michelle hannah @itsmichellehann Twitter profile

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michelle hannah

4 years

sometimes I think I pass as a pretty normal person (by that i mean, a public schooler) and then I go to the library and check out 18 books at a time

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 months

maybe this is a cancellable thing to say but do . . . none of you all know how much a normal amount of caffeine is to consume??? like . . . do you not check before you drink anything with caffeine????? you just . . . drink caffeinated drinks without checking?????

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

8 months

in Trader Joe’s and I overheard this girl going to her bf “I don’t like you anymore, we’re breaking up because I know my worth and I deserve a man who wants me to be happy” and him, carrying all her stuff going “I want you to be happy but why is being happy so expensive”

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

5 years

*First Day of November* No one: Literally no one: ALL OF BOOKSTAGRAM, chanting: "It is the first day of November and so, today, someone will die" ~ @mstiefvater

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

@SketchesbyBoze the way twitter showed it to me, I thought that Alfred was the first penguin, who lived to be 110 and knit sweaters for the other penguins

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

@nathanharenice it's just like a regular target except there are chairs in all the aisles

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

@TraceeM @WheatNOil I'm actually studying a universal flu vaccine right now and a mRNA vaccine is what a lot of people are trying to develop right now! So far it hasn't been successful yet because, as OP said, they mutate super fast. But hopefully this new method of making vaccines will change that!

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 months

@seaglummm @theoocrosses the tweet is not regarding the Panera lemonade specifically; I was asking because I’ve seen many people seeming oblivious to the amount of caffeine—a drug—they ingest without knowing the dosage, and I was surprised by the number. Not victim blaming, just curious.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

5 years

good morning to everyone except the guy yesterday who rolled down his window at me and almost started cat-calling me, and an extra good morning to his friend in the driver's seat who swung his arm over his friend's chest and said "shut up, nobody likes you"

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

8 months

@lurioosi try pondering words a little harder and read the subtext of this tweet <3

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 months

@DauntlessDevils not arguing, just curious! do you hold the same opinion for people who have food allergies?

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

8 months

@lurioosi a) where did I say she was demanding b) where did I say she was trying to be attractive c) did you miss where I said he was carrying ALL her stuff, implying he is on board and they were just playing around with each other d) we're all adults here, thus the grocery shopping

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

ya ever wanna type lmao but remember that the person on the other end is a sheltered christian homeschool person and then change it to lol bc me too

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

7 years

Answer for when a public schooler asks how you make friends as a homeschooler: Oh, are you having problems making friends in public school?

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

absolutely BIZARRE and INCREDIBLE that as an adult i can just??? buy???? anything I want?? in the grocery store??? like i can see something i want and just ??? get it??? like sure i have to pay money for it and that sucks but I can just ?? get whatever I want?

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

@The_Pengwen_ @ColIegeStudent @brookielizabeth And this one

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

7 years

How I drink tea: -Drink it all at once, burning tongue in process -Leave it sitting there for 6 days There is no in between.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

"vaCciNeS aRe oNlY 95% aCtiVe" well guess what. world war ii blackouts were 100% effective because EVERYONE DID it. can u imagine being like "mm actually it's My Right to have light coming out of my windows because there's only a 5% chance that I get bombed" insane behavior.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

some of y'all have not met child 13 of a homeschooling family and it shows

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

It's balloon day, and I'm showing y'all my face to celebrate Alt caption: there's really nothing like "welcome to your 20s" like waking up with your period huh 💀💀

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

8 months

@jenneccentric now how was he going to be free when he was carrying her purse, her tote bag, and her shopping basket? one ounce of critical thinking please!

