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Agent Smart Profile
Agent Smart

@agentsmart

2,333
Followers
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Following
5,485
Media
51,014
Statuses

Designer. Delinquent. Demigod. I make things better.

Emerald City, Oz
Joined May 2008
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
Sometimes twitter is like diving into a cool pool on a hot summers day. Other times a nice warm bath. Nice people. Nice vibe. Sometimes it's like jumping into the surf. Fun if you know how to swim. More often it's like sharing a spa with 12 strangers and a floating band aid.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
If Sam Kerr gets arrested and thrown in a UK prison for two years for calling some stupid white bastard a stupid white bastard can we please for the love of God use it as justification to become a republic?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
Huh. We export gas to Japan who can make money by exporting it again to others... 🤔 We will likely end up buying back our own gas. We will do this rather than ensure we reserve our own gas from export for domestic use. Who fucked this up so much? And why is still like this?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
While we do have the lion's share, the existence of Senator Ralphie Babet is a timely reminder that not all faux christian, conservative, dim witted, Andrew Tate loving, science denying, narcissistic fucking idiot politicians are from Queensland. @senatorbabet #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Oh this will break the brains of a lot of people... "Gillard to chair new multi-billion dollar energy fund targeting wind, solar and batteries."
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
20 days
Hey @BreakfastNews why don't you replay that clip of Saul Eslake on afternoon briefing who said to calm the fuck down about the economy and stop using panicked rhetoric rather than hearing from fuckwits like Jane Hume or Angus Taylor? (Mr Eslake did not use those actual words)
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
Well we call them Tasmanians, and they're ok. If one makes it in we just clean them up, measure & tag them then send them back home. We think it's the lights that attract them.
@Elizabethm5327
Elizabethmila
6 months
Does Australia receive illegal immigrants from its southern boarder like how the USA receives from its southern border ?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Someone explain to me like I'm a 5 year old normal person who doesn't live in the United States so doesn't understand such a backward and confusing election process how a known grifter like Donald Trump can possibly still be eligible to become an elected leader of the country.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
1 year
Nationals want nuclear power. Gina Rinehart tells Nationals they want nuclear power. Nuclear power requires uranium. Gina Rinehart owns uranium mines. Gina Rinehart tells Nationals they want nuclear power. Nationals want nuclear power. #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, Australian senator Ralph "squeaky toy" Babet is a fucking idiot. A bloated, bile spitting clown in tight clothing. @senatorbabet
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
8 days
If the shooter didn't fire, and the apparent target wasn't even meant to be there, he just happened to decide to be there, then, on that day (🤔) can it really be called an assassination attempt? Asking for a bored and skeptical planet.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
The recent events in Bondi aren't a reason to strengthen the police force or even consider allowing shopping mall security to be armed. It's a deafening klaxon bleating at us to fix and bolster how we handle mental health in this country. We don't seem to be doing a great job.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Fun Fact. Did you know that the catholic church owns more than $30 billion worth of property in Australia and is exempt from almost all forms of taxation, and has minimal public accountability? (This was back in 2018. There might have been some movement in the market since then)
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
3 months
Peter Dutton is a fucking idiot. #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
The biggest crime here is that @senatorbabet isn't even a big enough target for a cancel culture pile on. A nobody. He is a bloated squeaky toy. He is a fucking wanker.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Neat. Spotted in Oz. Look at the width of this brick. People can't park well in regular cars, what's going to happen with this you reckon?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
If you want the ABC torn down because of shows like Speersie's #Insiders or dumbed down @BreakfastNews or think privatisation is the fix please stop & realise great programs like @4corners expose on supermarket profiteering would never happen elsewhere. Never on a commerical one.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
Reports are in that the bullet nicked one of Former President Trump's ear but made a clean exit out the other. Too soon?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
Gina Rinehart says renewable energy could use one-third of Australia’s prime agricultural land. Is she right? Of course not. She's just a greedy fucking idiot.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Coxi?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
I reckon it was the wind.
@bridgerollo
Bridget Rollason
7 months
Energy Safe Victoria will conduct an investigation into the collapse of transmission towers at Anakie. The Energy Minister has met with AEMO and the private distribution networks to discuss what more can be done to improve energy resilience #springst
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Why did the Pope say that Ukraine should peacefully accept defeat to Russia and not say that Russia should peacefully retreat from invading Ukraine?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Flamboyantly.
@KarenKn12866337
Karen Knight
7 months
This tree looks like it's sneaking out of the woods. 😁
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Agent Smart
7 months
Let me get this right, Netanyahu starts in the north, forcing Palestinians to flee south as he turns it into rubble & dust and now Netanyahu wants the terrified survivors to escape back to the rubble of the north so he can destroy the south? Ideologies aside, that's fucked up.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
We've got a lot of Trump supporters in Australia don't we?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Former PM Scott Morrison will give his final address to Parliament. Time will also be given to Scott Morrison Minister for Health, Scott Morrison Minister for Finance, Scott Morrison Minister for Industry, Energy & Resources & Scott Morrison Minister for Home Affairs & Treasury.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
Because of his age all you've done is broken his heart and taught him dad's a prick. Posting this 'life lesson' for the likes just shows the rest of us you're a dick. Super dad.
