Kalter Mego @kaltermego Twitter profile

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Little things my roommate does for me — she leaves by 9 and I wake up by 10 🥹

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Last Seen Profiles

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

1 year

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I've never known a single girl who downloaded a movie from torrent herself.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

1 year

that one friend in every group ever

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Startup Idea : A robot that slaps me every time I catch feelings for a toxic person!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

At 20, you want rough sex. At 30, you just wanna cuddle and sleep peacefully.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Physics so bad I thought I mattered

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

NEFT samjh nahi aarha, NFT seekhne chale

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Flirting with a hot girl is like appearing for IIT – unwanted competition with unknown people.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Girls and their obsession with "dahej nahi dungi but ladka ameera hona chahiye".

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

What can you say in bed and at a concert?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Don't get fooled, size does matter 👀

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Say sorry, if it's your mistake. Bring icecream, if it's hers 🥲

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

she be calling everyone bro and wondering why nobody's flirting with her!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

only if Indian parents could read this chat

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Women who understand men >>>

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

women with good intellect and less drama are wife material 🫶🏻

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I have no idea how people go about calling some random person mumma and papa after they get married !

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Downloaded bumble. What next?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

NFT : Nirmala फिरौती Tax

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

With great power, comes great sex.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I sleep at 5 AM. Can I register for 5 AM club?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

1 year

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

3 months

@Sameer_vyapari "Everywhere I go, I see customers" — every founder ever 🫡😂😂

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

ye 16 saal ke bachhe kyu follow kar rahe hain mujhe? Bhaago bc, IIT karo!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

@eenymeinyminymo Shuru shuru mei essa hi hota hai fir aati hain kaali raatein aur dukhad baatein, jab toot ta hai bhram aur khulti hai rum

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

If you were to write something for your gravestone, what would it be? Make it fun.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Tag someone I should go on a date with!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I think I am in love.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

ye stock market vaale 6-8% mei crazy hojate hain! Aao kabhi marvaao crypto mei 🥲

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

At 14, you think you can own the fucking world. At 23, you realise you don't even govern your own choices.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Got asked out. Said no! Now regretting.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

kabhi kabhi mann karta hai so soke marjau

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

#WeMetOnTwitter hogya guys! Cheers 🥰

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Startup Idea : An app that can turn my vanilla girlfriend into dark chocolate.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

RCB jesi life hogayi hai. Sab ummeed se dekh rahe par hamse kuch nhi ukhad rha! 🥹

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

1 year

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Psychology says "chutiye log chutiya hi rahenge, kitna bhi sudhaarne ki koshish karlo"

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Snapchat will send notifications about every screenshot I take but won't do shit when she's screen recording.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Girls can talk to sisters, female best friends, gay best friends, platonic friend who is already madly in love with someone else or a diary. But no, they'll make best friends with the guy who once had a crush on them and still replies within seconds. Yeah! Call men insecure.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Dude! Does she know you're dating her?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Fuck bumble, imma find matches on Twitter.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Creating a shitpost brainstorming group. Drop an emoji if you want to be there 🥹

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Fintech finance jese keywords use kare bina engagement aara hai kya kisi ka ?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Red Flag : Girl who flirts but also calls you bro at times. That's some real ambiguous shit everyone must stay away from!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

1 year

being 25 is hard. You see a hot woman and bam! She's 18 and you're a pedo! 💀

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I got two moods : roast or flirt. If you meet me on my roast day, it's not my fault.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Don't be surprised if my gravestone read "felt like taking a long nap, do not disturb"

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

They say invest in yourself and then put all their life savings in some IIT or IIM.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Been getting 4 hours of sleep max, since a week now. Koi meri taraf se so lo bhai!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who finds petting street dogs as purest form of love ❤️

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Why tf are words starting with D so Dark, Depressing. Doomed. Dreaded. Disturbed. Dead. Damaged. Distant. Distaste. Dire.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

haan bhai khareed liya NFT. Ab kya karu?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Trust me, no good conversations ever came out of "Whats up? How's life?"

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Periods ki tarah hogayi hai engagement, mahine mei chaar din aati hai bass 🙂

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Daler Mehendi metaverse mei properties khareed raha hai and mei yaha Banaglore Pune ke rents compare kar raha hu 🥲

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

jaldi jaldi weekend waste kar deta hu, fir Monday ko rona bhi toh hai 🥹

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

me to my mobile : why so hot, babe?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Suno! Koi time nikal ke mujhe goli mardo!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Fml I realised I stare at bikes longer than I stare at hot chicks! 🤌🏻

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Ek SaaS chahiye!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

a double-edged sword : when you flirt with everyone, you don't feel attached to anyone.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

10 months

@Somya_Crazy islie job nahi chhodni thi

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

doing epic shit. What next?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

koi pls ek cup coffee, 100 gm motivation aur 7 crore rupaye bhej do!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Humans have a tendency to disappoint, that's why I like dogs better! 🐾

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

My life be like - Stressed? Sojao. Angry? Sojao. Actually Sleepy? Movie dekhlo. Bored? Sojao. Frustrated? Sojao.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

People who instantly fall in love are the ones who were deprived of it the most.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Twitter = Khule me hagna is perfectly okay!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Struggling to find the purpose of my life!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

1100 followers hogaye! Naacho bc 🎊

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Mil gayi kaleje ko thandak, mummy?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Hey! Drop some meme templates 👇🏻

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

You ever talk to someone so much that you just feel empty when they're no more around?

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

yaar ek cheez final karlo sab milke, is it handshake or fistbump? Fix one!!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

My tweets are not life updates. It all comes from my drafts, don't connect the dots.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

While dating : Vo meri duniya hai ! After dating : Duniya madarchod hai

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Wtf ! We're not in 2021 ??

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Colleagues flirting on 14th, Monday morning be like : "Gmeet or G-spot today?"

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

4 months

@shruteeeh @Prateek_Aaryan women come and go, prateek's cringe and shameless engagement farming stays.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Going to jump off from highest bungee spot of India. Zinda bach jaau bass 🫣

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I once hated people who could peacefully sleep with alarms ringing on their heads. Now I'm that person. Thank you God!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Never have I ever been scratched by a dog. Madarchod kameeni billiya 🤌🏻

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Fun fact : Ab sabko Warikoo se book milti hai, stop showing it off ! 🥰

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Ye ghatiya aur purana kaha hai, ye toh hamara education system hai 🤌🏻

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Posting erotic pics to get engagement is the digital version of prostitution. Fight me.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

13 days

just another day without the basic needs

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

If I'm instantly checking your snaps/reading your texts, it means I'm constantly using my phone. Nothing special about you! 🤌🏻

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Them : Can we skip to the good part? Covid : A. B. C. D. E. Fuck you & your plans.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

5 months

unplanned plans be the best plans 🔥

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Giveaway Alert !! 🎊 Distributing ETH on hitting 200 followers !

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Best friends and their obsession with "katva liya? Mene toh bola hi tha" 🥲

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

I might not be a believer, but I can do Pooja all night long 🥰

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Marry a woman who let's you complete your arguments and justifications.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Twitter >> Tinder 🥰

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

arre kaha ho naye followers? consistent ho hoke thak gaya bc.

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

cancel me but I hate Gujarati snacks

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Some people flex about having sex as it is a trophy to have. Waah bachho waah!

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Kalter Mego

@kaltermego

2 years

Sabse madarchod jaanvar = billiya 🤌🏻

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