Mr Smeg Zim @T_a_t_e_n_d_a Twitter profile

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

3 months

This is the last time I'm dating someone with a kid

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

One thing i learnt at Varsity is that you can write an assignment with a mouse only.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

We can stand like this for hours without even knowing each other's name.. It's a gift God gave us....

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 year

Who told Zimbabweans that the remaining water after boiling pieces of chicken or beef is for making soup ...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Somewhere in Israel this cold season 😂😂...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Started texting my girlfriend with a different number about 2 weeks ago. And she told me she has been single for a year now and she didn't love her ex boyfriend because he looked like a lizard. I asked her that guy's pic and she sent me my pic i can't breathe.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Okay this is the best......

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

8 months

Vese akadriver idzi ingoisai malikes #legends

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Me waiting for 2 girls fighting over me so i can marry the looser because i can't be in a relationship with John Cena..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Her: Wanga uchiti ukuda kundiona, taura tinzwe. Me:eeeh bin nderepano here or ndiwe wauya naro pano.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 year

Retweet for awareness !!!!!

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

So Dstv is advertising Dstv on Dstv for people with Dstv to buy Dstv...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Team raiita zvekubreaker breaker kuhigh school, kuri sei kuStep up? 😏

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 months

This guy left his whole education life in a car muChinhoyi. Innocent Matashu. Contact 0716239447. Retweet for awareness !!!!!

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 months

Toziva hedu kuti mufesi akadyiswa ,but imbwa yatadzei ?? 🤣🤣

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Acting jealous when you're secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Rate pfuko out of 10?

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

4 months

Mukaenda kuma "sent email " kwema graduates asina link munonzwa tsitsi 😩😩

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

People died yesterday that had plans for Today. If you're alive today. Thank the Lord.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

My son, a poor man's greetings are mistaken for begging. Work hard!!!

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Ndamuti I'm sorry for Everything zvikanzi taura maeverything acho 1 by 1 😭😭

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Porn is fake!!!! , my friend tried seducing his stepmother but now my bro is homeless 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

8 months

Happiness is when you come home and you know your family is waiting for you .May God give you a wonderful family

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

😭😭🕊️

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Dumping someone because they are using GB is a very valid reason..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 months

😂😂Haa ndafa 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

This will Never be a Zimbo girl never ever 🌚😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Not having a person who watch zeeworld in your house is an underrated blessing 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 year

Kubhadharirwa rent hakusi unodiwa sterek, it's cheaper than kuenda kulodge everyday, takatoita maths dzacho kare..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Zivai maPrograms ekuita kana makapasa A level nema Extra lessons.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

I'm officially at the age where I'm not upgrading my phone until it stop working.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Me on valentines day enjoying my sister's gift from our brother in law.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Tsanoz vatora jean vachiti imask 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

You were too young to understand this😬😬

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

3 years

Are we going to ignore the fact that Mai chisamba has looked the same since we were toddlers 👀

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

After sex, who is supposed to sleep on the wet side?? 🌚🌚

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Kwaita nyaya kuno Single, satisfied and not searching is now pregnant

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Have you ever spent your own money then start doing calculations like you just been robbed.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Her : babe I've arrived but my parents have locked the gate Me : Eish your parents are so strict, chat later.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

This could be us but yoo haudi kuzvitengera dzako

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Hanzi Police station yaku mkoba 16 vanovhara na1730 nekut vanotya matsotsi...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

9 months

Ukaita nhumbu chete unobva pano 9 months later "Icho chimujukulu chagogo chimujukulu jukulu 😂"

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Dating is all about sex, if you want matching outfits go to jail..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

There's no relationship without rules if you want freedom, stay single....

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

A lady who makes effort to call you really loves you broo, that gender never calls at all.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Slow sex inoda uchiitawo mukadzi akanaka, haungafambe zvishoma panzvimbo inotyisa🤣🤣

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 year

Econet ; Rambai makabata vamiriri vedu vachakabatikana Vamiriri :

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

MuHarare tisat tadanana toita pregnancy test, zvimatumbu zvenyu zvinovhiringidza.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

11 months

When people start leaving the club Dj's :

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket,i admitted straight away that I'm cheating. I don't want her to know I'm selling Avon.. I want to eat my money in peace...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Besides Huawei and Hyundai what other words we should never attempt to say in public.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Mary someone who matches your sense of humor, not someone anotsamwira kutu waseka mhanza yababa vake...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 year

Him: babe mari yemusoro ndasiya patable Her : ndaiona babe thanks a lot Him : utenge wembudzi..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

When the child is sick. Stepdad : Eco cash 3000 Father : He will be okay ndiMhofu kauyu..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

I want to marry a lady anoshanda kuRadio so that when she is at work ndongobatidza radio and be sure that she is at work.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Ndazoita 1 hour ndakatsika 10usd maOK kuzoona kuti yanga yadonha muhomwe mangu... Haa hurombo zvaunoita soo mahorror..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Sometimes we have to impregnate them to avoid loosing them..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

My parents : please stop hanging out with Tapiwa, he is not a good friend. Tapiwa when he gets paid :

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Selling my degree, good condition NEVER BEEN USED.!!!!

