Carl Kinsella @TVsCarlKinsella Twitter profile

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Carl Kinsella

15 days

"There is a palpable sense of danger in Ireland at this moment. Immigrants to Ireland will tell you this. Emigrants who have recently returned to their home shores will tell you this." Wrote this about Newtownmountkennedy and the upcoming elections.

Surrealing in the Years: Bloody horses on the loose in London, bloody chaos on the loose in Ireland

We best saddle up.

www.thejournal.ie

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Last Seen Profiles

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

rest in peace Princess Diana you would have loved this

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

We all talk a lot about how Google search doesn’t work anymore but Spotify disemboweling the meaning of the word “shuffle” actually frustrates me on a more primal level.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

on behalf of ireland can we please communicate to the people of Chicago that they really don't have to do that to their river

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 months

i just looked up 'javelina' and let me tell you golf is not winning a PR war against these guys

Em Casey

@emcaseyturf

7 months

Come along with me on my carnage (I mean course) check this morning. What should be one of the most beautiful golf courses in the country is being destroyed by herds of javelina. If anyone has a contact in AZ state govt that can help us find a solution please pass it along.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

Irish Twitter right now

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

a very easy choice

A24

@A24films_

3 years

We’re looking for some tweets to turn into movies.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

The Duolingo owl and the Hooters owl are brothers. One chose the path of knowledge. The other, the path of jumbo bazoingas, short shorts and chicken wings. An unbridgeable schism. A tale as old as time.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

5 years

With a click of their fingers, TWO French billionaires have given €300million to restore Notre Dame. Just imagine if billionaires cared as much about uhhhh human people.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

WATERGATE GUY: you need to make sure my identity stays a secret WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN: that's fine we'll just use a codename. WATERGATE GUY: oh yeah like what? WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN: oh just something normal

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

they need to bring back the era of Guinness advertising that was like “drink Guinness with me, the crab”

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

ME NOTICING THAT THE GUY WHO WROTE 'THE BIG SHORT' HAS BEEN HANGING AROUND ME FOR SIX MONTHS: is this good

unusual_whales

@unusual_whales

1 year

Michael Lewis, the writer behind The Big Short, has been traveling with Sam Bankman-Fried for the last 6 months is writing his next book on the FTX founder, per Bloomberg.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

I love how Pickford’s vibe whenever he makes a save is “Why are you making me do this”

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

ooh, the same six songs you suggest every day, in the same order as yesterday? don’t mind if I do

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

FRANZ FERDINAND: do they remember me ME: *encouragingly* sort of. There’s a band named after you. FRANZ FERDINAND: are they good ME: *encouragingly* sort of

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

i don't know how to explain this exactly, but whenever i hear "noam chomsky" i picture this guy

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

23 days

how it feels to be the only person alive who likes, dislikes, thinks about, and listens to Taylor Swift the exact correct amount

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

"In another life, I would have really liked just drinking Cerveza Cristal con mis amigos.”

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

imagine having this kind of crazy off-the-charts sexual chemistry with everyone you meet

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

Martin Freeman is simply not believable as an American. This is the face of a man who has watched The Clangers

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 month

one of the categories today was “words that rhyme”

julia reinstein 🚡

@juliareinstein

1 month

some of you need to quietly admit to yourselves you’re not actually built for NYT connections

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

just saw a magpie and my mam goes “one in sight is worth two in flight” goddamn how many fuckin rules do these birds have. an entire fuckin constitution

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 months

this is always the hardest, darkest time of year. six months since creme egg, six months until creme egg

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

if I was asked by an English broadcaster whether Irish people need more education about Anglo-Irish history I genuinely do not know how I would react

Sky Sports News

@SkySportsNews

2 years

The Ireland women's team apologise for singing a song referencing the IRA following their world cup qualification win against Scotland last night.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

#HowToConfuseAMillennial Destroy the housing market Replace grad jobs with unpaid internships Tell them to buy a house

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

5 years

black mirror idea: an owl texts you every single day to make you feel bad because you can’t speak Spanish

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

I always love the “getting the gang back together” parts of a movie. I would watch a movie that’s just two hours of getting the gang back together and that’s it.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

11 months

we build an 'unsinkable' cruise liner, then crash it into an iceberg in 1912, so we can sell tickets for a makeshift submersible to visit the wreckage 4000m below sea level, and then when it goes missing, we use the publicity to get free Blink 182 tickets

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

9 months

I’m obsessed with the drama here. He’s done a new version with a new woman and the fans have absolutely TURNED on him.