@sweatystartup
Nick Huber
2 months
This kid saved up all week for an ice cream. Spent $5. Dropped it after the 5th lick. I didn’t buy him another one. Life is hard, he took it well.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Is Israel aware of how the rest of the world now views them? Has anyone in Israel considered how things will be after the dust settles and the screams stop? I'm fairly certain any global sympathy or slim justification for retaliation ended several thousand missile strikes ago.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 years
Composed and compassionate response from Jacinda Ardern. I use to remember a time where we held those same beliefs here in Australia, sad how far we've fallen... #auspol #nzpol #christchurch
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
@notcapnamerica Only a baby. The adults can fly and spit venom.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
@AngrySageSays Yeah I complain about them.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
I'm getting hints of cat piss and chicken salt with a lingering vinegar aftertaste.
@jimaxon66
jim axon
6 months
FUCK'N DRY & AGED...
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
While the subject matter has everyone in a tizzy you have to admit that's an amazing portrait. IMO anyway.
@eliseybell
Elise Bell™️
4 months
Afraid to say Jonathan Yeo’s portrait of the King slaps. I can’t believe it.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
So much fun... So much money...
@ObsoleteSony
Obsolete Sony
5 months
Crafting your hi-fi system piece by piece has become a lost art.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
3 months
Each and every day I sit and wonder if the U.S. could get anymore fucked up and each and every day it shows me it can.
@criprights
Sam Connor
3 months
Three U.S. states have introduced bullet vending machines at grocery stores to sell ammunition. American Rounds manufactures these kiosks, which operate 24/7. Users select their desired ammunition on a touchscreen, scan their ID, and collect the bullets from the machine.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
3 months
Fucking watch me.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
Was probably a spider.
@AMAZlNGNATURE
Nature is Amazing ☘️
2 months
Gigantic 13-foot crocodile found with its head ripped off on Australian beach 😳
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
1 month
@mikebassett__ @hingo You should meet a female in the flesh sometime Mike.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
I don't even know why we even sell dark roofing in Australia. City of Cockburn to call for blanket ban on dark coloured roofing materials at 2024 National General Assembly.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
10 months
Look like you're in a shared meeting room of any serviced office on the planet Ralphie. Leftards don't rate you at all, though the fashion police might. Were denim leotards on men every really in? @senatorbabet
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
How effective is Trump's legal team going to be once it dawns on them they're not going to get paid?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Now if I was a cynical & opinionated arsehole, not just an opinionated arsehole, and taking into account how low this toejam can go, I'd be wondering if this little grab at sympathy and the revelation he was medicated will somehow form part of a mercy plea in the future. #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
@roastmalone_ Creeper. Probably rocks a beard as well yeah?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
I wonder what else the two of them spoke about. 🤔
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
My EV Test Drive recap. 🧵 We had almost 30 to test drive from these makers. Audi, BMW, BYD, Cupra, Genesis, GMW, Hyundai, KIA, Mercedes, MG, Polestar, Tesla, Volvo & VW. There were also EV trucks for us to test but we didn't bother. I drove all except the MG's & GMW.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
1 month
This is fucked up. We send over 300,000 tonnes of textile waste to landfill or offshore here in Australia EVERY SINGLE YEAR and they want to threaten this for cotton! #auspol #4corners
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
My wife and partner of 34 years, mother to our son, the sun in my solar system and holder of my heart just told you to fuck right off.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
Like an evil iced vovo.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
Zoe Daniel is fucking schooling Speersie with intelligence and grace. #insiders
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
It took a cyclone forming up in the top end for me to learn there is a place in Australia called Bing Bong. The education system has failed me.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
8 months
Man 1: "Did a Barnaby last night, embarrassed myself in front of the managers. Bad. Was a mess, nearly Morrissoned my pants. Got to meet with the big boss on Monday and hope I'm not Turnbulled" Man 2: "Nah, you're arsey. Probably get Portered with a new title & pay rise" #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Thinking of adding a roo bar. Thoughts?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
I think muting people is way more fun than blocking them. I like to imagine us both in the same room with me on a comfy couch watching a movie on a big screen with surround sound atmospherically loud and they're trapped shouting in a fridge I've pushed door-side against a wall.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
25 days
This is Remy. I am in his house. We are bonding. Say g'day Remy.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
22 days
Now that I'm meant to hate Nick Cave & remove him from all human record am I allowed like Tim Minchin again? And which Twitter user is the person I'm supposed to hate today? I really don't pay attention so may have missed the memo. I'm getting exhausted salting all this earth.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
Why do people take what should be such a mundane and insignificant blip in their lives and funnel uncontrolled emotion into reacting like this? "EV culture war: Ford Ranger driver arrested for vandalising four Tesla Superchargers"
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
3 months
I have one. As does my twin sister.
