Simon Hedges @Orwell_Fan Twitter profile

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

"Simon Hedges might have written the greatest thing since Moby Dick." Philip Pullman

Philip Pullman

@PhilipPullman

2 years

@Orwell_Fan I wouldn't dream of it. You might have written the greatest thing since Moby Dick. I will never know, because I shan't read it, but many others might. Best of luck!

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

1 year

Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

8 years

The absolute nerve of these trolls telling me to "join the tories" just because I happen to agree with all their policies, past and present.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

@nypost Is there some way we could perhaps lure them in and trap them inside?

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

They call me melt They call me right wing They call me Tory They call me lame That's not my name That's not my name They call me Karen That's worse than gammon, laugh at my hairstyle Just stop these slurs That's not my name That's not my name That's not my name

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

If Corbyn hadn't spent so long bigging up the NHS then perhaps US health corporations wouldn't have found it so attractive in the first place.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

Wow, this is a shocking revelation.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

Woah, no way!

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Please support my new campaign. #BeKindOnline

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

1 year

The people of Islington North will sleep soundly tonight. Their next Labour MP will do a good 4-5 years before leaving to do something actually important, like PR for the gambling industry, not wasting years in Parliament representing their loser constituents.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

We should give the government much more credit. Have 1000 people died today? Or, have 65 million people stayed alive?

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

When I get my jab, I will be fully nude, and proudly so. I will not be publicly shamed by the sneering postmodern mob.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

@Telegraph They're pampered poodles, no graft, no work ethic. By the time I was my kids age I had already paid off my tuition fees, (the money my dad gave to Oxford to allow me in) and could afford to live in my mum's 6 bedroom house, that I had skilfully negotiated to £0pcm.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 months

Sir Keir Starmer's car has a right to defend herself against Glaswegians.

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@jrc1921

5 months

Starmer's car ramming protestors in Glasgow

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Yes, the Tories may have lost over 1000 councillors, but it has been much worse for Labour. They have lost the entire light entertainment industry.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

Just imagine if Sir Tony Blair was Prime Minister right now. Putin and Britain would still be close allies and we would be invading Ukraine together, as friends.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

I am urging @bbradleymp not to tweet an apology. He must stand by his convictions and go to jail for his beliefs. Mr Bradley, you can become this generation's Nelson Mandela, only much more popular with Tories.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Get ready for yet another day of the tribal online left trashing the reputation of a new leader just because of stuff they've said and done, or how they've "voted" in the past. Please, let's give Boris Johnson a chance.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

@BritainElects @OpiniumResearch This is a good strategy from @UKLabour and @Keir_Starmer . Leading in the polls would be disrespectful to the government at a very difficult time.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

Simon the Seagull is back, with another important message.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

After spending over £5000 sending luxury cheese hampers to 10 Downing Street, there will be no presents for my children this year. But by making a complete fool of the Prime Minister, their father has given them the greatest gift of all. The gift of satire.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

@johnharris1969 You are the original and the best John, don't worry about the competition.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

@MPIainDS @Conservatives What's we're seeing here Iain is the complete breakdown of kindness towards people in government. Next we'll be seeing graffiti that says "Iain Duncan Smith should be in jail for his policies that forced people into extreme poverty, illness and death". Absolutely awful.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

🚨🚨 Jail time latest 🚨🚨 ✅ Pile-on - 2 years ✅ Dunk quote tweeting a celebrity - 5 years ✅ Correcting a verified Twitter user/journalist - 10 years ✅ Snark towards a cabinet minister - 15-20 years ✅ Insulting meme receiver doesn't understand - Life sentence

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

@Andrew_Adonis Thank you Andrew. I look forward to waking up on Christmas morning and reading The Tweet that Stopped Brexit.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

@David_Cameron You really don't get enough credit for starting the great food bank movement, well done David! 👏👏👏👏👏

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

7 years

My own analysis of Hillary's harrowing defeat has come to the following conclusions; Liberals are great and we should carry on as normal.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

By not resorting to violence and debating with that statue of a slave trader, that mob might have changed his mind.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

What?!

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

Mick Lynch exposed: ▪ Real name Michael ▪ General Secretary of RMT ▪ Newspapers in wrong recycling receptacle ▪ Prefers supermarket own brand pasta sauce ▪ Security lights in working order ▪ Threatens journalists doing late night research

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

No one can doubt the New Labour government changed lives. This man became a Tory for 25 years.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 months

@StreathamRovers The sheer weight of its respect could not be contained.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

@ChukaUmunna @LibDems @vincecable @thetimes No no no no no. Please come back Chuka. We've changed. Literally. We're called something else now. Don't ask what because I've already forgotten. Just please come back. Don't leave me here with Mike Gapes. Please.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

What a journey. Boris has gone from intensive care, to intensively caring.💕

Robert Peston

@Peston

4 years

Having babies change us. Near-death experiences change us. @BorisJohnson has the full set. So will he become a very different PM from the one the UK voted for in December?

