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@aimhumor

21,631
Followers
439
Following
1,674
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Statuses

Trying to be funny. co-writer @yidwithsign . DM if you want to pay me for writing or something.

Brisbane, Habesarim
Joined June 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@aimhumor
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6 months
Wow, just one week into Kamala's campaign to end Islamophobia and they actually like osama now, this administration gets it done
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2 years
Dads when told there's no more room in the trunk
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4 years
I have a little dreidel I made it out of meat, and when its grilled and ready oh dreidel i shall eat
@hasidic_1
Hasidic
4 years
דריידעל
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3 years
Lubavitch couples be like..
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@aimhumor
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7 months
One of the greatest all time
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@aimhumor
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6 months
Don’t start the story from the middle, go back 2,000 years ago.
@MuhammadSmiry
Muhammad Smiry 🇵🇸
6 months
Don’t start the story from the middle, go back 75 years ago.
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2 years
BREAKING (Israel): Israeli archeologists uncover yeshiva dating back to the second temple, 5 bachurim found fully intact and unaffected by time.
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2 years
BREAKING: CDC lowers wait time between meat and milk from 6 hrs to 3 hrs.
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4 years
God to Abraham:
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2 years
Report: Bennet goes with paper and wins the first round.
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2 years
I dont normally do this, but my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl this morning 💕💕
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@aimhumor
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2 years
Maybe kanye just hasn't seen the miami boys choir sing yerushalayim
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@aimhumor
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4 years
Fun fact: "Hindsight is 2020" is a saying created by a time traveler who never wanted to go back to that year
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@aimhumor
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4 months
Big loss for hamas, not sure how they recover from losing claudine gay
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@aimhumor
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5 years
@_youhadonejob1 RedNeck Chili Peppers
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2 years
My favorite Rav Chaim Kanievsky story: when asked if one can play basketball on shabbos he asked what's basketball? They told him it's a game in which you put a ball in a basket. He responded: Can you just put the ball in the basket before shabbos
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@aimhumor
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6 months
Just so we're clear the 50 Israeli hostages are innocent women and children taken from their homes and the 150 Palestinians are criminals and terrorists
@KolHaolam
KolHaolam
6 months
ISRAEL: BREAKING: The Israeli cabinet approved the Qatar-mediated deal in which Hamas will free 50 Israeli hostages, mostly woman and children, in exchange for a four-day pause in fighting in Gaza and the release of 150 Palestinians held in Israeli prisons.
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@aimhumor
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4 years
Anyone going from Monsey to the UAE with room for a small package
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1 year
Odd name for a baby
@BerelSolomon
Berel Solomon
1 year
My wife, me, and God.
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1 year
"But thats my emotional support gemara!"
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3 years
With kosher lamps our kids will never know what its like to sit in the hallway near the bathroom Friday nights trying read hardy boys
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@aimhumor
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4 years
Heshy tischler does not represent orthodox jewry, thanks for listening
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@aimhumor
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7 months
Interesting how the pro-israel rallies never turn violent
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2 years
played goyish geography with a guy named johnson today, he's not related to johnson and johnsons or randy johnson or lyndon b johnson
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3 years
Somebody must've been using Google translate..
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6 months
Lol first they said the tunnels didn't exist, now they're saying they do but we used them to smuggle kfc
@muhammadshehad2
Muhammad Shehada
6 months
Fun fact: Gaza's tunnel industry thrived b/c of Israel's siege (2006-present) & one of the earliest uses was to smuggle KFC from Egypt🧵 We were literally being starved to near death until the 1st smuggling tunnel brought in Twinkies, crisps & biscuits, all were banned by Israel
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5 months
The reason why the pro hamas rallies always shut down bridges is because they want you to use the tunnels
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4 months
There's an otd kid in my neighborhood that does this all shabbos
@gunsnrosesgirl3
Science girl
4 months
Winnowing is a technique that involves using air currents to separate heavier particles (seeds or grains) from lighter ones (chaff, husks, debris).
