Steve Hofstetter @SteveHofstetter Twitter profile

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Steve Hofstetter

3 years

I moved from LA to Pittsburgh in the middle of winter. And I absolutely love it. Why? I bought a former church and I'm turning it into a live/work/play space for comedians and other artists. Follow along @steelcityaf and And see you in Pittsburgh.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

"If you don't own a gun, you don't know enough about them to make gun laws," he says just after regulating a uterus.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Tell me again why Britney Spears needs a conservatorship and Kanye West somehow doesn't?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The generation that could buy a house with a part time job and went to college for $5K sure likes to tell everyone how difficult it was to pay back their student loans.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: Trump's legal team referenced THE WRONG STATE in their suit. They confused Michigan and Minnesota, but the places they alleged cast more votes than residents are all in the part of Minnesota that voted red. Trump's lawyers just accidentally accused him of cheating.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

4 years

Ray Ciccarelli (0-31 in his career) has announced his retirement from NASCAR due to their decision to ban confederate flags. NASCAR is scrambling to find someone else to regularly finish 28th. It's no surprise. Ciccarelli has never been good at anything race-related.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

14 people were shot on Philadelphia’s South Street last night. I don’t understand how this could happen, as I just spent a week being told that the cause of mass shootings is doors.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: According to the Washington Post, Donald Trump has instructed his staff not to pay Rudy Giuliani's legal fees. I'll write more when I'm done laughing.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Eric Trump and Charlie Kirk are tweeting about how Donald Trump won more counties. Who is going to explain to them that there are 10 million people in LA County, and just 169 in Loving County, TX? And then who will explain that 10 million is more than 169?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Shoutout to all the people who didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton because they didn’t see the point in voting for the “lesser of two evils”. It’d be nice if evil was a bit lesser today.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The Fox News definition of a good father, Herschel Walker: Abandons his kids Pays for an abortion Beats his wife The Fox News definition of a bad father, Joe Biden: Pleads with his son to get help Pays for his son’s treatment Tells his son he loves him

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Replacing RBG with Amy Coney-Barrett is like if your server said, “We don’t have Coke, is urine ok?”

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

How is it that a kid can be too young to read Anne Frank's diary, but that same kid can participate in active shooter drills and be forced to carry their rapist's baby to term?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: The Florida Retirement System invested $300 million in Russian assets. They've now lost $200 million of that. Ron DeSantis oversaw the loss of 2/3 of the pension of the state of Florida. TWO THIRDS! The only Russian asset still in Florida is Ron DeSantis.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

@SenTedCruz The Paris Agreement is called that because it was signed IN Paris. It's just the name. Do you think the New Orleans Saints are actually saints? "Why do they lose to Tampa Bay? A pirate can't defeat a saint!" From the bottom of my Pittsburgh heart, you are so fucking stupid.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The difference between Trump and Jim Jones is that Trump would charge you for the Kool-Aid.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: Ken Paxton, the TX AG that filed suit against GA, MI, PA, and WI has been indicted on felony securities fraud charges and is CURRENTLY under FBI investigation for abuse of political power. This is not a lawsuit. This is a request for a pardon. God Bless Texas, huh?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Lauren Boebert argued that people shouldn't be allowed to come out until they're 21. Which is 4 years older than the age where her husband can show them his dick in a bowling alley.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

When you cash that stimulus check, remember that the reason the senate had enough votes to pass it was because a black woman worked her ass off. Thank you, Stacey Abrams. We appreciate you.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Donald Trump has been bullying science for the last seven months. Well he’s about to get his ass handed to him by science‘s older brother: math.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

1 year

BREAKING: Ye has announced his 2024 presidential bid, running against Donald Trump and Ron Desantis. The republican party is worried that this will split the antisemitic vote. And then there's no telling who the other 20% of the party will support.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

1 year

In one night, Mehmet Oz, Lauren Boebert, Sarah Palin, Kari Lake, and Doug Mastriano all lost. How does that make you feel? GIFS only.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The GOP still thinks the scariest thing that could happen at a school is a child learning that gay people exist.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Ben Shapiro is 5'4" but lists his height at 5'9". That makes two places where Ben Shapiro wishes he had five more inches.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Georgia Secretary of State just said Lindsey Graham STUNNED him by asking if all mail-in ballots in certain counties can be thrown out. Is this how Lindsey won South Carolina by over 10 points, when polls had them neck and neck? 🤔

