Rocky Mountain Mike @RockyMntnMike Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Dick Van Dyke, 93, Carl Reiner, 97, Mel Brooks, 92 and Norman Lear, 96.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

Things to do while waiting for your car at the Walmart Automotive Center.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

I suddenly realize spending six bucks for a cup of coffee is not American.

CNN Politics

@CNNPolitics

5 years

Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz defends calling Medicare-for-all proposal "not American"

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

Fisher Price has just released Eric Trump’s phone records.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 months

Courtesy of @StephenAtHome

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Remember, if you spent the night in a Red State, set your clock back 150 years.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

The people who want to #DefundNPR are voting for the guy who morally bankrupted America.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Facebook has upheld its ban on Trump, but you can still browse Matt Gaetz on Tinder.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Joe Scarborough compared Trump to Eddie Haskell, but even Eddie Haskell wouldn't stoop to grabbing anyone by the Beaver.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

1 year

What do I want for Christmas? Some of what she’s smoking.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

If we could get all the people who care about Miley Cyrus and Kaitlynn Carter splitting up, plus all the people who want to storm Area 51 to care about our government, we could have Trump impeached in 5 minutes.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Oh, it will end. Mueller’s got a bucket of water with your name on it.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

5 years

This Witch Hunt must end!

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

Today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year. The longest day of the year is Christmas with your relatives.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

8 years

How The Grinch Stole The Electoral College #NameAPenceMusical

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

7 years

When Paul Ryan told Trump they didn't have the votes for Trumpcare, I would have given anything to be a microwave on the wall.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

If this book is so “phony”, why do you plug it three times per hour? Are you getting a cut?

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

6 years

“It is mostly anonymous sources in here, why should anyone trust you? General Mattis, General Kelly said it’s not true.” @SavannahGuthrie @TODAYshow Bob Woodward is a liar who is like a Dem operative prior to the Midterms. He was caught cold, even by NBC.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

The people who call Democrats “communists” are driving around in trucks displaying the flag of a country whose leader is a former KGB agent and wants to bring back the Soviet Union. Help me out here.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

1 year

He’s on eBay?

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Today, thanks to prayers and family support, I’m celebrating 5 years being windmill cancer-free.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

More bad news for Devin Nunes.

BBC News (World)

@BBCWorld

5 years

German court defends cows' clanging bells

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Hello #MAGA people! Answer me this. If the Mueller report “exonerates” the president*, why are Senate Republicans blocking its release?

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

7 years

When Paul Ryan told Trump they didn't have the votes for Trumpcare, I would have given anything to be a microwave on the wall.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

7 months

We have a winner.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Me, waving goodbye to Corporate America. I have left the building. Retirement, here I come!

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

Proof that Trump can de-classify anything.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

I am now going to refer to Trump fans as Brandon Flakes.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Stephen Miller will be OK. His only threatening condition is the 2nd-degree burns he suffered when he grabbed the headpiece to the Staff of Rah in that fire.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

1 year

Brian Williams lost his job. Dan Rather lost his job. Why do Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity still have their jobs?

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

I’m getting out and voting this motherfucker out in November if I have to do it in a fucking space suit.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Let’s get Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill, but let’s also get women that $20 without having to do $26 worth of work.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

Same as the old Klan

David Alan Grier AKA #LeonMusk

@davidalangrier

2 years

Meet the new Klan

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

Lie. Obama added to the debt, but didn’t double it. Half of that was putting the Iraq war on the books and Bush’s Medicare Part D. Funny to hear you talking about Matt Lauer when you’re an admitted sexual predator.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

6 years

Funny to hear the Democrats talking about the National Debt when President Obama doubled it in only 8 years!

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

7 years

Anthony Scaramucci is leaving the White House press secretary job to spend more time looking for a new family to spend time with.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

1 year

I see Cat Stevens is trending. I think it's commendable that he's finally admitting that George Santos wrote all those songs.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

My nomination for Time magazine’s Person Of The Year.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

I can’t function quite right since I learned that my 22 year-old granddaughter has COVID after she and her boyfriend refused to get vaccinated. He’s a military guy and has conned her into thinking the vaccines are a government conspiracy. This is all on Rupert Murdoch.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

BREAKING: Fisher Price turns over Eric’s phone records.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

The lesson here is don’t let the House fall into Republican hands, because if we do, THEY WILL impeach Biden in 2023 over smelling someone’s hair.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

The day after Reinstatement Day is the best time to get a great deal on decorations for the next Reinstatement Day.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

Well, I guess at least Donald, Eric, Don Jr. and Ivanka will remember the 21st of September.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Please, people. Pace yourselves. Try not to spend all your time laughing about Giuliani being in trouble. Try to spend some of that time laughing about how Devin Nunes is in trouble and how Joni Ernst is a fucking idiot.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

BREAKING: Trump’s “shithole” remark prompts F-52 pilot to defect to Nambia.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Instead of vetting 25,000 National Guard troops in 2021, wouldn’t it have been easier to vet one presidential candidate in 2016?

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

8 days

My niece Tiffany, always the sassy one, after years of health issues, sadly passed away yesterday morning. She got her masters in Public Health with a minor in Anthropology at Tulane. She definitely had a mind of her own and will be missed. So long, and rest easy Tiff.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Terrifying video of American drone pilot being taken away from wreckage by Iranian captors.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

I just got word that my girlfriend’s eldest son died in a freak accident earlier today. He was 40 and left two kids behind. Everyone take care of each other out there. You never know.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Cracker Barrel is the most aptly-named business in history.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

We saved democracy. I made three jingles for @MalcolmNance . You’re welcome.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

1 year

It’s the little things in life that being the most joy.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but we have less than 37 days to purchase Greenland.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Thoughts and prayers.

