Jon Pigeon @PigeonJon Twitter profile

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 months

NOT NOW LARRY.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

2 years

NOT NOW LARRY. FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

2 years

This is fine. This is fine. This is fine. Aah Fuck.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

I am a Fucking Pigeon with 40,000 more followers than you.

Arron Banks

@Arron_banks

5 years

I’m a multi millionaire and you have 37 followers

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO LARRY. Twat.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

2 years

THAT WAS NOT FUCKING NEEDED.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

My review of 2016. Someone Died. Someone Died. Someone Died. Someone Died. Stupid Vote. Someone Died. Stupid Vote. Someone Died. Christmas.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Turns out a Hung Parliament does Not Actually mean everyone in Parliament gets Hanged. Frankly Livid about this.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Taught some goats how to use their walks, now they’re Women’s Goats and think they fucking Own the place

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

More people follow me than voted for the New Prime Minister. Yep. And I am a Fucking Pigeon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

Here is my Review of 2018. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Russia poisoned People. Brexit. Hot. Football didn’t come home. Still Fucking Hot. Brexit. Russia poisoned more People. Brexit. Brexit. Theresa May can’t Dance. Brexit. Brexit. Trump was a Div. Brexit. Pissing Brexit. Christmas.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

1 year

FUCKING HAVE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

BBC Breakfast

@BBCBreakfast

1 year

Stop the pigeon...😂 On #BBCBreakfast Naga & Ben shared CCTV footage of the moment a pigeon crashed into a man's head as he strolled to the shops

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

HERE ARE THE NEW COVID RESTRICTIONS: TIER 1 : WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, BUT KEEP DOING IT. TIER 2 : YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, STOP DOING THAT AND START DOING OTHER THINGS WRONG INSTEAD. TIER 3 : YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, PLEASE RETRAIN AS A BALLET DANCER.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

9 years

We're beginning to Suspect our mate Massive Carl is not actually a Pigeon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Here is the Government Press Conference: Complicated graph. Complicated graph. Complicated graph. Complicated graph. Easy graph. Easy graph. Complicated graph. Complicated graph. Complicated graph. Big swooshy graph. A Graph. Complicated graph. Bumbling Idiot. Close the shops.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Off to Shit on People who are giving Nazi Salutes towards a Statue of a Man who fought to stop people giving Nazi Salutes.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Even the Pigeons Fought the Nazis, @realDonaldTrump . The Fucking Pigeons, Donald.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

2 years

Terrified I’m going to drop this Camera.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

OBSERVE! A King becomes AN EMPEROR.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

If You Cannot cope with the Pretend Space Doctor being a Lady, Do not watch the pretend Space Lady Doctor programme. Space Lady advice.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

Here I am addressing a crowd of a Million, maybe a Million and a half.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

I WAS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE AND THE PSYCHO THREW ME STRAIGHT OFF THE FUCKING RIDE.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

Here is my Budget. No more Tricycles Make Piers Morgan illegal Free Crisps for everyone Tax people with those fat Eyebrows Anyone called Steve gets £4 Vegans have to wear a bell Jacob Rees-Mogg must end all his sentences with the words “But Don’t forget I am a total Wanker

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

2 years

Taught a Duck how to Catwalk and now it thinks it Fucking Owns the place.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Dear @realDonaldTrump , A Pigeon has never committed mass murder with a Gun. Yep. Because Pigeons are not allowed Guns. Think about that. Love from Jon. (I am a Fucking Pigeon)

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

Fuck you Morgan. Hahahaaaaaaaahahaahahahahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Yep.

