兔兒神 @chenchenwrites Twitter profile

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

4 years

let me stay tender-hearted, despite despite despite

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

nothing like packing up a whole apartment to make you never want to own an earthly possession ever again

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

8 months

life is so hehe! until it is oh. oh no.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

i used to think self-promotion was a really icky concept & practice, until i realized that the actual self-centered thing is to believe that people will just flock to your work (based on talent/"merit") without you having to say anything about it/support readers in finding it

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

i miss being regular sad about the world and not like, catastrophically worried and miserably horrified

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape. ―bell hooks

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

incredible how often it's cis het white people being like "so you're only friends with ppl who share your same political beliefs? must be so boring!" and i'm like, yes, i love to be bored by only having friends who believe i should be alive, it's pretty fucking great actually

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

20 days

“garlic bread”—two very beautiful words that become the most beautiful together

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

i do not want to be merely tolerated or accepted. what miserably low standards. i want to be celebrated. i wanted to be asked serious questions. i want to be asked about my dreams and desires, my sorrows and my favorite trees. i want to be wanted. actively. abundantly. today.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

5 months

i want life to matter. i want people to matter. i want grief to matter. i want language to matter. i want connection to matter. it is heartbreaking to witness so much sanitized cruelty. genocide, displacement, dehumanization. i want the heart to matter. i wish it did. much more.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

11 months

i think part of why queer people tend to have a lot of queer friends is bc we’ll talk abt our lives fully, incl sex & crushes & relationships etc. a lot of straight ppl’s “acceptance” doesn’t go beyond not actively hurting you. they don’t know how to say/do more. or don’t want to

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

11 months

writing does not have to be “relatable” to be good.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

Being queer saved my life. Often we see queerness as deprivation. But when I look at my life, I saw that queerness demanded an alternative innovation from me. I had to make alternative routes; it made me curious; it made me ask, "Is this enough for me?" —Ocean Vuong

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

i love an abundance of affection. say “i love you!” to your friends. say “good job!” every time someone in your life does a good job, however small the task. say “this is beautiful!” whenever you feel like it. i don’t believe in witholding everyday praise or warmth

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

white people really can’t handle seeing nuanced, flawed, altogether messy characters of color. because they’re so used to seeing people of color as moral symbols. rather than as, you know, people.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

11 months

poetry is like "wow the moon is gay and death is everywhere and if only you and i were real"

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

9 months

reading really is so helpful for writing. it's like "oh right a sentence can start like that" or "omg that word i want to use that word" or "wow do i hate this book let me go write something against this"

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

i deeply dislike the word “content” and how it’s taken over everyday speech and flattened distinctions between forms of media, art, entertainment, and literature

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

6 years

a very toxic idea i've encountered in writing programs/lit culture at large is that if you're a white writer, you haven't suffered enough to write gritty, real stuff. this is a toxic idea bc it assumes that writers of color are primarily or only of value bc of our suffering.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

5 years

i'm struck by how many readers get trained to read poetry as a decoding process or a riddle-solving. rather than "just" enjoying language and imagining what's happening on the page. a deer can be a symbol of something "profound." or it can be a deer. the sound "deer."

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

5 years

My god, I thought, my whole life I’ve been under her raincoat thinking it was somehow a marvel that I never got wet. —Ada Limón ( @adalimon ) This poem. This ending.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

i need my fellow east asian diaspora folks in particular to own up to the fact that our communities and businesses have been and continue to be anti-Black in many ways. start there. instead of always being like "why isn't anti-asian racism taken seriously"

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

amazing how twitter can actually be the most calming place for me these days because people are just spiraling here & that feels more honest & accurate to the unhinged state of the world than people offline acting like it’s just another week

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

6 years

white privilege is acting like you don’t how know how to use google / like decades of research on racism don’t already exist / like you just need someone nicer and calmer to explain it all to you

