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Amos Profile
Amos

@amosonokevbagbe

25,449
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Following
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Media
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Statuses

Investor/Host of the Immigrant Podcast/ Publisher Caracal Reports Inc

New York, USA
Joined January 2016
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@FightMate The day before vibes
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<3
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Sexual tension be more fun than the sex itself.
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Pretending you don’t see guys staring at you is a skill 😭
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when the lane ending & no one is letting you merge in the freeway
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Parents be like "i don't have a favorite child" then use one of your siblings birth dates as a password
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“Thank you for your payment” Me:
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I'm really a deadbeat family member, I don't be calling nobody 😭.
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Imagine being the bigger person and you hear “that’s what I thought”.
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Pain.
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“Are you busy?” Me: “Never too busy for you my Queen, wassup?”
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Starting a job feels like you’re a new character on the ninth season of a tv show.
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A ‘wyd’ in college can turn a normal day into an adventure.
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They're old now😂
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Literally my mood rn
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I never delete messages,Just incase a Mf wanna lie about July 32nd,1862.
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I get offended when ppl think I’m lying to them,u think I’m scared of u or somn? 😂
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Normalize " I'm willing to work on it" instead of "that's just how I am".
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Healthy relationships>>>>
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Personally I think men should start asking “can i be your boyfriend?” instead of “will you be my girlfriend?”
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Getting drunk with your significant other >>>>
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“I know you be talking to other niggas” Me:
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Always calling me 🙄
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Me after paying all my bills and still having money left over.
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I hate when people ask me to open up to them. Like bro,I just met you 4 years ago,give it time.
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Callin your gf “my bitch” aint cute 😭 who raised y’all???
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Moms try to go easy on the last born like nah throw the tv at them like you did me.
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I like your brother. I like ur sister
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“Your homework consists of 3 questions” The homework:
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Relationships are really not hard, some of y’all just wanna be kids forever...
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Who's the better player? Ansu Fati or. Vinicius jnr
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Y'all b fighting y’all demons I be chillin with mine.
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When my wife gives birth to twin girls,I'm naming one Kate and the other dupliKate.
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September 1st.
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Start a FRIENDSHIP before y'all get into a RELATIONSHIP.
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Healthy relationships>>>
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being single is cool until you horny 😂
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Just cause you wear baggy cloths and pose weird doesn't mean you're a fashion icon 😂
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"Long distance relationships doesn't work" . But y'all live in the same city and it doesn't work either🤷
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I could stay here all year 😍
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This era is unmatched
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Data subscription has really taught me how drug addicts always have money for drug😥😂😂
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Living alone is crazy,you can go 5hrs without saying a single word 😂
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Come take a shot the shot:
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Tattoos look good when you have money. If you're broke,you begin to look dangerous.
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No forcing,what flows,flows.
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when y’all first start talking & y’all both replying fast and the energy good >>>>> that be the best 3 days of all time.
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Consent is Key, eiter in the bed or in the air.
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Girls be over decorating their notes for no reason... wtf is “✨𝒞𝒽ℯ𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓇𝓎✨"
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Wetin man do man
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I be like idc then throw up from anxiety.
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What an Elder sees sitting down fit be Nonsense.
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Ever seen a movie so good you started checking out the characters on Google and instagram?😂
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schools be like "mental health is important" then give you 20 assignments due at 11:59 pm.
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In primary school,I had a classmate called lekan.Whenever the class was noisy, our class prefect would yell "whoever makes noise again will marry lekan", suddenly the whole class would be quiet.😂
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80% of iPhone users don't have half of the amount their phone's worth in their account.
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Asking a Lady "can I kiss you?" Is more romantic than doing it straight up.
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Asking a Lady "can I kiss you?" Is more romantic than doing it straight up.
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Big breasts dey fine inside clothe, small breasts dey fine naked.
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When someone adds you by search on snapchat
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It's called fuelling station and not filling station. Stop embarrassing yourself.
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Nobody deserves to fall asleep at night wondering why they weren't enough.
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Sex is great but have you ever quit a job that was ruining your mental health?
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No Nigerian has seen their parents kiss.
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Let's be honest,life without God is meaningless.
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The divorce rate is high because most people are preparing for weddings and not marriage.
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Crying while explaining is a different level of pain.
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MOOD
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Parents can spot fake friends but can't even notice their depressed kids 😭
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Steff London and Burna boy probably in a room rn catching cruise and eating themselves out while y'all are out here trying to figure shit out.
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When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen,man that pressure is unreal.
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I honestly can't wait to make money. I wan know if I really be introvert abi na sapa de give me orientation.
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May we not marry somebody who doesn't see flushing the toilet after peeing as necessary.
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Idk but violence it is!!
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Church wan hire vigilante,Pastor dey ask if him get Jazz😂
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No one: Opera Mini : Top 10 rappers that drink water, number 4 will shock you.
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Eating cake at a house party is one of the riskiest decision you can take.
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Me: “nah i can’t dance” Alcohol: “yes u can,watch” 🤣🤣
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TB to some old Wizkid tweets,man was a menace 😂
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Condom is as good as skin, STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX!!
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"I promise you Tunde,it's just a 4 years course, I won't date anyone in school"
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"You're not Ayefele so what's your excuse ?" remains the darkest lyric I've ever heard 💀
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Recreate with your 3rd @
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In a black household you can't just leave,you have to clean something in exchange for your absence.
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You're 27years old dating a 17year old. How do you communicate?
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Burna boy thinks he's some US rapper,na because say na Nigeria sha 🥲
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How can this woman be a doctor? It doesn't seem right 😂
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I dated this girl for 4years,it was so serious that I had to let my mom know details about her. Not until a day,my mom came back from work and told me she was talking about my girl at work and her senior colleague said this is the girl that just got engaged to her son.
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Once you turn off your read receipt on WhatsApp, there's no going back.
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We need a shazam for perfumes.
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The divorce rate is high because most people are preparing for weddings and not marriage.
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Imagine getting chased by a dog that's not afraid of stone 😭
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“ I'm a hot girl,I do hot shit "
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Silence is golden. But when you have kids, silence is suspicious.
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Love doesn't hurt, Loving the wrong person does.
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What series made you feel this way?
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Cook as you clean,you're an adult.
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My parents think referring to them as "you guys" is disrespectful..
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Owambe has now become a battle of cleavages.
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I'm glad Cars were made, imagine riding a horse when coming back from a club at 2AM😂💀
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