Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq. Profile Banner
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq. Profile
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.

@OrdnancePackard

6,472
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2,464
Following
6,331
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Statuses

Twitter's leading Amish attorney. Meme Sommelier Order of the Polecat Moonbeam. "Plus Ordy is just a Genx political comic genius" 11th plague of Egypt.

With your mom
Joined March 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins, As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn, The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
Be a lot cooler if she did.
@LifeNewsHQ
LifeNews.com
3 months
Chelsea Clinton Complains Her Grandmother Did Not Have Access to Planned Parenthood
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
@CHBAF When do you think you're going to grow into your adult voice?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
@peterjholley @UTAustin Just rub a banana on it, you'll be fine.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
11 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
8 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
Whatever happened to tonsilitis? It was like the trope of every sitcom with children that they get their tonsils removed and get ice cream. I never hear about it anymore.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
Tell me you're too young to know who Reginald Denny was without saying it.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
I don't know who needs to hear this, but using your turn signal is not "giving information to the enemy"
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
*long pull off of a cigarette It all started when they shot this fucking gorilla.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
LEVEL 5 STICK SIGHTING!! I repeat LEVEL 5 STICK SIGHTING!! Guys, just stop and stare a moment.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
A perfect album from the 70's that isnt Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd
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@D_Gordzo
Dave Gordon 🇺🇸 🇮🇱
7 months
A perfect album from the 70's that inst Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
Binocular vision, stereo hearing, we're predators by nature, retard.
@mikemasm
mikemasm Ⓥ
5 months
Please stop eating animals 🙏 Go Vegan 🌱
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
When are the choochoo retards going to realize nobody is giving up their cars?
@Nate_McMurray
Nate McMurray
2 months
Wow. Passenger trains in the US vs. Europe.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
When you're profitable and not a sponge on the taxpayer's coffers, then you can talk shit.
@Amtrak
Amtrak
2 months
Best part of taking the train is saving the planet. Second best part is judging people who drive. 🤭
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
10 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
And for the majority of us, we stopped carrying them years ago because we're not virtue signaling clownshows.
@JeromeAdamsMD
Jerome Adams
3 months
Fascinating how wearing masks (or not) can be contagious. When boarding my plane, I had on my mask. Several people upon noticing me, also retrieved theirs and put them on. Seems seeing others wearing masks provides a social cue or reassurance to do the same. 😷👍🏽
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
What the fuck is even happening?
@IanJaeger29
Ian Jaeger
7 months
Senator John Fetterman calls for the United States to ban the CCP from buying American Farmland, and also suggests we should take the land back also. Do you agree with Senator Fetterman?
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
@schoenbe7 @timjacobwise Calm down sweetheart. At least you're still pretty, for now.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
Feelin' froggy? Stack up.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
9 months
@paulsaladinomd I use seed oils for lube when I visit your mom behind the Circle K.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
Llamathrust is what imma start calling my bedroom moves.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
What fictional car would you drive around as your daily vehicle?
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@shoveitjack
Grateful Calvin
1 year
What fictional car would you drive around as your daily vehicle?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
8 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
9 months
My favorite things about this are: 1. Not "Nevada Rangers", they are Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribe rangers. Tribal cops. The same people these eco terrorists drop racist "Noble Savage" memes about. 2. They're holding up a mile of vehicles full of people who vote the same way they do
@FreedomNTV
FreedomNews.Tv FNTV
9 months
#BREAKING "I'm gonna take all of you out!" - Nevada Rangers ram through climate protest blockade, point a gun at an activists as they smash them onto the ground for arrest after group @7seven_circles shut down BURNING MAN Video by @ScooterCasterNY Desk @freedomnews .tv to license
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
10 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
10 months
Say what you will, at least Jimmy Carter lived long enough to watch someone else become the worst fucking president ever. #PresidentSilverAlert
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
That's so weird, because y'all have spent the better part of the last decade getting people profiled, doxxed, blacklisted, and professionally punished for what you consider ideological wrongthink. Have you considered fucking off? Ask your doctor if fucking off is right for you.
@still_oppressed
keyvan
7 months
I cannot emphasize this enough but there has not been a systematic assault on freedom of expression like this since McCarthyism. This is not hyperbole. We have reentered an era where people are being profiled, blacklisted, and professionally punished for the mildest activism.
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
9 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
Without downloading any new pics, what’s your energy going into 2023?
@DomesticCEOCat
Cat in the Hat
1 year
Without downloading any new pics,what’s your energy going into 2023?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
Lost my dad 12 years ago. Still miss him.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
What in the lightly salted, dry roasted fuck is an "assault pistol"?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
RESTRICT Act was failing to gain public approval, and the regime just couldn't quit TikTok and its influencers, so now we're supposed to believe that some Air Force gamerbro got his paws on juicy intel and spread it on Discord, now the Fed needs to invade your privacy online
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
No, this is.
@redsteeze
Stephen L. Miller
6 months
Close but it's this.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
Yes, they're still alive. That's western values. Dipshit.
@battleforeurope
Thomas Fazi
6 months