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

NEWS: The Minnesota GOP accidentally made edibles legal when they didn't read the bill they voted for. They've asked state dems to roll back the bill, but the dems said no. Oh, does the GOP want to terminate an unintended consequence? Alas, that's regulated at the state level.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: Alaska Airlines has banned GOP state senator Lora Reinbold for "continued refusal" to wear a mask on flights. The only other airline to offer flights from Anchorage to Juneau is (checks notes) no airline. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

And now Highland Park. During a parade. Full of cops. I am going to re-post this video every time I hear about a mass shooting. If you're tired of seeing this video, I hope you understand that I am much more tired of hearing about mass shootings.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

1 year

Elon Musk suspended journalists who have criticized him, so let me say this: Fuck his fragile ego. Fuck his hypocritical "free speech" and his support of fascism and his sexual harassment and his amplification of evil. Fuck everything he stands for. And fuck Twitter.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The dollar is 21% stronger than it was the day Biden took office - stronger than it's been in 20 years. This is the first time the dollar is worth more than the Euro since 2002. Truth is, the US is handling global inflation better than most (and better than I thought we would).

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Did your parents hug you as a child or do you have a "Fuck Biden" sign in your yard?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

4 years

The Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Miami Heat to win the NBA championship. I'm curious if anyone watching was rooting for a 3rd party, or did you all understand that only two teams were in the finals?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Walmart is no longer carrying the comically uncomfortable My Pillow, and Mike Lindell thinks it’s because they’re too woke. Which is possible. Anyone who has ever tried to sleep on a My Pillow is woke.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: Biden administration just announced Harriett Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. That's the second horrible racist president Biden has replaced in less than a week.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Lauren Boebert said "I don't know who is running the federal government these days, Joe Biden or Prince John." A lot of people are mocking her since there is no Prince John, but I believe that Lauren Boebert is being honest that she does not know who runs the federal government.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

If Republicans think the country's border isn't secure, just wait until they hear about the country's classified documents.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Mitch McConnell is about to officially become the thing he hates most in this world. A minority.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Biden’s $1.9 trillion COVID relief plan looks great! But I have an idea to make it more effective. To get your money, you have to post a Facebook status or tweet that says “COVID is real and science is important.” And if you don’t, your check goes to a teacher.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

It is quite possible that by the end of today, Madison Cawthorn’s political career will be over. How does that make you feel? GIFs only.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Governor Greg Abbott has announced he's re-opening businesses in Texas 100% and removing the mask mandate. TX is LAST in per capita vaccinations. 93.5% of the state has not yet been fully vaccinated. Don't ever let a republican tell you they're "pro-life" again.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Dr. Oz violated the Hatch Act by running for Pennsylvania senate while employed by the government. He also violated the laws of common sense by running for Pennsylvania senate while never having lived in Pennsylvania.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

"If the vaccine worked, you wouldn't need to get it more than once!" he says as he takes his daily cholesterol medicine.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The vaccine reduces the severity of COVID so much that Aaron Rodgers is unvaccinated and yet his receivers didn't catch anything significant.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

5 years

A little bit of math on #GoFundTheWall . They've raised $4 million in 3 days. WOW! Now, by Fox News' own estimate, the wall would cost $25 billion. If they raise $1.3 million a day, EVERY DAY, it would take them 51 years, 4 months, and 19 days. So, keep donating you dummies.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Two New York residents were charged with illegally funneling Chinese investor money to Donald Trump's campaign because everything that the right accuses the left of is something the right has actually done.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

6 years

Net Neutrality was put in place when high speed internet became an important part of the fabric of our society. Before plumbing, we didn't need laws regulating water access, either. Times change. Just like your political views depending on who pays for them.

Ted Cruz

@tedcruz

6 years

Snowflake, believing online propaganda: "OMG w/o net neutrality, the Internet is gone!" Informed observer: "You know, the FCC issued that rule in 2015. The Internet grew up wonderfully free from govt regulation & this restores the status quo ante." Snowflake: "Uh, never mind..."

