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The Beaverton Profile
The Beaverton

@TheBeaverton

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302
Following
5,999
Media
20,289
Statuses

North America’s Trusted Source Of News. Now accepting support on Kofi and selling merch at

North America
Joined May 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Breaking: Satirical News Website now makes funny t-shirts.
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Rogers offers Canada's fastest, most reliable outages across the country
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Reminder: The Beaverton is Canada's most preferred source of fake news unlike our competitors at Rebel Media or the Toronto Sun #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Putin determines cyber attack against Canada not necessary since Rogers is far more effective #rogersoutage #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Healthcare worker convoy cancelled again due to 16-hour hospital shift #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Small-dicked man still manages to fuck himself #NewsInPhoto #AndrewTate
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
"What do we want?" "All COVID restrictions lifted" "When do we want it?" "Last month when it happened" #OttawaOccupation #RollingThunder
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
5 years
Update: Maxime Bernier too racist even for Quebec #elxn43 #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Ottawa Police declare protest peaceful so long as public avoids it for their own safety #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Update: Peaceful protest requires journalists to hire body guards #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
"This isn't my Canada!" tweets Texas man #cdnpoli #OccupationOttawa
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Emergencies Act report finds that assholes were indeed assholes #cdnpoli #convoy
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Stabbed man who got hit by 3 cars then thrown off a bridge probably died from the vaccine
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Liz Truss resigns after long, illustrious reign of power spanning two British monarchs #LizTrussPM #LizTruss
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Pierre Poilievre asks extremist group to go back to threatening other peoples' families #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Ottawa pleads with Vancouver to send cyclists immediately for law enforcement #cdnpoli #bcpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Since everyone is doing it, we also demand the Prime Minister meet with us
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Unvaccinated truckers demand Canada's government change US government's rules on unvaccinated truckers #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Police asked to fill in at offices, retail work while Ottawa residents do their job for them
@Gray_Mackenzie
Mackenzie Gray
2 years
At Bank and Riveraide, counter protestors have held up a number of cars attempting to join up with the convoy folks. Here video at the numbers of cars held up, sent to me by a counter protestor #cdnpoli #ottnews
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
9 months
Attention @Meta we will not allow our reputation to be sullied by being categorized as "news".
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Breaking: Canada loses Conservative Leadership Race #PierrePoilievre #skippy
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Ottawa Police announce laws will now be enforced #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
How it started: How it's going:
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Fully vaccinated Albertans offer Jason Kenney $100 to move back to Ontario, never return #ableg
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Misinformed horse uses COVID-19 vaccine to treat worm infestation
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
11 months
Breaking: Canada loses Alberta election
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Ontario LTC Minister Fullerton in isolation after brief exposure to accountability #onpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Food banks dissolve after Canadian families find missing $13.99/month needed to avoid starvation
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
James Reimer can’t wear Pride jersey due to Christianity even though Bible also bans working on sabbath, coughing up 3 goal lead to Bruins in Game 7 #Reimer #JamesReimer
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 months
Bell cuts 4800 jobs to create more participants for next Bell Let's Talk Day
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Study: Best way to get rid of a body is to check it as luggage with Air Canada
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
4 years
Fabricland files for bankruptcy after biggest customer fired from Coach's Corner
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
“I’m not going to get vaccinated just to comply with arbitrary public safety rules,” says cop who makes living writing speeding tickets
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Update: Anti-masker wondering how he will deal with tear gas #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
US Supreme Court rules woman's life ends at conception
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
7 months
Anti-LGTBQ “Million March For Children” outnumbered by “Billion March For Not Being Bigots” #1MillionMarch4Chidren #TransRightsAreHumanRights #MillionMarchCanada
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Pierre Poilievre marches in solidarity with brave part-time soldiers afraid of needles #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Well, somebody took that rather personally.
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Plywood shack with explosive fuel in back already has real estate agent, selling for $950,000 #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Nova Scotia baffles experts by listening to them about lockdown, actually doing lockdown
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Poll: Have you been vaccinated or are you voting Conservative? #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
8 months
Pretending to be flight attendant closest Poilievre has been to having a real job #cdnpoli #poilievre
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Study: Only thing angrier than an anti-vax trucker is a Vancouver cyclist #cdnpoli #bcpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
5 years
CBC projects majority of voters laughing at Maxime Bernier losing his seat #elxn43 #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Ford unsure if he should sell Ontario healthcare system to Loblaws, Tim Hortons, or Nestlé #onpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Life Advice: Claiming you're penniless to judge while taking a private jet to your wife's bail hearing a bad idea #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Quiz: Do you have a police force in your city or do you live in Ottawa?
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
4 years
Canada announces it will exclusively import COVID-19 from US #LockdownCanada #cdnpoli #JustinTrudeau #coronavirus #COVID19
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Lifelong professional politician who lives in $4.2 million government housing insists he’s just like you #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Poll: When seeing a Canadian flag, 56% of Canadians now instinctively mutter "fuck you, anti-vaxxer" #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Amber Alert issued for 52-year-old premier #ableg