Kyle Gordon

@kylegordon101

9 months

Filmed in Zagreb, Croatia

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

French Goalkeeper Steve Mandanda has a brother called Parfait Mandanda. Meaning that their parents called one of their children Perfect, and the other one Steve.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

seems unthinkable that Meta could be laying off 11,000 employees when just weeks ago they were basking in the triumph of "legs are coming soon"

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

Boston Market tweeted this and the entire thread below is just them hiding replies of people sending pictures of a man fucking a raw chicken. The brands get what they deserve.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

5 years

BRITS: What must the rest of the world think of us right now?! REST OF THE WORLD: We have hated you literally forever, and today is the same.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

Charles Bramesco

@intothecrevasse

1 year

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the seventh thing with this title to have been released in the past five years

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

I’d have cast Daniel Day Lewis as Waluigi simply to see what happens when a man has to live as Waluigi for two fucking years

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

11 months

Page Six

@PageSix

11 months

EXCLUSIVE: Natalie Portman, Ben Millepied fight for marriage amid affair with 25-year-old

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

5 years

smoking area

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 month

Beyoncé needs to do a version of Hotel California where you can just leave whenever and everything is normal

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

Marko Arnautovic is a great example of what you can achieve when you hate every manager you play for, every team you play for, all your teammates, and the very idea of football.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

if Chicken Run 2 doesn't have 'The Plot Chickens' as its tagline then what's the point

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

these men would have not survived even the most lenient Irish secondary school bully

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

IRELAND: we’ll be speeding up the reopening process starting today WEATHER: oh will ya? have some thunder, lightning and hail in the middle of June ya stupid cunt

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 month

Woah that voice. Reminds me of his father, Old Blue Eyes, Woody Allen

Mia Farrow 🏳️‍🌈 🌻🇺🇸💙

@MiaFarrow

4 years

In honor of a Steve Sondheim’s birthday this weekend... Ronan will kill me for this but here he is as a teenager singing a little Not While I’m Around” - the song i used to sing to him when he was little.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 years

EGYPT: we got sphinxes! GREECE: we got minotaurs! CHINA: we got dragons! IRELAND: we got a salmon EGYPT: CHINA: IRELAND: a real smart salmon

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

"how do you feel about sloppy head master 3000"

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

SKY NEWS MAN: Maybe there's a need for more education IRISH 8-YEAR-OLD WHO JUST HAD TO READ 'UNDER THE HAWTHORN TREE':

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

hello Spotify it appears that I have identified an issue with your service

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

HEALTH & SAFETY: What's in there? FOUNDER: Oh, that's the uh... Chamber of... Safety. BASILISK: Ssss... H&S: What's that? FOUNDER: Ssssafety

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

6 years

I will go out of my way to eat at Red Hen in Lexington.

Kayleigh McEnany 45 Archived

@PressSec45

6 years

Last night I was told by the owner of Red Hen in Lexington, VA to leave because I work for @POTUS and I politely left. Her actions say far more about her than about me. I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

Honestly I can't get my head around the government voting to give three of its ministers, already on €124,000 a year, a €16,000 pay increase. I just can't get my head around it. It's so deeply and comically and villainously unfair.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

I hate when a TV show starts a new season by introducing a new character we've never met before because it's almost NEVER Desmond from Lost. It's only ever been him ONCE (Lost, Season 2)

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

A second person has died of COVID-19, with 39 new cases confirmed. Twice as many new cases as yesterday. LEAVE THE PUB AND GO THE FUCK HOME.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

this is such a funny tweet. “300,000 people have enjoyed the traffic free streets, it’s been a major success and everyone loves it! we are terminating it with immediate effect”

Dublin City Council

@DubCityCouncil

3 years

Over the last 11 weeks, more than 300,000 people have experienced the traffic-free streets of Capel St & Parliament St. This weekend is the final scheduled weekend so be sure to check it out! #Dublin #CityRecovery #Pedestrianisation

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

ALBUS: Only the most powerful magic can destroy a horcrux HARRY: Gotcha ALBUS: Do you? HARRY: Gonna need one hell of an Expelliarmus ALBUS:

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

6 years

COME ON GREAT BRITAIN Taoiseach = TEA SHOCK Tánaiste = TAWN ISH TA We all learned to pronounce Worcestershire. You can do this.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

a few months from now there will be a tweet that says "wordle was the banana bread of omicron" and it will have 20k retweets

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

KENDALL ROY: yeah so we’re going totally fucking Goblin Mode here guys *answers phone* uh hey dad, uh yeah, yeah I thought maybe it would be good to go Goblin Mode. uh-huh, uh-huh, no, yeah, you’re right

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

11 months

Fair play for telling this story in a way that makes the manager sound absolutely as cool as possible.

annfarrelly

@annfarrelly32

11 months

@annefcirl The Pavillions SC Swords. Centre Manager dismissed my concerns. When I said I wanted to make a complaint he replied saying well you have. Didn't take name or number

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 months

Ireland being free to condemn Israeli actions in Gaza, out of step with the EU at large, is a pretty firm reminder of why our neutrality matters so much, btw. We simply don't hold the same attitudes as many of the nations it's suggested we should ally with, militarily.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

Me after two pints when somebody asks me for my life plans

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 months

I’m also going to name my daughter Javelina

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 years

When Eminem roasts you so bad that the Queen doesn't want to meet you anymore.