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

California will now make its own insulin. I expect Florida will start making its own bath salts.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: Turns out Liz Cheney’s GOP opponent impregnated a 14 year old when he was 18, and justified his statutory rape by comparing it to Romeo and Juliet. I will happily remind him how that story ended.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

When someone on the left threatens to shoot a republican, the rest of left is horrified. When someone on the right threatens to shoot a democrat, the rest of the right invites them to speak at their convention and runs them for senate.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: A documentary film maker that had inside access to Trump during the days leading up to the insurrection will sit for an interview on Thursday with the January 6th panel. Turns out the person who will bring down Trump is a woman or man with a camera on TV.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Lauren Boebert allegedly read a note of support from the mother of a lieutenant corporal. That's unlikely, partially because lieutenant corporal is not a rank that exists and also because of reading.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

A kid at Slinger Middle School yelled that he had a gun as a "prank". That student doesn't realize how much danger he put himself in. If cops believed he had a gun, dozens of them could have gathered around the school for an hour and done absolutely nothing.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

According to scientists, Jellyfish have no heart and no brains. We just found a new mascot for the republican party.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

So while Madison Cawthorn was in Russia, he met a man who invited him to a "cross-fit competition". When Cawthorne arrived, the fake competition was a ruse to introduce him to his now ex-wife, who divorced him after 8 months. Yeah, nothing suspicious at all.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Enough of this both sides garbage. Evil is not a side.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

To all the MAGA people who believe Joe Biden’s lighting was “satanic” because it was red, I have some bad news about the hats you have been wearing.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The January 6th hearings are like reading the ingredients of a hot dog. You already knew it was bad, but somehow the details make it even worse.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

CNN host W. Kamau Bell wore a shirt with the words, 'I WILL AID AND ABET ABORTION.' Pro-lifers were very upset once someone read the shirt to them.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

4 years

The 13 states with the most COVID cases per capita ALL voted red in the 2016 election. The bottom 5 ALL voted blue. But that's probably just a coincidence. Like when I'm cold and I close the window and then I'm not cold anymore. What a coincidence!

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

The order of vaccinations should have been: 1) Healthcare workers 2) The elderly and medically vulnerable 3) Essential workers 4) People who live with essential workers 5) Other people 6) Squirrels 7) Robocop 8) Dragons 9) The blue folks from Avatar 10) Marco Rubio

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: During a televised debate, Lauren Boebert admitted she did not know what the 19th amendment was (it's the one that gives women the right to vote). That makes sense. No one in her family cares about anything over 17.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Marjorie Taylor Greene for sure says "supposably".

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Sarah Sanders just mocked Joe Biden's stutter. I went through speech therapy as a child and now speak for a living as an adult, so let me loudly and clearly say this: "Hey Sarah Sanders: Go fuck yourself you empathy-less huckster."

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Olivia Julianna and other Gen-Z activists have raised almost $2 million for abortion funds after she was cyberbullied by Matt Gaetz. It is not the first time Matt Gaetz raised money for a teenager.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

2,403 died in Pearl Harbor: "A day that will live in infamy." 2,977 died on September 11th: "Never forget." 2,885 Americans died yesterday from COVID: "By the way, on November 4, you won't hear about it anymore."

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

I can not get over Mitch McConnell saying the labor shortage will end when Americans run out of their stimulus money. When they run out of their $1400 of stimulus money. That they received 18 months ago. Yeah, if there's anything keeping people from working, it is $18 a week.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Beto O'Rourke plans on running to replace Greg Abbott as governor of Texas. Can I get a hell yeah?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Right now there is a convoy of truckers circling Washington DC to protest vaccine and mask mandates that have already been lifted. Maybe after they're done, they can protest the government's use of Windows 95.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Buckle up. This is gonna be a fun day.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Madison Cawthorn's explanation of that leaked video is that he wasn't having sex with a man, he just thought it was hilarious to force his dick in someone's face. I've never heard anything more reflective of today's GOP than a defense of "Oh, I'm not gay. I'm just a rapist!"

