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Tex Profile
Tex

@TexTheLaw

13,813
Followers
2,097
Following
13,330
Media
273,219
Statuses

Shadow Solicitor. Parody Account. Twicilian. Gooner. #IbadanBoy . Music man. Family guy. DJ Tex.

Joined June 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
London employers go dey wonder why their naija origin employees productivity dey lower than usual this week. Na umbilical cord cause am.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 months
Did you delve into the manual though?
@NejeebBello
Nejeeb Bello Oyarese
2 months
I don read my fridge manual from front to back, up to down, inside-out. I no see where dem say make we dey off the freezer once-once. 😐
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 months
Why did he tetch the ball?
@_owurakuampofo
Owuraku Ampofo
5 months
Ghana conceded from this corner. Richard Ofori I have no words for you man. Just pack your bags and leave.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 months
Naija politician starter pack. As we embark on this journey to foster peace and prosperity amongst our people, rest assured that our focus will be on harnessing the vibrancy of our youths, to empower them and unlock their great potential, at this crucial moment in our history.
@lianafricker
Liana Fricker
2 months
@paulg See also: foster, embark, empower, harness, unlock, unleash and crucial😅
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
Not because the person hiding inside said her last album was wack?
@UberFacts
UberFacts
4 years
In 2016, a swarm of 20,000 bees followed a car for two days straight because their queen was trapped inside.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 month
Delivery and Coordination of what?
@Imranmuhdz
Imran Muhammad
1 month
President Tinubu has also approved the appointment of Zeni Christine St. John as Special Assistant to the President on Delivery and Coordination.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Cos it ain't exclusive until other folks know they can't come.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 months
Always wanting American-type adulation for North Korean-type administration.
@Brightgoldenboy
SP. Bright Edafe
3 months
When an American citizens wake up in the morning, he says God bless America, here in Nigeria, what do we do or say, we curse and abuse the country and leaders unknown to us that, by extension, we are cursing our children and generations to come. Join me and say "GOD BLESS…
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 years
You guys, I just spotted something. What is "Elliot" when you read it backwards???
@MobilePunch
Punch Newspapers
5 years
Desmond Elliot under fire for inaugurating toilet
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Men need to stop treating the sexual urge as uncontrollable. You're not going to take a dump inside church/mosque no matter how pressed you are. That's arguably a more primal and uncontrollable urge than sex. We are not beasts nau.
@channelstv
Channels Television
3 years
JUST IN: Baba Ijesa Faces Possible Life Imprisonment As Lagos Govt Set To File Charges
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 years
See who came to press my doorbell and ask for my vote this morning.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
1. It's an honest job. 2. Rode in a naija guy's Uber a couple of months ago & he showed me the income side onhis app. No less than £1k/week on the average. I reckon he's taking good care of his family.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
No, I already told you - I don't bloody remember you from my christening!!!
@AmymAisme
Amyish
3 years
Caption this
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 months
They found a Boko Haram terrorist kingpin in a Governor's lodge too, back in the day.
@Yemihazan
YH
5 months
They found a stolen Toyota in the house of a retired AIG... I'm tired of this country fr 😂
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
20 days
Can I just ask again for clarity - are they saying that the coastal highway will no longer pass through the area they demolished a few weeks ago?
@ParallelFacts
Parallel Facts
21 days
LANDMARK: Amid Demolitions, FG to Abandon Lagos-Calabar Highway Realignment Due to Submarine Cables The Federal Government of Nigeria has announced its decision to abandon the proposed Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway realignment.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
Never ever did I think I would see goodness, prudence, accountability being counted as negatives in a candidate.
@DailyPostNGR
Daily Post Nigeria
1 year
Nigeria doesn’t need a good man as President – Chidoka shades Peter Obi
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
@Bisolaaa And she's lying down o. Can't be more than 60% of her powers
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
LOL - people dey club, dey booze for Dubai o. Hisbah dey break bottle for Kano.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
2009 2019
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
18 days
Random memory yesterday, how one of my friends in Uni nearly had to do an extra year because they “couldn’t find” some of his elective results. So went into the various file rooms with admin staff and dug them out. Then HOD said collation deadline had passed, that sorry.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 month
I had a colleague who lived with her ex/divorced husband for nearly 10 years, so they could raise the kids together. And that question you want to ask, the answer, according to her, is no. The answer to the follow-on question is also no.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Today na eloquence we dey forget. The list of things to forget is growing o.
@biolaodetola
Life of AO🦝
2 years
Forget eloquence, what metrics did you guys use to actually rate Peter Obi ahead of Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu? Someone should school me, please.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
What if your child is a minister of the federal republic?
@channelstv
Channels Television
3 years
Report Your Children, Relatives If They Aid Terrorism, Buni Tells Yobe Residents
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Ah, rice, o compatriots!!
