Zayd @jaydbint Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Zayd

@jaydbint

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602

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315

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GP Apprentice/SHO/FY3. 100% legitimate doctor. Medical degree available to view on request.

Joined December 2014

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

Dr: "So this is her chest X ray. What do you think?" Me: "It looks OK aside from the masses at the bottom of lungs." Dr: "2 huge masses on a woman's chest? What do you think they are?" Me: "They could be tumours but its bilateral so-". Dr: "Those are her breasts, Zayd" Me: "Oh"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

Dr: "Zayd you speak Urdu right? Me: "a little bit, but I'm not confid-" Dr: "Could you assess the patient's blood sugar control?" Me: "Aapke hoon main, kitne mitai hai (how many desserts do you have in your bloodstream?" Patient: "....kya (what)? I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

During a late shift, I noticed that the hospital had a grand piano in the lobby. I was bored so I decided to play for a bit. After a while, a nurse walked up to me. She told me that the hospital was already depressing enough without "some idiot playing Greensleeves downstairs."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Seeing that most of my followers are medics, let's talk about Razan al-Najjar. She was a Palestinian 20 year old medic. In June 2018 she ran to help a wounded man. She had her paramedic jacket on so she knew she'd be safe. She was wrong. An Israeli army sniper shot her anyway.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Me: "There's a consultant on the phone wondering why we didn't accept that referral?" Cons: "Because there's no clearly no gastro issue- wait who's calling?" Me: "The ED consultant" C: "Urgh fine, tell her we'll accept" Me: "Why?" C *annoyed*:"Because that consultant is my wife."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Patient: "Your English is surprisingly good!" Me *laughing*: "What?" P: "No offense-" Me: "I mean, I did grow up in Yorkshire but yes my vocabulary has remained intact." P: "That's not what I meant." Me: "What did you mean?" *Awkward silence* P: "You know what, never mind."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Reg: "How did things go with that cardiac arrest you saw?" Me: "How did you know I saw that cardiac arrest?" Reg *reading notes out loud*: "Arrived on scene to find patient in moderate distress and F1 Dr in severe distress shouting "I don't know what I'm doing" repeatedly."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

I attempted a handover yday: My FY1: "OK don't be nervous. Just do the same thing you've done in your OSCEs" Me: "OK" *I pick up the phone and dial for med reg* Me: "Hi I'm Zayd I'm the medical student can I just confirm your name and date of birth please?" Med Reg: "Excuse me?"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Got threatened with a DATIX (complaint) today because one of the nurses walked into the doctors office and I was listening to "LoFi beats to study to" while doing paperwork (I was on my own and you couldn't hear it outside). I'm so tired. I don't really know what else to say.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

During a prostate exam today, the med student's phone went off. To my dismay, they'd chosen George Michael's "Careless Whisper" as their ringtone. I finished the exam and apologised profusely to the patient. He looked me in the eyes and replied "I'm never gonna dance again."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

"Sorry I haven't met you yet, what's your name?" "Oh hi! I'm Zayd" "Oh god I'm never gonna be able to pronounce that!" Really Karen? It's 1 syllable and pronounced exactly like it's spelt. Think AID with a Z in front of it. Genuinely people are scared of non-white names.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Consultant: "Zayd how are those patient's notes coming along?" Me: "I'm struggling to read the handwriting tbh, it's a bit-" Cons "That's my handwriting..." *Silence* Me: "I'm sorry, I meant no offence. Could you just tell me what that says?" Cons *reading*: "...I don't know."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

PassMedicine: "You got this q wrong" Me: "Urgh" PassMedicine "98% of people got the answer right. You were in the 2% that got it wrong." Me: "OK. I get it." PassMedicine: "Your exam is next week. 90% of students sitting exam next week are better than you." Me: "I SAID I GET IT!"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Just an FYI- if you say "no offense" and then go on to say something offensive, it doesn't make what you said any less offensive.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

