Jesse Case @jessecase Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@HendroN28809209

@BudozPR

@WaukeshaSheriff

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@motaraps

@latestinspace

@BLumb3rg

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@zachmelloh26

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@Padraic14

@InVerumGaming

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@sintoista

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@h_cristooo

@vE11Hln5VyhAJUN

@JackBowen9

@imoootjya

@suicidalpixel

@NuhaUdon

Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Heads up everyone, it's Ninja Turtle weather

NWS Storm Prediction Center

@NWSSPC

2 years

11:32am CDT #SPC Day1 Outlook Slight Risk: Across the Ozark Plateau through the Ohio River Valley

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

11 months

The news is always like: "America has banned wheelchair ramps because they weren't in the Bible. Finland has made ice cream free."

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

5 months

I always feel awful for the elves. You took the job 80 years ago to make some whimsical rocking horses, 4 parts tops. And now you're soldering an iPad motherboard with your arthritic, cinnamon-scented hands. A brutal gig.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

This was such a banger

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

"How could an 18 year old have become a supremacist" they scream, while banning CRT and holocaust books

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Using a document from 1789 to ban abortion because it isn't mentioned, but allow semi-automatic rifles and Kevlar is such next-level fuckery that the brain starts to black out.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

It would be hilarious if alcohol had gotten stronger since the 60s like weed did. Your dad tries a sip of your Coors Lite and passes out.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

9 months

This will break Etsy

Reda

@RedaMor_

9 months

BREAKING: Former President Trump will have his mugshot taken when he’s arraigned in Fulton County Georgia, per Sheriff Pat Labat.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

4 months

My phone got an "extreme cold" alert that said to check on the elderly, and like 5 minutes later the kids next door checked on me. Brutal.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Everyone at Juul headquarters is SCRAMBLING to figure out how to make a gun you can vape.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

For perspective, if you somehow made $200,000 every single DAY from Columbus' landing in 1492 until now, you still wouldn't have the $44 billion to buy Twitter. It's pretty gross.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

I guess I wasn't aware that the full phrase was "Believe Women, unless you enjoyed the Pirates of the Carribean franchise so much that you developed an insane parasocial relationship with an actor"

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

During WW2, soldiers could mail a voice message to loved ones on a super flimsy 78. My dad found one that his dad sent his mom but he has no way to play it, so it's up to me to transfer it to mp3. So I got a mic, added some crackle, and I'm about to record some absolute FILTH.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

4 months

Every awards show, I'm blown away by the secretly-British. Like someone always wins for playing Al Capone and goes, "oy, I wanna thank me nan, who's in hospital, innit." Absolute mayhem.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

5 months

One time I spent Christmas with an exes family and they asked if I'd ever seen A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I said "no, I'm allergic to peanuts" and nobody got the joke and her mom spent all week avoiding putting nuts in stuff and we broke up like 3 weeks later. Carry on.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

what's gonna be on all those rural billboards now

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

I somehow have trouble both sleeping AND staying awake?

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

9 days

SNL always has episodes where a musician is the host and musical guest, but they never do that with the actors. Come on Paul Giamatti, sing some tunes, it's your night.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

If anyone ever asks you to explain a gap in your resumé just tell them you were filming Batgirl

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

A few years ago my dad was driving me to my chemo appointment. Silence. He looked intense. I couldn't imagine what he was feeling, I'm not a parent. I took his hand and said "what's on your mind?" He said "man...having antlers would be crazy". Hardest I've laughed. Carry on.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

21 days

2 hours. 2 hours, I searched.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

You were having a fine evening. Feeling youthful, energetic. Then you saw Pokémon cards on Antiques Roadshow.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

The next step is perfect "WW2 voice". It comes heavily from keeping the tongue as flat as possible. We'll also be making several references to how the "real Battle of the Bulge is in my pants whenever I think about you. The only casualty is my wrist"

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

We all have 8 great-grandparents and none of us can name them all, so I advise focusing on your legacy a little less and just trying to have a cool, weird happy life.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Patience, people. Pro Tools template is set up, decent record crackle, good background ambience, EQs sound pretty "40s" (3-5k spike). I take making my father uncomfortable very seriously. Now, to write the voice message. Will update as I record.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

The first step of faking an extremely sexual 1943 voicemail from your grandpa to make your father uncomfortable is proper equipment. We'll be using a Shure Model 51 into a 1073 pre with super heavy tube compression.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

@cstechcast I have that setup, I'm also getting the real audio for him. I just never miss an opportunity to mess with him a bit first

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

6 months

I'm 7 years sober today. Which tells you about all you need to know about my family Thanksgiving 7 years ago.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

5 months

@AceCombatter No, that's how Apple does it. Elves still hand-solder, using nutmeg scented flux paste. Their toy workshops lack the infrastructure to even support surface-mount robotics. Everyone knows that.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

18 days

Do the cops storming colleges not realize that this will only lead to more folk music?