@BashirAhmaad
Bashir Ahmad
2 years
The Abuja rice pyramids are being dismantled, I am sure some of us are still expecting to see a hidden wooden structure so they can validate their earlier claims. But another disappointment. The paddy rice is being distributed to many rice mills across the nation for processing.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 years
Nna, these people didn't move away? Anything that happens to them this season, na dem sabi.
@Gizmodo
Gizmodo
5 years
The episode titles for Stranger Things 3 have been revealed
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 years
Armed Robber will not come to my own house in Jesus's name! Amen!
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
6 months
Dem sef go soon demand right to bear firearms. So they can fight fire with fire.
@TheYemiKing
King
6 months
Fire service camo? Why? Are they camouflaging from fire?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
19 Governors quiet in the face of an ongoing crisis. We only hear from them when they want to declare that power must remain in Afbanditstan.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
YAHAYA BELLO WEY DELETE 5 ROADS TO BLOCK NATASHA?? SAME YAHAYA BELLO? HAHAHA!
@channelstv
Channels Television
1 year
Yahaya Bello Promises Fair Play In Kogi APC Gov Primary
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Ali write exam Ali mark himself Ali hail himself Ali celebrate
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
26 days
The issue is *CHILD* marriage, not merely marriage. People aren’t anti-marriage; they are anti CHILD marriage. Why are YOU pro-CHILD marriage?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
🥲"Whether we like it or not, Agriculture is the future of this nation." 🥲
@SkySportsNews
Sky Sports News
3 years
Christian Eriksen will be fitted with a heart-starter device following his cardiac arrest at #Euro2020
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
Meanwhile not a single quote of something inciting Obi has said. I never see this kain thing before.
@vanguardngrnews
Vanguard Newspapers
1 year
‘This is treason’— FG warns Peter Obi against fanning insurrection
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 months
Why do the police need barracks? Why can’t they live in the communities they police?
@GuardianNigeria
The Guardian Nigeria
2 months
NPF faces housing shortage, IGP calls for N100 billion fund. 🏠
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Can we at least agree, on principle, that a candidate with drug indictments in his past should not be anyone's president?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
When SARS officers take people to ATMs at gunpoint and demand all the money in their accounts, it is armed robbery in its purest form. So #EndSARS !
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Fireboy and Ed Sheeran at the Peru (Summer Version) video shoot. Peru Para.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 month
Code switch to naija English and this would be a hilarious headline
@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
1 month
Doctor finds his car wrecked after away match
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Meanwhile, every day someone is missing or being kidnapped, villages are being sacked, Boko Haram is making gains. WHAT DOES THE DSS CONSIDER TO BE ANARCHY????
@thecableng
TheCable
3 years
BREAKING: We’ll no longer tolerate those seeking to throw Nigeria into anarchy, says DSS | TheCable
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
1. What law makes it illegal for people to use the app? 2. If such a law exists, what punishment does it prescribe? 3. If no such law exists, what is this SAN doing???
@thecableng
TheCable
3 years
JUST IN: Malami orders prosecution of Twitter ban violators | TheCable #TwitterSuspendedinNigeria
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
Obi said nothing divisive. Obi said nothing ethnocentric. Obi just gave hope of good governance. Face the people who did the opposite.
@DonSilsz
Silva-Ope Oladipupo
1 year
Obi’s candidacy came with so much division & hate…tribal division, religious division even family and friends have been divided all for this cause. Isn’t this enough for these so-called “Prophets of Baal” to understand that God was never having it with this dude?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Who never declare, hands in the air! No hands?
@PremiumTimesng
Premium Times
2 years
Akpabio joins presidential race
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
6 years
That a Governor can be caught on video accepting bribes and not a gaddem thing will happen.
@idillionaire
Idil Ahmed
6 years
What did 2018 teach you?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
THIS GUY STOLE THE MACE AT THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
@GuardianNigeria
The Guardian Nigeria
2 years
Dein of Agbor confident Omo-Agege "will do an amazing job" as Delta governor | The Guardian Nigeria News - Nigeria and World News
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
There once was a bloke, Fani Kay Who tweeted in gross disarray Of dubious vaccines Of conspiracines And yet got his own jab today
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
We avv to know what rilly abbunned abowdi lishullov banned.
@MobilePunch
Punch Newspapers
4 years
NURTW talking to Lagos govt on Okada/Keke ban – MC Oluomo #OkadaBan
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Quitting a job you don't like, without an alternative means to keep liveable earnings coming in, will not make you happier or less stressed. Unfortunately.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
18 days
You lost the results, he found them. He didn’t fail the courses. But he just has to swallow the bitter pill of an extra year for nothing. Ah, I went and brought big professors to drag HODs ass.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 month
All calm and peaceful at my polling station. Voting materials not delayed. Verified and voted in under 2 mins. Tempted to stay to defend my vote, but nobody is dragging it with me…
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
6 months
By which power or section of the constitution?