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

the core of the human experience is being filled with bread and stories

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

my state decided today would be a good day to drop into the 60s and I'm wearing leggings for the first time this fall and I'm just??? so excited for fall??? It's such a good day??? 🥺

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

well i'm now 18 and that's wild also i have the best friends in the world also i went out today with all of my friends except Him™️ and it was the rudest thing i've ever done in my life

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

have you ever been in love with a white man do you want me to describe it to you my boyfriend kept talking about his favorite lunch--a homemade roast beef sandwich--and how incredible it was, then he made it for me once it was 3 slices of roast beef between 2 slices of toast 💀

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

my boyfriend's roommate sent me this and it is a personal

the dizzy dancin way u feel

@lilacnonsense

3 years

‘You’re hyperactive? You must get so much done!’ No, I don’t get anything done. I’m just fast😎

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

things the Internet needs- - a recipe website but goodreads style - instagram DMs on desktop - twitter but it takes tweetable stuff from my brain and saves them directly to my drafts

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

me pre-quarantine: "imagine being a christian girl graduating and then immediately getting married simply could NOT be ME" me now: "all I wanna do is ʰᵒˡᵈ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒⁿᵉ'ˢ ʰᵃⁿᵈ and ᵇᵉ ᵏᶦˢˢᵉᵈ and ᵇᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳᵉᵛᵉʳ is that SO MUCH TO ASK"

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

today i put on a cardigan straight out of the dryer and a s c e n d e d it was next level

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

Am I a Bad Photographer or Does the Instagram Algorithm Hate Me: an Autobiography

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

1 year

had a taylor themed wedding & it was everything I wanted (in case you don’t follow me on instagram lol)

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

7 years

Pinterest normally: *memes, aesthetics, bullet journal* Pinterest when I'm hungry: *macaroni and cheese, fudge brownies, diy tacos*

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i had an idea for a tweet last night but then forgot it anyways, since i've last tweeted I: -moved out of my parents' -moved into my apartment -walked more steps in one day than i have since march -realized that all the food i've brought to my apartment is just coffee supplies

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

everyday I wake up and I pour myself my silly little cup of coffee and check my silly little email and refresh my silly little USPS tracking page

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

GUYS GUYS I GOT AN A IN CALCULUS 🙌🙌🙌

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

7 years

Hi I did an art thing (and may have confused 147 with 174 in the process)

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

my TA (whose first language is not english) just accidentally referred to a "brain fart" as a "mental breakdown": he did a problem wrong and said "whoops I just had a mental breakdown" and honestly, what a MOOD

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

My phone: *has no notifications* Me: *checks it 83 times just in case* My phone: *has an notification* Me: *ignores it for 47 years*

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

picking an alarm is weird because it's like which of these pleasant little jingles do I want to have a visceral response to for the rest of my life?

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

sent two Important Emails today. I will now be taking the rest of the week off for personal reasons.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

my favorite part of being an ex-homeschooler really is just seeing which of my homeschooled acquaintances became Radicalized and which of them became Trump supporters by looking at the infographics they repost on Instagram stories

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

every so often I remember that when I was ~7, I overheard my mom saying that my baby brother was an accident & proceeded to tell it to EVERYONE bc I thought I was grown up people would b like 'your brother is so cute!!' and I would b like 'thanks!! He was an accident!!' AT AGE 7

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

university: *decides to switch to online school instead of having in-person classes* everyone: *freaking out* me, having been homeschooled though high school:

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i would like to personally congratulate nevada on counting from 75% to 76%

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

@MortyCrypto @jacyrayn

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

5 years

stripping the bed: 🙃 doing laundry:🙃 folding the sheets:🙃 putting sheets back on the bed:🙃 getting into bed with fresh sheets🙂

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

5 years

guess which idiot is all of NINETEEN YEARS OLD and just bent over and smashed their lip and tooth into the bedpost because they FORGOT THEIR FACE EXISTED so is now icing their lip that's dripping blood from both sides rather than packing for thanksgiving? it's me. i'm idiot.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

why are christians like this i'm not angry i just want to talk

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i am out of vegetable oil so today i fried my egg in butter and . . . it's a life changer??? it is so good? and it smells so good? i might never go back.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

you DON'T obsessively think about the packages that you ordered? what's that like

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

8 months

@lurioosi most of the people here are incel bots! hope this helped <3

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

shoutout to the girl next to me in class who's reading an article titled '5 signs that you're going through burnout'

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

guess who got an adhd diagnosis! spoiler alert: it's me

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

I love when Mozart releases music from the grave

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

Are non-ace people actually feeling sexual tension everywhere or is this just twitter sexualizing everything or am I very ace??