The Daily Beast

@thedailybeast

5 years

BREAKING: NRA pulls the plug on NRATV

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Because they’re bastard people.

The Daily Beast

@thedailybeast

5 years

Trump administration revokes $929 million in grants for California rail project

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Will Brandon and Karen ever get together?

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Tonight, I’m watching an opposing view to the Holocaust.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

10 days

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

This is what happens when Democrats don’t vote for Democrats.

ThinkProgress

@thinkprogress

6 years

Mining to begin in national monument eliminated by Trump

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, please note I have deleted my account. My experience had devolved into arguing with Trump supporters who were Facebook friends of my Facebook friends, and life is too short. Also, Facebook is evil and Mark Zuckerberg is an asshole.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

I’d rather have a “ghost candidate” than a candidate responsible for 200,000 ghosts.

James Woods

@RealJamesWoods

4 years

#JoeBiden is the only presidential candidate in history to wage a campaign in absentia. Between his basement, his “lid,” and his surrogates handling his social media, he is the quintessential #GhostCandidate .

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

Trump pulling out of the Iran deal gives America a brand new thing for your Fox News-watching uncle to be completely full of shit about.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

To all the #MAGA hatters who cheered on Trump ignoring the press’s questions about McCain and then said terrible things about the late Senator on the Fox News web site before they had to disable comments, fuck you. Fuck every last one of you.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Our president is the joke of the world!

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

4 years

Our Economy is the envy of the World!

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Congratulations, @realDonaldTrump In 2018, you tanked the stock market, shut down the federal government, set a record trade deficit, became the object of 17 different investigations, pissed off our military leaders and still didn’t get any money for that stupid fucking wall.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

They have to wait until we have an actual president.

MSNBC

@MSNBC

6 years

UPDATE: FEMA's upcoming 'Presidential Alert' test has been postponed.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

My mother was a Democrat, and she was a capitalist. She presided over three banks in an era where that was unheard of from a woman in Oklahoma. She thought Trump supporters were fucking idiots. Her funeral is Tuesday. It’s sad she’s gone, but I’m glad she didn’t witness Monday.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Trump supporters are threatening to move to Canada if Biden wins. Only this time, Canada won’t let them because they might have been infected with a parasitic contagion that causes permanent damage and death. Also, they might have COVID.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Maybe I’m not alone in this, but even before the pandemic, I found myself getting more & more withdrawn, not wanting to get out and go places in America because of this overwhelming sense of “What the fuck is WRONG with you people?”. This not being a landslide has made it worse.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

I’ve never been in Facebook jail before, but I finally made it last night. It turns out “Eat shit and die” is not something you can say to someone who supports a cop-killing ex-president.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

This #BlackHistoryMonth , remember if blacks, whites and browns don’t join forces this year to beat orange, we’ll all be history in about a month.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Just like everyone else, I was disappointed that Mueller’s report was released Friday and stole Story Of The Week from Devin Nunes’ Cow.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

1 year

President Biden has just released 150 million gallons from America’s strategic popcorn reserves.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

Sarah Palin says Trump can’t be a racist because he went to see DMZ.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

I don’t THINK there was a Bill Gates microchip in that vaccine I got yesterday, but my body is asking me if I want the updates now or at 2 am.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

My MAGA neighbor has warned me that the new COVID booster will turn me into a black mermaid.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

And not setting foot in one of those greasy places is part of mine.

ThinkProgress

@thinkprogress

5 years

Chick-fil-A Foundation says anti-LGBTQ giving is part of its ‘higher calling’

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

The people who insist you need an ID to vote say vaccine passports are an intrusion on their rights.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

Aaannnd, just like that, Trump calls for a ban on assault rifles...

Raw Story

@RawStory

4 years

WATCH: Huge group of armed Black protesters march on Confederate monument in Georgia #NFAC

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

BREAKING: FBI agents have seized Eric Trump’s phone.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

1 week ago today - positive COVID test results. Again, I was shocked because I’ve been an even better hermit than Stephanie Miller. This was the first day I woke up without that cruddy “infected” feeling. Still have a ways to go, but thanks to everyone who sent well-wishes.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 months

Happy holidays!

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

OK, it's time for everyone to shut the fuck up and vote for the guy who knows what year the Spanish Flu happened, knows the three branches of government and who hasn't openly bragged about wanting to fuck his own daughter. OK????????

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

This morning in a church in Boone, North Carolina. “Dear Lord, if there is any reason Trump should not be our president, just give us a sign. Any kind of sign...”

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

Just in case anyone was out there thinking he wasn’t a dick.

ThinkProgress

@thinkprogress

6 years

Maine’s Gov. LePage uses final days in office to resist expanding Medicaid

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

Judy Tenuta didn’t have to follow me on Twitter, but she did. That’s how nice she was. RIP

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

4 years

In my day, when uniformed men showed up in the city in strange vehicles without legal authority, they at least had a reason.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

5 years

We can’t get a doctor to tell us the status of Trump’s health, but today, he received a long-overdue Cohenoscopy.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

A Trump Rally

Paula Poundstone

@paulapoundstone

3 years

What event would you like to invite the Taliban to?

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 months

BREAKING: Court documents reveal that Hunter Biden used his father’s connections to save up to fifteen percent on his car insurance.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

6 years

Thanks for everything, Mom. 10/8/1931-7/13/2018.❤️

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

2 years

This year, I’m celebrating President’s Day by getting up at 5, tweeting about Oprah & Hillary, watching Fox and Friends, showing up for work at 11, wrapping it up at 4, starting a riot and then taking classified documents.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike

3 years

Who's making "Oedipus" trend? Motherfuckers.

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Rocky Mountain Mike

@RockyMntnMike