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

11 months

some things are just bad. they can’t be fixed or redeemed. they contain no lesson. they are terrible and heartbreaking and they are also life

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

5 months

A lover, once: You can’t say every action is political. Then the word political loses all meaning. He added: What is political about this moment? I was washing his dishes. I had left the water running. —Solmaz Sharif

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

10 months

poems are so funny. they’re like, oh no i’m heartbroken. but also hot?? but oh. everything and everyone is dead

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

7 months

this poem, again * the grief *

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

6 months

being forced to flee your home is violence. having your home destroyed and your land poisoned is violence. being targeted for staying on your land is violence. being forced to flee with no right to return home is violence. having your land occupied by a colonial force is violence

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

what’s a poem that’s saved your life / healed your heart? i need one of those right now

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

5 months

trying to reframe “i’ve failed” to “i couldn’t at the time” by asking myself “what did i need then to succeed that i didn’t have?” and “what i do need now to make the next step?”

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

10 months

i want to be known for my physical beauty AND my charming intellect and also to not actually be perceived at all. that’s it!

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

4 years

I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again —Georgia O’Keeffe

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

i think white people disliking this movie to this degree mainly has to do with them being very used to asians being an “aesthetic” and not people with complicated emotions and real conflicts and abundant ideas

cowboy kenna 🤠

@mouseabolition

1 year

Listen you don’t have to like EEAAO. Your loss. But I don’t really get how you look at a movie that is quite literally about a mother learning to embrace her daughter just in time to prevent her from committing suicide & said “there’s no genuine emotion here”

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

5 months

when i grow up i want to be the 2nd asian-inspired sparkling water

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

6 years

i don't block/mute accounts bc i can't "handle a debate." i wrote over 60 pages for my doctoral qualifying exams, engaging with issues of race and sexuality in american literature. i block/mute bc 1) your racism is not my responsibility to debate and 2) i like myself.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

10 months

fellow asians, please stop being so racist and embarrassing. ridding affirmative action won't help you. it just won't. also, getting into your top choice college is a really silly hill to die on. like, please. dream bigger.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

saying "i love you" to your friends on a regular basis is really nice!! i hate the idea that it should only be for romantic situations and "reserved" for special occasions

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

when you tell queer kids they’re too young to know that queer people *exist* you’re really telling them they’re too young to love themselves, but never too young to be bullied, ostracized, isolated

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

29 days

been signing emails + letters + books lately with “wishing you every gentleness.” because that is my wish. for myself, too

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

poets receiving their spoonful of creative despair at half past midnight

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1 year

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

being an adult doesn't mean complete self-sufficiency (which just means pretending you don't need anyone—a complete lie). it means self-advocacy & self-awareness. learning what you need, how to ask for it, how to ask for support & receiving it wisely. & showing up for others

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

9 months

what if i became a stained glass window

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

9 months

i would like to be less persistent/resilient and more supported/well-rested

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

the idea that sex should only be for reproduction (or that this role is the most important “function” of sex) is one of the worst and most boring ideas people have invented

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

one of my pet peeves is the belief that a poem is just a more complicated way of saying something you could say plainly. no. at its best, every line of a poem is actually the simplest way you could say something—it’s just that the something is complicated & strange & alive.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

it is very, very hard to do it all. friendships, creative work, jobs, relationships/partnerships, family, taking care of yourself, food, sleep, staying politically engaged, & so on. i don't know how people have kids. i am already so tired and i'm privileged in certain ways

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

3 months

need to teach this Mary Oliver poem more often

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

i don't know how many times i've posted this poem before. or how many times i'll post it again. but "I wake up & it breaks my heart" has been in my heart ever since i read this

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

8 months

god i love reading and forgetting that anything but the book in my hands exists

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

7 months

one of my favorite, favorite poems

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

6 years

just remembering the time a white cishet male MFA classmate said “i speak for millions of readers!” bc he was uncomfortable with me using Chinese in two lines of a poem. and i was like, “um like 2 billion readers would understand these lines.”

