🚨I am moving my Monday Morning Newsletter to Substack. 🚨
Below is the e-mail I sent to all who subscribe to my Monday Morning Newsletter. I wanted to also share it here.
Backstory: On March 25th, 2022 - I sent my first I Help Pastors Get Jobs Newsletter through Mailchimp. It…
Remember friend.
A $5 iced latte a day is $25 a week, $100 a month, $1200 a year.
After 10 years.. that’s $12,000!
Which is still nowhere near enough to put a down payment on a house so enjoy your espresso in peace.
An alcoholic friend of Philip Yancey once said to him:
“When I'm late to church, people turn around and stare at me with frowns of disapproval.
I get the clear message that I'm not as responsible as they are.
When I'm late to AA, the meeting comes to a halt and everyone…
Spent an hour coaching someone on how to do their job who probably makes twice what I do.
I told my mother in law how frustrated I felt by that.
She said, “now you get a glimpse of how women have felt for 50 years.”
Celebrity pastors are cool but have you ever met a small town preacher who has faithfully served their not so glamorous community for 40 years and no one ever heard of them? Those people are the real heroes.
I studied theology & bible and I am not a psychologist.
When people in my church request therapy, I refer them to a professional.
If they can't afford it, our church pays for it.
Why?
Because I studied theology and bible and I am not a psychologist.
In 2014, I was “fired” from a church because I wouldn’t let my wife be free labor. I was told to sign an NDA or w’d be homeless. We lived in the parsonage.
On my healing journey, I met many other pastors who had similar stories.
That is my why.
PS - I was there for 5 days.
A megachurch pastor sat with a group of urban pastors who had small congregations with limited resources in rough neighborhoods.
The megachurch pastor proudly announced, “We want to adopt you & help you grow.”
One urban pastor spoke up and said, “Funny, we had the same idea.”
Celebrity pastors are cool but have you ever met a small town preacher who has faithfully served their not so glamorous community for 40 years and no one ever heard of them? Those people are the real heroes.
Someone told me “liberals today would cancel Fred Rogers for his traditional views on gender”
As someone who has studied Fred at length, conservatives would have canceled him way sooner. 👀
Church hiring committees: we want a married pastor with kids.
Pastor: what’s the salary?
Church hiring committee: 40k a year!
Pastor: And benefits?
Church hiring committee: 2 Sundays off annually and a subscription to rightnow media!
If I were to church plant again, I’d start off by creating a daycare.
There is such a need for quality childcare in this nation.
I’d use that as a funding stream and hub to meet people and let the church blossom from there.
To the other dads on Twitter, I have a 1 year old, 4 year old, and 5 year old.
Taking care of them gets easier with each year.
Don’t believe the parents of adult kids who tell you the toddler years are easy.
They have amnesia.
I am not opposed to seminary, I loved seminary.
BUT to have a person pay for a 50k+ education and 3 years of their lives for a career that will mostly likely result in leading a small to medium sized church, never earning more than 70k, you have to admit, something is off.
In 2014, I was “fired” from a church because I wouldn’t let my wife be free labor.
I was told to sign an NDA or w’d be homeless. We lived in the parsonage.
On my healing journey, I met many other pastors who had similar stories.
That is my why.
PS - I was there for 5 days.
Deconstruction is cool but have you ever gone to a church full of addicts, the unhoused, others on the margin of society with a humble, gentle, soft spoken pastor?
I did this for 6 months when I was mad at God and it made me rethink my privileged positions and find Jesus again.
I have very young kids.
My life is chaos.
Let’s just put it this way. I go to work to relax.
My coworker is an empty nester.
When I tell him stories about my kids, he responds “I’d give anything to have my kids be that age again.”
And all I can think of, is you go home and…
10 years ago this week, I had the most traumatic experience of my life... in a church. It was a Friday.
2 days later, I went to a different church to worship.