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

I've been nominated for Campaigner of the Year in the Civility in Politics Awards! Thank you to everyone who recommended me!

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

8 years

The absolute nerve of these trolls telling me to "join the tories" just because I happen to agree with all their policies, past and present.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

This was Rishi Sunak just two years ago, handing out wads of free cash to pathetically grateful citizens. A hero. But now he is public enemy number 1, just for having an opinion. Why does this country hate success?

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Corbyn outriders already boasting about trying to win seats off other parties. Just a bunch of bullies.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

The next Labour government will be; Tough on crime ✅ Tough on the causes of crime (e.g. a bad attitude, general rudeness, lack of aspiration, anonymous social media accounts) ✅ Tough on crime you haven't committed ✅

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

You poor naive fools. Yes, Sir Keir may be leaning rightwards now, but it is simply a tactic to win votes. Patience. Once he becomes Prime Minister, then and only then, he will reveal himself to be, even more right wing. Can't be too careful.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

7 years

this is just like an episode of In The Thick of It.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

7 years

I may be a leftie, but I'm not intolerant. In fact, almost all of my friends, lovers, political heroes and candidates I vote for are Tories.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

I have had my disagreements with the President, and have rattled him more than once by calling him "Donny Drumpf." But we must do the decent thing and wish him well. Like *all* politicians, from the centre left rightwards, he is a human being.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

Hello. This is Simon Hedges' girlfriend here. I am an attractive 25 year old actress. Tragically, Simon has been assassinated. Early indications are that Momentum thugs are responsible. May I rest in peace.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

WHAT IS GOING ON!!?!?

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

I love Harry Potter as much as anyone, but seriously, some of you need to read more than one book. Here is an extensive reading list.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

What

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Vice have dragged the good name of @UnleashedComedy through the mud. I was there that night and made a recording. Here is a transcript so you can decide for yourselves.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

Get Jonathan Pie over to Brazil immediately.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

I don't care how many £millions this will cost, it needs to be done. Nothing will make Trump cringe more than seeing George W Bush projected on to the surface of the Moon.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

Voting and campaigning for the Conservative Party.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

8 years

Right, time to take a break from the smug, self-congratulatory twitter echo-chamber and listen to some Radio 4.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Watch out for the following slurs. They have no place in civil debate. "Yellow Tories" "Piss diamonds" "You enabled social murder in exchange for a 5p plastic bag tax" "I will not be voting for the Conservative Party" Please #BeKindOnline

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 months

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

4 months

I didn't know about Horizon prosecutions, says Keir Starmer

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

@pottermore True genius. It's this kind of incredible thinking that separates the billionaires from the rest of us.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

Am I going to have to update this now?

The Guardian

@guardian

2 years

Over 330,000 excess deaths in Great Britain linked to austerity, finds study

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

Well there you have it.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

My sources tell me that @Keir_Starmer is considering backing the death penalty for people who call him "Kieth/Keith" and "wet wipe" online, and say he should be 20 points ahead. He is a pro-life human rights lawyer and takes no pleasure in making sure this happens.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

We really need to stop using words like "sleaze" and "cronyism" and start calling it what it really is - a big misunderstanding.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

Labour's new Stonger Together roadmap will bring Britain together for: 1⃣Better 72 hour working weeks 2⃣A future for always 3⃣No more litter louts! 4⃣PFI services that work 5⃣More bins? 6⃣Bring back that Keep Britain Tidy logo you never it see anymore

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

@Keir_Starmer If you need a place to stay mate, just let me know.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

11 months

This is an outrage. Roger Waters is now including the Deliveroo driver who got run over by Sir Keir Starmer in his list of victims of state violence.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

I have ranked the possibility of various National Unity governments from extremely likely to happen, to even more extremely likely to happen.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

My A Level results: C in History. Unclassified in English. No grade in Economics and a Technical fail in General Studies. But it didn't stop me from getting in to Oxford! Well, it didn't stop my dad from speaking to the Vice Chancellor.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

My mum is laughably insisting that the government "need to do a bit more". This is not the time for petty opportunistic political point scoring, mother. Shameful behaviour.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

Fair play to Boris for offering Keir Starmer "Minister for Coronavirus Strategy and Hospital equipment rationing", one of the great offices of state.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

@Anna_Soubry @metpoliceuk Exactly. I'm glad politicians like you have until now voted against measures to tackle climate change, waiting for that crucial piece of sharable popular TV content before deciding that it is actually bad.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

No problem

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

11 months

Every Labour candidate knows the rules. It is forbidden to talk to Ken Loach at film festival, and if you do, you must first condemn him for his crimes, some of which may even be true, who knows. But they get worse every time I imagine what they could be. Awful man.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

8 months

🚨Breaking🚨 A right-wing Proud Boys activist has been jailed for 22 years after trying to prevent an elected leader from taking power.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

Another panel show luminary speaks the truth. It was Corbyn's responsibility to persuade the Conservative Party that more people freezing and starving to death was a bad thing and yet they remained utterly unconvinced.