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

"the work speaks for itself"—well, maybe it does, but how will readers come to that conclusion themselves if they have no idea the work even exists? why do you think the film industry spends so much on marketing? including for films with lots of famous actors in them?

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

Love is the only force that allows us to hold one another close beyond the grave. That is why knowing how to love each other is also a way of knowing how to die. —bell hooks, from All About Love

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

10 months

i do not have patience for the belief that art shouldn’t be political. are you not alive? are you not dying? is the planet not in crisis? do you think your enemies care how beautifully subtle you can be? or that your so-called allies care about the ‘longevity’ of your work?

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

8 months

sharing taste in poetry is something sacred. and hot

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

11 months

what a relief, to talk about your life fully, to hear someone else do the same, to hear each other talk about queer life fully & freely

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

11 months

i don’t get it. if you can’t articulate/explore unflattering despair and abrasive ennui in literature, in a POEM, where can you?

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

just sent this little note to my parents

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

4 years

i’m monogamous, but like most poets, am also always, sluttily involved with the moon

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

6 years

the phrase "women and minorities" assumes that the default type of woman is white and erases the existence of black women and women of color. stop using this phrase.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

3 years

gonna start a dating app for academics called love at first cite

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

10 months

can’t believe i am, once again, full of longing

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

it is honestly so embarrassing to see post after post of "no one cares about violence against Asians" when Black people, Latinx people, Indigenous people have been organizing against such racism for ages. just say you want white validation & further access to white institutions

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

A lover, once: You can’t say every action is political. Then the word political loses all meaning. He added: What is political about this moment? I was washing his dishes. I had left the water running. —Solmaz Sharif

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

7 months

white people love to be like “our countries are safe for lgbtq people!” 1. who is included in that “our”? 2. um all the transphobia and book bans and “don’t say gay” fascism though?? 3. much of the interpersonal racism i’ve experienced has been in white queer spaces

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@chenchenwrites

4 months

for all my obsession with mortality i am just no good with grief. no good at sitting with it, holding it, letting it in. no good at talking about it. i go so quiet but not in a reflective way. i don't know. i want to try. what is grieving

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

a softer world. please.

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

8 months

me, in the google doc to an editor: are u mad at me

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

the thing is, i am a very tender person. but i am also a big hater. because so much of this world is not tender. but always, always i want to return to the soft, the singing places

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

7 months

being angry about israel’s genocide of palestinians is being human. telling people, especially palestinians, not to express their rage is abhorrent. israel is cutting off aid, killing journalists, annihilating entire families, every generation. if you aren’t angry yet, ask why

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

anything referred to as an "Asian Am politics" would not exist without the Civil Rights movement, the Black Power movement, Black marxist and communist movements, international leftist movements led by Black people. you can't be anti-Black & be for real justice at the same time

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

2 years

the problem with calling every interpersonal racist behavior a manifestation of "unconscious bias" is that this ignores how much interpersonal racism is 100% conscious & institutionally supported/normalized. this notion infantilizes white people as just perpetually bumbling kids

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

9 months

wow i love it when life is quiet

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

1 year

there are many, many, many things someone could be doing instead of reading your book. lol. they could be reading another book. they could be watching a great tv show. they could be getting their ass eaten. so, i'm sorry, but you do need to promote your work. a lot

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

7 months

pretending not to know who has the power to kill with impunity is also a political stance

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

4 years

had to mute some poetry accounts on here. just not interested in grand statements about the power of literature right now. you know, you really don’t need to be capital P Poets 24/7. just eat a reeses peanut butter cup and ugly cry like the mammal you are

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

3 years

always thinking of Anne Boyer’s response to an interview q about the biggest hurdle to her writing practice:

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@chenchenwrites

3 years

me, replying to emails four months later: To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. —Emily Dickinson

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

reaccepting how i am a super cheesy person. i can't be cynical and detached, i just can't, sorry! i like feeling a lot of things and talking a lot about feelings. i like warmth and affection. romance and sweetness and unabashed earnestness. i think it's a cool way to be!