It was Redeemer Upper West Side, when they had a 7pm service. I sat in the back row, mostly shellshocked at what…
Im chewing on this idea I heard recently:
“Solo Pastors of small and medium sized churches have to be able to “shepherd” people and “manage” the day to day business of an organization. Two distinctly different skills, and it’s no wonder they’re exhausted.”
Truth to this?
Part of moving is finding a new church.
Now I’m not picky but if the dad is the lead pastor, mom is the associate, son is the youth pastor and daughter is the worship pastor, I’m scratching that off my list right away.
Church hiring committees: “We want a married man with children as our next pastor.”
Pastoral candidate: “Well do you provide a living wage, health insurance, retirement and PTO?”
Church hiring committees: “Paul didn’t have those things! Pastors today have no grit!”
never seemed to bother the other worshipers being in the service.
As a parent with 3 young kids, getting to church is really, really tough, especially after 7 years of church planting.
We usually leave more exhausted than we came but this was a nice mix.
We'll go back Sunday.
Just asked a youth pastor how much he earned a year and his response:
“On paper, 35k but the church automatically deducts my tithe so technically 31.5k.”
🫠
Nobody:
Church Hiring Committees: we are looking for a married men between ages 35-50 who can teach, preach, develop leaders, manage budget, plan outreaches, perform weddings, funerals and be available to care for us at 24/7/365.
Staring salary: 30k.
A very real question to ask aspiring church planters:
If your community already had a dozen churches that hold Sunday services at 11am and yet the majority of the community is not in church, why is starting another church that holds a Sunday service at 11am the solution?
Churches wanting to reach young families should really pray about a casual, kid friendly, Saturday 5pm service.
This Sunday morning struggle bus is real.
Why is it that if a pastor serves a church and works a job, we view that as a failure but if a pastor serves a church while writing books and speaking at conferences, we view at that as a success.
It shows what we value.
Two churches in same town: one shrinking, one growing.
A reporter asked the pastor why they’re shrinking to which the pastor said, “because we preach the gospel.”
The reporter asked other pastor why they’re growing to which the pastor said, “because we preach the gospel.”
We have a 380k loan.
If we pay it over 30 years, we will pay just shy of 1M.
This is with no debt, and perfect credit.
Why is renting “just throwing away money” again?
I used to be an Airbnb purist and super fan but in general, it has gone south post covid.
I’m now team hotel.
It’s normally cheaper, breakfast is included, it’s cleaner and you’re not required to do any work before check out.
Pastoral board: “We know the salary is low but our previous pastors wife worked and carried the insurance to help offset the cost.”
Pastoral candidate: 👍🏼
(6 months later)
Pastoral board: “why isn’t your wife leading 14 ministries in the church for free?”
Church Job Descriptions will legit say: “Church of 65 seeking full time pastor. M. Div required, D. Min preferred. Must have at least 10 years experience as lead pastor of church 200+ in attendance, must be 35-50 years old, married with kids, starting salary 35k / year”
My family attended a new church on Sunday and my 5 year old went to kids church, my 3 year old hung out with me in the sanctuary and the 1 year old went with my wife to the baby / crawler room.
After service, my wife texted me the code to pick up our 5 year from kids church
Anyone who thinks hard work is the remedy to poverty should spend time in places of concentrated poverty and realize it’s full of hard working people.
It’s tough to admit but luck is also a massive factor, starting with your parents and zip code.
I resigned from my job today so I can share this.
After 10 years of life & ministry in The Bronx, my family of 5 will be relocating to Lancaster County, PA next month.
I accepted a role as Director of Learning & Development at a great company.
Happy and sad, but grateful.
How to get financially ahead as a millennial.
1. Cook more meals at home.
2. Never order coffee out.
3. Buy used cars.
4. Time travel so that you’re 18 in 1975 and get a union job and a 40k home.
5. Do staycations instead of travel.
In all my years of seminary, I was never once trained on:
How to deal with a pushy guy who wants to sell his MLM to church members after service.
