Participation trophies aren’t for kids. They never were. Kids are satisfied to play, compete, have fun, win, lose, whatever.
Participation trophies have always been to satisfy parents.
Important to understand how and why we got to this “entitlement” culture.
100% of people die.
99.9999% of people die believing they had more days left.
Don’t minimize today expecting tomorrow to be better.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Feel the air in your lungs and breathe in this moment.
Live today.
Love today.
Peer pressure is powerful. It might be the most accurate measure of day to day culture.
On the elite teams it propels people forward to a high standard.
On average teams it pulls people backward to a lower standard.
It’s not confusing.
You tried or you didn’t.
You put in the time or you didn’t.
You put in the effort or you didn’t.
You stuck with it or you didn’t.
You learned or you didn’t.
You practiced or you didn’t.
You got better or you didn’t.
You tried again or you didn’t.
Players crave a person to follow, not a position. They don’t care about job titles or years of experience.
Players care about how much you care about them.
Trust, confidence, and commitment are earned by the person you are, not the position you occupy.
I honestly believe +/- 75% of people on most teams only have surface level interest in becoming a champion. They like the idea of the celebration, but hate the reality of the requirements. It takes mental skill and emotional strength to work like a champ before you’re a champ.
It’s not the most talented players that win championships.
It's the most disciplined teams.
When people on teams do simple things with elite discipline they:
- team better
- work harder
- learn faster
- communicate openly
- endure longer
- enjoy more
If you don’t know, go study.
If you don’t understand, go ask.
If you don’t have experience, go do.
If you don’t have confidence, go practice.
Don’t make simple things complex.
#DoTheWork
People say, "Confidence comes from experience", but really it doesn't.
Confidence comes from 4 things:
1. Knowing what to do.
2. Knowing how to do it.
3. Feeling capable of doing it.
4. Expecting a good result.
All 4 are needed. If one is missing, doubt kicks in.
Don’t worry about what you look like.
Just do the work.
Don’t worry about when you’ll get results.
Just do the work.
Don’t worry about making mistakes.
Just do the work.
Don’t worry about other people’s opinions.
Just do the work.
If your job is to develop people, don’t make the mistake of developing them in your image.
Develop them into a great version of who they are, not who you are.
Help them become who they want to be, not who you want them to be.
This may sound counterintuitive but elite cultures are exclusive first and inclusive second.
Let me explain:
Your team will be and should be diverse and inclusive, but they must also be exclusive to those willing to do the work together towards a common goal.
Understand this…
Coaches make the mistake of expecting an 16 year-old to act like they’re 35 with two kids and a mortgage.
If you coach 10-to-20 year-olds,
help them to be great 10-to-20 year-old kids.
Don’t expect them to act like
25-to-35 year-old professionals.
I love the weight room because it doesn’t care about anything except effort.
Not age, race, or religion.
Not money, fame, or experience.
Not drip, swag, or hype.
Not dreams, goals, or plans.
The only currency a squat rack accepts is effort.
E+R=O: What do we see here?
✅ His “events” were not an excuse.
✅ He figured it out.
✅ His discipline matched his desire.
☑️ Your “events” are not an excuse.
☑️ You can figure it out.
☑️ Your discipline must match your desire.
⭐️ —> E+R=O <— ⭐️
The next six months are possibly the most unpredictable of our lifetime.
No one knows what’s going to happen.
But the next six months aren’t about what happens to us. It’s about how we respond.
We can’t control this situation. We can control ourselves.
#DMGB
E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome) most universal, most important tool I know.
I don’t control events.
I don’t control outcomes.
I control my response.
Choose the best response I can for the outcome I want given the situation I’m in.
Control what I control.
Me.
Does the weight room work? Yep.
Does it guarantee championships? Nope.
Does culture work? Yep.
Does it guarantee championships? Nope.
You have to work.
You have to compete.
You have to develop skill.
When you meet your opponent, who will be stronger physically and mentally?
Nick Saban isn’t the best coach in college football because he forces talented people into his process.
He’s the best coach in college football because he gets talented people to believe in his process.
The
#1
reason a team has a strong culture with high standards is because the staff clearly and effectively models the standards they want to exist for the culture they want to create.
People observe and follow the actions of leaders more than words of leaders.
Skin in the game.
Why do we need football?
Not for revenue or something to watch on TV, but to bring shared purpose, experience, and healing to our communities.
It’s not about the game. It’s what the game teaches us and opportunities it provides us.
It’s a coach’s responsibility to serve players, not a player’s responsibility to serve coaches.
That is the principle priority of any coach’s job: SERVE YOUR PLAYERS.
Leadership always carries the higher standard and heavier responsibility.
90% of a championship culture comes down to:
1. Setting unmistakably clear standards of behavior.
2. Coaches modeling those same standards.
3. Directly challenging anyone and everyone within the program who resists or falls below the standards.
It's uncomfortable work. That’s…
E+R=O is great because it teaches that even though you don’t control events/circumstances, you can create great outcomes/experiences by controlling your attitude/response.
E+R=O is how life works. The earlier we understand it, the better chance we have to use it well.
I’d rather be known as the person who failed because he tried but just wasn’t good enough than known as the person who was absolutely good enough but never really tried.
