richie owens @iamRichieOwens Twitter profile

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

8 years

So proud of my mom! I just found out she won something called the "diva cup"!

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Last Seen Profiles

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Bart Simpson: “Eat my shorts” Parents in the 90s: “This is...the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

9 months

Happy new year

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Gonna tweet “it’s giving thanks” on Thanksgiving

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 months

It's simple.

President Biden

@POTUS

5 months

It's simple.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

Succession: “187 per share. 50/50 cash stock.” Me, not knowing what that means: “Holy fucking shit”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

“If Olivia Rodrigo was around when I was in high school...” She was around when you were in high school! She was a baby. You just didn’t care enough to get to know her.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

Martin Scorcese started crying when Chaz Ebert (Roger Ebert’s wife) started talking 😭

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

I had a feeling this was the case

The New York Times

@nytimes

4 years

The 1959 movie “Ben-Hur” runs some three-and-a-half hours long. A Cuvier’s beaked whale could watch the entire film underwater, never taking a gulp of air, with time to spare.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

I can’t wait to hand out these babies now that the weather is nice

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

Saw the name Imogen Poots and thought “well that has to be a stage name, right?” and then I looked it up

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Today it’s important to remember the time my mom, in a trivia game, was asked for the record amount of hot dogs eaten in 10 minutes. She guessed 5,000.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Going to an improv show and giving the suggestion “covid-19”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Yeah, I’m Poly. Poly gonna be faithful to my wife as long as she lives

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Brad Pitt hearing “That Dont Impress Me Much” for the first time

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Ummmm, I just got my dream job!

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I just heard a rumor that, before every take, Daniel Day-Lewis will shout out “let’s Daniel Day Do This.”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

I love Chicago, but some days I just really wish there was an obnoxiously large Robin Williams mural here. Specifically one that highlights his role in Aladdin

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Is it just me or is this McDonalds voice over guy really out of breathe?

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Instead of removing Trump from Home Alone 2 they added a weird guy warning Kevin not to talk to him

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

@thewaitisogre 100% he went to the Caribbean in his bloody suit and had to get a shirt from Walmart on the island so that he could change

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

Time to reveal that I literally wrote a whole pamphlet for this tweet

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Owen Wilson with the signature of somebody who just learned how to write

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 months

What are the chances that he’d be born and die in those places?!?

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Happy Matrix Day

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

11 months

@camerobradford TBT to when I made a climate pledge sign but my friends had more of a free Palestine vibe

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Ah yes! The 4 year anniversary of the time a stranger took a picture of me reading Lolita on the train and it made its way back to me.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Some people are responding to this tweet like “oh, I’m just supposed to befriend a baby?!?”.... This is why y’all will never get ahead in life

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Truly cannot wrap my head around what this guy says and the fact that the Safdie’s understood it just fine

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

Love that the picture they’re using for Seinfeld looks like one of your parents’s friends who adds you on LinkedIn

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Sea Shanty TikTok is incredible 😍

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I asked my 14 year old brother who his girlfriend was and he said “eh, you don’t know her.”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

How it started How it ended

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Think about this a lot

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 months

@silk_blanket I hope that this is the tweet that gets me killed

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 months

Crapppp I forgot that every woman I know has a dad who’s sick with bone stuff

richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 months

Texting every woman in my phone “new Taylor 👀” and just seeing what happens

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

11 months

A couple of years ago, some friends and I set up a time lapse camera to drive up a mountain in LA, only to very quickly find out that it was a private road

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

10 months

@dominicknero Oh so I guess it’s not a crime if a short Italian man jumps on your head and shouts “woohoo”????? This game makes me sick

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

lmao a wrestling match advertised the ring was going to explode after 30 minutes and this is it

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 months

Times that we wished Homer would cheat on Marge and divorce her A thread:

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

@SorryMomDotGov Same energy

richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I asked my 14 year old brother who his girlfriend was and he said “eh, you don’t know her.”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

@alanfgiles When I saw Hamilton in Chicago I heard a guy ask why they didn’t change the “the greatest city in the world” line from New York to Chicago. Was that you??