How to deal with the ambitious real estate agent who keeps posting her listings on the church Facebook group.
How to deal with…
The thing I like about mainline church services over evangelical church services is that in the mainline churches, the personality of the pastor is not the center of the service.
Don’t quote me on this but I’m imagining we are going to see a surge in micro churches in the next 5-10 years and more Christians desiring to meet in homes around dinner tables than a large Sunday gatherings.
Pastors, let’s be wise and plan accordingly.
What is it about reformed theology that reorients humble, kind people into brash, smug know-it-alls?
I mean, think about it, how many people join a Pentecostal church and 6 months later are arguing with their grandma over xenoglossia?
But you know calvinists would.
Mechanic for an oil change on a Saturday morning and talked for 4 hours. He held my 3 month old and fed her a bottle while I ate my lunch.
I don’t remember what we talked about but that memory is seared on my brain and probably will be forever.
When I was a pastor, I proposed we did a once a month service and then the other Sundays, do small groups.
It was shot down by one guy.
Who came to service about once a month.
The average church in the US is 65 people, I’m not an anti church growth guy but to me 65 seems like a sweet spot for churches.
Small enough to be close knit, large enough to have classes, programs and events.
Also a new person can visit without it being (too) obvious. The…
On the walk back home, I thought how grateful I was that a church took child safety so seriously.
Honestly, I wasn't crazy about the service, not my style but my 5 year old had a great time, my wife could enjoy the message from the baby room and my 3 year old, though squirmy
A few years ago, I had a church planting coach who wanted to meet me, a bivo planter in nyc who at the time had a 1 year old and 3 month old just out of NICU.
I told him, sorry but no.
He told me I’ll help you run errands and he did. We went to the grocery store, pharmacy and
What do you when you’re a pastor in a church and a member is deep into a pyramid scheme?
So much so that when you say they can’t present it to the church, they think you’re forsaking God’s will for the community?
Asking for a friend 👀
I just watched a 12 year old YT video where Mark Driscoll and Joshua Harris and piled on Francis Chan for his decision to leave his large church. This aged... strangely.
I never got the whole church size = health thing.
There’s healthy small churches and healthy big churches.
There’s unhealthy small churches and unhealthy big churches.
Why don’t we stop judging butts in the seat (or lack thereof) and maturity of disciples being formed.
Here’s the problem with hiring (churches and otherwise):
Most organizations say they want a leader to bring change. They don’t.
They want someone to manage the status quo and get mad when they try to lead and bring change.
I hear this often in evangelical churches, and occasionally in other spaces
Have a weekly date night with your spouse.
No matter how busy you are, how many kids you have, or what’s going on, make it a priority.
Seems stupidly unrealistic for most people, including self.
If you’re a pastor and you have people in your life who will never walk into the 4 walls of a church but you’re one of the first people they call you when:
- They lose their job.
- They’re having an internal crisis.
- Their marriage is in trouble.
- Their kids are stressing…
Is this a small church problem or all church problem?
About once a year, we have someone come to our church, usually a man, and wants a leadership position within weeks.
When we don’t give them one, they get offended and leave.
Anyone else?
Every Monday morning, I pray for bivocational pastors.
Can you imagine pouring yourselves out mentally, emotionally and spiritually during a Sunday service and then waking up Monday morning and going to work?
That’s what these heroes do week in and week out.
God sees you.
Whenever I find myself arguing with other Christians about fine points of theology, I have to remember at the end of my life, Jesus is not going to say:
“Well argued, my good and faithful theologian, enter into my library.”
Visiting a new church today and feeling optimistic!
I told my kids after, we will go to the Chick-fil-A with the indoor playground.
Gonna be a good Sunday! 😎
Hard work and hustle are overrated.
You know what’s underrated: observing a day of rest religiously, using all your vacation days, having hobbies that serve no purpose other than having fun, being an adult who has friends.
That’s the good life.
Three signs of a mature Christian.
-the unwillingness to be easily offended.
