Thomas @capt_thomas1492 Twitter profile

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

I’m not gay, I’m just blond.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

This would have healed America

New York Post

@nypost

2 months

Dylan Mulvaney says she tried to ‘fix’ the Bud Light boycott by pitching ad where a cowboy and trans person share a beer

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

When your house twink gets out of his cage

Protect Tucson Public Safety

@ProTucsonSafety

1 year

During a Pima County Board of Supervisor’s Meeting today, there was an accidental appearance in the background on Matt Heinz’s video feed.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

Protect Traditional Marriage

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Homosexuality but not acting on it

Henk

@henkboogaart014

1 year

What is his secret?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

If you were in a school shooting, you should try a Bioré pore strip.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

My response to society saying you have to look a certain way to feel good about yourself.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

"Your not ugly, society is."

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

If you were in a school shooting, you should try a Bioré pore strip.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Straight Men vs. Gay Men

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

Gay Guys be like “my asshole is constantly bleeding from being torn apart by dick, aren’t I funny and cute?”

BIG HEAD

@TUENEMIGOEFRAIN

2 years

the walls of my anus seeing me take another 11 inch middle eastern penis without lube

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

10 months

Is it just me or is everyone in the Rush video too fat?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

This is also how I read books.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

20 days

I’m gonna open the Brandy Melville for guys (Brad Melville), and it’s all this with copies of Catcher in the Rye throughout the store

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Australian Physiognomy: tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, huge mouth with a gummy smile. How did a mixed-heritage country develop such an unmistakable phenotype?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

E-boys and girls everywhere are shook by the Jennifer Connelly x Dasha crossover.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Anna Khachiyan

@annakhachiyan

1 year

Returning some videotapes

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

6 months

Update: it sucks

Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

6 months

He’s painting, likely something very beautiful

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

good evening

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Every gay guy tweet is one of these: - Being gay is expensive! - Is iced coffee and prep breakfast? - I tried to fart but cum came out! - My top wants to fuck but I just ate. - sksks not this…

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

6 months

Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

6 months

Every high-follower gay account is like “sksks, just had sex,” and all the replies are like, “the way this is sooo slayyy omg”

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

This is what MY tax dollars are supporting???

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

3 months

Sam (he/him)

@mushycrouton

3 months

GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE How many more times does this need to be said? Everyone is welcome on the app. It isn’t just for dating.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

@tyler02020202 You should lift, bro

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

This is my Sydney Sweeney

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

Kate Middleton is clearly being poisoned after producing a homosexual son.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

8 months

No offense but what is this nosferatu-ass mf doing copping an attitude?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

It’s Ex-Gay Thursday.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Oh no the gays are doing another “challenge” that involves posting pictures of themselves

MarkPochow of The Tortured Poets Department

@MarkPochow

1 year

30 and up Twitter, drop a pic with your age. 32 club in the house!

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

3 months

Intersectionality = how can I make this issue also about me?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Not many people know this, but as recently as the 90s, people coupled off by hair color.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

So tru 😭

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

My idea for a reality show is a spin-off of Naked And Afraid called “Gay And Afraid” where they drop off gay guys in homophobic countries, and they have to acclimate, learn to be less annoying, and earn enough money to fly back.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

This is every job in 2024

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

7 months

These men are so hot, why women always complainin??

RFH🦎👁‍🗨🪐🌘 ⬛️ (Doctor)

@hollowearthterf

7 months

Every man on a dating app: looking for someone who doesn’t take themself too seriously, looking for an adventure buddy, dog dad, hiking, just ask, 6 feet tall because apparently that matters. I’m overly competitive about everything, “moderate.” Now here’s a dead fish

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

I’m a Truther but for that gay guys are lying about all the anonymous sex they’re having in gym steam rooms. The numbers just aren’t adding up.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

9 months

This is how I post

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

9 months

Damn dude. So sorry I cranked it to your fine ass…

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

9 months

KJ Apa on the sexualization of Archie in ‘Riverdale’: “At first, as a young child… I thought it was cool — you almost want the opportunity to be shirtless… And then you gotta consistently stay in great shape. It takes a toll. Even saying that I didn’t feel comfortable I had a…

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

10 days

gm

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

This is a gay guy.

Aldo 🌞

@AldoButtazzoni

1 year

Is this what girls in 2023 are attracted to?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

I understand Israel bc I’m surrounded by HATERS who wanna destroy me, but it’s kinda my fault low-key…

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

Can I say something without everyone getting mad?