@kc_journalist
Journalist KC
6 months
BREAKING: President Tinubu directs all impeachment proceedings initiated against Governor Fubara by the Rivers State House of Assembly led by Speaker Martin to be dropped with immediate effect.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
This is the insincerity of the FGN & Police about #EndSARS laid bare and why all the people who say "Government has disbanded SARS, so be reasonable and go home" got short shrift.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
26 days
Life is so binary for 16 year old girls in northern Nigeria.
@HAHayatu
Hamma
27 days
"I rather see a 16 years old girl married than seeing her prostituting or even having premarital sex" Imam Yusuf
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
So police full Lagos like this naim cult dey fight without hindrance for their HQ doormutt
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
30 birthdays
@PulseNigeria247
Pulse Nigeria
3 years
What must a man have by the age of 30?⁣
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
Everybody rescued from SARS/Police came out with bruises and swollen eyes. Part of why FGN must #EndSARS and #EndPoliceBrutalityinNigeria . Default police behaviour cannot be rough-handling everyone they arrest.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
It's abnormal behaviour to ignore your partner for 2 days at any time sha.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
12 days
Apart from the injustice of it all, there’s a way that describing this thing as cybercrime makes our justice system look like it’s run by cavemen.
@AmnestyNigeria
Amnesty International Nigeria
12 days
Amnesty International calls on the Nigerian authorities to free Chioma Okoli and drop all charges against her. The Nigeria Police charged Chioma Okoli with cybercrime offenses for review of a tomato paste shared on social media.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Only one of the purpoted "GOATs" has the voice + lyrics + stagecraft to carry the crown. He's also first in alphabetical order.
@the49thstreet
49th.
2 years
What opinion on Nigerian music would get you in this position?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
The Kyari facts hashtag should be a thing of shame to our veteran journalists in Nigeria. Not one of them raised, even briefly (for example), how a Cambridge-trained lawyer reconciled being in a govt that routinely disobeyed court orders. Just awesome WhatsAppery.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Na IELTS dey save Ole.
@MirrorFootball
Mirror Football
3 years
Zinedine Zidane 'learning English' and turns down another job as he closes in on Man Utd
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
5 years
Ahn ahn??? Just because they're sending him to the market with money everyday? So harsh!
@MobilePunch
Punch Newspapers
5 years
Buhari’s administration treats Osinbajo like a glorified houseboy —Akin Osuntokun
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Overall best in chocolates. For real.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 months
The Constitution says I am a citizen if my parents or grandparents are citizens, not if my Local Government Chairman says I am one. This LG letter is an extra-legal condition that you have added. It proves nothing and has no constitutional backing.
@nigimmigration
Nigeria Immigration Service
2 months
Thank you very much for this “question”. First off, you DO NOT necessarily NEED to go to your state of origin to get the “indigenship document”. We are aware that most states have liaison offices in other states. For example, Anambra state has liaison offices in Lagos (Eti-Osa)…
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Tex
4 years
😄😄😄 we should cc lettersofnote
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Wallahi, we can never have a jury based system of justice in this country.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
8 months
Wait, wait, wait, wait... his lawyer's name is WHAAAAT!!??!!
@SamdGreat01
Samuel Ajayi 🇳🇬🗣️🌐
8 months
Tinubu's lawyer, Oluwole, joined the deposition online but didn't say a word, even though his name was mentioned multiple times literally and figuratively during the deposition
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Has any Police reform happened since last year's protests? NO Are Nigerians any safer from the threat of kidnap and false imprisonment by policemen? NO Has there been justice for all the names we read out during last year's processions? NO Should we stop screaming #EndSARS ?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
BREAKING: Commanding Officer of the 5 Mech Div of the BAT Army revealed!
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
She wished the Queen an excruciatingly painful death. He called her out on it. Which one is target on back and harassment?
@1hood
1Hood
2 years
Dr. @UjuAnya describes the harassment she experienced after being targeted by Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos and how she fearlessly responded (warning, strong language). For the full interview go to
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Being out of passport booklets - does that happen because someone forgot to order them or pay the contractor? How does it happen?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
The punishment for sitting outside during a curfew cannot be death. So take your stupid takes and opinions and throw them away.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
21 days
If you ask the army where they got these powers, silly Nigerians will be defending them in your mentions.
@LeaguesReporter
Leagues Reporter
22 days
The members of Nigerian Army reportedly had the dreadlocks of former Super Eagles forward Uche Nwafor, cut off in onitsha today, despite identification.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
There is no stench of scandal too putrid, to rancid, to stifle the average Nigerian politician's ambition.