Simple standards you can implement at home or at work . . .
1. Anyone with enough energy to complain has enough energy to take responsibility.
2. If you complain about something, you are now responsible for it.
3. If you present a problem, propose a solution.
A simple playbook for staying in control of emotional responses:
» Listen when you’re angry.
» Try when you’re afraid.
» Forgive when you’re hurt.
» Reflect when you’re wrong.
» Persevere when you’re embarrassed.
» Ask when you’re skeptical.
» Share when you’re vulnerable.
90% of communication and meaning is transmitted through:
• Body language
• Facial expression
• Tone of voice
• Inflection
• Volume
10% through:
• Word choice
What people see and feel filters and shapes what they hear.
It’s always been this way. It will always be this way
Leadership isn’t cool. It’s responsibility without control.
It’s fulfilling and worth it.
It’s also lonely and full of criticism.
That’s why so few people do it well. They’re distracted by trying to make leadership cool, then discouraged when they experience the reality of it.
Culture lacks credibility with people because it is usually presented as as policy and procedure or trust falls and hugs.
It’s not culture’s job to make people feel good. It’s culture’s job to drive execution that wins. Create deep beliefs that drive winning behaviors.
I want to complain sometimes, but I refuse. Why?
Because it doesn’t help me create resolutions and it doesn’t give me strength for resilience.
It only makes me angry about things I don’t control.
I refuse to live that way. I choose a higher standard for myself.
Today is the most important day of your life.
Win today.
You can’t win future days. Those moments aren’t here yet.
You can’t win past days. Those moments are gone.
You get to live today for the first time.
Win this moment.
Caitlyn Clark is elite and commanding the attention that comes with it, but . . .
Look at all the people throwing stones at her, even other female athletes.
The inescapable truth is:
You can be elite or you can avoid criticism. You can’t do both.
Keep doing your thing Caitlyn.
E+R=O case study from Saban:
• Prioritize the main Outcome (to win).
• See Events as they are, not as you think they should be (Spread, RPO, Fast Tempo, Evolving Rules).
• Adjust your Response to achieve the main Outcome given the reality of Events.
No profession gets less coaching than sports coaches because no profession is less coachable than sports coaches.
Anyone in sports knows this because they experience it.
There is a dominant culture in the coaching profession of being resistant to the very standards they demand.
Skill + performance improvement in the second half of your career was a theme on my
#DailyDiscipline
email list this week 👇🏼
Entitlement in adult working professionals is the biggest issue no one is talking about.
I might put out A LOT more content on this. What do you think?
Discipline is . . .
- choice, not compliance.
- self-control, not obedience.
- flexible, not rigid.
-built, not born.
- internally created, not externally forced.
- always productive, not always painful.
“It’s not culture’s job to make people feel good. A lot of times the things that feel good don't help us win. A weak culture prioritizes that you’ve got to feel good all the time. It says, ‘If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.’ It means the culture is unwilling to sit in the…
Disagreement does not have to create disconnection. Good people can disagree on an important topic and still respect and care for each other, whether they are close friends or total strangers.
The unspoken reality of leadership I’ve shared for a decade in every staff and locker room I’ve spoken to.
No one wants to say because it:
• It doesn’t sell books
• It’s not “positive”
• It’s scares people
So instead they repeat old cliches and quotes from the latest…
You are going to be in situations you can do nothing about and you will be 100% responsible for how you deal with them.
I’m so grateful my dad instilled this in me at a young age. Thank you Dad.
Older I get, more I observe, deeper appreciation I have for smart people, with low ego, high confidence, self-awareness, who refuse to be on autopilot, and are willing to be beginners again.
And the less tolerance and patience I have for experienced people who are the opposite.
People will go in one of two directions over the next 30-90 days...
1️⃣ They’ll use this situation as a great chance to be healthy and get in fantastic shape.
2️⃣ They’ll use this situation as a justification to be unhealthy and get/stay in terrible shape.
Perspective + choices!
You choose:
- What to think
- What to do
- What to say
- Where to work
- How to work
- What to study
- What to read + watch
- The relationships you’re in
You use:
- Time
- Attention
- Energy
If you don’t like where things stand, look no further than what you choose and use.
All that energy spent complaining and criticizing could be spent contributing and encouraging.
You decide where your energy goes and whether it’s aimed at building up or tearing down.
Kids need 6 things from adults:
1) Structure
2) Standards
3) Freedom
4) Love
5) Validation
6) Encouragement
What they don’t need from adults:
1) Blame
2) Criticism
3) Complaining
4) Anger
5) Anxiety
6) Judgment
Ask any former college athlete:
The experience of being on a team committed to excellence and competing to win teaches lessons that stay with you forever.
We forget our W/L record. We NEVER forget our experience.
The culture of a team produces WINS and LOSSES but it does more…
An average coach follows the process.
A good coach creates a winning strategy.
An elite coach aligns people and moves them to a higher standard.
—
The big question for every staff is...
Will you serve your ego or the team?
E+R=O . . . I don’t control outcomes, but I do create them and contribute to them. That makes me responsible for them.
One huge benefit of using the E+R=O system is to understand the relationship between you and consequences in your life.
#SundayMorning