“holden” “seidlitz” @jock__derrida Twitter profile

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

1 year

can I get a goddamn timpani roll (I'm writing a fucking book)

33 1/3 Books

@333books

1 year

The moment you've been waiting for... Following our open call for proposals last year, we can ✨ finally ✨ announce the new 33 1/3s joining the series in 2024! We hope this list includes both some well-loved and new albums for you to explore.

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

2 years

living in brooklyn is easy. I just walked into a coffee shop where three baristas were critiquing some dude one of them matched with on hinge and I said “scorpio men are cancelled” I have no idea what that means but they all shrieked gleefully and then gave me a free cappuccino

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@jock__derrida

3 years

happy father’s day to high school english teachers

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@jock__derrida

8 months

contrary to all the flooding greene ave is on fire

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@jock__derrida

2 years

moving is a rare circumstance in which the thing itself might actually be as bad as the dread of the thing

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@jock__derrida

3 years

favorite kirsten dunst film is the fastest way to identify anyone’s taste. I know exactly who u are if u associate her with lars von trier over spider-man. bring it on vs virgin suicides. eternal sunshine. there are like 5 types of people and each is instantiated by kirsten dunst

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@jock__derrida

3 years

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@jock__derrida

3 years

everything is about sex except for sex, which is about chess

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

1 year

I can’t even articulate in words the honor of your teenage cousin asking you to be in their BeReal

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

1 year

Guillermo del toro’s pinocchio made me cry and kicks so much ass. during the talkback he delayed the actual questions so he could invite kids in the audience up front to play with the stop motion figures

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jeopardy!

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

I am loath to make posts like this but I got the most exciting phone call of my young life earlier and found out I will be starting as a full-time employee of the fucking New Yorker magazine the day after my 24th birthday. what the fuck! I drank one martini and I love all of you

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@jock__derrida

3 years

if the first tattoo you ever got doesn't kind of suck you're uptight

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@jock__derrida

4 months

What lesbian breakup caused an hour and a half of uninterrupted adrianne lenker over the big speakers at the rock climbing gym

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

no one tells you that hot girl summer is mostly just finding places to pee in prospect park

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@jock__derrida

3 years

new vocation in the sartorial

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@jock__derrida

2 years

something kind of catholic about treadmills

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@jock__derrida

1 month

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

2 months

I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this but for the last several weeks I just sort of assumed that Bene Gesserit was another member of netanyahu’s cabinet

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

2 years

please bring back physical menus I can’t do this shit anymore bro

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@jock__derrida

3 years

many of u who fancy yourself the alt friend in your normie friend group because you had a CD of the trainspotting soundtrack in your mom’s SUV in high school could really benefit from the humiliation of being the least edgy disc jockey at your liberal arts college radio station

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@jock__derrida

4 years

@jaemmmmmm but heath ledger could

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

4 years

if u were a girl at liberal arts school in the 2010s at least six different but indistinguishable men tried to explain to you the first season of true detective over the din of their friend’s shitty psych rock band. Sound Familiar? You May Be Entitled To Compensation. CALL NOW

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@jock__derrida

2 years

if you didn’t fail your driver’s test at least once you’re probably not hot

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

2 years

nothing compares to crying while washing dishes. no other class of crying even comes close

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@jock__derrida

4 months

Richard siken that always makes me think of the first day of the new year

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@jock__derrida

5 months

today I discovered that in 2010 Gaspar noé and harmony korine were filming a reality TV show and ran into david berman on the street outside a screening of Trash Humpers. and Noé thought the band name was a joke

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@jock__derrida

3 years

“I can change him”

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@jock__derrida

2 years

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@jock__derrida

3 months

Fucked up @BusyPhilipps garage sale like it was highway robbery. She told me she bought this lonesome crowded west CD as a teenager and drove the whole way from arizona to LA to shoot freaks and geeks listening to it in her honda civic windows down chainsmoking spirits

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@jock__derrida

4 years

james wood found dead

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@jock__derrida

3 years

@EliYurman bisexual

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@jock__derrida

2 years

surreal, very sad news about Sondheim. just the other week I had the supreme honor of speaking with him for the magazine and he was a marvel, warm and full of life. also told me I "talk too fast" and "should enunciate" which is the nicest thing a theatre titan will ever say to me

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@jock__derrida

3 years

whenever my friends claim to have developed feelings for someone on a dating app before meeting them in person it’s like, no, you’ve fallen in love with the speaker of the poem

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@jock__derrida

2 years

girl whose vecna song is pork and beans by weezer

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@jock__derrida

3 years

@markkrotov you’re somebody who probably likes the baz luhrmann r + j and simultaneously has superior taste in lesser wes anderson