9 months

FY1: "So what's troponin for the guy having chest pain?" Other FY1: "It's over..9000!!!!" FY1: "Haha that's a great reference!" Other FY1: "Haha thanks man" *laughs some more then silence* FY1: "We should probably tell someone-" Other FY1: "Yeah this man's having a heart attack."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

On placement the consultant asked me what half of 0 was and I said 0.5. He looked at me as if I'd assaulted his mother and then said "Zayd if I have no apples and I give you half of that, how many apples would you get" I told him I'd consult trust guidelines and he threw me out.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Pharmacist: "You prescribed salbutamol every 4 hrs, but you've written the 1st dose at 1pm and 2nd dose at 4pm. Thats 3 hrs." Me: "Ah" Ph: "You've put the next dose at 6pm. That's 2 hrs" Me: "OK" Ph: "You've written 15 doses. None of them are 4 hrs apart. That's impressive." 😓

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Nurse 1"Should we sit here?" Nurse 2: *looks at me*"No I think he's one of those new docs that don't speak English." Me: "Good evening! Your arrival is serendipitous! Join me, for it is late and I am weary with solitude." Nurse 1 *walks away* "Yeah he doesn't speak English!" 😔

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*Dr and I looking at a CT scan showing fluid on the brain" Dr: "Thoughts" Me: "Interesting, it seems this person.." Dr: "Yes?" Me: "...has something on their mind." *Silence* Dr: "I'm going to start hitting you now. And I don't know when I'll stop." Me: "I'm sorry."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Me: "I can't come do that TTO because I'm in A&E and it's busy" Nurse: "Aw you poor thing. Hey you know that Vocera phone you have? Let me show you a cool feature" Me: "Wha-" Nurse: "Vocera, locate Zayd." Vocera: "Zayd is in the Dr's mess" *Silence* Nurse: "Get your ass up here."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

So apparently I was supposed to start working on New Year's Day in 1753. Anyone have any tips on how to make a good first impression if you're 268 years late for work? Asking for a friend.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*Consultant shouting at me* Con: *WHY DID YOU SEND THE PATIENT HOME WITH THESE MEDS?" Me: "I apologize, I was just following your plan in the notes" Con: "DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT I CHANGED MY MIND!?" Me: "Did you write that in the notes?" *Consultant glares at me* Me: "Oh crap"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*Holding a baby while the Dr cannulates him* Dr: "The needle's gotten stuck in something so I think I missed." Nurse: "Well at least the baby isn't crying that much." Dr: "That's weird, where is this blood coming from?" Me *needle stuck in my hand*: "I think I can answer that."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

In my defence, the patients body proportions made it hard to work out her... anatomical landmarks. Also it was really early in the morning.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

While the reaction to this has mostly been positive, a few of you have contacted me to ask how someone like me is becoming a medic. To these people I say: your guess is as good as mine. Allah SWT truly does work miracles and if you have real concerns, remember me in your prayers!

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Nurse: "Can you change this prescription? They've written "a dash" for the dose." Me *joking*: "What's wrong with that?" Nurse *annoyed*: "Oh I'm sorry doctor, would you like a dash of diazepam? Shall I powder the tablet and sprinkle it into the patient's mouth like Saltbae?"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Me: "I'm trying to urgently bleep radiology but it's not working, and someone is bleeping me constantly at the same time." Dr: "That's not radiology's number. In fact I think that's your number." Me: "Ah." Dr: "So you've just been bleeping yourself this whole time." Me: "I see."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

She didn't complain when I was playing Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles", so maybe she just has an issue with classical music composed by King Henry VIII

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@jaydbint

Zayd

1 year

Reg: "What's wrong" Me *stressed*: "The surgeon emailed me asking me to organise a CT for his patient and I accidentally sent my reply before it was finished." Reg: "What?" Me: "I was trying to say no worries" Reg: "What did you say?" Me: "Dear Mr Tan, no." Reg: "..that's bold."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Thank you all for your kind responses! I know there's a lot of pressure on everyone at the moment. But I just feel like working in healthcare wouldn't be so draining if healthcare professionals would treat each other with the same kindness and empathy that we show our patients.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

