Let us never forget when Jurassic World annihilated this woman (who had what, 6 lines of dialogue?) in a death scene worthy of the greatest comic book villain in the history of pop culture whoโs main story started 70 years ago. This absolutely face-planted me. I never recovered.
Today Iโm celebrating this gonzo workplace safety video, Think About This (1999), which featured hysterically over-the-top gore; better than anything coming out of horror films at the time. A staple part of my introduction to the workforce, I remember being over the moon w/ this:
The kind of filmmaking I aspire to. The physics on that canister is one thing, but the stock screams and pants-shitting terror sound effects are chefs kiss perfection.
Absolutely subliminal clip from โForklift Driver Klaus,โ a gonzo German workplace safety film, which has swept me off my feet and become my everything.
@BobFulci
I couldnโt agree more. Echoing what others have said, theyโd really fallen off in recent years anyway, but the final nail in the coffin is a really jarring sight to see none the less. I worked at BB in 2004 selling DVDโs. It is now the source of many memories, just not movies. ๐
In todayโs workplace safety horror, we have baffling nail physics, Fulci-level eye trauma and shit inexplicably exploding. Things go totally nuclear here.
Horror Twitter is literally women posting screenshots of creeps in their DMโs, the same Art The Clown gifs getting 5k likes, the smaller accounts getting their content stolen by meme harvesters, & the same โScream Vl is better than anythingโ Letterboxd rankings. Iโm not kidding.
Voyage Of The Rock Aliens (84). You could ski through mountains of coke & never come close to writing something like this. With a plot taken from a public bathroom stall, every song somehow smacks, slaps, fists & bops. Thereโs even Michael Berryman w/ a chainsaw, for Gods sake!
There is so much batshit insanity on display here that a cash register exploding after being thrown ends up being the most understated thing that even happens.
Malabimba: The Malicious Whore (1979). Delivers that sweet, sweet scuzz in spades. Gothic castle, hardcore inserts, morally bankrupt sexual corruption - all elements work in concert to make this one a delightful banquet of vulgarity.
Day trip to Grindhouse Video, Knoxville - a 4000+ sq. ft. showcase of the most incredibly rare, hard to find + out of print titles there is. Stacked to the rafters w/ magazines, props, t-shirts & more - w/ โจTHOUSANDSโจ of items in the store that are not on the website!
@GHVKnox
#JustWatched
Fatal Termination (90). Listen. Iโve seen some SHIT in my day, but this is hands down the most off-itโs-rocker, balls out, OBSCENELY insane stunt Iโve seen in a minute, if not ever. Talk about riding shotgun. Anyone else along for the ride?
@Error44442
@diabolikdvd
More from Static Tape Movies, located in Lakes Mall, Muskegon, Michigan. This place is like stepping back in time 35 years. Loved every minute of being here.
Night Of The Demons 2 (94). Quintessential midnight movie mayhem, arriving at a time when horror was thought to be dead. Firmly at home in our hearts, this ridiculous, gore-soaked exercise in lunacy only gets more bonkers just when you think itโs peaked.
#JustWatched
Eliminators (โ86).๐. Weโve got underground lairs, dudes w/fake optics on their guns serving absolutely no fucking purpose whatsoever, redneck bar fights, roman soldiers, cavemen vs. ninjas, & a rolling mandroid tank that still takes the stairs. This is movie magic.
A bootleg cannibal movie collection from the Philippines. Always loved how theyโd split one movie down into 3 or 4 parts just to give you the illusion you were getting more movies. ๐คฃ
Brief video tour of Static Tape Movies, located in Lakes Mall, Muskegon, Michigan. Well worth the trip, enjoyed every minute spent there. Big shoutout to
@harrislange22
for keeping the
#PhysicalMedia
#VHS
dream alive. This place is simply amazing. Wishing you all the best!
Winterbeast (91). Like dropping your brains in a fryer for 80 mins. Lofi beamed-from-the-cosmos regional jam features possessed totem poles, destined-to-remain-unknown cast, stop motion nonsense youโll wish wouldnโt stop - all w/ a budget scraped out of a jerk off booth. Sublime.
Gore Whore (โ94). Continuing our celebration of whoredom in horror, here weโve got neon green re-animation serums, associated black dildo syringe, car wrecks, screaming, experimental acting, a dispatched head, the kicking of said dispatched head. An epic swan song in depravity.
If anyoneโs having a shit Monday, just remember Vampire Vixens From Venus is a real movie that actually happened. This should be enough to cheer anyone up.
If it wasnโt for the gutter, my mind would be homeless. Enter New Village Video. These fellow godless torchbearers are modern day saints of sleaze, delivering on several filth-filled fronts. XXX-Mas, Dark Sea - all available for rent
@NewVillageVideo
. ๐๐
So I thought Iโd share w/ you guys a short selection from one of these cult media spots I regularly frequent. Itโs insane what these guys carry; titles you usually find only online. Tons of OOP boutique titles, many still sealed w/ slips, etc. You name it. Never ceases to amaze.
Becky (โ20) Absolutely delightful. A grindhouse/exploitation cousin to Home Alone w/ brilliant homages to I Spit On Your Grave etc sprinkled throughout. We get body slams, death by ruler, death by motorboat, leg shots, head shots, & a memorable loose-eye removal scene. Itโs cute.
The charm in lofi SOV gore can never be replicated. The performances here are everything. The cookie-cutter anger and false element of surprise in seeing a friend blown to bits, in blasts of chunky glory, elevate the material to the astral plane. Itโs too perfect for this world.
All the latest and greatest pickups from a *countless* number of the amazing boutiques, from October to present (plus a few other OG grabs), presented here for your viewing pleasure!
You guys see anything you like? ๐
Your family fun night will be a huge hit with the kids! Discover the true meaning of friendship by encouraging bonding and creating lasting memories.
#ISpitOnYourGrave
#VHS
#JustWatched
Uninvited (88) A screeching stuffed animal gets thrown at people from offscreen on occasion, accompanied by award-losing effects, cruel 80s hairstyles & false dance hits. Iโm pretty sure I dreamt half of this. This is cinema that shits its own pants. Itโs subliminal.
Sooooโฆjust got an email alert from Reelgood that Ken Russelโs โThe Devilsโ is on The Criterion Channel, and itโs showing a 111 minute runtime.