@PremiumTimesng
Premium Times
1 year
10th House: Despite murder trial, House leader, Doguwa joins speakership race
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
$Penury
@GazetteNGR
Peoples Gazette
3 years
CBN to launch own digital currency by year end: Official
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
Feminism is being pro-women, not anti-men. And no, they’re not the same thing. But you knew this already.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
23 days
Under what law is the army authorised to shut civilian premises or investigate incidents involving civilians?
@HQNigerianArmy
Nigerian Army
23 days
UPDATE ON THE CLOSURE OF BANEX PLAZA, ABUJA Following the recent unrest at Banex Plaza in Wuse, Abuja, on Saturday 18 May 2024, by yet to be identified hoodlums who launched a brutal attack on some Nigerian Army personnel, a swift intervention by soldiers and policemen on…
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
Focus.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
"Do am if e easy" and the person does it way better than you
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Tex
5 years
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Tex
5 years
This is the story of "Solomon" Goje Caught on Monday Charged on Tuesday Bailed on Wednesday Elected on Thursday Buharied on Friday Cleared on Saturday Balling on Sunday That is the story of "Solomon" Goje
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
Ọmọ, Hungary too??? #EndSARS
@dontatmedummy
daughter of zion
4 years
Candlelight #EndSARS protest. Debrecen, Hungary 🕯
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
He was inept, aloof, incompetent, anachronistic and quite frankly the worst President we've had the misfortune of putting in office.
@GuardianNigeria
The Guardian Nigeria
1 year
Nigerians reflect on Buhari's tenure as President WATCH: #Buhari #Nigerian #President #BolaAhmedTinubu #PresidentBuhari
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
I would like to congratulate my good friend and MP the Rt Hon. Boris Johnson on his successful discharge after hospitalisation for Covid19. The country, nay mankind, is counting on your continued leadership.
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Tex
3 years
There is no lesson. You are not him. You don't have his pull.
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Tex
2 months
@AdeBlaqist As in, the lamba never even start.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Incredibly poor analogy. Intellectual dreggism. Do spare parts dealers set up shop disregarding property rights? Are they occupying their stalls free of charge?
@channelstv
Channels Television
3 years
On the issue of banning grazing, the AGF asks if you deny the rights of a Nigerian citing the example of Northern governors coming together to ban the trade of spare parts in the north. Does it hold water? #PoliticsToday
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Tex
1 year
I had a client who lost several $$millions because Customs wouldn't let him clear his sugar, regardless of pristine paperwork; not without a certain someone's say so. That one I heard firsthand. There are several other more remote/anecdotal accounts.
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Tex
2 years
You wee like North-North too. Don't worry.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
From Alagbon to Ajah to Maroko to Adekunle to Mokola to Badagry, ALL the police units I have personally encountered are pungently corrupt, hopelessly unprofessional and extremely lacking in empathy and common sense.
@MBuhari
Muhammadu Buhari
4 years
The vast majority of men and women of the Nigeria Police Force are patriotic and committed to protecting the lives and livelihoods of Nigerians, and we will continue to support them to do their job.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
4 years
Can Pfizer please include the virus that causes these questions in their vaccine plan for 2020?
@Mayorspeaks
Adenekan Mayowa
4 years
Your husband younger brother slapped you because you didn't prepare dinner on time, As a well trained & godly wife what will you do?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
Why can't we agree on the fact that some things, at a very minimum, disqualify a person from being entrusted with public office?
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Tex
4 years
Working don dey show o. First Ogun State, now this. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
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Tex
1 year
By the way, Govt clamping down on artistic expression is also a variance of....?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
Who dey complain of interim government: APC Who be President: APC Who be speaker: APC Who be senate President: APC Who INEC declare winner: APC Brethren, let us reason together. Where the hell is an interim government supposed to come from? Who has the power to instal one?
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
18 days
He actually said, and it took us a minute to parse what he meant, “eet issa pita pee but eet isswan he has to swallow”. You what???
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Tex
2 years
People demanding accountability from the government want a better country. You, slavishly defending everything the government does, what is it you want?
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Tex
2 years
@DamiElebe E croak!
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
3 years
I heard one BS today and screamed! "If to say Buhari enter like 12 years ago, e for do all the work wey Obasanjo do, with far less corruption." BASED ON WHAT EVIDENCE, YOU NITWIT???
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
2 years
Rent-a-Pope, from the BATican.
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@TexTheLaw
Tex
1 year
What was he doing between 2007 and 2023?
@PBATMediaCentre
President Bola Ahmed Tinubu Media Centre
1 year
Meet the newly appointed Special Advisers to President Bola Ahmed Tinubu 1. Mr. Dele Alake, served as Adviser on Information to late MKO Abiola, a former Lagos State Commissioner for Information and Fellow of the Nigerian Guild of Editors.
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