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING: Heavily-Republican Floyd county screwed up. Looks like Trump will lose Georgia now by slightly under 14,000 votes, instead of slightly over 14,000 votes. Graduates of Trump University are now celebrating Trump's win.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Dear fucking idiots: When you donate to Trump's "election defense" fund, $0 goes to the fund. Your money gets split between the RNC and Trump's PAC, which he KEEPS. Says so on the website you're donating to. He's robbing you and you're cheering for it. You fucking idiots.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Jan 20th Kayleigh McEnany is gone! How do you feel about his? (gifs only)

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Donald Trump is demanding "equal time". Sure, Donald. How does 25 to life sound?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

BREAKING via NY Times: Georgia is now investigating Donald Trump for pressuring their Republican Secretary of State to overturn his election loss. Once this goes to jury trial, Trump better hope he can find 12 more votes in Georgia.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: After just 3 weeks, the truck convoy is leaving DC. Many are making fun of their total political and social impotence, but in their defense they also wasted a ton of money and time, camped out in freezing temperatures, and didn't get any of their demands met.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: A study concluded that Donald Trump lied over 30,000 times in four years, which is more than 20 times a day. And that doesn't even count the time he said he loves his family.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

And now, Green Bay. I am going to re-post this video every time I hear about a mass shooting. If you're tired of seeing this video, I hope you understand that I am much more tired of hearing about mass shootings.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

4 years

Dear Rep. Matt Gaetz, Why is Howard University in the relief bill? Great question! Howard University's hospital is a COVID-19 treatment facility. It is within walking distance from your office. Hope this helps, you dumb fuck.

Rep. Matt Gaetz

@RepMattGaetz

4 years

$13,000,000 in taxpayer funds could be going to families across the nation struggling to put food on the table in the midst of COVID-19. Instead, it's going to Howard University. Education is important- but a $13 million check to Howard does not belong in COVID-19 relief.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Michigan just certified the election results, making Biden's win official in the state. How do you feel? (gifs only)

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

Marjorie Taylor Greene challenging Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to a debate is like me challenging LeBron James to a game of one-on-one.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

I have no problem with police protecting the reckless, science-denying, math-hating troglodytes at the #millionmoronmarch today. That's their job. But it was ALSO their job to protect those of us who marched for civil rights this summer. A job they didn't do.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Guns don’t kill people. People who do not regulate guns kill people.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

1 year

And now, a Walmart in Chesapeake, VA. I am going to re-post this video every time I hear about a mass shooting. If you're tired of seeing this video, I hope you understand that I am much more tired of hearing about mass shootings.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Herschel Walker beat his ex-wife and held a gun to her head. Maybe he is a cop after all.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

The next time that a republican gets outraged about a drag show or a trans athlete, remind them that child marriage is legal in 100% of republican controlled states.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: The records turned over to the January 6th committee show a 7-hour gap on Donald Trump's phone, which covers the time of the insurrection. So Trump's BEST CASE SCENARIO is that the Capitol was under attack and no one bothered to call him while it was happening.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

On one hand, Kanye declared candidacy for president, violently threatened his ex-wife's new boyfriend, and declared war on Jewish people. But Britney GOT MARRIED WITHOUT HER FATHER'S PERMISSION.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Today is a great day to fire Louis DeJoy.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: The FBI just raided Mar-A-Lago. How does that make you feel? GIFS only.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: Time Warner removed OAN from their lineup, possibly spelling the end for that treasonous misinformation farm. How do you feel? GIFs only.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

They called it “trickle down economics” because the they realized “piss on the poor” would turn on too much of the GOP.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Supreme Court justices are reportedly not happy about protests happening outside their homes. How about instead of protests, we just force them to raise a child?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Neil Gorsuch very confidently and very incorrectly said that the flu kills hundreds of thousands of people each year. The flu does not. But being confidently incorrect sure does.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

A reminder that "Doctor" Rand Paul was a twice sued-for-malpractice eye doctor. He received his certification through an open-book take-home test administered by a non-accredit board that HE set up, consisting of his family.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

January 6th was a coup. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to hide the fact that January 6th was a coup. Because January 6th was a coup.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

"Mommy? Where do Marjorie Taylor Greenes come from?" "Well, when a gun and a bag of meth love each other very much…"

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

Lauren Boebert said "I'm tired of this separation of church and state junk". Retweet if you think it's time to separate Lauren Boebert from her job.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

BREAKING: The mayor of Oroville, CA declared the city a "Constitutional Republic" in an effort to get around vaxx and mask laws. THIS YEAR Oroville used federal funds to fight fires AND rebuild their damn. If they were independent, they would be both on fire and underwater.

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

2 years

To all the companies that raised their prices "because of the increase in fuel costs", now that gas prices have dropped by almost 25% to the lowest they've been in 6 months, you're going to drop prices back down, right?

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Steve Hofstetter

@SteveHofstetter

3 years

How did you feel when you found out that Larry Elder lost by millions of votes? GIFs only.

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