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

I'm a PROUD bidet user, but it didn't occur to me how losing power in 0° weather would affect the water temp. I think I just had what could be called a religious experience with that bidet. Like, I saw things.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

5 months

not to brag but I can almost always tell when it's a car with antlers instead of an actual reindeer

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Our country is so broken that we treat mass shootings like natural disasters. Like "hope it doesn't happen" is the only option available. These aren't earthquakes.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Living in Nashville is weird because it's all dodging drunk bachelorettes on a "party-tractor" and then every 3 months it's the apocalypse. It's like the world's weirdest video game.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

I don't love that M*rjorie Taylor Gre*ne keeps saying the most dangerous shit and people just dunk on her mispronunciations. She'll be like "we need to build consternation camps for the libs" and we just lolz our way into fascism. Focus, people.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Every frozen food is like "microwave for 30 seconds or preheat oven to 450° and bake for 8 hours".

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Whoever named the orange absolutely nailed it.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

11 months

@OctopusCaveman Anthony, hilarious and depressing is what we do baby

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

@jsmashmore Nobody has that 15th Century hustle mindset anymore smh

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

One time in 7th grade I had a panic attack before I knew what they were, so I went to the school nurse and said "it's hard to explain, I just don't feel good" and she said "well nobody FEELS good." I think about that lady like once a week.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

"Gen-X", "Millennial", "Zoomer", it's all too complicated. Should just be the name of the Batman you grew up with. "Oh you're a Keaton? Cool, cool. Damn you're dating a Bale? That's crazy"

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Being a dude in your 30s is rough. You TRY not to get into Steely Dan. You try as hard as you can. One day you catch yourself with horror doing a toe tap to the radio. 5 months later you're researching boats with room for a piano.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Hugged my dad for the first time in over a year today. We've both been fully vaccinated since early January, he just disgusts me.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

I've already broken all my resolutions and like 4 commandments

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

4 months

@SSCG379 I'm in my 30s too. Like, I'm "old" if I'm filming a tiktok dance, not in a snowstorm. But here we are, from the last century.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

Getting older is kinda fun because pop culture eventually becomes complete gibberish. Every article is like "2-Tyte left the Coochie Crew after the Crab Dad discourse to hang with Madisyn Blakely on the set of Fiancé Farm" and you're just like "aw, word"

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

The craziest thing I've ever heard was when someone told me they were "38 and a half"

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

have we landed on a date to tell them that George Orwell was a socialist or are we just gonna keep the bit going

Lauren Boebert

@laurenboebert

2 years

1984 called and they want their bleak, immoral, thuggish and deadly totalitarian dystopian future back.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

4 months

I've already broken all my resolutions and like 4 commandments

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Alright, yesterday got very busy, today's the day. Operation Fake Horny WW2 Record is a GO.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

Most people don't realize this, but the Macy's parade keeps going after it airs on TV. It's currently in New Jersey, beginning its long journey back to the sea.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

11 months

The Family Feud prompt was "names for the devil" and the teams only got 2. Meanwhile, as a heavy metal enjoyer, I'm basically screaming ancient Aramaic cult chants at my tv and would have breezed my way to a free vacation. Infuriating. Carry on.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

It was pretty awesome before smartphones. Like you could just push someone into a pool and not owe them $800.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Bruh you guys have GOT to quit getting all hopeful that Trump could actually face consequences every 3 weeks.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 months

Eddie Murphy

Variety

@Variety

3 months

Who Should Play John, Paul, George and Ringo in the Beatles Movies?

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

This has GOTTA be the closest that the nuclear secrets have ever been to a Subway party tray.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

One time I was checking my mailbox and it was empty and a guy driving by shouted "AIN'T NOBODY CORRESPONDING WITH YOUR ASS!" and I laughed so hard I threw out my back. Carry on.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

I went to an elementary school that wouldn't teach evolution but then served dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, which is literally the whole thing.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

"Boomer", "Gen X", "Millennial", "Zoomer", it's all too hard to remember. Should just be the name of your childhood Batman. Oh you're a Keaton? Cool, cool. Damn you're dating a Bale? That's crazy.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

7 months

at this point why do flag-masts even have a top half

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

You think Cinderella was bummed at midnight, what about those mice? They were HORSES for a few hours.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