I asked the surgeon what songs he was gonna play during theatres and he said "I quite like "Don't Speak" by No Doubt." The song started and ended. Then it started again. It became clear that this was the ONLY song the surgeon liked. The op lasted 3 hrs. The song played 45 times.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Nurse: "I saw you whispering to yourself when you were inserting that cannula. Were you praying?" Me: "Yes...I was praying..." *Me, during the cannula insertion*: "SOON MAY THE WELLERMAN COME, TO BRING US SUGAR AND TEA AND RUM.."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Nurse: "Zayd you speak Urdu right?" Me: "I- N: "This lady needs a wee. Can you explain to her that I need another nurse so we can help her" Me: "Woh ek aurik nurse ku lariye phir hum sub bishaab karenge. (She's gonna get another nurse and then we'll all wee together.)" Why me?

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

F1: "Zayd, the patient in A3 is NEWS 9 and deteriorating! What should I do?" Me *calm*: "OK don't worry, let's just escalate to the senior." *Silence* Me: "The phone's over there." F1: "But you're my senior." Me: "Ah." *Silence* F1: "Zayd-" Me *panicked*: "GIVE ME A SECOND OK?"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

*Having coffee with consultant" C: "The other day I overheard my daughter is talking about her profile on something called "OnlyFans." Me: *almost spits out my coffee* C: "What? What is it?" Me: "Nothing! It was just too hot" *Silence* Me: "The coffee! The coffee was too hot."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

*Ward Kitchen* Me: "Excuse me-" Support Worker: "No, sorry, I don't make hot drinks for doctors." Me: "OK, but-" SW: "And I don't wash doctors mugs either. And I'm sorry but I'm not going to clean the doctors office." Me: "...I just need a glass to get a patient some water."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Reg *on phone*: "Hello?" Me: *quiet voice*: "I need your help." Reg: "Zayd? You ok?" Me: "I'm fine don't freak out, I just need your discretion." Reg: "Do you need me to call security?" Me: "No! 100% no" Reg: "Zayd, whats-" Me: "I'm stuck in the toilet." Reg:*hysterical laughter*

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Cons: "This patient only speaks Arabic so we can't consent him. Unless Zayd can translate?" Me: "Sorry, I don't speak Arabic." Cons: "What!? But you're Asian-" Me: "It's a different continent! You're lucky Geography isn't a requirement for-" *Cons glares at me* Me: "I'm sorry."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Me: "Right so we need to reduce this kid's fluid rate by 50%, he's currently on 50mls/hour so.." *I pull out my phone to calculate* Med student: "Do you really need a calculator for that!?" Me *triggered* "Do I really have to sign your attendance sheet?" *Silence* Me: "Exactly."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Cons: "Can you prescribe an iron infusion please?" Me: "Sure, what should I prescribe and how much?" Cons: "Urgh, what's the point in having you then? I may as well have no junior. Useless." Me: "OK, should I go and help AMU instead?" Cons *panicking* : "No no, I'll show you, dw"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

So it turns out in certain organisations (such as the NHS), it's considered unprofessional to show up to work in fancy dress, even if it's Halloween. Wish somebody had told me that before I turned up for the ward round this morning dressed as Spiderman.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

Me" "Hi! I've managed to get a cannula into that patient, so dw." Dr: "Thanks! Did you remember to flush?" Me: "Erm I don't think I've used the toilet here so" Dr: "What!? No you idiot did you flush the cannula?" I've absolutely destroyed the memory of my first solo cannula.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*Me, showing an MRI scan to a consultant* Dr: "Oh wow! That tumour regressing faster than your hairline!" Me: *stunned silence* Dr: "Anyway the scan is fine, let me know if you have any other concerns.* Me: "Well now I'm concerned about my hairline." Dr: "I can't help you there.*

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Reg: "So, last month of working in surgery! You gonna miss it?" Me *flashback*: "Would you mind telling me why we're requesting a CT abdomen for this man?" Consultant: "I don't have to tell you everything! I don't have to tell you anything!" Me *present day*: "Nah, not really."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Me: "So this patient has low sodium and they're hearing voices, I'm going to bleep the med reg." Surgical Reg *triggered*: "I know I'm a surgeon but I know stuff too! Why don't you just ask me to have a look?" Me: "um, ok" Surg *has a look*: "OK, I have no idea what's going on."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

