Q @UptownBimbo Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@kotonoha0425

@onemillioncubs

@ordjingle

@renneirvate

@LufkinECHS

@ACRunnersSoccer

@srtakwon

@aikotaldea

@zoo_fukurotoji

@ribbonnb_ART

@TruSanKyuu

@UMDPublicPolicy

@utafes_icot

@CBCPEI

@Matthew_Hutch4

@kloefroebe

@EliEgger4

@GLITZYstage

@MGallagher17

@shilohskyhawks

@D_HOOD11

@miguelolmoforte

@chacha_fin

@Killer_Frogs

@roulhette

@DTigerBaseball

@lXdzh5HHeYqey7e

@Brady_ladusau22

@WestonPolk

@BAPTIST_JONN

@pdracht

@carly_e_paugh

@acervomegay

@MinhDuy30279783

@mat_uwu

@FutHore

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@UptownBimbo

11 months

Architectural Digest could never

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Whoever got rid of these seats didn’t have a girlfriend

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Please pray for my bf, he has been on the toilet for 28 minutes

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Real men will put any part of their girl’s body in their mouth

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I asked him if i should get a nose job and he said “no. your nose is perfect.” I asked him if i should get a boob job and he said “whatever you want baby”

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Prepping the bird!

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

NOOOOOOOOO. GIVE HIM BACK.

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

If he doesn’t get a boner when you cry, he’s not the one

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I joined Twitter to shitpost, now im rubbing beef fat on my face twice a day

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and breedable

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Bf who’s flat broke, gf who’s flat chested

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Women close their eyes during sex because they can’t stand to see a man having a good time

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Bf who has you muted on Twitter

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

“All girls are the same” okay bro go date a dude already

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@UptownBimbo

1 year

I told my bf I wouldn’t bake him cookies, so he took 2 shots of whiskey and is listening to sad country music

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I love Trailer Park Boys!

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

A-cup girl talking to me about the economy. Yeah bitch you know about inFLATion alright 😭🤣

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Looks like shit

The Oregonian

@Oregonian

2 years

A Massachusetts cannabis company is claiming it set a world record when it baked a marijuana-infused brownie that weighed 850 pounds. The brownie contained 20,000 mg of THC, which would make it several thousand times stronger than the normal dosage

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Men love stores that have places to sit

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I let him hit because he fire reacted my foot pic

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Nobody: My bf when I’m doing my eyeliner:

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

If he drives the speed limit in the left lane that’s a red flag

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I have never seen any of these movies

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

There are 2 wolves inside you

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527

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Asking my bf if he would still love me if I was a man and getting upset when the answer is no

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559

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

i fricken love my stupid little funny cozy frog bf i wanna squeeze him aaaaaa

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Men get green lines drawn on their pics once and are never the same

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Ratio

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473

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Men be like “women 🙄” and get 3k likes

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483

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Sitting on his lap and cuddling him while he’s on the toilet mid shit

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Men will literally be like “my back hurts” but sleep on a 20 year old mattress and only own 1 pillow

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@UptownBimbo

1 year

Engaged 🥰🥰🥰

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

1

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Life is pointless

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Bf who doesn’t wash his sheets,gf who doesn’t wash her bras

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@UptownBimbo

10 months

NYC apartments be like: “5k a month nothing included”

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

If i was was a man i would tweet the grossest shit i could think of

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I cannot stop thinking about my new dress 👼🏻

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

I came home yesterday to him sitting on my sofa in the dark and had a heart attack.

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I love my bf, so true

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

⚠️This account is not @jokesdepartment ⚠️

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

My cowboy 💃😈 @jokesdepartment

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

@nocertainlynot Just stop being a weird thot online. It’s embarrassing for you

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

*desperate for annoying schizo dick* wow tell me more about seed oils

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Pussy so good he’s doing the dishes

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

@nocertainlynot Girl don’t u have a boyfriend

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Bf wanted chili and cornbread so that’s what he got!! 😋

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

You telling me a chicken fried this steak??

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Bitches will cry about white people being “colonizers,” then go shoplift at Target

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

You need to be sniffing him. Smelling his glands. Snorting his sweat. Inhaling his scent.

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

If a man can’t change his own oil he has no business owning a car

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Women will use any slight change in weather as justification to buy new clothes

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

The feminine urge to know when he’ll be home

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Santa Claus? I fucked him

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@UptownBimbo

1 year

The first boy who ever kissed me is a tranny now lol

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250

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

I know it smell crazy in there

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

It’s called marking my territory

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

I asked my sister what her favorite scam is and she said oil changes. Woman moment 😭😭

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Whipping the egirls in my basement until they come up with a banger tweet for me

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Even when bf is running late to work in the morning, he always makes sure to give me a cuddle and kiss before he go

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

This is the ideal male form. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

The feminine urge to call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you ate today

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Brunch is a female trait

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7

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

👍🏻 <— for white people 👍🏼 <— for asians 👍🏽 <— for hispanics 👍🏾 <— for black people 👍🏿 <— for italians

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

@grasseater14

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

He calls me إرهابي the way my pussy so bomb

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Just told my boyfriends father that God created science so humans can colonize space

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Bf who steals 18 water bottles from his workplace for you

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166

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

What would we lose if we nuked Haiti. Other than a nuke

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

My man won me the biggest stuffed animal at the whole county fair 🥰

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

When you beat the cracker allegations

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3

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

I want to live at the Renaissance fair

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148

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I’m evil bc I be sending my broke besties links to clothes like “this on you 🔥🔥” knowing they can’t afford that shit

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

*desperate for pussy voice* lmk when you’re free to hang out or have sex

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

“Where’s Jug? Where’s Jugs?” he is locked in my basement screaming for help, stfu

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I lost my autistic bf in the grocery store

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

It is my birfday 👼🏻🥂

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I am going to steal his seed

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

First date idea: i make passionate love to you while you beg for your life and an escape out of my basement

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@UptownBimbo

9 months

In my head i am a Navy Seal. Deadly and athletic

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I love wearing loud shoes. Click click click I’m here bitch

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144

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I just got catcalled by a white, blonde haired finance bro. What is happening in the world ??

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I’m losing. Time to take this pussy out

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I’m in a rivalry with my boyfriend’s cat

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@UptownBimbo

1 year

Bf: “so true. Babe let’s do anal”

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156

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

I f*cking love my boyfriend

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140

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Please pray for me, he beat it tf up 🙏🏻 (also I am dying of COVID)

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Can i sit at the trad girl table now?

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 2002

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

How tf do you have trauma. Just get over it 🤣🤣

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

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@UptownBimbo

3 years

Burning down his house so he has to come live with me

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130

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@UptownBimbo

11 months

@pyroxiumn The french fry leg on the chair… incredible

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152

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Drawing smiley faces on his dick pics

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

😈😈😈

James

@MKUltraMoney

2 years

Sam is having a girls night tonight…

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132

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

Kitchen aid mixer attachments are like gun attachments for women

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@UptownBimbo

2 years

The people are TIRED

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