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10 months
I will never not think of this legend on 7/11
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5 months
Me denying it was me, after my third powdered jelly donut
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2 years
There was zero effort put in to naming this pesach cereal product
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2 years
Dude didn't even hear havdala, got straight in the car from maariv
@MaxMannis
Max Mannis
2 years
Absolutely electric melava malka
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1 year
The story behind the photo from the man who took it: Yeshivish Guy wearing a hat and Jacket was carrying his kid, gemarah and bag and was trying to sit. The stewardess offered to hold the Gemarrah while he got the kid settled and put the bag on top.
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2 years
Not sure why I need a good secular education to run a cash advance charcuterie board ppe healthcare amazon flipping business @nytimes
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3 years
The official "you want hagba?" motion from the gabbai
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3 years
That feeling when you couldve thrown a jewish woman off a balcony and served less time
@rgilliescanada
Rob Gillies
3 years
VALENCE, France (AP) — French court sentences man who slapped President Emmanuel Macron to 18 months in prison.
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3 years
they used to want to kill us, now they just want to forcefully protect us from diseases, seems like an upgrade
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6 months
7th grade rebbeim everywhere should be using this photo when teaching hilchos tefillin, shel yad placement, yarmulke in the shel rosh, the six around the arm, straps overlapping; literally all the do nots
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3 years
Happy Chanukah! (First year going like beis shammai!)
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4 years
Found him
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2 years
All the jews on twitter will end up using the same blue check account
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2 years
**7th grade trying to dance at the first bar mitzvah of the class**
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4 years
I have a joke about a kollel guy but it doesnt work
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6 months
The irony of saying a thousands year old prayer about yearning for the return to Jerusalem
@FrumTikTok
Frum TikTok
6 months
What in tarnation? 😳 An abbreviated blended English/Hebrew prayer at #Rabbis4Ceasefire ’s public morning service outside the Capitol in Washington, D.C. today. **Kol Isha**
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@aimhumor
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3 years
Hard to really enjoy any bonfire or anything tonight after seeing the images coming out of meron, Hashem yerachem
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4 months
Just a bakasha here for the frum members of X. Not everything has to be posted here, views and likes are a drug and not worth it. If you come across a clip that may jeopardize our integrity as a community, you can send it around your little whatsapp groups, just not here.
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@aimhumor
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2 years
His wife went into labor on Friday night, as they get into the car they hear the dispatcher on the radio say to the driver "did you pick up the anitsemites yet?" 2/2
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@aimhumor
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2 years
inviting kanye and kyrie to a shul in new jersey for shabbos
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@aimhumor
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7 months
There was a ger that joined neturei karta and they asked him, of all the different sects you chose them? He said, I wanted to be jewish but I also still wanted to be an antisemite
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2 years
This just happened on a group im in, only in the frum world 😂
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3 years
I shouldn't have to say this, but if she wants a get give her a get
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7 months
Which baltimore kehila is this
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2 years
Dr. Manish Tanna Different than all the other doctors.
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2 years
"I nEeD tO sHaVe FoR bUsInEsS" Bro, three quarters of chassidim are more successful than you and never shaved in their lives
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2 years
Theres no reason those screens in shuls that have the schedules can't have the scores from the Friday night games on the bottom so we can know what happened
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6 months
Police out there arresting pavement I guess
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2 years
There will be a second superbowl for the women home with the children at 11:30
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2 years
WHAT IS HAPPENING
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3 years
Forgot to put blood on my doorpost and Santa brought me a PS5
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3 years
The way I root for countries in the Olympics is based off which killed and persecuted Jews the least throughout history
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2 years
I always picture noach standing by the door of the teva after the mabul and as each animal leaves they turn to him and say "shkoiach reb noiach" and a little part of him dies each time
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4 years
A shul jumbotron is a great idea, every aliya has stats, last aliya received, amount of aliyas gotten, a nice picture and a reason he deserves an aliya
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@aimhumor
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2 years
I will no longer be using Kanye's niggunim for when I daven for the amud
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2 years
Asking "what are you supposed to be?" will break a kids heart, just say I love the costume
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3 years
Everyone's a shul shusher until they have someone to talk to
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4 years
Someone's been learning Meseches Sukkah
@GovMurphy
Governor Phil Murphy
4 years
NEW: We’re making a change that will allow for more restaurants to offer outdoor dining. We will be allowing areas with fixed roofs that have two open sides comprising over 50% of the total wall space to be considered outdoors, in light of the air flow.