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

3 years

🤬🤬 Bloody pigeons ruin everything. I had the perfect kissing swan pic in my sights... guaranteed to attract record likes.... then this happened.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

It is so Hot I have decided to identify as a Fucking Duck.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

If you Do not want people to say you are a Fucking Racist who is as Thick as Pigshit, Do not prove you are as Thick as Pigshit by Saying Racist things. Presidential advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

FUCK YEAH! (H/T @slendersherbert )

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

I am available to send messages.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Bought myself a Treadmill. Yep. It is Fucking Massive.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

GREGGS IS CLOSING! FUCKING GREGGS IS CLOSING! FUCKING GREGGS IS FUCKING CLOSING! EVERYBODY PANIC

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

This Tube is So Packed I've had to sit on the Floor. Fucking disgraceful.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Here is the Weather Update. I am Fucking Melting.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

If you do not Want people to Easily buy Fucking Massive Guns, Do Not make Fucking massive Guns easy to buy. Fucking Guns advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Might have overdone it at the reopening of the Pubs. Yep.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

I am the New Prime Minister. Yep.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

Turns out The Backstreet Boys are Not actually Boys. Yep. They are more sort of middle aged blokes. Frankly Livid about this.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Dear @realDonaldTrump , You are Old, Fat, Short, War mongering, Racist, Cockwombling, Orange Fucktard My Name is Jon, and I am a Fucking Pigeon. Love From Jon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

Turns out the SuperBowl is Not Actually a Superb Owl. Frankly Livid about this.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

If you Do Not want to be found Behaving Inappropriately towards Women, Do Not behave Inappropriately towards Women. Behaviour advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Aborted an Attempt to Shit on Theresa May because she appears to have already Shat all over herself.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

Leaving 2019 vs Leaving 2021

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

10 years

Shampooed a Fox. More Foxes Came. Shampooed Those. Yep. There are Shampooed Foxes Fucking Everywhere. I am in a Tree. http://t.co/ygjW4jwyGS

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

If you Do Not want to start a Nuclear War like a Fucking Megalomaniac, Do Not offer other Megalomaniacs a Fucking Nuclear War. War Advice.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

I’m not Fat. I was Ambushed by Cake.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

Here is the Weather update. It is Suddenly Fucking Winter.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Dear @realDonaldTrump Twitter thinks I am responsible enough to do tweets and you are not. Yep. And I am a Fucking Pigeon. From Jon (Pigeon)

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

If you Do Not want people to say you are a Flabby Orange Ignorant Bellend for walking in front of The Queen, Do Not walk in front of The Queen like a Flabby Orange Ignorant Bellend. Bellend advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

Had my Eyebrows done. I feel completely different. Yep. £77,000 well spent.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

I think Boris Johnson is a bit incompetent. Sorry, I miss-Spoke there. I think Boris Johnson and the entire Government are completely and utterly fucking useless.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

YOU ARE NOT SOCIALLY DISTANCING IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLACES SOCIALLY WHERE THERE IS NO DISTANCES BETWEEN YOU AND ANYONE ELSE. Social Distancing Advice there. (And I am a Fucking Pigeon)

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

I am sad to report that due to the fact it is still Fucking Boiling, Our mate Sheryl has melted a bit.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

200 Pills in my Backpack? No idea what you're talking about. Got any Water? I love you.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Fucking Sunburnt.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Are you Sure Ariana Grande is the Pop star and Donald Trump is the Fucking President?

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

Dear @Jacob_Rees_Mogg ✅Inherited Poshness ✅incredibly long Neck ✅Teeny Tiny head ✅Honking noises when you speak ✅Some Europeans would like to eat you I put it to you that you are actually a Fucking Swan.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

COVID....IS....A......HOAX..... BREXIT....WAS....A....GREAT....IDEA... SOMETHING.... ABOUT ....BILL... GATES.... DONALD...TRUMP....IS....A.... COMPLETELY.....NORMAL....MAN

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Glastonbury Day 3 update. It appears I have turned into a Fucking Chicken.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Here is my Review of the Decade: 2010 - Swine Flu 2011 - Fucking Royal Wedding 2012 - The first Ever Olympics 2013 - Fucking Royal Baby 2014 - Ebola 2015 - Dress Arguments 2016 - All the Celebrities Died 2017 - Donald Fucking Trump 2018 - When is Brexit? 2019 - Nobody knows

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Shat on Nigel Farage. Yep. Pretty pleased with that one.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

I have been to Pride. Yep. Disguised as a Flamingo in case you didn't recognise me. P.S. It's me, Jon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

I have No Confidence in my own understanding of whatever the Fuck is going on.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Day 1 of Glastonbury. Already a bit Fucked.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