1 year

GP: *rushes in* "What's happened!? Are you ok!?" Me: *confused*: "Are you my next appointment?" GP: "You hit the panic button on your computer." Me: "The red siren button? I thought that's how you call the patient in on the little notice board?" *Silence* GP: "...it's not."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Me: "So whereabouts does it hurt?" Kid: "My head, my shoulders, knees..." Me: "And toes?" K: "And toes, yes." Me: "How long have they been hurting for?" K: "10 years." Me: "And how old are you?" K: "6" Me: "I see." Anyone got any ideas about a diagnosis here? I have no clue.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Also all these replies are very sweet but you're all seriously overestimating my piano ability. One does not play "Greensleeves" in public unless one cannot play many other songs

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*Me before OSCE station 1*: "OK Zayd let's start strong and get this over with, no mistakes." *I walk in* Me: "Hi my name is Zayd, I'm one of the junior doctors, can I just confirm my name and date of birth before we begin?" Patient: "...what?" *Examiner laughs* Me: "Oh crap."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

@zennykauser I panicked ok, I forgot the word for sugar. I followed it up by asking is his blood was "thoda Mitta aur zyada mitta" and she's like "are you asking how sweet my blood is?"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Today there was an excess of keen 3rd years on the ward so I got them to do all the discharge letters and boring paperwork that the Dr had asked me to do, while I sat back and read "10 things you didn't know about Tom Cruise" online. Is this what being a consultant is like?

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

One of the most important lessons we're taught at medschool is that the definition of pain is "whatever the patient says it is." If Meghan Markle says she was feeling suicidal, she was feeling suicidal. There really shouldn't be any debate or argument over her reasons/motive.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

9 months

GP: "Everyone, this is Zayd. He's our new GP registrar-" Me *laughing*: "No, no I'm just the GP trainee!" GP: "All GP trainees are called registrars." Me: "Can we settle on "GP SHO" instead?" GP: "Why?" Me: "Because it's terrifying to be called a registrar." *silence* GP: "No."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

The crash call goes out. I rush to the bed, eager to put all the skills I've learnt over the past month into action. "Dw guys, the FY1 Dr has arrived!" I shout. "How can I help? Is there a form to fill? Paperwork to do? Do I need to call labs? Does anyone need a hot drink!?"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Lesson for new F1s- you'll be doing a lot of the menial stuff, staying late and getting little to no respect for doing so. But nobody gets to be rude to you, no matter how senior or stressed they are. Have a thick skin, but call out unprofessionalism whenever you can.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

*Trying to reassure patient* Me: "I know you're afraid, but the Dr looking after you has a plan." P: "..." Me: "Unfortunately I don't know what that plan is because I can't read their handwriting." P: "..." Me: "But there is a Dr in this hospital who has a plan for you." P: "..."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

At this point, it had been a long night shift and I probably would have appreciated the company even if I didn't speak English. I didn't realise social interactions and politeness only applies to people who speak English.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*She was 21 not 20. She was also supposed to be getting married that summer. May Allah grant her jannat Al firdous insha'Allah.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

*Walks into equipment room and sees nurse crying* Me: "Are you ok?" N: *continues crying* My brain: "OK you're not very good at this stuff, quickly deflect with a joke to cheer her up." Me: "Can't find the cotton wool huh? I get you." N: *angrily* "What!?" My brain: "Nailed it."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

@HansAKANash I get you. I think for me, it felt as if this individual made an assumption about my English skills based on the colour of my skin. And if this was an isolated incident it wouldn't annoy me so much, but unfortunately it isn't.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

March 2021- Told that I'd passed my all final exams. May 2021- Told a consultant was worried that I'd gotten left and right mixed up so I would have to sit an additional exam. July 2021- Told I've passed this exam and can now graduate as planned. Dr Zayd confirmed- Alhumdulilah!

