BREAKING: The first HS2 train for the North of England runs today, the new service will link Birmingham (Warwickshire) to Manchester (Chesire) and Barnsley (Lancashire) in just 71.75hrs and cost only £800.85bil to build. Tickets will cost £717.5 (Off-Peak)
Filmed from a Canberra
SPOILER ALERT: Many of you have messaged to ask if
#Vigil
is filmed onboard HMS Sinky and if submarines really are that big! we can confirm that it is filmed onboard HMS Sinky and have attached a handy "Visitors Guide to HMS Sinky" that will help you through tonights episode
BREAKING: All A380 jet planes are now equipped with an Aerial Repair Service Engineer who can fix up to 8% of engine problems while the plane is airborne.
#SafetyFirst
#AvGeek
BREAKING: The final design for the new royal yacht has been approved. HMS Flagboat will launch on 1st April 2022 & will be built at the Navy's Portsmouth boat park costing just £250billion, it will feature a golf course the size of 253.2 London buses!
Photographed from a Canberr
BREAKING: A380's Chemtrail dispenser accidentally activated while refuelling at John Lennon Airport in Manchester (Staffordshire) releasing over 80.085 tons of Ionised Droplets Improvement Of Thoughts gas into the area
Photographed from a Canberra
#Chemtrails
#Planespotting
BREAKING: A Eurovision Typhoon fighter jet has intercepted a car with 4 occupants on the M11 in Chigwell (London) making a non-essential journey during
#COVID19
#tier5
#lockdownuk
restrictions.
#AvGeek
BREAKING: The new Royal Yacht, HMS Phil, will join our fleet next year, costing just £200billion it will be a Balmoral themed yacht with an indoor golf course, beach with wave machine, go-kart track and McDonalds restaurant serving breakfast all day!
#RoyalYacht
Fact if the Day: The A380 can balance on top of a metal crane for up to 12hrs while waiting for permission to land. The World Record for Balancing On Ore Building Industry Equipment/Structures is 71.75hrs held by Sqn Ldr Nottie Zactly-Trew
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: A 747 Jumbo Jet with its distinctive swollen head tries to sneak up on an unsuspecting Puma helicopter. This can look like a cute game of 'hide n seek' but the 747 needs to eat 3 Pumas a day just to survive the cold winter months
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: C17 practices a hill start on Ben Nevis (tallest mountain in Wales)
Pilot Sqn Ldr Nottie Zactly-Trew will have to complete 10 successful Hill starts on the 7.175° slope before moving on to the more difficult 8.0085° slope
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
Photo of the Day: Vulcan bombers at
#RAFLuton
gather to sniff the rear of a new Vulcan bomber before letting it join their squadron. Most pilots do the same thing with new pilots
#AvGeek
BREAKING: Super Army Soldiers covering for striking
#RMT
staff detain passengers on the Jubilee Line for travelling without a valid ticket as part of Operation Choo Choo and The War Against Ticket Scams
Photographed from a Canberra
#strikes
#Train
Fact of the Day: The SAAB 36D Viggen (Viggen is French for Vegan) is the only fully Vegan jet fighter! It runs purely on vegetable oil and liquidised seaweed, on average the Viggen tells 80,085 people a day that it's Vegan
Photographed from a Canberra
#Aviation
Fact of the Day: The Lynx attack helicopter is powered by a log burning fire and carries a supply of logs, and 2 semi-nuclear missiles at all times making it the most sustainable and environmentally friendly attack helicopter in the world
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
BREAKING: F15s have been scrambled (Sorry Sophie) to intercept a UFO entering UK airspace
Merry Christmas to you all!
Spare a thought for the good people of the armed forces, emergency services and anyone else working over the Christmas break.
Photographed from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: The F16 will lay on its back and "play dead" when it feels under threat (often from bully F15s) or when baddie planes are likely to shoot at it. It returns to its normal operating position after a good belly rub from its pilot.
#AvGeek
Photo of the Day: Warboats arrive at Portsmouth Boat Park ready for their renaming ceremonies. The boats will be renamed HMS (His Majesty's Ship) from the current HMS (Her Majesty's Ship)
Each renaming ceremony will cost just £80,005 and last 3 days
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: V22 Osprey has become stuck in the Manchester Ship canal after a strong wind blew it of course, The Helijet was carrying humanitarian aid to war torn Liverpool as part of Operation Northern Monkey
Photographed from a Canberra
#aviationdaily
BREAKING: Photo of the farm in Chyna where the
#ChinaSpyBalloon
are grown.
