*me to the group of girls next to me at the bar waiting for a drink*
“i guess that’s why they call this march madness huh?”
“ew leave us alone”
can’t say i didn’t step up to the plate
when you’re the big dog like me, you get to travel for work and get these kinds of views…yeah that’s a kohls parking lot 💪🏻
just called my mom and told her i made it, headed to the texas roadhouse now
god is good man
"I HAVE A DAUGHTER IN BROOKLYN. GET THE F-CK OUT OF THE WAY"
Fed up black driver physically removes the Free Palestine protestors blocking off the bridge in Manhattan
Travis Kelce told Justin Tucker he needed to move because their QB Patrick Mahomes had to warm up. So Kelce kicked his ball away and threw his helmet. 😂
don’t even have plans tonight but i just found these in my closet and might need to make some now. that’s a fresh pair of trousers if i do say so myself
i would say that European mind cannot comprehend this, but i think its safe to
say the europeans probably have a pretty good understanding of what this image means
another hard fought week in the books, celebrate accordingly
everyone knows that hollywood makes cigarettes look so appealing in tv/movies all across the board….
I would like to dedicate this tweet to Band of Brothers for making cigarettes look so badass
doing some light reading this morning. my morals have slipped recently, read a few chapters and now i’m back to living my life as a brother of the white cross
Ordered an uber pool home from the airport today. Shared the ride with a guy by the name of Leroy. Leroy and I immediately started chopping it up. Fellas been a union pipe fitter for 37 years. Conversation was great and I asked Leroy if he wanted to keep
the party going and…
lots of steak experts in my mentions telling me i don’t know how to sear a steak. i was making SKIRT steak you dunces. here’s some real cuts of meat for you to come after
here’s a depressing tweet:
the highlight of my day is drinking a celcius in the shower in the morning. after that, it’s pretty much downhill until the next morning
hahahah wait u said racist and xenophobic?? in what way? the man just made a simple little dad joke. good luck getting joel poor, a MARKETING LEGEND, fired. joel is probably the best and funniest professors i’ve had in my life, with that being said
#istandwithjoel
@chickentenderl5
from my experience, you’ll want to be the drunkest person there. like really drunk. everyone, including your gf, will think it’s hilarious. best of luck my friend
she’s here. and my god…..she is beautiful. most important purchases a man can make:
first car
first house
first rolex
first turkey fryer
this is a special day at the compound of sweet baby clay
in honor of spring break season, please enjoy these reviews of the resort we stayed at my senior year of high school.
truly one of the most classic things in my camera roll
“Cooking these up for you and a special lady?” the cashier at my local grocer asks me….
“nope. just a young man trying to hit his protein for the day, couldn’t pass up the valentine’s day deal. also, mind your damn business”
might be my only serious tweet ever but needed somewhere to say it. a year ago today was the lowest point of my life by a lot. woke up this morning with a big ass smile on my face. taking the action to change is an amazing feeling
#fuckxanax
there’s nothing quite like getting ready for tee time 4 hours early. giggling like a school girl, ready to go low out there.
a quick prayer on the first tee box, and then the boys are off on the good friday invitational.
O/U today is 86.5.
playing a tough track, hoping i…
nothing i like more than 45 swinging a 7 iron
i’ve been nervous to say this…but here goes nothing…
I AM PERSONALLY ENDORSING DONALD J TRUMP IN THE 2024 ELECTION
45 and 47!!!
unfollow me if u deem this offensive, doesn’t matter to me
🚨⛳️🇺🇸
#DART
— Former President Donald Trump played a round at Trump National Palm Beach with LIV golfer Caleb Surratt today and fired a dart on 17: “Oh thats going to be close… oh that was good!”
(🎥:
@calebsurratt1
)
POV: man gets wind that his hound has escaped the compound via an open gate. Man swiftly springs into action in order to embark on his search.
That man in question is none other than my father.
she’s here. and my god…..she is beautiful. most important purchases a man can make:
first car
first house
first rolex
first turkey fryer
this is a special day at the compound of sweet baby clay
what’s a man to do for the evening in peoria illinois?
apparently there’s a journey concert in town. might have to pick myself up some miller high life’s and head over
black tie event this weekend. figured i’d bring out the hugh hefner look instead of the traditional tuxedo. what are the haters going to say about this one?
“but clay, you’re just a lil innocent white boy from the suburbs”
“let me correct you: a lil white boy from the suburbs with the welsh dragon on him now”
put some respect on my family’s heritage 🏴
christopher moltisanti inspired velour tracksuit.
dad says i look ridiculous, we’ll see how ridiculous i feel when im getting cat called walking down wells street
just whipped up some smash burgers on the cast iron for me and my boy. washed it down with a high life….got a 12 pack at jewel for $8…hope everyone has a great weekend
firs tee time of the year this weekend…i just checked the forecast:
-scattered pockets of bob seger throughout the mid morning
-heavy downpour of coors lights
-80% chance of me hitting the chi chi rodriguez at any birdie opportunity
I AM BACK
anybody mind if i throw on the tiger mockneck parlayed with the pink and white gallivanters? didn’t think so. course record may be in some serious trouble tomorrow morning
(this is going to be a golf account for the time being)
Sweet Baby Clay’s top 5 all time…
1. Night Moves- Bob Seger
2. Dirty Work- Steely Dan
3. One Last Breath- Creed
4. Rooster- Alice in Chains
5. All Your’n- Tyler Childers
HM: Sleeping Angel- Stevie Nicks
your negative comments won’t be welcomed.