BARK𓆗 XØ

@DTBFRANKIER0

4 years

the sexual tension between u n the person whos zipping ur backpack closed bc u accidentally left it open

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

if you were wondering how adulting is going, I am going grocery shopping again today, because as it turns out, chocolate covered pretzels, one bag of potatoes, and one box of cereal will not last me a week #HanneFiguresOutAdulting #HanneVSAdulting

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

hello i have been quite absent on twitter lately but life is very very good i have brownies in the oven & my boyfriend and i made this gorgeous pizza yesterday also i wanna know: what is your One Thing that you always get at the grocery store? I'm going shopping tomorrow!

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

now that my name is out here, I get to tell all of you that my partner's name is mitchell—basically the same name as me—and now you get to appreciate that also that was one of the reasons I swore we would never date for 3 months before we dated but here we are I guess

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

How to Write College Essays, a Foolproof Guide: -Don't -It's a trick -Leave immediately -Go live in the mountains somewhere and be a goatherd

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

hello i just went through and got rid of all the people i don't want to follow . . . and there were a lot :/ now!! tell me people I should follow!! things I like- -coffee -books -blogging -jesus -making time to do the things you love -biology/weird science things

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

good morning today I woke up from a dead sleep panicking because what if my (undecided) wedding date next year coincides with taylor swift's tour??? there's a 1/365 chance that I'm going to have to miss my own wedding?????

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

i can't believe people get engaged after less than 20 months, like when u know u know but like . . . mitchell & i have been together for almost 4 years and just now talking about marriage???? how do you get to know someone to the point of marriage in 7 months?????

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

modern christianity is having me want to nail up 95 theses on the front door of whoever's in charge because we are, once again, missing the point

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

how did i manage to surprise myself with liking true crime when literally all i read ages 5-15 was boxcar children and nancy drew/the hardy boys you would THINK i am a little bit more self aware but nope

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

7 years

I literally suck so much at aesthetics, but if you want an aesthetic, like this tweet! If I don't follow you, reply with two "you" things. 😊

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

get u a man that plans for the future with you 😍🙌

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i rly wanna start practicing minimalism but unfortunately i continue to want things. ya feel me

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

@imasarah6 @ItsJustHedy source: wikipedia, as if Hedy doesn't have active socials or anything idk

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

5 years

me, looking at my boyfriend slicing his brownie horizontally: "whaT are yoU doING?" him, in jest: "I don't know, what are YOU doing?" me: "THIS IS ABOUT YOU" me: "although to be fair, I'm stirring my tea with the back end of a fork right now"

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

me before checking twitter: 😍✨💛😊🙌😄✨ me after checking twitter: 😐😑😭😶🤮🤔😐👀 SO TELL ME WHY I'M STILL ON THIS SITE

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

hello friends!!! icymi, this has been life for the past 30 or so hours & it has been incredible 🤩 we're doing an internet friends q+a video so if you have questions to ask, feel free to do so!

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

@kerenswan Besides!! Jackson's tattoo was when he turned 2, so there's still time for Landon when he turns 2 and it still matches!

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

GUYS IM @ COLLEGE ORIENTATION RN AND AM LIVING IN A DORM WITH A ROOMMATE I MET JUST TODAY CAN'T SEEM TO STOP GROWING UP HELP

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

So um one of my friends just announced her engagement????! And she's only a year or two older than me??? WHEN DID I GET OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE ENGAGED FRIENDS??