DAY 2 OF ISOLATION. I have eaten all the stockpiled food. Yep. Now what.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

Colossal Susan has Fucking Ruined Christmas.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

Dear @realDonaldTrump , My Son looks EXACTLY like you. Yep. I demand you take a Paternity Test. From Jon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Might have overdone it on the food today.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

If you Do Not want the World to say you are a Fucking Fascist Twat because you put children in Cages, Do Not put Children in Cages like a Fucking Fascist Twat. Fascist Advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

I am at Pride. Dressed as a Flamingo. Yep. Just in case you didn't recognise me. P.S. It's me, Jon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

Here are my New Year’s Resolutions. TELL BREXIT TO FUCK OFF. TELL TRUMP TO FUCK OFF. TELL JACOB REES MOGG TO FUCK OFF. TELL JEREMY CORBYN TO FUCK OFF. TELL THERESA MAY TO FUCK OFF. TELL BORIS JOHNSON TO FUCK OFF. EAT MORE BISCUITS. REPEAT.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

If You Do not want to see lots of People at the Beach while you are at the Beach, Do not go to the Beach and there will be fewer people at the Beach. Beach advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

3 years

Here is my Review of 2021. Coronavirus Trump tried a Coup Boris had a Party Coronavirus Coronavirus A BOAT GOT STUCK IN A CANAL Coronavirus Boris had a Party Vaccines Coronavirus OH MY GOD NO PETROL Boris had a Party OMICRON Boris had a Baby Boris cancelled a Party Christmas.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Forget Mayweather vs Mcgregor. Yep. I've agreed to fight Mike Fucking Tyson.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

I'm the only one taking this Omnium seriously.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

It is So Hot that my mate Ronnie Crow has Fucking Melted.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Here is My Review of 2017. Stupid Trump Tweet Oscars went Tits Up Article 50 Stupid Trump Tweet Stupid Trump Tweet Male Celebrity a Pervert Stupid Trump Tweet Male Celebrity a Pervert Male Celebrity a Pervert 280 characters Male Celebrity a Pervert Stupid Trump Tweet Christmas.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

If you Do Not want People to call you a Racist twat because you said they live in a Shithole, Do not say that people Live in a Shithole like a Racist Twat. Shithole Advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

8 years

Shat on Donald Trump. It was the best Shit. It really was. I do the best shits. Everybody says so.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Waiting for Cummings. Yep. Waiting to Shit on him.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

10 years

Shat in Ashley Young's Mouth. Yep. Once in a Fucking Lifetime Shot.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Tried to Shit on Katie Hopkins but my Shit refused to go anywhere Fucking near her.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Turns out the Superbowl is not actually a Superb Owl. Frankly Livid about this.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Here are my New Years Resolutions 1. Shit on Boris 2. Shit on Katie Hopkins 3. Shit on Donald Trump 4. Eat More Biscuits 5. Learn to speak Chicken 6. Shit on Boris

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

7 years

Found a Coalition partner. Going to ignore the fact he's standing on my head. Yep. And that he ate my Mum. We're friends now.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Shat on Katie Hopkins and then her Account got Suspended. Yep. You’re Welcome.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

6 years

It is So Hot that my mate Ronnie Crow has Fucking Melted.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

If you Do Not like being told to you are not allowed to go Outside, Stop going Outside and you will be allowed to go Outside a bit Sooner. Going Outside Advice there.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

4 years

Dominic Cummings is more Full of Shit than I am and I am a Fucking Pigeon.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

BORIS IS THE NEW PM BORIS IS THE FUCKING NEW PM! FUCKING BORIS IS THE FUCKING NEW PM! EVERYBODY PANIC!

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

Totaly ready for my first Dance on Strictly. Fuck yeah.

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

2 years

My 2022 review. Still Covid Boris had a Party Boris Lied Putin is a Dick Boris Got Fined MONKEYPOX! Everyone Resigned Hot LADY FOOTBALL! Liz Truss killed the Queen Everything got Expensive Fucking Massive Queue Prime Minister 3 World Cup Everything got more Expensive Christmas

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Jon Pigeon

@PigeonJon

5 years

#FaceApp