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@jock__derrida

1 year

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@jock__derrida

2 years

sincerely cannot believe I can say I spent christmas eve fact-checking zadie smith on joan didion for the new yorker. what the hell. thank you to the “breaking news” “holiday” team for landing this triple axel. monumental in a way I can scarcely comprehend

Joan Didion and the Opposite of Magical Thinking

You didn’t have to agree with her, but you had to submit to her sentences.

www.newyorker.com

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@jock__derrida

3 years

can they WHAT

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@jock__derrida

8 months

@JulesChinGreene we’ve been better. but we have also been worse

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@jock__derrida

3 years

full harvest moon tomorrow night who wants to drink cider and listen to neil young on the roof until we’re dizzy and hysterical

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@jock__derrida

9 months

the sold out Walter Reade audience for 70mm restoration of Boogie Nights erupted in applause when Philip Seymour Hoffman first comes on screen and I have never felt such kinship and community spirit, I feel like I finally get why strangers kiss when their team wins the world cup

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

I am going to become the literary world’s jack antonoff. I’m going to take a cabal of aspiring girl writers to my remote cabin and edit each of their novels to mimic sally rooney’s palatable syntax, undercut with something a little nostalgic, something namelessly specific

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@jock__derrida

3 months

Congrats Lucy you’re a fuckin legend

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@jock__derrida

2 years

HAHAHAHAHHAA WHAT THE FUCK

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@jock__derrida

3 years

What the hell is going on

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@jock__derrida

2 years

woman snuck a kitten into this coffee shop in her jacket and she hasn’t bought anything shes just sitting there juuling with it

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@jock__derrida

3 years

what a girl wants is the 1960 hermès 3000 typewriter in sea green

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@jock__derrida

7 months

Amy schumer posting a zionist graphic quoting the essay that camus—a writer whose most famous work concerns settler indifference to Arab life—wrote abt the bomb and how no large nation should have existential power over any smaller nation is the only time she has ever been funny

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@jock__derrida

8 months

I don’t mean to be hostile to the cause but why do none of the women in the armpit hair subway ads have armpit hair

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@jock__derrida

2 years

anne carson in the december 1997 new yorker

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@jock__derrida

2 years

found a first edition marie howe at myopic for nine dollars

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@jock__derrida

2 years

babe wake up george bush just called the brutal invasion of iraq wholly unjustified on live television

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@jock__derrida

3 months

Thought turnstile was opening for vampire weekend and that no one caught the graphic designer's typo until further inquiry revealed that no it is in fact a billy joel tribute band from south florida which somehow does actually make more sense

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@jock__derrida

2 years

since the world is ending why not let the children touch the paintings

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@jock__derrida

4 months

happy birthday David I love you

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@jock__derrida

1 month

Marie Howe

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@jock__derrida

3 years

@eggshellfriend no but then past that is “but the quality and distinction of art does matter” and then it’s “who cares” “but art matters” “who cares” “art matters” “who cares” “art matters” ad infinitum

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@jock__derrida

2 years

I wrote about the greatest band in the world, what we aren’t talking about when we talk about pop-punk, and why we should insist on staying alive, despite everything, for @pitchfork

The Wonder Years Go Where Pop-Punk Rarely Has: Parenthood

How a cult-favorite band in a genre known for its immaturity bottled the beauty and complexity of adulthood.

pitchfork.com

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@jock__derrida

2 years

explained Cat Person to Ben Lerner last night

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@jock__derrida

4 years

Damn Lana’s new book of poems really is fire

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@jock__derrida

3 years

STOP! this is a chill checkpoint.......always remember to never forget to chill

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@jock__derrida

3 years

I am unfortunately once again thinking about this anne carson poem

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@jock__derrida

10 months

this is the best thing anyone has ever said about me

Fatemeh Khatibloo, aka فاطی جون

@fatemehx2

10 months

@HoldenSeidlitz Giving baby Lee Pace vibes.

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@jock__derrida

2 years

STILL THE CRAZIEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE NEWSSTANDS NOW BABY WHAT THE FUCK HAhAHAH

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@jock__derrida

2 years

for my first in @NewYorker , I wrote a few words about tentacle porn, avant-garde metal, and HR Giger's crush on Blondie

Among the Goths, Proto-Goths, and Technical Metalheads at an H. R. Giger Show

A retrospective for the artist known for designing the creature in Ridley Scott’s “Alien” pairs a metal concert with tentacle-porn-adjacent works.

www.newyorker.com

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@jock__derrida

3 years

I wrote about love and brain damage at liberal arts school, after Dostoyevsky. thank you @jiatolentino , for your trust

