Richard Pulsford @RichardPulsford Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

If you say Brexit three times, Nigel Farage will appear on tv #AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

8 years

Belittle Women #TrumpaNovel

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Trump, you took one hell of a beating, BY A LOT

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

"Nobody puts bayleaf in a korma" #TeachAFilmToCook

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

So I was telling my friend I hate backgammon. And draughts. He said "Hate chess too?" I said, "Don't even get me started on that high-speed rail project." #UKPunDay #1Pun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

Waiting for the results of the voting #Eurovision

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

They're going to commission yet another series of Mrs Brown's Boys #AwfullyBritishFears

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Put on one's best suit and get comfortable #AwfullyBritishBedtimeRoutines

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

The Fridges of Madison County #RuinABookTitleInOneLetter

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

@jameshannah Trainpotting

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

Tax Return of the Jedi #MakeAFilmLessExciting

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

And for 40 days and 40 nights there was a bus replacement service #AwfullyBritishBibleQuotes

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Get paid for doing a job you can sleep through #AwfullyBritishMoneySavingTips

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Let him who is without sin cast the first scone #AwfullyBritishBibleQuotes

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

Drive at 40mph on a 60mph limit single carriageway and maintain exactly the same speed when entering and driving through a 30mph zone #AwfullyBritishHighwayCode

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

Harrow, is it me you're looking for? #MakeAsongMiddleClass

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

I hear Neil Diamond has already had 3 of his 5 fruit and veg portions today: Swede, Carrot, Lime... #1Pun #UKPunDay

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

My biscuit has fallen into my tea #AwfullyBritish999Calls

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Celebrate not having to put the bins out tomorrow #AwfullyBritishLastDayOnEarth

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Name this band [photo from Mail Online]

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Bus Replacement Service #AwfullyBritishFears

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Sir Walter Raleigh used to run a bike shop #AwfullyBritishFakeHistory

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Happy birthday, Sandi Toksvig, born 3rd May 1958! (seen here with Terry Wogan and some footballer)!

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

Tax Return of the Jedi #AddAWordRuinAMovie

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Set 3 alarms then check them all again #AwfullyBritishBedtimeRoutines

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

The World is not an ouef #MakeAFilmEggy

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Limp Brexit #AwfullyBritishBands

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

I've just found a Prime Minister hiding in my fridge #AwfullyBritish999Calls

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Smack my bishop #SongsHeardInChurch

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Well i never, I've just got through to The Scottish Comedian of the Year final!!!😄

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

So I was runner-up in the Scottish Comedian of the Year competition! Nae bad at all!!😁

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I've received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training programme. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Ooh, I've just got through to the semi-finals of the Scottish Comedian of the Year competition!

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Karl Marx and Frank Spencer #famouslymatched

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Oh my, just heard my uncle has died. 2020 really really sucks. I don't think I'll want to do the usual jokes and Thursday hashtag game tonight. I really need some kindness and hugs from people more than ever right now.

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

Highway to Hull (the M62) #SongsFromYorkshire

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

If someone says Brexit three times Nigel Farage appears on Question Time #AwfullyBritishOldWivesTales

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Green Bin Day #AwfullyBritishBands

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

The Texas Seesaw Massacre #MakeAFilmChildish

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

Gary Neville wears Prada #MakeAFilmLessInteresting

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

Fifty Sheds of Grain #MakeAFilmVegan

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Just being him #AwfullyBritishOffences

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

I'm a friar starter #SongsHeardInChurch

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Fighting against the Germans stopped briefly in the unofficial Christmas Truce of 1914, only for hostilities to resume over a particularly controversial VAR decision #AwfullyBritishFakeHistory

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

KC and the Occasional Sunshine Band #AwfullyBritishBands

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I've had the jab. Do you fancy one too? #AwfullyBritishChatUpLines

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I've imported a seed from Bavaria which makes an "Acht" sound when it sprouts. You can actually hear it German eight. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

Grillers in the Mist #TeachAFilmToCook

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

God was pleased with what he had made and so on the seventh day he rested and set to work on his blog, and so became a content Creator #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

I just saw a sports car, driven by a scantily-clad young sheep - it was in a lamb bikini #1Pun #UKPunDay

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

The 39 Naughty Steps #MakeAFilmChildish

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

While watching Kenneth Williams... I can report that I currently have a warm pussy between my legs...