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

*Examining mock resp exams" Medstudent: "So I'm just going to have a look at this sputum pot." Me: "What?" MS: " Sputum dark in colour, strong aroma, possibly blood stained? Chest X ray needed." Me: "One problem." MS: "What?" Me: "That's coffee. You're looking in my coffee cup."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

4 years

Dr: *genuine curiosity.*: "How does being a Muslim influence your medical practice?" Me *completely misinterpreting mood*: "Well when I'm doing a cannula and I can't feel a vein, I just insert my needle in the direction of Mecca." Dr: *disappointed sigh* Me: "Im sorry"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

8 months

*Treating a child* Me: "Can I just check your temperature?" Patient: "No! Shut up Dr Poopypants!" Me: "Kid, you have food poisoning so you're the one with the Poopypants." *15 mins later* Senior GP: "We generally try to avoid antagonising our patients" Me: "I said nothing wrong."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

*Reg reading my plan* Reg: "Bloods on Monday, Take for CT scan on Tuesday, She'll be nil by mouth by Wednesday, OP Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Home by Sunday." Me: *silence* Reg: "I really want to be angry at you, but tbh I love this song."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Patient: "I feel tired all the time. Is there anything I can take?" Me *joking*: "I'll prescribe you some coffee" P: "Really? That'd be lovely!" Me: "Um I-" P in next bed: "Me too please!" *A few mins later* Nurse: "Why are you holding so many cups of coffee?" Me: "I'm thirsty."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

1 year

MedStudent: "So I've seen this pt who's having episodes of shaking and I think she's having seizures" Me: "OK" MS: "She's apyrexial so not rigors, obs are all fine and she's conscious. She just feels cold." Me: "Is she shivering?" MS: 😶 Me: "Maybe she needs a blanket?" MS: 😶

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Zayd

2 years

Surgical Reg: "I've got some jobs for you" Me *reaching for my job list* "OK let me just write-* *The reg fires jobs at me* Me *jobs list stuck in pocket*: "Wait! I haven't- Reg: "OK that's everything! Bye!" *Reg walks off* Nurse: "That was like watching a drive-by shooting."

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Reg: "I've been told to ask you about what happened with the lady in B3" Me: "Oh fgs it really wasn't a big deal." R: "What? I won't laugh, promise!" Me: "I can't be the first doctor to ever accidentally insert a urinary catheter into a patient's anus" *Reg bursts out laughing*

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Reg: "If you want your request done first, you need to call radiology and explain the request as a rhyme." Me: "Are you sure? Reg: "Trust me!" Me: "OK." Me *on phone*: "Hi, do you mind if we drop the rhyming, cos honestly I don't quite have the timing-" *Reg bursts out laughing*

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Zayd

2 years

*Doing prostate exam* Dr: "What are you doing?" Me: "I'm putting 2 pairs of gloves on?" Dr: "Maybe thats how surgeons do it, but you're on medicine now." Me: "1 pair of gloves?" Dr: "How are you going to feel anything?" Me: "...no gloves?" Dr: "Yes" *Silence* Dr: "Just kidding!"

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@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

There's a baby on our ward who hasn't got a name yet, so I've been going above and beyond for Mum and baby in the hope that Mum will name the baby "Zayd". This morning, Mum told me she was naming her baby after Nelson Mandela but she wanted me to know first. I am devastated.

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Zayd

2 years

Me: "We have some blood left over from that patient, do you want any extra tests? Reg: "Why? We have what we need" Me: "I tried returning it to the patient but he doesn't do refunds" Reg: *..." Me: "there's a recession out there-" Reg: "You're a wordy little bastard aren't you?

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Zayd

4 years

Idk whether I'm making a big deal out of this but I'm annoyed. A name is a huge part of someone's identity and if you genuinely want a respectful/personal relationship with someone, take the time to learn how to pronounce their name properly.

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Zayd

2 years

Me: "You've not passed much urine today, I think we need to consider a catheter." Patient: "No! Please, I'll try harder!" Me: "I know it's hard but the scan shows your bladder is full-" Pt: "Nooo!!" Pt: *accidentally pees all over my shoes* Me: "Well, it appears I was mistaken."