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

i really don't understand christians who don't believe in science. like God LITERALLY designed this whole universe with all its intricacies that all serve a purpose and fit together SO WELL and some of y'all really are like

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

college is really just a game of "how many things can i write down despite not comprehending even one word of what it is" huh

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i got my package from a small business today and 🥺🥺🥺it was packaged so cute??? they included a lil sticker from their shop and a little lollipop??? 🥺🥺🥺 i LOVE small businesses

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

did y'all have a period in your life where you thought that having sarcasm was a personality trait or was i very homeschooled also can we all collectively agree to forget that time please and thank u

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

my mental health status and how much I post on social media are directly correlated & somehow it's that the better it is, the more I post which doesn't make very much sense but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it be like that

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

me: *has not cheated, nor come anywhere close to cheating on homework* also me when the professor sends out an email saying people have been caught cheating: "oh no what if i accidentally cheated"

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

one thing about me is I will NEVER be posting about my sex life as publicly and as frequently as conservative Christians trying to conceive

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

If I've been slightly quiet recently, this is why #classof2018

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

this morning my roommate checked the mail and brought up several letters for me and immediately i was transformed into a Lady in the regency era who allotted the whole morning to responding to correspondence

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

honestly so rude of my boyfriend to continue to be a thoughtful and caring man who isn't 10 years older than me and who isn't casually cruel in the name of being honest on this perfectly good fall afternoon

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

Hi Twitter You've heard me talk a lot about Him™️and stuff Well can you pray for us now Feelings are involved And it doesn't feel good My heart hurts For myself and for him Thanks💕

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

8 months

@jenneccentric they were both laughing and having fun with each other! like couples who like each other do when they are joking around with each other! so no, I don't think that he should have done that!

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i think i . . . was just the first order from someone's etsy shop???🥺i've been following the owner on insta and tbh didn't know she had a shop, but she posted about black friday & her stuff was perfect for a gift, so I snagged one 1/2

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

hello i feel soft and aestheticy so, respond to this tweet with an emoji and i'll say what my aesthetic of u is (i'll do my best but i can't promise i can't get to everyone/provide everyone with a good one lol)

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

just called the university health center to book an consultation bc I think I have adhd & the lady listed the appointment times she had and i IMMEDIATELY forgot what the times were as soon as she finished and had to have her repeat the list so uh here's to hoping i get diagnosed?

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

5 years

every so often I remember that my parents like joel osteen and die a little inside

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

4 years

i'm sorting out & revamping my spotify and lemme just tell you my music taste might be terrible now, but it was TERRIBLE when i was in high school

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

My youth group leaders, who've walked through infertility for 9 years, just had their baby. My heart is so full. 😭💕 Now the question is, WHAT GENDER IS IT.

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

"obsessed with the Romanov sisters and Amelia Earhart"

Georgia Shenk

@GeorgiaShenk

2 years

I was not a horse girl or a dolphin girl, I was a “obsessed with the triangle shirtwaist factory and titanic” girl

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

11 months

No bc I was 16 in community college taking chemistry and my lab partner was the lady on America's Got Talent whose chicken played the piano

internet hall of fame

@InternetH0F

11 months

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

Actual Names I Have For My College App Essays: -collaboration, whatever that is -what I want to do with my life, presumably -i'M a ShElTeReD hOmEsChOoLeR oKaY -pffft at this point I possess no creativity -ILIKESCIENCESHUTUPGOAWAY -me has talents. accept me. -i swear i have a life

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

because what better time to put your legal name on twitter dot com than during an active job search

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

3 years

thinking about the time when on our way to the gym, my boyfriend and I found a big leaf, so I brought it with me. After we worked out, we couldn't get into our locker and had to have a worker come and open it for us. 1/2

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

6 years

just wanted to let you know so I'm @ college, eating dinner with (public schooled, nonwriter) friends, and they start talking about how impressive writers are and how much time and art and thought they pour into their craft

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

honestly i think the perfect representation of who i am is the fact that i'm triple vaxxed and taking tylenol, but also taking shots of elderberry syrup and rubbing thieves and lemon essential oil on my feet

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michelle hannah

@itsmichellehann

2 years

@doddleoddle @jacksfilms the crossover we didn't know we needed

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