@billifer1973
Billifer 🇨🇦
3 months
Who has one?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
10 days
This little gremlin can legally drink today.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
So is Linda Hurley going to release a farewell album? What about a tour? #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
@girldrawsghosts I'm guessing the "keep car intact" feature is subscription only.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
Modern, colonised Australia, being relatively young, gets a lot of flack as having no real culture but one of the cool things we do here is mark the significance of boxing day and as a way to welcome in the coming new year is the displaying of the buns with crosses.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Man I'd like to buy this bloke a beer.
@pizza_marcus
The Prophet Marcus Pizza
5 months
From q&a More (actual independent) experts yelling at politicians so they look sheepish and in trouble please. Part 1 because of limits
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
Been awhile but trying to get back into sketching with a pencil instead of drawing with a mouse. Rusty. But feels good. Pencils flow. No click. No undo. Not a single AI prompt was given.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
The wait is over.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
*laughs in Australian*
@Totally_Brandon
BRANDON (DARK MAGA)
6 months
You can drive 9.5 hrs in North Carolina and still be in North Carolina. The European mind cannot comprehend this.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
My business partner and I are going to test drive over 20 electric cars on a racetrack tomorrow. I can not wait.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
This has been entertaining. His foot was removed the second after I took the shot. My question was irrelevant. Some of you think he committed an atrocity. To his credit, He's 17 He is an A grade student He's been a black belt since he was 10, now an instructor. He is a gentleman
@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Should I reprimand my son for putting his foot on the seat?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Wow. Check out this smarmy fucker. I thought it was Morrison's younger brother for a moment. Great to see a journalist actually pull up a politician rather than let him ramble on. Well done Sarah. He still rambled on a bit but.
@skyowl_
Skyowl_
7 months
When you get caught out lying to the Australian public you just ignore the question and keep going They can’t tell the truth because it would prove their policy is ridiculous!
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
5 months
Should I reprimand my son for putting his foot on the seat?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Sounds rather aggressive. Sounds like something a christian would say.
@Timcast
Tim Pool
7 months
it should be illegal to not believe in God
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Agent Smart
1 month
Shouldn't laugh... (I am so laughing).
@Intel_Dork
IntellectualDorkWeb
1 month
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
3 months
I thought farmers were against renewables? Everything the Nationals have told me was a lie! #auspol Electrifying the farm: ‘it could add $100,000 a year to our bottom line’
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
Herr TuberFührer was a cop for not even a decade over 30 years ago, a short period of time. He has however been a property developer for well over 30 years. Still is. Why do people think his time as a cop influences his actions and not the other things? #auspol
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 days
I really want to know the name of the person at the Australian Broadcasting Corporation that approved the first headline, and the one that changed it. @abcnews
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
A PERFECT album from the 1990s that ISN'T Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden or Alice In Chains.
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@RossFloate
Ross Floate
6 months
A PERFECT album from the 1990s that ISN'T Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden or Alice In Chains.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
11 days
Robin has been liking each and every one of my tweets the second I tweet them for the past day or so. Call me shallow but I think she might be the one... 😍
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
28 days
*cackles wildly in Australian*
@anon_opin
Anon Opin
28 days
People who kill spiders in their house aren't just arseholes, but also idiotic morons. The spider is never going to hurt you, ever. Meanwhile it's providing a free pest control service for you, eating unwanted bugs. That's how the spider pays its rent to live with you.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
23 days
Be a marine biologist they said. You'll just be playing with dolphins & turles they said.
@horrormuseum
Hollywood Horror Museum
23 days
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
3 months
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
Sheesh, there's nothing like visiting your 80 yr old folks to be reminded there's a type of subtle racism resting so deeply within older white Australians as to be oblivious to them. I don't think they mean to be racist, we weren't taught any hate growing up. But then they speak.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
4 months
It's potato scallop, not potato cake.
@EdgeOErin1
Edge O. Erin
4 months
Two people enamored with one another are about to have sex. In six words or less, what would totally derail the intimate encounter?
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
9 months
American vehicles are morbidly obese. Big truck. Normal parking spot. Small willy.
@Auto_Porn
Car Porn
9 months
all white Ford Raptor.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
2 months
It's cool that the squeaky toy is a doing a purge but someone needs to stay unblocked from this chode so we can keep an eye on what the pit stain is doing.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
6 months
I think he just means that one kid. You know the one I mean.
@ShaunLeaneMP
Shaun Leane
6 months
Spectacular
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
This might be my last tweet. If I'm not heard from again please submit this QT as evidence.
@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
Why does Putin bother with the charade of a democratic election?
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Agent Smart
5 months
I'm sorry what? The Bureau of Meteorology has warned a severe geomagnetic storm event is expected to impact Earth from about 8pm AEST on Friday.
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@agentsmart
Agent Smart
7 months
This is going to be bigger than Scott & Charlene.
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