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Have one last drinking session with friends and celebrate everything you achieved in life #AwfullyBritishLastDayOnEarth

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Cut your own hair and buy only half a pair of glasses #AwfullyBritishMoneySavingTips

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

The Incredible Sulk #MakeAFilmChildish

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

My wife has handed me a one-way ticket to Norfolk. There's no coming back from Diss. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

The Godfather Ted #MakeAFilmIrish

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Save on the cost of decorations by using an old coat hanger and some tinsel #AwfullyBritishMoneySavingTips

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

The exact timing of putting on one's coat before leaving the house so one will still feel the benefit #AwfullyBritishWinterProblems

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

I Ain't Half Cut, Mum #AlcoholicTVshows

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

All Doughs go to Leaven #FilmsMadeOfBread

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

Mr. & Mrs. WHSmith #TakeAFilmToTheHighStreet

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Brimful of fascists with the '45' #NorthAmericanSongsAndMovies

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

- Help! My bath is leaking round the edges. What will fix it, and where can I get it? - New sealant? - Is there nowhere closer? #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Harrow #AwfullyBritishSongsAndBands

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

There will be Blood Tests #MakeAFilmOlympic

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

Escape from York #MakeAFilmLessExciting

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Buffering the Vampire Slayer #MakeSomeoneSlower

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Does anyone else remember a time when you were only allowed to use the house phone (which was in the cold hallway) after 6pm when it was cheaper evening rates? Thanks to @Maria264506501 for making me trawl up that memory.

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Green Bin Day #AwfullyBritishSongsAndBands

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Writing a play #AwfullyBritishBedtimeRoutines

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I can make a meat and cheese sandwich using both hands - I'm ham brie dexterous #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

Goodnight, Molly, my sweet companion.🐈‍⬛ She passed away in my arms this evening 💔

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

When I was a child someone asked me "Where's your mama gone?" I said she's gone off with a Nepalese mountain guide in an off-terrain vehicle. She said, "Sherpa, sherpa, jeep, jeep?" I said, "No there was only one of each." [This is a middle of the road joke] #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

Two pairs of small birds in my garden must be ill. I know this from the four wrens sick evidence. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I don't know what you call a small spillage from a pen but I have an inkling #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I can arrange a four candle-lit dinner #AwfullyBritishChatUpLines

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

A tornado ripped the roof off my house, scattering all the waltz music LPs in my loft, and that's how I got post-storm attic Strauss disorder #LunchPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

I can make a meat and cheese sandwich using both hands. I'm ham brie dexterous. #UKPunDay

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

My chemistry book says: "The noble gases include Neon, Xenon, and K ypton" which makes me wonder, where's the 'r' gone? #UKPunDay

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

I see you baby taking that mass #SongsHeardInChurch

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

Trying to stop family members from joining Twitter as well #AwfullyBritishTwitterProblems

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

It's the Filey Countdown #SongsFromYorkshire

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

My chemistry book says: "The noble gases include Neon, Xenon, and K ypton" which makes me wonder, where's the 'r' gone? #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

Thrifty Ways to Leave Your Lover #SongsFromYorkshire

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

[Being interviewed for Farmer's Market licence] - Full Name? - Richard Pulsford COS - What does the 'COS' stand for? - Nothing. I've just always fancied having lettuce after my name. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Simon Cowell and Garfunkel #Makeabandlesspopular

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

OK whomever said 'Brexit' three times, you've only gone and made Nigel Farage appear on TV and all over Twitter again

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

7 years

Blessed are the cheesemakers, Gromit #AwfullyBritishBibleQuotes

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

I don't know what you call a small spillage from a pen but I have an inkling #NationalTellAJokeDay

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

2 years

- I've been asked to organise a lunch for some ex-BBC weather forecasters but there's no drinks left and I really don't know what I'm doing - Fish out of water? - Yeah. And Kettley's out of juice. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

We don't need a Caffe Nero #CoffeeAndTeaTunes

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 years

@eliistender10 I hope North Tyneside is at the top. Then you'll have a stairway to Hebburn.

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

6 months

Tinsel noun The young Yorkshireman who can't attract women and is therefore hostile towards them #LunchPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

8 years

#WhyICantLeaveTwitter Brexit is difficult enough without me having to Twexit as well

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

4 years

Did anyone else see Doggerland trending and get totally the wrong idea?🙄😂

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

- A cannibal broke into no.10 yesterday evening and had Boris Johnson for dinner - Ate PM?! - I don't know what time it happened #LunchPun #RateMyPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

5 years

A Nightmare in Dunelm Street #TakeAFilmToTheHighStreet

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

1 year

Why are there loads of small holes around the outside of the dartboard. Am I missing something? #LunchPun

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Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford

3 years

The Chemical Toilet Brothers #AddAWordRuinABand

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