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Emergency alert warns Albertans of incompetent premier #ableg
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Update: Billions of trucks expected at Ottawa rally, say organizers #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
9 months
Being hated by Piers Morgan, Jordan Peterson et al. most likeable thing about Justin Trudeau
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
10 months
Pierre Poilievre vows to hold Trudeau accountable for Taylor Swift leaving Canada out of tour dates
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Poll: Majority of Canadians willing to vote for whatever politician promises to slap Galen Weston Jr. in the face
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Ottawa Police warn any St. Patrick's Day disorder will be promptly addressed in 3 weeks
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Counter protesters also referred to as Ottawa Residents Who Don't Have Time For This Bullshit #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Update: Just a few bad apples waving swastika/Confederate flags, stealing food from homeless, dancing on National War Memorial, defacing Terry Fox statue, assaulting journalists, storming Rideau Centre maskless
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
9 months
BREAKING: The Beaverton considered news now, apparently #Facebook
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Liberals drop COVID restrictions now that 'keeping people alive' no longer polls well
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Fugitive Trump’s attempt to flee to Mexico thwarted by big wall #TrumpIndictment #TrumpIndicted
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Drug dealer shockingly bad at getting people drugs #FordFailedThePeople #FordfailedOntario
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 month
We could tweet a joke about Law & Order Toronto investigating you for stealing jokes, but you’d just steal that too you fucking hacks.
@6ixbuzztv
6ixBuzzTV
1 month
Law & Order Toronto criticized as unrealistic after it showed Toronto Police officers trying to solve crimes
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Ottawa Police insist tear gas, rubber bullets must be reserved for future Greenpeace protests #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
11 months
Alberta continues to Alberta in monumentally embarrassing display of Alberta
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
9 months
Scientists confirm summer temperature spike following right wing meltdown over Trudeau tweet
@JustinTrudeau
Justin Trudeau
9 months
We’re team Barbie.
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Ottawa police chief reminds officers not to join protests this time #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Are you a single mother from Chilliwack, BC whose account was frozen due to the Emergencies Act and not made up by the creative imagination of a Conservative MP? Please tell is about it #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Hundreds of occupiers report themselves trampled to death #cdnpoli #Ottawa
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Elon Musk suspended from Twitter for impersonating competent businessman
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 months
We're trying to come up with something stupider than this, but it isn't easy
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 months
Alberta Premier Marlaina Smith bans kids from going by their preferred name
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Peaceful guns, democratic machetes seized from Alberta border protesters #cdnpoli #ableg
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Bee now leading poll for Ontario Liberal leader #onpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Leafs fan not going to shut up about this for the next 18 years
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Doug Ford relieved to have paid sick days after workplace COVID exposure #onpoli #COVID19
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Opinion - Help! I bought a 300 lbs tiger to attack my political opponents, but I didn't know it would try to eat me too! By: The Honourable Candice Bergen #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
New York Times reports "Prime Minister Bonhomme orders Mounties to open fire on protestors in Celine Dion Square" #Ottawa #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Last remaining leaders of Freedom Convoy removed from Ottawa Police Services Board #onpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
6 months
Media promise to start covering Pierre Poilievre’s transphobic comments as soon as they finish 50th story on how Liberals are unpopular
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Galen Weston defends $3 million raise by asking “Have you seen how expensive stuff is getting lately?”
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Trudeau's Obama, Clinton endorsements lead O'Toole to unveil own high profile American endorsement #elxn44 #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Lisa LaFlamme enjoys reporting on life of woman who got to keep job beyond age 58
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
1 year
Everything went to hell when Swiss Chalet took the Toblerone out of the Festive Special
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Conservatives demand Trudeau end ‘Freedom Convoy’ protest they fully support and hope continues
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
5 years
Doug Ford knocks on cellar door to see if it's okay to come out #elxn43 #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Failure of public education system continues display on Parliament Hill #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Shovelling snow found to be number 1 cause of Canadians muttering 'fuck this fucking shit' over and over
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
CBC and CTV announce you can go to bed #cdnpoli #Elxn44
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Police operations halted by occupiers' towering 2 ft snow wall #cdnpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
4 years
Quebec suddenly fine with people covering their faces #quebec
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
Doug Ford declares Monday September 19th “Cry At Your Desk Day”
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
8 months
Report: There’s no College of Satire Writers, so we’re allowed to call Jordan Peterson a hateful little bitch without consequence
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Feminist publication Toronto Sun unable to find female columnist to tell women how to vote #cdnpoli #Elxn44
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Ford calls for immediate action in 4 days #onpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Doug Ford wins Best Actor for his performance pretending to care about people dying of Covid #Oscars #Oscars2021
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
3 years
Ford denies charge he's turned Ontario into a police state, because it's a province #onpoli
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@TheBeaverton
The Beaverton
2 years
"100 000 cases a day totally worth this" thinks man walking maskless into KFC
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