Stan's Account

@tristandross

4 years

watching the hignfy funniest moments of the year for reasons of sadomasochism, and have to say this bit where a squeaky lad says corbyn is to blame for the tory party inflicting policies which will harm the most vulnerable, while a tory peer nods and laughs... a real rib tickler!

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

I am no fan of Novara and their awful politics, but as a fellow journalist it's important for me to say that I'm glad this happened and I hope it happens again.

Novara Media

@novaramedia

3 years

Novara Media statement following the reinstatement of our YouTube channel.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

@tom_watson Tom Watson, giving his support to the Tories! Out in the open! I mean, normally you'd just text it to a journalist as a "Senior Labour source."

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

I have been doing my own tactical vote calculations and it has now been confirmed that the only way of stopping a Conservative government is voting for...the Conservative Party. I am pro-Centre Left and take no pleasure in reporting this.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

🚨🚨🚨Breaking - My source inside the palace has messaged me - and no one else - with the latest. #Scoop

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

Ahead of everyone, yet again.

Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

Voting records are a slur, how many times do I have to say it? #bbcqt

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

Despicable

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

The #StarmyArmy is not a cult. All we want is life for the majority of people to only get gradually worse.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

Love the Union Flag ✅ Have great hair ✅ Get rid of more supporters of their group with each public statement ✅

Jeremy Vine

@theJeremyVine

3 years

I see it now

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

I interviewed Sir Keir Starmer for Total Denim Magazine's November round-up email.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

I have been asked to make the following public apology. Riffers is not a lager boy, nor is he afraid he might taste something. In fact, he has a very sophisticated palate and can taste a wide range of beer flavours. Thank you.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

@NICKIMINAJ You're the one who has misunderstood. Laura is a well respected news journalist and part of her job is to remind people what year it is.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

Feel like pure shit just want the coalition back

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

I love cracking open a cold can as much as anyone, but I'm responsible enough to do it in the safety of my own home, well away from any type of public transport, illegal drinking zone, or friends.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 months

@MetroUK Could have been worse

BAZAKE

@BazakeMedia

2 years

🚨 | BREAKING: Sick pranksters have added further insult to injury last night by placing a giant novelty dildo on top of the already vandalised statue of Baroness Thatcher.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 months

There's absolutely no need for the BBC to post an image of a MP with what is clearly a fake, comically enlarged, forehead. Hard-left tactics.

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

4 months

Bury North MP James Daly defends remark over parenting in town

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

No one wants to be on the wrong end of Matt Forde's absolutely brutal agreement with the establishment.

dj bob hoskins going mental in a dustbin

@ZizeksDad

4 years

@Orwell_Fan Finally we have political comedy that actually makes politicians laugh. Satire has been a pretty nasty affair up until this point.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 months

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

21 days

Jimmy Carr

@jimmycarr

23 days

In advance of the release of my new @NetflixIsAJoke Special: ‘Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer’. I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise to (insert aggrieved party name here). Your feelings were hurt / sense of propriety was outraged / you were offended (delete as…

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

What

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

Hi Simon. It seems a long time now since you were teaching me to be a journalist, great days! If you could just copy and paste this message that would be great: "Really enjoying reading Lost Connections by Johann Hari, highly recommended!" Cheers mate.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

6 years

They call me melt They call me toady They call me slug They call me lame That's not my name That's not my name They call me gammon I'm not a pink man, laugh at my hairstyle Just stop these slurs That's not my name That's not my name That's not my name That's not my name

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Cheeky! I actually don't mind jokes like this. Perhaps it's because I have such a lovely thick head of hair, so I'm not even offended by it. Fair play and respect sir!

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

2 years

"Who will you back to become Prime Minister in the violent uprising if it turns out that Boris done another zoom quiz?" 🔴 Sir Keir Starmer 7% 🔵 Rory Stewart's military junta 3% ⚪ Cyborg Captain Tom 40% 👑 Her Glorious Majesty 48% 🔵 Change UK 2% Via YouGov, 11-12 Dec.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

A real touch of class from @Keir_Starmer deciding not stand a Labour candidate in Chesham and Amersham. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

5 years

Alastair Campbell, welcome to the growing army of the politically homeless. Frightened, cold, hungry for leadership. Sitting down here in the campfire light, with the ghost of old 2012 Olympics. At least until we can all meet up at the BAFTAs.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 years

Who should get the vaccine first? 1. The Queen 2. Armed Forces, police 3. MI5/6 and associated MPs 4. Sensible celebrities/journalists 5. Bankers, media owners, JK Rowling 6. Non-political footballers, Rugby Union players 7. Rugby Union fans 8. Non-political care home staff

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

4 years

@ljkbennett As much as I hate Drumpf, this is bullying. He was sending you a nice message after all and there's no need to be so rude in return. A polite "no thank you" would have been fine.

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Simon Hedges

@Orwell_Fan

3 months

2024 update. #BeKindOnline

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