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

11 months

They responded bc it was the first message they’d ever gotten

Grindr

@Grindr

11 months

come on in, our door’s open 🌈 happy pride 🫂

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

11 months

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

6 months

Every high-follower gay account is like “sksks, just had sex,” and all the replies are like, “the way this is sooo slayyy omg”

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

I’m not gay. I just haven’t been able to meet any girls bc of MeToo

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

My other gay hero is this OnlyFans guy who gives mini lectures on being an alpha male and bodybuilding and then turns into a whimpering bottom the second he sees some dick.

JimmyTroy

@jimmytroy58

2 years

Remember them all 🇺🇸

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

and the Middle East

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Getting excited for the Big Game.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

7 months

Cutting-edge content

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

They should kiss

Jackson Hinkle 🇺🇸

@jacksonhinklle

1 year

Liberals should never claim they can out-bench me. Sad!

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

10 months

Gay guys used to be the standard bearers of counterculture. Now, they send emails "following up."

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@capt_thomas1492

1 year

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@capt_thomas1492

1 year

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

11 months

Imagine how we felt

Page Six

@PageSix

11 months

Demi Lovato ‘got tired’ of using ‘they/them’ pronouns: ‘It was absolutely exhausting’

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Goals

New York Post

@nypost

1 year

Exclusive: Melania Trump ‘lives in an ivory tower of denial,’ said former friend

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

gm

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Sam Smith is the fattest person I’ve ever seen.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

I’m not like the other girls. I… - Hate the word “moist.” - Am grossed out by mayo. - Have a fear of clowns. - Am such a horror movie nerd. - Listen to the true crime podcasts. - Can quote The Office. - Have fibromyalgia.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Anna Khachiyan

@annakhachiyan

1 year

Welcome to the podcasting event of the year

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

2000s kitchen design… you had to be there…

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

8 months

Ranking the women of Selling the OC by their capacity for evil: 1. Polly (unhinged) 2. Alex Hall (narcissist) 3. Alexandra Rose (evil in a way I respect) 4. Alexandra Jarvis (means justify the ends) 5. Brandi (hanging on by a thread) 6. Kayla (too dumb)

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

9 months

To the blond males who coordinated outfits at Whole Foods, your service did not go unnoticed.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

11 months

No shade, but isn’t this how most Americans already look?

New York Post

@nypost

11 months

Shocking 3D model reveals what ‘damaging’ remote work could do to our bodies

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

10 months

The bond between blond and swarthy men shall never perish from this earth!

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

This is heartbreaking.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

Helpful tips, thanks!

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

@SnakeSkin_J Yeah

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Need him bad.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

8 months

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

8 months

Jamie Lynn Spears is first celebrity confirmed for ‘Dancing With The Stars’ #DWTS .

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

Women bravely coming forward to covertly brag a celebrity hit on them.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Daily Reminder to fear women and their tricks.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

JUST IN: The White Lotus creator Mike White has announced Season 3 will be “for the boys” and will not feature any female characters. Instead, the season will follow “dudes chilling and straight vibing” on a dream vacation and “maybe even getting naked together.”

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

You will not see me compiling any “lists,” a female behavior.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

I worry the young gen doesnt have the right gay heroes.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

The e-boys are bimbofying.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Cool thing about Gay Guys is their personalities are generated by algorithm using the same pop culture references and made-up sexual scenarios.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Pedro da Gama

@PedroNGama

1 year

😒😁

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

8 months

His story was foretold in a cursed polish screenplay

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

If you're rly "uncensorable," show us that hog!

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

I wish Red Scare would expand into exercise videos.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Like it or not, this is the ideal couple.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

First serial killer with a tummy tuck

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Pls find this young man for me.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

7 months

Can’t walk into any bodega without this happening

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 months

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

22 days

Please do your part to stop climate change

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

My demented gay doctor after missing my vein for the fifth time.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

Gay guys be like “I’m just a dumb little twink! 🤪” and then have a full beard and back hair.

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

2 years

Learned from a friend a gay guy in his workplace got in trouble for repeatedly speaking over women in meetings, and he managed to spin it into “he was being vilified for having gay voice.”

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Thomas

@capt_thomas1492

1 year

Literally everyone predicted this AI-generated garbage would win.