One time as a kid on Christmas I tried to bake a pie that required caramel sauce and we didn't have any so I microwaved a shitload of Werther's Originals and we almost had to move

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

@Cpin42 Yeah man, the exponentials for billions makes us not realize how insane it is. It's a criminal amount of money.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

boarded my Southwest flight and they just gave us all theremins

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

It's amazing to me that we can fire photon beams at a tumor cell's nucleus and use mRNA to create customized antibodies, but when we get the hiccups we still have to do whatever insane thing our grandma said once and hope for the best.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

5 months

@Dianaabananaa She was a very kind, gentle, and humorless lady

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Yesterday Nashville had tornado warnings. Tonight it's snowing. I assume tomorrow there will be some sort of sea monster attack.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

I have a ton more all the way through '45. May do a dumb lil series. For all concerned, my dad thinks it's hilarious, the real audio is very cool (converting soon). My hilarious old grandpa was the jam, and fought fascism❤️. Grandma is still around (she's 100)! Okay save Roe thx

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

I'm 5 years sober today, which is rad and probably why I'm alive. If you're struggling with all that stuff, I got your back and I'm always down to chat. Carry on.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

No offense but I hate being in a pandemic with you guys. Next pandemic I'm doing it with a different general public.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

Now that there are armed guards at all the doors, people are comparing schools to jail, which is completely unfair. Jails have free lunch.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

7 months

I was told Jared Kushner fixed all this

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

@PretendEditor They did! And it was pre zip code. I have 3 of them from 43-45. One literally just has my grandmother's name and town, not even a street address. Maybe she picked it up at the post office? I'm amazed they survived.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Mar a Lago must be absolutely DRENCHED in ketchup right now

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Man, the "HIPAA VIOLATION!" crowd is sure into Simone Biles' personal health decisions all of a sudden.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Therapy is interesting because so much of what I wanna talk about is just based on appointment time. 10am me and 4pm me are two very different dudes.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

I spent my entire year in quarantine blocking every unattractive person on Twitter. If you can read this, you're hot.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

This tweet is doing alright I guess so I'll just say you're all very good looking, good job on that, and also check out my weird cat. Okay, that's all.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Every time things may be slightly inconvenient for 4 days, half of America reenacts Mad Max.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

The theme of every Met Gala is wealth inequality.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

All of humanity can be summed up as people that return the cart and people that don't.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

(he made it home)

1943 from england

null

www.youtube.com

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

6 months

Good luck with your parents' absurd WiFi password this week, everyone!

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

My man I have SO many questions

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Everything you need to know about 2022 is that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is in a plastic evidence bag right now. You'll put the rest together.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

I hate when tourists in Nashville wear cowboy hats to try to fit in. Like I don't go to your town in Ohio and wear a Fentanyl patch or whatever.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

hey how much do you think a fake meatball sub costs WRONG it's $108

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 months

The Republicans put on a suburban mom to win back the suburban moms, without realizing that suburban moms haaaaaate each other.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

For some historical perspective, it's been 475 years(!) since England had a king that murdered his wife.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Neil Young could start a 3 hour podcast for gullible incels, but Joe Rogan could never write Harvest Moon.

The Hollywood Reporter

@THR

2 years

Spotify to Pull Neil Young’s Music After Artist’s Objections to Joe Rogan

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Can't get over that the Ewoks had a random grown human woman dress on hand.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Anyone that thinks vaccines cause autism should work with virologists for a while. I assure you that actually, autism causes vaccines.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

4 months

@hydrogen_trees Nope, that's what all British people sound like. Then they thank our American host, which is a giant talking gun.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

My dad is a 76 year-old bluegrass musician, so I gave him a vocoder. Carry on.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

1 year

I recently had to explain to the cops that I'm not a Peeping Tom, I'm just secretly spying into my own house to see if the cats get along when I'm gone.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

Living through a collapse of an empire is WAY dumber than I imagined.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

6 months

I'm at an age where literally anything could trigger my mid-life crisis, so I have to be cautious. Inviting me bowling? No can do. I may love it, go all-in, and try to convert my garage.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

3 years

Accidentally watched the Dee Snider cut of Justice League. 3 minutes long, most of which was a hot babe dancing on a car while a dude wailed on a Flying V.

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

the only hope now is to get a pawn all the way down the board

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Jesse Case

@jessecase

2 years

The weather in Nashville is SOOOO crazy! Right now it's snowing, last week it was 80°, and yesterday 9 cops shot and killed a mentally ill man.

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