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Ibasa redu vanhurume kuomera kana tisingakude 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Back in primary school looking up the word "sex" in the dictionary was like watching porn 😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

So one day i will be kissing someone's daughter and the father will be clapping...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Ukanzwa vakadzi vepaZim vakuti am ready to settle vanenge vadai so...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

9 months

As Zimbabweans we now elect Silent killer as the leader of youth and speaker of truth Ipai malikes kuna hombarume 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Hameno kuti vanhurume takasikwa sei, ukada kucheater soo unotanga kunzwa kuzarirwa wobuda misodzi uchifunga munhu wako, Wotorega.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Zvimwe zvekuita bonde nepaside pepant ndozvimwe zvokonzera Vana kuita mbavha.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Mwari haambokugarise kuChitungwiza pasina chawamutadzira.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Varume musavarairwe ne worksuits ukazoita mwedzi uri paden ndopaunoona kut hauna hembe..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

After my first heartbreak, i realized that ladies deserve period pains

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

I stopped going to church in 2020 when our pastor vomited rice in the middle of our Ten days fasting.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

"i dont date broke guys" says a person doesn't have 5 O levels and also lost her virginity in a maize plantation.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

"Ndiri kudzoka " Apedza zvake muZimba kana adhurirwa nechinhu mushop...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

🙎‍♀️Babe taurira padenga handis kunzwa.. 🙎‍♂️Ndiri kut hona nzeve dzemekomana ari kumashure ukoo

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Unopedza masongs mangani uchigeza??? Ini 1 inozopera ndatova mukombi kare...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Ndasangana naTeacher wangu weGrade 5.. I was like aah mudhara muchiri kuPrimary....

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Hezvo malodge ekuMasvingo unozvitengera wega magetsi eeh.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 year

Zimbabwean parents and wrong emojis.. "i love you my son 🌚"

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

SMS from Gogo "huya kuchechi izvozvi uchiita kunge ukuda makey kuri kudyiwa muzukuru"

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

My wife wanted to disgrace me in front of her friends saying that I'm not good in bed, she was shocked when they all disagreed..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

3 years

Her : Bbe ndiri musaloon ndorukwa zveMarii? Him: ipa vemusaloon fon. Him: hello, mugerei

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

9 months

I just wanna see how many people believe that the power of prayer can positively impact our lives With a firm yes

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Munoita sex before marriage ende hamuna basa nazvo, asi nguruve hamudye hanzii hee its a sin... Imika!!!! Hatis kurwa hedu

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

I want a rematch i was young, vulnerable and weak.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Murume anogara nevabereki vake haumude, asi unoda anogara nemukadzi wake....

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

I grew up eating what i found in my plate. Wearing what my parents could afford. That's where i learnt to appreciate.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

@MichaelBucwa @rev_zimw @dP_Lab_

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Ukaona boss wako asiko kubasa nhasi chingoziva akunyorera Maths..

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Aaah 😂😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

3 years

Huku inoraramisa nhiyo 10 pasina Jongwe, asi haumbonzwe ichit jongwe imbwa

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

I owe econet rtgs 500 and now they sent me a message saying "buy 700 airtime and win a car" they think I'm from Gokwe 😅😅

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

1 month

How real men were raised not these pamper boys 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Tecno and itel users are living a soft life imagine low battery means that you have 2 days to find a charger...

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Know your boyfriends real name girl, incase you get pregnant we cant help you look for dreezy skunk bwoy.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

10 months

Me forcing a relationship by choice 😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Zviri gay futi kuti munhurume ashaye Maths neEnglish paO level

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Imagine mudiwa wako okubvunza kut ukuita course ipi wobva wati hospitality zvonzi "wow!! Future Doctors!".... 😂😂😂😂😂

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

10 months

Interviewer : any special skills Me :

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

3 years

Prostitution starts when you start thinking you're too beautiful to suffer.

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Mr Smeg Zim

@T_a_t_e_n_d_a

2 years

Some people can watch their phone ring, ignore it and then text sorry i was asleep..

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