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@jock__derrida

3 years

found a pair of my mom’s old cowboy boots from the ‘80s can I get a yeehaw

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@jock__derrida

6 months

sometimes my therapist brings up my dead mom the way a youth pastor does Jesus. the other day we were talking about the fact that being late gives me anxiety and they were like, You know who else didn’t have enough time,

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@jock__derrida

1 year

queasy and very sad thinking about BookForum. this sounds alarmist but I don’t know how we’re going to protect against the dizzying incursion of corporatist, fascistic philistinism without the publications that insisted on aesthetics as an ethics: style, nuance, and risk

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@jock__derrida

4 months

this may sound trivial in relative terms, but P4K was the 1st place to change my name and pronouns. literally the day I told people I was going by Holden my friends there went into the backend and edited my byline and author bio immediately. a deeply humane and thoughtful staff

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@jock__derrida

26 days

Went out listening to random rules by silver jews

“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

29 days

Top surgery on monday (say your goodbyes)

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@jock__derrida

1 year

Imagine you’re noah baumbach. exactly a decade after your stunning cult-hit wry debut film comes out bob dylan’s son steals its title and makes a will ferrell children’s movie about a soccer coach in a blue tiger print onesie that grosses almost 100 times your box office earnings

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@jock__derrida

5 months

Seeing a movie with my ex gf tonight

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@jock__derrida

8 months

@2020tho between bedford and nostrand!

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@jock__derrida

2 years

hope they cancel me for this one. I wrote about When We Were Young Fest and I guess wanting to kill yourself as a teenager, for @Gawker

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@jock__derrida

2 years

it snowed for 8 minutes who wants to install ourselves by the fireplace at a coffee shop where they’re playing belle & sebastian and intermittently read each other aloud poignant or otherwise impressive lines from the novels we’re each buried in

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@jock__derrida

3 years

if you use an umbrella you’re a bitch and a coward

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@jock__derrida

3 years

computer, enhance

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

I’m in the new york times for being nonbinary and violating health code 153.09

julia carmel (beefy baby)

@julcarm

3 years

If you’ve ever struggled to find a bathroom in NYC, I dedicate this one to you 😔🚽

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@jock__derrida

3 years

what did he mean by this

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@jock__derrida

4 years

what's the "cuffing season" nomenclature for the state of romance in anticipation of global quarantine

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@jock__derrida

6 months

Ben Lerner is the greatest writer in the world

lake micah

@afrofatalism

6 months

In December’s @Harpers we’ve a Ben Lerner feuilleton on what are perhaps his eternal themes: the plasticity of language and thus of meaning, the tendency of meanings to shift, and the shifts over time in our sense of the world as it is and as it might be:

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“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

1-800-hot girl shit

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@jock__derrida

3 years

all dogs are boys, and all cats are also boys. in fact all people are boys. except for women,who are girls [audience applauds]

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@jock__derrida

10 months

@mustardbagel still am baby

“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

3 years

comparison tally is up to 7

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@jock__derrida

2 years

I can’t believe david byrne pedaled his bike to the arcade fire show in a full suit came out during the encore to lead the crowd in a singalong of give peace a chance and then just hung out at the bar downstairs while people around him wept religiously on account of his presence

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@jock__derrida

1 year

@eggshellfriend not very feminist of you callie

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@jock__derrida

2 months

jourdain searles

@judysquirrels

2 months

what do you get for a guy who is turning 30

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@jock__derrida

2 years

late last night I checked my phone and saw I had a voicemail from my dad, who almost never calls, and only ever in case of emergency. then I played what turned out to be 19 seconds of him thanking me for leaving my third eye blind CD in his car, “an excellent CD”

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@jock__derrida

11 months

I’ve been thinking about the “wee hat” since rachel started reporting this perfect story

rachel syme

@rachsyme

11 months

In this week’s issue of @NewYorker …I profiled Sarah Jessica Parker

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@jock__derrida

2 months

UPDATE

“holden” “seidlitz”

@jock__derrida

2 months

You guys 😭😭😭😭😭

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@jock__derrida

10 months

I thought, is Animal Collective our Grateful Dead? and then I thought, I can’t safely post that online

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@jock__derrida

3 years

elena ferrante revealed on the masked singer

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@jock__derrida

2 years

thanks @Felixixix666

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@jock__derrida

2 years

just signed a lease in bedstuy for my first-ever studio!!!!! I am finally going to live alone!! I'm an adult or something like it!

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@jock__derrida

10 months

@jxckchilli

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@jock__derrida

3 years

sometimes it is sincerely difficult for me to believe jeff buckley had his heart broken as many times as would’ve been required for him to write the music he did when he looked like that

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@jock__derrida

3 years

contracting COVID a week after receiving the first dose of the vaccine isn't a job for the faint of heart, but somebody had to do it

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