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兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

19 days

never not full of needle-pierced ache from this Merwin poem

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@chenchenwrites

18 days

thanks to a student for reminding me of this stunner by Ada Limón

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

I'll cry about this earth in heaven too. —Marina Tsvetaeva (never not thinking about this)

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

what i don't get abt AI art is just why? why would you want to make something without risking anything? learning anything? without connecting to anything or anyone? connecting to yourself? without a hunger for meaning or the joy of making not for profit or even to share publicly

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

I believe that if a poem gives you pleasure, you have understood it. —Mary Ruefle

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@chenchenwrites

7 months

anyway, i write poetry because i love poetry, i love words, i love books, i love punctuation, i love playing with spacing, i love paper, i love love, i love my fruity thoughts & fag feelings, i love my rage, my ampersands, i love pencils, i love trying to describe water, i love u

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

ok some emails do just take 2-3 minutes but some do take like a full hour lmao. and therein lies the fear. the dread. the abyss

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@chenchenwrites

6 years

thinking about the privilege / prestige of poetry as a "place" where grammar can be "broken" while my immigrant parents' ways of speaking/knowing are not considered "creative," just incorrect

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

realizing how much i've wanted my life to be a poem—how much i've wanted everything to matter deeply, as in a poem. every word, every pause, every sound, every silence. every breath. how impossible this often seems, but i do still want it. or, i want it again

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@chenchenwrites

6 years

& there's the toxic assumption that to write, you must suffer. to write greatly, you must suffer greatly. cinematically, if possible. & as though depth of suffering = depth of authenticity. another issue: writers of color must produce "authentic" accounts of being oh so different

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@chenchenwrites

7 months

scratch all that. i write poetry because i am a homosexual

兔兒神

@chenchenwrites

7 months

anyway, i write poetry because i love poetry, i love words, i love books, i love punctuation, i love playing with spacing, i love paper, i love love, i love my fruity thoughts & fag feelings, i love my rage, my ampersands, i love pencils, i love trying to describe water, i love u

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@chenchenwrites

9 months

letting go of the need to prove you're smart 24/7 is also good for your writing, which can then become less a virtuosic performance of your dazzling intelligence and more an offering of open-ended observation and insight that someone else can enjoy participating in

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

congratulations @Daniels @dunkwun for winning best original screenplay & to everyone involved in EEAAO for winning best picture. my heart!!! the fullest

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

as someone with a phd in english, lemme say that the idea that "good" grammar = good morals is a totally bullshit construct that's long been used as a tool of white supremacy and imperialism

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@chenchenwrites

1 year

my heart is a little broken right now, but i am surrounded by heart-menders, heart-delighters, and hearts that sit with me and say yes, yours is a little broken right now, tell me about it if you want

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@chenchenwrites

2 years

to flee a home, a land, not knowing whether you will return is horror. to have to leave a world, your world, that you love with all your love, is horror. displacement is trauma. love to Ukrainians and Ukrainians in diaspora witnessing this horrific attack unfold

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@chenchenwrites

11 days

queer joy, yes. queer grief, yes. though lately what propels me to the page is queer rage

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@chenchenwrites

8 months

sometimes i don’t feel like a very sophisticated person because often the most i can really say about a piece of art is “i’m moved.” but that’s everything. i like art that makes me feel a lot

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@chenchenwrites

6 years

i've heard white writers complain about not having some great trauma to "use," about writers of color getting so much attention bc we're writing about "trendy" topics. all of this is, of course, super fucked up.

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@chenchenwrites

6 years

it is ok, as a poet, to write something weary & totally pissed off. you are not some wonder-&-epiphany machine.

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