sedih la tengok produser/pengarah melenting bila drama dia kena kritik. kononnya penonton tak faham the hard work behind a production. dude, dalam episod terakhir Bojack Horseman ada cakap, “art is not about what you put into it but it’s about what people can get out of it.”.
mak: dah jumpa spek kamu. kat dapur.
me: thank you! *hulur tangan* eh? mana speknya?
mak: kat dapur.
me: la, kenapa tak tolong bawakkan?
mak: none of my business.
once, my UMNO friend said to me, “Kau tak nak selamatkan Melayu ke?” then i jokingly said “selamatkan Melayu dari siapa? UMNO?” then we laughed and laughed. anyway, he got married last month and i wasn’t invited.
pls no drive-in movies in malaysia. orang selalu datang lambat. imagine how annoying it’d be when you’re 15 min into the movie and a satria neo dengan ekzos kuat cam setan just rolls in
oh trend bodo tu datang dari ni ke? dah tengok. dia buat quite funny, agak innocent. dapat ke malai people terus jadi preachy, condescending, tak kelakar.
tadi tengah buat kerja kat padang dengan budak budak ni. kebetulan ada budak tahfiz tengah main bola . lepastu ada sorang tu datang bagi surat ni , dia suruh sampai sampaikan kat semua orang :)
i asked a little girl yesterday at my library talk in Terengganu. “adik umur berapa?” *senyap.
“adik umur berapa?” *senyap again. Then dia jawab “Saya tak ada adik.”
Think about it.
Ada satu je negara di mana rakyat dia kena makan pakai mask. Orang buka mask untuk makan, kena saman RM10 ribu. Cuba teka negara mana. Susah nak teka, kan? Tambah2 lagi sebab dalam dunia ni ada 500 buah negara, menurut Menteri Kesihatan.
I dunno what the situation is like in selangor but i imagine it’s something like this:
*at a roadblock*
“Pergi mana, puan?”
“Pergi pasar. Boleh ke?”
“Entah la saya pun tak tau.”
me, at starbucks: eh, Datuk Seri? aren’t you supposed to be in jail?
Najib w a fake moustache: eh, you cakap dengan saya ke haha
barista: caramel macchiato for Naqib
go and watch this movie. it’s good. but pls promise to NEVER write an article about “apasal mesia takleh buat cerita best camni??!?” don’t do that okay? Bong Joon-ho can work on one film for two years. kitorang setahun kena buat at least 6 projek just to GET BY
Watch it again in cinemas at locations below:
• TGV KLCC
• TGV Sunway Pyramid
• TGV 1-Utama
• MMC Damansara
• MMC City Square
• Emperor Cinemas
• Superstar Cinema Ulu Tiram
• Superstar Cinema Segamat
i had a 125zR so rempits accepted me as their own. they taught me a lot about how to change my perspective. once, it was drizzling, we were stuck in school. “babi la hujan” i said. “baguih la,” said a rempit. “takde road block.” then he rode off into the rain.
memandangkan semua orang tengah cakap pasal gaji minimum, saya nak bagitau yang bayaran untuk penulis skrip tak berubah sejak 1990 walaupun dengan inflasi. bomoh hujan dibayar lebih tinggi daripada kami. itu saja saya nak cakap tyvm
shut up and take it. it’s all of you punya fault. you guys glorify iklan raya too much. they use that data to rationalise these hard sells. i keep saying this every year but no one listens. i feel like i host Info Wars or something.
Lady: Azwak, apa pandangan kamu tentang kerajaan ini?
Azwak: Jangan risau. Selagi rakyat bersatu, kita akan okey.
CEO: Azwak, awak sangat baik. Nah, ambil kunci kereta BMW saya. Sekarang, kereta ini awak punya.
rate saya sebagai influencer
review kat IG: RM200
review kat twitter: RM1k/thread
ugut orang beli produk: RM2k/threat
sebar fitnah tentang pesaing: RM5k
jadi rempit dalam video bersama klien (ala najib): RM20k
Adviser: Mr. President, the approval rating for the Malaysian PM went up after he recited dua on live television.
Trump: Hold my MAGA hat. I’m gonna adhaan.
Adviser: Mr. Pre—
Trump:
Kenangan paling indah dengan Cu Mamat adalah masa aku budak dulu dia selalu bagi pinjam filem2 dari koleksi dia. Pulp Fiction, Donnie Darko, This Is Spinal Tap, etc. Dia bagi pinjam album Korn juga kat abang aku. We lost a cool and immensely talented man today. Al Fatihah
deal dengan pelakon harga 2001. dengan penulis skrip pula harga 1990. Malaysia, your best writers are not writing because they’re smart enough to stay away from this industry.
sometimes when you’re hungry late at night, it’s because you’re dehydrated. it sounds counter-intuitive but it’s true. i always rehydrate with burger ramly.
one of my schoolmates just passed away. took his own life. he's so young. 27. friends, i hope you take depression seriously. when people reach out to us, don't turn them away. okay? peace.
that’s why meat-eaters should eat halal meat. for a meat to be halal, the animal must have a space to roam, clean water, air, not witness any death, treated w respect 😬