It's believed up to 80,085 Balloons a year are grown here, each costing just $71.75 & that the plan is to bankrupt the USA as Sky Pigeon anti balloon missiles cost over $80,085
📸 from a Canberra
#UFO
BREAKING: Concorde crashes in field after police chase through the McLoop in
#Scotland
(Largest county in England)
Police recorded Concorde travelling at 71.75mph in a 30mph zone and at one point it hit 80.085mph
Photographed from a Canberra
#Avgeeks
BREAKING: We can confirm the loud noise heard over the UK today was a Eurovision Typhoon fighter jet from the Fast Air Response Team based at
#RAFLuton
that was scrambled after reports of a man on a motorbike making a non-essential journey on the A40 in Whitechapel
#Covid19UK
Photo of the Day: Protestor Removal Armoured Tanks arrive in London as part of Operation Crusty Soapdodger to assist local authorities remove/eliminate any protestors planning to disrupt the
#CoronationWeekend
Photographed from a Canberra
#GodSaveTheKing
#Coronation
BREAKING: Minesweeper HMS Warboat is returning to Portsmouth Boatpark after an allergic reaction to a Bee sting. The war boat that cost just £800.85billion was not carrying any Anti Hister Mines at the time of the sting
Photographed from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: The Agusta BF109-E Ecocopter gunship can turn off its spinny things for up to 15mins when in "whisper mode" to save battery charge, this is also a benefit for sneaking up on baddies before firing one of its semi-nuclear missiles.
#Sustainability
#AvGeek
BREAKING: US F35 shoots down another
#UFO
believed to be a
#ChinaSpyBalloon
over the town of Hanna in Montana. The F35 used 71.75 Sky Sparrow anti balloon missiles to destroy the UFO, only 26 F35s were shot down during the operation
Photographed from a Canberra
#UFO
#spyballoon
A Happy New Year to all of you, your families and loved ones
Thanks for all the laughs, interactions and support
Let's hope 2022 is better for all of us.
Tweeted from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: The P51 Hurricane is the only airplane that can use its spinny thing like a helicopter does to hover for up to 800.85hrs, during WW1 (1926) pilots would wait for Baddie planes over the English Channel for upto 7.175 days!
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
BREAKING: Super Army Soldiers in battery powered Eco-Defence 209 tanks have deployed to petrol stations around the
#UK
to assist local authorities dealing with angry motorists queuing for
#fuel
during the
#fuelshortage
Photographed from a Canberra
#fuelcrisis
#fuelshortages
BREAKING: Super Army Soldiers visited the home of a
#InsulateBritain
protestor this afternoon to discuss blocking roads for Ambulances. Unfortunately they were unable to park and shall try again tomorrow.
Photo of the Day: B2 Stealth Fighters fly over Ben Nevis (Tallest mountain in Wales = England's 3rd largest county) which was made famous in the hit movie ET The Terrestrial of the Third Kind starring Will Smith & Jeff Goldblum
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: U2 spy plane fires steam powered Paveway semi-nuclear bombs during Operation Certain Oblivion. Steam powered semi-nuclear weapons have far less impact on the environment than conventional rocket fuel powered bombs.
#Sustainability
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: F15 fires warning shot at man not wearing a
#FaceMask
and believed to visiting several households in the UK. The man is thought to have not had a
#BoosterJab
and is not
#SocialDistancing
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: A Merlin helicopter carries out a roadblock in Chiswick (London) to assist local authorities find 2 ladies seen queuing for coffee without facemasks who were over 2 miles from their home.
#COVID19
#Lockdown4
BREAKING: Due to the recent increase in "stupid" we've made the Parody Account part of our bio easier to spot. If anyone knows how to make it font size 10,000 please let us know.
BREAKING: F35 jet lost over Scotland (England's largest county)
The £80.085mil warplane was last seen stuck in a cloud over Glasgow. If anyone has seen the jet please call Sqn Ldr Nottie Zactly-Trew on 0800857175
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: The Canberra is in its hangar at LARPA for routine maintenance so we won't be tweeting for a while.
Best wishes to you all, stay safe.
Photographed from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: The A400 Hercules puts on over 80,085lbs of fat during the winter months (all year round when operating in Scotland - England's largest & coldest county) to help it keep warm
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: Super Puma helicopters carrying National Express coaches will be used to connect Bradford (Derbyshire) to Leeds (Chesire) as part of new
#HS2
(Heli Shuttle) plans, reducing the travel time from 80.085hrs to just 7.175mins!