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Zayd

2 years

Me: "I haven't been able to cannulate bed 3, would you-" Reg: "Really Zayd? Another one?" Me: "It's just that you're so good at them and I'm just so impressed!" Reg: "So your tactic is to compliment me and hope it works?" *Silence* Reg: "Well you bastard, it's worked. Let's go."

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Zayd

2 years

To all the incoming F1s reading this and having a panic attack, I'll say two simple things: 1. ABCDE= Get out of jail free. 2. There's always a guideline.

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Dr: "When you send those bloods to the lab, make sure you send a sample of your own blood too as a control." Me: "Huh?" *Dr laughs, I laugh* Dr: "10mls of your blood should be enough." Me: "Wait, seriously?" Dr: "Yes." I have now literally put my blood and tears into medicine.

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Zayd

4 years

Dr: "Zayd did you just send that patient's blood to the labs?" Me: "Yes" Dr: "But the tubes weren't labelled. The blood form is here too." Me: "Oh dear" Dr: "So the lab is about to get 3 bottles of blood with no name and no idea where they came from?" Me: "Yes" Dr: *deep sigh*

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@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Dr: "So Zayd, this is your last day." Me: "Yes! Thanks s-" Dr: "Out of all the medical students I've ever taught, you have been just OK" Me: "Oh" Dr" "Your knowledge is ok, your competency is ok* Me: *silence* Dr: "Did you need anything else?" I hate these emotional goodbyes! 😭

9

3

165

@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

What I said: "Hey med student, why don't you have a go at interpreting this ECG? It'll be good exam practice." What I meant: "Take a look at this ECG and tell me if the patient is having a heart attack because it just looks like a wiggly line and I am FREAKING OUT."

1

8

162

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

For me, the most chilling thing about the Muhammed Anwar video is the person videoing. A man is being carjacked and murdered in front of your eyes and rather than do anything to help or call the police, you record it all and upload it to social media for "views". It's madness.

7

22

158

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

"Wait!" I shout to the nurse who's angrily walking away "I was only joking!" "I don't have time for this!" she replied "I have to go marinade bed 5 in his IV fluids!"

2

1

163

@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Me: "Can you put me through to the anaesthetist?" Switchboard: "I can connect you to the gynae consultant instead?" Me: "... what?" S: "Hold the line please" Me: "What!? Don't-" Cons: "Hi I'm the gynae consultant, how can I help?" Me: "You can't, I'm so sorry-" *Cons hangs up.*

9

5

172

@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

In an attempt to be "mega organised" for 2022, I marked all my day offs on my Google calendar but I forgot to turn the notifications off. As a result, my phone woke me at 6am this morning to inform me that I have a day off today. This is why I hate technology.

2

1

166

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Helped out today with the CPR training. Some of the kids said they'd never heard the song "Stayin' Alive": Dr: "Zayd why don't you sing it for them?" Me *excitedly* "OH YOU CAN TELL BY-" Dr "OK Zayd, just the CPR relevant bit please" Me: *depressed* "Ah, ah ah stayin alive.."

8

2

155

@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Nurse 1: "I walked into the room and the patient was having sex!" Nurse 2: "What did you do!?" Me *being nosy*: "Turn the lights down low? Light a candle?" *Silence* Me: "Play some music? Offer a condom?" *Silence* Me: "Hi I'm Zayd, I'm the new F1 dr!" *Silence* Me: "I'm sorry."

6

0

157

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Dr: *on phone* "Do we need more staff on this ward? No I think we're ok, Zayd and I are both here so between the two of us, there's about 1.5 doctors on here." Me *laughing*: "Hahaha because I'm short right?" *Dr stays silent* Me: *holding back tears*: "Right??"