Donald Trump's state visit just got cancelled

Discussions of scaled-back trip come after threats of mass protests by opponents of the US President

www.independent.co.uk

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 years

Reminder that the story of how Alan Alda met his wife Arlene is pure goals.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

The most Irish non-Irish word in the world is without a doubt... AMN’T

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

5 years

Ryan Tubridy says if Greta Thunberg were a movie, he'd press pause. If Ryan Tubridy were a movie, I'd put my foot through the TV.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately! KIDS: ... STAFF: ... ALBUS: I can't control them.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

I love this because it suggests that they did one joint Junior Cert as Jedward.

JEDWARD

@planetjedward

4 years

We did get an A in our C.S.P.E. (Civic, Social & Political Education)

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

JUNIOR CERT CANCELLED is so funny to me. It’s like a headline in the daydream of the world’s most generic 13-year-old.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

BERNIE SANDERS’ GRANDSON IS WEARING AN IRELAND JERSEY

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

petition to take the little Union Jacks off Reeboks

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

The Daily Mail is literally, openly gearing up for its 'Meghan Markle kills Prince Phillip' front page

Andrew Pierce

@toryboypierce

3 years

#PrincePhilip clearly in very poor health hence the transfer to St Bart's a specialist cardiac hospital. #HarryandMeghanonOprah should think very carefully about the timing of the release of that 'no holds barred' interview

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

GIVE ME A SECOND

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

I can't believe they're trying to introduce fares to the Luas. It should remain free.

Luas

@Luas

3 years

@DubIinBus A valid ticket is needed to travel on Luas - Sally

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

1 year

the snow always makes me think of her

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

- They're apartments, not houses. - There will be 1,269 apartments. - Only 126 (10%) of them will be social housing. - The social housing will cost €243,000 for a one-bedroom apartment, just over €358,500 for a two-bed, and €442,000 for a three-bed. - It's still not built.

Leo Varadkar

@LeoVaradkar

4 years

And they said Cherrywood (new town in South Dublin) would never be built. 1,300 new homes under construction here

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

LONDON: Here’s your Oyster card because the world is your oyster! DUBLIN: Here’s your Leap Card you disgusting frog.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

there are 850 properties to rent in ireland right now. total. nationwide.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

We're about five minutes away from Stephen Donnelly announcing that all of our vaccines were being stored on the big ship stuck in the Suez Canal for some reason.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

there's a whole TV show about how you can be detained for bringing an apple into their country

Ronan McGreevy

@RMcGreevy1301

2 years

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the Djokovic case, Australia’s reputation as a laidback “no worries mate” lucky country has been shredded by the pandemic.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

ALBUS: Honestly, Minerva. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. ALBUS: ALBUS: ALBUS: You're just a normal cat, aren't you? CAT: Meow.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

sorry that we understand the importance of pageantry

Jesuit for X-Men

@GracePersephone

2 months

Why are so many horror movies dealing with Catholics? Y'all having trouble making Protestant horror flicks?

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

You won, New Zealand. Enjoy the normal society, I hope it makes you very happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, New Zealand. You've ruined my night completely.

@ianfay.bsky.social🇵🇸

@IanFayArt

4 years

This hit me harder than I wouldve expected, it's a convention happening right now in New Zealand. Everything looks... normal

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

HARRY: There's Voldemort RON: Now's our chance HARRY: Gonna do Expelliarmus RON: Harry, come on, it's Vol- HARRY: IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

A long-term goal of mine has been to lead a disinformation campaign which claims that the Luas is free until enough people believe it that they have no choice but to give in and make the Luas is free. So if anyone ever asks you, remember: the Luas is free.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

get in the car kids. me and your mam are sick so we're going to go and test my eyesight on the fuckin motorway

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

i think i speak on behalf of the nation when i say please stop addressing us

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

7 years

Damn girl, are you September? Because I have no idea what you're still with your Meán Fomhair.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

Variety

@Variety

2 months

EXCLUSIVE: A new Popeye movie is in development from screenwriter Michael Caleo ("Sexy Beast," "The Family"). This will be the first live-action revisiting of the character since Robert Altman's 1980 film "Popeye," led by Robin Williams.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 months

absolutely losing it at this passive aggressive response from Met Éireann

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

5 months

babe are you okay? you’ve barely touched your 7am XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger from the Terminal 1 Burger King

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

OLLIVANDER: Voldemort did great things. Terrible, but great! HARRY: HARRY: HARRY: Feel like I'm the last person you should say that shit to

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

8 years

SNAPE: You've raised Harry like a pig for slaughter. ALBUS: Honestly, I never had a plan. It's a miracle he's still alive. SNAPE: ALBUS:

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

Just checking but we all still completely feel like Leo Varadkar is in charge rather than Micheál Martin, right?

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

just realised that if James Bond grew up in Ireland his nickname definitely would have been Jambon

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

2 years

[ROALD DAHL TO QUENTIN BLAKE] hey I’ve written these magical children’s books, could you maybe illustrate them with the most off-putting drawings in the world?

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

4 years

Leo Varadkar does NOT have enough transfers, and has NOT been elected after the second count.

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Carl Kinsella

@TVsCarlKinsella

3 years

I just can’t believe that as a nation we have to put up with Stephen Donnelly.

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