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: A400-MCD (Mobile Charging Device) recharges a B2 Stealth Fighter (Left) and an F22 (Right) using its USB2 charging cables, the cables can also be used to tow the airplanes, saving up to £800.85 per hour in fuel costs
Photographed from a Canberra
#aviationlovers
Fact of the Day: Candidates can apply to join the Super Army Soldiers as young as 2 months old, if accepted they join the British Army Battalion Youth training programme. Here Private Jay Sunborn makes his first parachute jump over Lincolnshire.
Photographed from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: F16 shows its surrender by raising its wings to the much bigger F15. It is believed that on the average runway boat up to 71% of F16s suffer bullying from F15s. The government have set aside £280mil for the University of Luton to research the phenomenon.
Fact of the Day: The C17 can eat up to 8x F35 a day but removes the wings before eating as they get stuck in its teeth. The F35 tastes a lot like chicken.
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
#aviationdaily
Fact of the Day: Soldiers on guard at Buckingham Palace balance on their right foot during the
#Coronation
as the transfer of power is moved to King Charles III, once the King is crowned their left foot will lower to signify the completion of power transfer
📸 from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: The Lancaster fighter jet can survive being away from a 5* Mess for up to 6hrs by drinking from streams, the crew often use the inclined fuselage as a slide while the Lancaster rehydrates.
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
#aviationlovers
#aviationdaily
@WindsorDebs
@metoffice
@GOVUK
Hi Debs, A Squadron of Eurovision Typhoons dispersed
#Chemtrails
(or to give them their proper name Ionised Droplets Improvement Of Thoughts gas) over Windsor this week to assist local authorities with Population Reproduction Advanced Termination
Photographed from a Canberra
🔴Royal Marines have forced US troops to surrender just days into a training exercise after eliminating almost the entire unit.
The British commandos “dominated” US forces during a training exercise in California, using a new battle structure
Thread🧵👇
Photo of the Day: The last A380 to be built at the factory in Bristols is carried on HMS Minirunwayboat along the River Severn and under the Clifton Suspension bridge to meet HMS Biggerboat before being released into the wild.
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: This English Eco-Electric Lightning has been discovered in Hyde Park (London) by Tony and the
#TimeTeam
, they believe it dates back to the Battle of Dagenham in 1852 and was flown by Flt Lt Nottie Zactly-Trew
Photographed from a Canberra
#aviationlovers
BREAKING: Eurovision Typhoon from the Fast Airplane Reaction Team fills up with 95,000ltrs of super unleaded
#fuel
so that it can keep protecting the UK skies from baddie airplanes if scrambled (Sorry Sophie).
Photographed from a Canberra
#fuelshortage
#AvGeek
#fuelcrisis
BREAKING: New Chief of the Air Force named as Gp Capt Slowe. The former Jaguar XJS pilot has left 80085Sqn where he flew 7175 missions over war-torn Penarth, in his spare time he enjoys touring in his Dacia Sandero and collecting shirts
Photographed from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Luton underground.
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: The Red Arrows display team are going green to save the planet! The Alpha Jet jets are being converted to run on unleaded petrol instead of the £7,999.99 per litre jet fuel currently used. The new unleaded petrol will produce smoke thats totally pollution free!
#AvGeek
BREAKING: To celebrate the last flight of the 747 (and to show
@Qantas
how it should be done) (and to show
@British_Airways
what they should have done) we sent up a Eurovision Typhoon to draw a giant Jumbo Jet over the UK
#747farewell
#RAFLuton
#AvGeek
Photo of the Day: A400 bombers queue for diesel at a petrol station just outside Doncaster in Lincolnshire during the
#FuelShortage
of late 2021
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
BREAKING: The Eco Defence 209 unmanned tank is the world's first environmentally friendly battery powered driverless tank. It's powered by 142x AA batteries and can be remotely operated via an Xbox controller from up to 8ft away! It will be tested at the next
#LondonProtest
Photo of the Day: A Tornado F3s (small) and F3L (Large) fly over the Tyne Bridge and Sage music venue in Sunderland where Geordies gather to celebrate the annual Fog on the Tyne festival starring local Mackem legend Jimmy Nail
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: Super Army Soldiers in a Chieftan tank help local authorities detain a man illegally selling ice creams in Green Park (London) during DefCon 5
#Heatwave
conditions as part of Operation Meltdown
Photographed from a Canberra
#Heatwave2022
BREAKING: The Boffins at LARPA have spent the day with
#CarrieAntoinette
putting the finishing touches to the
@hms_tamar
#Dazzle
paint job that will help confuse the enemy during patrols of Knightsbridge and Kensington (London)
#BoatGeek
Photo of the Day: Vulcan pilot Sqn Ldr Barbara "Barbary" McBarbara swaps insurance details with F3 Tornado pilot Sqn Ldr Jo "Joey" McJoeter after the Vulcan collided with the F3's open sunroof while looking for a parking space
Photographed from a Canberra
#InternationalWomensDay
Photo of the Day: C5 Hercules loaded with illegal migrants (each C5 can carry 800.85 migrants) queue for take off at RAF Luton and will deliver the migrants to
#Rwanda
by 6pm today as part of The War Against Travel
Photographed from a Canberra
#MigrantsDay
#aviationphotography
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning
We will remember them.