2

4

154

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Nurse on phone: "Zayd can you come down to ward 9 to do a cannula? Me: "OK, on one condition. I want Bonnie Tyler's "I Need a Hero" playing on the speakers as I walk in" N: "Let me ask" Me: Wait I'm jok-" N: "Speakers are set up, whenever you're ready" Me *nervous* "..OK" 😓

5

9

152

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Tweet card media

Mother of shot Gaza medic: ‘She thought the white coat would protect her’

Volunteer medics fear white-coat strategy is not working after death of Razan al-Najjar

www.theguardian.com

1

28

142

@jaydbint

Zayd

1 year

*Seeing patient and her young baby* Patient: "Hi! Are you the baby doctor?" Me: *laughs*: "Well I guess I've only been a doctor for 1.5 years but I prefer the term "Foundation Year 2 Dr". P: *confused* Me: "Oh. You meant am I the paediatrician huh?" P: "Yes" Me: "I see."

1

7

157

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

So alhumdulilah somehow I have managed to pass the PSA! The fact that I passed by a grand total of 2% and I managed to get 2/16 in the calculation section makes this W even sweeter. I've cemented my reputation as a barely competent medic as long as you don't ask me about numbers

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

So it turned out to be just as hard as the mocks! At this rate I'd prescribe myself some anti-depressants but I can't because I think I've failed the exam that I needed to pass to prescribe meds.

1

3

59

9

1

144

@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Mum: "Every day I get a phone call from school saying I need to bring my son home because he has a headache but when he gets home, the headache disappears." Me: "OK" Mum: "And this is happening every school day. What do you think is going on?" Me: "Well-" Nurse: "He's faking it."

10

2

143

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Dr: "My wife's having a bad day and wants me to call her, would you mind?" *Dr points to table with his phone and bleep on it* Me: "Um I guess I can talk to her, I don't really know what I'd say-" Dr *laughing*: "What? No! Can you watch the bleep while I call her?" Me: "Oh." 😶

1

3

137

@jaydbint

Zayd

2 years

Before this starts an argument, I know full well that there are doctors that behave this way with other clinical staff. My only point here is that the NHS is already being screwed enough by external forces without NHS staff trying to screw each other.

2

2

135

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*At Costa* Dr: "You want anything?" My brain: "Ok I had a coffee this morning but then my boss is buying so it's free. Wait is it free? She has her card out but that could be for her drink? Ok she's staring at you so say something SAY SOMETHING!" Me: "Can I get a filet o fish?"

4

0

134

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

So alhumdulilah thankfully I did manage to pass my final medical exams! Just have to pass the PSA before I can be unleashed to cause mischief and mayhem at a hospital near you insha'Allah! Thanks to all of you for keeping me in your prayers!

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Me: "So I just finished my final medical exams and I've got a couple of days off till I go back to placement." Friend: "Oh awesome! Congrats! You got any plans now that you're finally free?" Me: "Yeah I'm gonna start revising for the resit." Medschool has crushed my optimism.

1

10

100

14

4

129

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Me this morning: "I'm so nervous for our job allocations today" Friend: "Hahaha good one" Me: "That's a weird reaction." Friend: "Zayd the allocations have been out for 7 hours now" Me: "...what?" Alhumdulilah got my 1st choice allocation! Hope they went well for you all too!

5

0

117

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Having a weird amount of people criticising me in the DMs about this tweet because I was speaking about a senior. I know I'm only a junior, but I don't think years of experience and knowledge give you the right to be rude. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

*Consultant shouting at me* Con: *WHY DID YOU SEND THE PATIENT HOME WITH THESE MEDS?" Me: "I apologize, I was just following your plan in the notes" Con: "DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT I CHANGED MY MIND!?" Me: "Did you write that in the notes?" *Consultant glares at me* Me: "Oh crap"

32

15

645

6

6

125

@jaydbint

Zayd

3 years

Surgeon: "Zayd, now that you're almost a doctor, why don't you get scrubbed up and help me out?" Me: "Really? Awesome" *I scrub* S: "Ok you see his bellybutton?" Me "Yes?" S: "I need you to clean it out." Me: *silence* S: "Hahaha" Me: "Hahaha" S: "I'm not kidding, clean it."

1

0

129