-the extraordinary capacity to forgive
-the simple ability to laugh at themselves
I never liked the phrase “that church plant failed”
If the gospel was proclaimed, people were discipled and lives were changed, why does it matter if that particular body lived 6 months or 60 years?
Phrases like that above are rooted in capitalism, not kingdom.
Why can’t we find any quality youth pastors?
The expectations:
Be the part time social media / graphics guy, leader of leaders, builder of ministries, gritty galvanizer, and *checks notes* a people… magnet?
Going from 0 kids to 1 is disorienting.
But 1 to 2 wasn’t bad.
2 to 3 was just as disorienting as 0 to 1. Maybe worse.
I’m not gonna find out what 4 is like.
Hundreds of phone calls with pastors who want corporate jobs, their top reasons (in no particular order)
Health Insurance, Retirement, So my wife can be SAHM
Reasons never heard: I want extravagant vacations, I want a Tesla or sports car, I want a second home.
This may hurt some feelings but here goes.
Stop saying you’re not administratively gifted.
No one is.
It’s a learned skill.
And here’s the thing.
Paying attention to details, keeping a calendar, responding in a timely manner to people, keeping a close eye on important…
Feel called to ministry?
Learn a marketable skill.
Get a secular job.
Develop healthy emotional and social practices.
Pray a lot.
Serve as one of many lay or part time pastors at a church.
Enjoy the ride.
I’ve gone to churches with male pastors, female pastors and once or twice, husband and wife co-pastors.
However if the whole church staff is related, I’m undoubtedly never going.
That’s just plain weird and a huge red flag 🚩
I have been doing ministry in New York City for 10 years.
I can tell you that very few from here care about high production worship, Instagram reel preaching, or programs out the wazoo.
What people value; authenticity, community, and presence.
I have made fun of megachurches and megachurch pastors and honestly, it's because it's an easy target.
With all the headlines of the abusive, narcissist pastors that come from the big churches, it's easy to become jaded and to categorize them all as the same.
But if I step back…
I think one of the most counter cultural ways you can live as a Christian in 2024 is not cave into upper middle class culture to exhaust your kids into a million activities and allow them margin to experience the awe and wonder of God in their lives.
There is a very real “pastor privilege” that if you’re a pastor, you have and may not even know it.
It puts you on a pedestal and attracts people to you who would otherwise not be interested in you other than your job.
A true story about pastor privilege🧵
The numbers of pastors, professors, mentors and friends who have traded in seeking first the kingdom for the ideologies of Qanon, anti-vax and pro-Trump America in the last 7 years is saddening. I can see why people my age and younger get fed up.
I think after my family moves, we're just going to take Eugene Peterson's advice on finding a new church.
Join the closest small church to you and commit to staying 6 months.
Which means I may become Mennonite.
If you ever sat down with somebody who is deconstructing, you will find out rather quickly they’re abandoning what was never Christianity in the first place.
10 years ago, I looked for a church with amazing worship and world class preaching.
Now I look for a church that centers on the Lord’s table and has a welcoming congregation.
I never got the Monday off thing for pastors.
Why would you give your family your worst day?
Fridays and Saturdays off make a lot more sense.
If there’s an event on either day, a flex day the following week.
Any other former pastors sit in church and hear the sermon text and immediately your brain starts spinning on how you would preach that text or am I just a psycho?
Never thought of this but books like Radical and Crazy Love are lauded by Conservative Christians yet people like Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo live out the contents of those books and have for years and are largely avoided in conservative Christian circles.
If you’re preaching Sunday, pull out your sermon and read it over asking this question:
Is the theme of this message to do more, try harder and be better?
If so, change it to point to Jesus - His love and saving grace.
Folks bear enough burdens, don’t put more on them Sunday.
I love seeing churches who have assigned parking for pastors and it’s the furthest spot from the church.
The closest spots are reserved for new people, those with mobility needs and young families / expecting mothers.
It communicates a lot.