Remembered from a Canberra
Fact of the Day: Chinook helicopter transports a tranquillised Triceratops that was found roaming King's Lynn (Suffolk) to the Jurassic Park conservation area on the Isle of White (Dorset) on this day 1926
Photographed from a Canberra
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
Photographed from a Canberra
BREAKING: Super Boat Soldiers (Like SAS but boat) have located the
#F35
that made an emergency landing on the bottom of the Mediterranean ocean and will guard it from baddie divers until the AA Recovery team arrive.
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
BREAKING: A400 performs a show of force to break up a group of walkers who were not wearing
#FaceMasks
on Weston-super-Mare beach.
Together we will win The War Against Transmission
Filmed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
#Omicron
#COVID19
BREAKING: HMS Spinnything, the world's first wind powered Heli-Boat to begin sea trials. Costing £80,081.35 & able to operate in winds of up to 3mph she is fitted with 2 Eco Peace Cannons & 48 semi-nuclear missles and is the worlds most environmentally warboat
📸 from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: The only photo ever taken of Concorde travelling at mack6 using a special one shot roll of film, taken from a Canberra over the Irish Sea that Concorde was struggling to keep up with.
Photographed from a Canberra
#aviationlovers
#avgeeks
#aviationphotography
Fact of the Day: HMS England is the UK's new flagship Royal yacht, costing just £80.085bil it features 8 Michelin star restaurants, 62 bars, 4 nightclubs, an indoor go-kart track and a 71.75m ski slope made from a recycled iceberg
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: C17 cargo jet delivers single use battery powered private jet to Glasgow Air Force base for the
#COP26Glasgow
Private Jet Show. Single Use Corporate Kingsize Executive Recyclable jets are the way forward for eco-aviation.
Photographed from a Canberra
#COP26
Fact of the Day: A mother U2 Stealth planes leads her young from the hangar for its first flight. A U2 will learn to fly from just 2 weeks of age, many do not survive and are attacked by lesser stealth planes, only one in seventy baby U2s will survive!
#AvGeek
Honorary Station CO Colonel Chuck "Lone wolf" McQuade today hands over
#RAFLuton
to Commander Jason "Craig" Bourne who becomes the 7th Commanding Officer of the worlds most mysterious & secret military base.
Merry Christmas: To celebrate
#Christmas
we've covered the Millennium Falcon gate guardian in 80,085 fairy lights!
It took 71.75 Super Army Soldiers just 80,081.35 hours to put the lights in position
Photographed from a Canberra
#StarWarsSquadrons
#IveGotABadFeelingAboutThis
BREAKING: A Spy Balloon has been spotted flying over America, the CIA (Centre of Information on Airballoons) thought it could Russian but Boffins at the FBI (Floating Balloon Information) confirmed it was from Chyna.
#ChinaSpyBalloon
Photographed from a Canberra
On This Day 316yrs ago HMS Warboat accompanied HMS Sailyboat back to the UK after defeating the baddies at the Battle of Trafalgar, HMS Sailyboat was renamed HMS Victory by King Arthur to commemorate the win.
Photographed from a Canberra
Photo of the Day: HMS Warboat is carrying an iceberg the size of 80085 London buses from the North Pole to the
#COP26Glasgow
Private Jet Show to demonstrate the amount of ice used worldwide by Gin & Tonic drinkers every 6mins!
Photographed from a Canberra
#COP26
#IceIceBaby