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

Got the basketball jersey of my dreams

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

8 months

Hi we are The Tortured Poets Department and all we need from you to get started is a suggestion of anything at all

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

A couple of years ago I would write fake atheism quotes, attribute them to Mo Rocca, and post them on the atheism subreddit with titles like “Mo Rocca is such a boss”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

FYI that translates to 8.3333 hot dogs a second

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

A lot of people are wishing me harm because of this tweet, and I just want to say: this pamphlet is serious, I’m actually gonna hand them out, and I just started a podcast and you can subscribe here

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

I’ve got a Kia Soul but I’m not a Kia Soldier

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

“Okay which headline should we go with?”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Me walking home after buying way too many groceries

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Feel like not enough people know that Megan took an improv class with Chasten

Meg Stalter

@megstalter

5 years

I noticed my old friend from improv class had this huge following and I was like "He must have become big singer" THEN I realized he was married to @PeteButtigieg and I'm insane. Now I'm here to expose @Chas10Buttigieg as being the only funny person in improv class in 2014 honey

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Imagine getting played off during your award acceptance speech knowing that they let Eminem do a full performance of a song from a movie he was in 18 years ago

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

@notgisselle7 I would, if the USPS could be trusted

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Had the realization that if I died my work slack would look like this

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I knew this day would come. In 2002 I starred in a Disney Channel Original movie. It only aired once. In reviews, every critic (independently of each other, I might add) said they “couldn’t stand looking at [my] shitty little face.”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 months

Watching a documentary about computer graphics from the 80s

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

This is how I sound when I’m using the bathroom and somebody knocks on the door

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

@hello__caitlin I actually know somebody who was almost kidnapped on a run because they were about go into a tunnel, but they realized at the last second that somebody had just painted the tunnel on a brick wall. Scary stuff. Glad you’re safe

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I took the Pottermore quiz and I got sorted into the US Marine Corps

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

They cut me out of that stunt video

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

I am not afraid to admit that these are the only book I own

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

You’ll never believe what just happened

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Yesterday, I posted a tweet that got 0 likes. I deleted it, thought about it, workshopped it with a friend, and reposted it. It now has 5 likes. Never stop grinding

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

I told a joke and I was shocked by the crowd’s reaction

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

This gas station in Chicago offers a discount if you buy 3 foot longs

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

Okay please listen to my Jack Black podcast called Jacking Off @JackingOffPod

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

What do I do with this insanely specific tank top now

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

9 months

Hate to do this, but Jeremy Allen White stole his Calvin Klein poses from pictures of me storming the capitol

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

@caitiedelaney The movie Remember Me has a line where a woman says “I don’t date sociology majors”. And Robert Pattinson says “Lucky for you I’m undecided” and she says “About what” and he said “everything”. Also, the ending is great

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Going to a wedding in two weeks

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

My cat has diarrhea one time: “He needs to see a doctor immediately.” I have diarrhea multiple times a day every day for 29 years: “I’ve got a weird stomach”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I love when the majority of tweets are like “This news event will singlehandedly lead to the mental breakdown of millions of people”, and then seeing the one or two people who are still posting shit like “what if cum tasted like barbecue sauce”

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

7 months

Finally something worthy of Calvin’s piss

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

@limitlessjest Yes!!! My grandpa drank out of that mug every day until his passed away at 38

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

I literally have no idea what this tweet means but I’m glad it’s doing well

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

They would only get 4 tests

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

If you want to avoid saying “well THAT wasn’t on my 2023 Bingo Card”, I made one for you

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

@1AbbyRoad Granted it’s not the same, but you can still access this page if you click the Space Jam logo in the upper right corner of the new website

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

2023 Best Picture Nominees as 2023 Best Picture Nominees: All Quiet On The Western Front

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

Therapy!!!!!!

Jason Voorhees

@JasonVoorheesIM

1 year

Jason's been to New York. Jason's been to space. Where else should Jason go?

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

Made koozies for my brother’s engagement, and had to cover my bases

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 months

Ratioed the President of the United States

richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 months

It's simple.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Today I learned Werner Herzog was hot as hell

The Daily

@CriterionDaily

4 years

#HBD , Werner Herzog! 1970 portrait by Richard Avedon.

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Tim very clearly smiling during this is my favorite thing

reggie millers belly button tattoo

@BIMBOMINDSET

4 years

I’ve watched this 10 times today

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

2 years

@walkercapl Do not make your child an orphan

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

*Seeing current age The Rock* Woah woah woah, spoilers! I’m not caught up on Young Rock yet!

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

3 years

Got a new koozie

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Gen Z thinks they can attack Eminem and that I would just stay quiet about it?

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

7 months

Lindsay Lohan today is the same age that Jamie Lee Curtis was in Freaky Friday This probably isn’t true. I didn’t look it up just had a feeling about it

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

New dog just dropped

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

1 year

@RaxKingIsDead This followed up later by “my friend Whoopi”, “Goldberg or Billingham?” was so great

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

I hope there is a physical release

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

he's so great in acting he intimidates me

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

5 years

*watching INTERSTELLAR* Me: hmmm that guy looks familiar, wonder what I know him from *looks him up on IMDB* Me: turns out I know him from INTERSTELLAR

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richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

4 years

Wow 8 years ago I genuinely posted an @eric_rahill tweet and nobody liked it

richie owens

@iamRichieOwens

12 years

The future is going to be so interesting and beautiful.

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