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4 years
Minneapolis is about to become Minnea
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3 years
Davening at the latte minyan
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1 year
M'Uman
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1 month
Eclipse glasses but for being able to look by birchas kohanim
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2 years
The remix is here, with permission from the man himself! Pause anything you are currently listening to
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3 years
Before you share or post the next horrifying image ask yourself if youre doing it to hock or you have a good reason, someone's son, father, or brother is in that photo or video
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4 months
Man if only that mattress didn't have a stain on it there'd be no antisemitism
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3 years
Mazel tov to David Greenberg (5 towns) and Orit Zedek (Herzliya) upon their engagement
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7 months
Why would Israel do this??
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1 year
Yosef saying over his dreams to his brothers
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4 months
You know its time to open a gemara when antisemites on twitter are learning more than you
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4 years
I had a Rebbe that told us that Gan Eden and Gehinnom are the same place and it's a Beis Medrash without a clock, and this still freaks me out sometimes
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8 months
The guy coming in to mess with the thermostat in shul during mussaf
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2 years
R' Aharon Rodgers
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1 year
"We can only go into your rebbe for 3 minutes, we still have to get to 3 morahs in boro park."
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2 years
"Donate because my yeshiva made me into the man I am today!" Bro, nobody likes the man you are today
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2 years
Good thing christmas doesn't fall out on pesach, would have santa and eliyahu hanavi running into eachother all night
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7 months
We call for days of prayer and fasting, they call for days of rage and violence, we are not the same
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2 years
went to a gender reveal party this morning, it was a boy and you're not gonna believe what they did to him right after the reveal
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2 years
Artscroll out here making me choose between righteous children, parnassah, and divine inspiration
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2 years
In the year since my unorthodox life, Julia and her daughter both got divorced, her frum ex-husband got remarried and her son seems as frum as ever, looks like her unorthodox life isn't as glamorous as she'd wanted you to see
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3 years
Decided to take the next stimulus check in cash
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2 years
Stop asking what my plans are for the summer, its not chol hamoed, im a grown man with a job and 3 kids, what do you think im gonna say? camp 1st half and a road trip second half?
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3 years
Taking a break from mental health to focus on my twitter
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2 years
In gehennom you bite into hamantashen thinking they're chocolate but they're always poppy seed
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5 years
You'd think Reuven and Shimon would just stop lending eachother money at this point.
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3 years
A kosher phone, they invented a kosher phone
@WSJ
The Wall Street Journal
3 years
A $369 cellphone slated to arrive this fall can make calls and send texts, but can't access social media, take photos or send email
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7 months
Report: Shechem calls for a ceasefire after taking Dina captive (BBC)
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1 year
Ok it's not replacing us just yet
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3 years
A Netflix show called My UnModox Life about a family that moves to Lakewood from teaneck and becomes yeshivish
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2 years
Queens be like 72nd St, 72nd Ave, 72nd Blvd, 72th St, 72rd Road
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2 years
this is how I will be answering questions going forward
@hasidic_1
Hasidic
2 years
פיין
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3 years
OnlyTalmidim, a platform where cameras are placed under a Rebbe's bed and the talmidim get to observe how to properly do the mitzvah
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@aimhumor
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2 years
how was your call with hashem?
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