Western values.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
Men only want one thing and it's disgusting
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@ShamashAran
Sensurround
5 months
Men only want one thing and it's disgusting
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
Can we just take the warning labels off things and let the problems work themselves out?
@nypost
New York Post
5 months
People are eating laundry pods again and landing in the hospital — here’s why you should never
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
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@EngineerAyyash
The Engineer 🇵🇸🇮🇷🇱🇧🇮🇶🇸🇾🇾🇪🔻
2 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
Congratulations, you have the same educational pedigree as David Hogg. @AJDelgado13
@AJDelgado13
A.J. Delgado
5 months
@jakeflanagin @kalihollowayftw Nah, it’s a bunch of cornballs who are in an online program simply bc they want to say they have a “Harvard” (or Columbia) degree. That’s fine to laugh at.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
Trains run on diesel fuel, you retard.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
Some people "wear a hat". Some people are "hat collectors", with a wide variety of hats from different places and events. But then there are "hat people". Hat people are the elite, we only own a couple hats at a time. Our daily driver and our "nice hat" that we wear out on
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
Climate crisis isn't real, you fucking clown. Canyon is doing what it is supposed to do. How do you think the canyon got there in the first place? Road placement was a bad decision.
@thelukemullen
Luke Mullen
1 year
Santa Barbara is flooding again… don’t tell me the climate crisis isn’t here
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
Again, the people who really want to push for a civil war will be trading free use of their body for a drink of water out of a toilet tank in 3 days.
@NaaronAggler
Narron Aggler
4 months
God please let this happen again. I pray. One of those states is West Virginia for Christ sake. I think it’s time for the south to be taught another lesson. They’re overdue.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
I guarantee over half the people working on this project said 'Yeah, this won't survive the first *real* hailstorm we get"
@Will_Tanner_1
Will Tanner
2 months
In yet another massive L for 'green' energy boondoggles, a massive swathe of solar panels in Damon, Texas were taken out by a hail storm And not only were the expensive panels rendered useless by the weather, but now they're leaking a toxic compound, cadmium telluride, into the
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
8 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
Watching Twitter, you'd think Palestinian is the new Native American. Everyone appears to be 1/8th Palestinian or some bullshit.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
@perlmutations You don't even have enough money to buy your own checkmark. Elon had to donate it to you out of charity, otherwise nobody would know who you are anymore.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
Trans children are like vegetarian cats. We all know who is really making that decision.
@danieltobin
Dan 🇺🇸
3 months
What are the odds of having 2 trans kids…..
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
8 months
No. Fuck off. Was there anything else?
@SethPlaut
Seth Plaut
8 months
@Breaking911 I am NOT a gun owner, but I am requesting for others to lay down their arms. My heart breaks watching innocent people get slaughtered like this. So today I ask gun owners to lay down their weapons and give the government permission to take them away. We must end the violence!
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
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@IDoTheThinking
Darrell Owens
7 months
You shouldn't be driving over 80 MPH, let alone 100 MPH. All vehicles should be speed limited to 80.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
11 months
@JustStop_Oil It's hilarious how many petroleum byproducts they're wearing. Self-awareness isn't your 'thing', is it?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
10 months
Welp, out of Twitmo and about to make it everyone else's problem.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
9 months
I'd have demanded a refund.
@bmay
Brendan May
9 months
Conductor Vladimir Jurowski tells his audience to let two climate protestors speak, as they must be heard. He says he will only play after they have spoken, and otherwise he will leave the stage. Powerful stuff. 👏
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 month
Russia has shown that they are at best, a regional power , but actually just a paper tiger that is incapable of keeping their blue water flagship from catching on fire every 3 days. In what measurable way are they remotely a threat to us?
@KimsMom3
Rhonda Hart-For Congress Texas CD 14
1 month
You realize that if Ukraine falls, America will be next, right?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
"I can't breath" She screeches full throated
@stillgray
Ian Miles Cheong
1 year
Antifa messed around with cops in Atlanta. Antifa found out.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
You mean he was murdered. You fucking clowns @ABC7 You may think you hate the media enough, but I assure you that you don't.
@ABC7
ABC7 Eyewitness News
7 months
#BREAKING Elderly Jewish man dies after confrontation with pro-Palestinian protesters in Westlake Village
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
Awesome ones.
@StormResilient
MULAN
7 months
What grown person still eats Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
Have you tried calming down, kitten? Ask your doctor if calming down is right for you.
@Sheeps62
Nebraska Mom 🟧
6 months
Really @SCHEELS ? This is the type of “toy”you sell in your stores. No colorful markings to show that they are toys which will be a problem when kids start getting them for Christmas, learn to quickly assemble their guns & bring them to school. This won’t turn out well @MomsDemand
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
2 months
@ian_mckelvey T'was the fuckaroundest of times, T'was the findoutest of times.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
I mean...
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@sisterinferior
Kaya
3 months
As someone with extensive IT experience, I can almost guarantee the AT&T outage yesterday was over some certificate expiring somewhere and nobody knowing how to regenerate it because Carl got laid off seven years ago and the only machine with the keys decommissioned in 2019.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
9 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
That was the currency of the British Mandate, you fucking retard. @freemonotheist
@freemonotheist
Paul Williams
7 months
Never forget
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
7 months
Touchdown! The crowd goes wild!
@aselmousa
Aseel Mousa
8 months
If you want to grasp the gravity of an 'Israeli airstrike'... #Gaza_Genocide
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
We, as a society, have regressed. This was our golden age.
@Super70sSports
Super 70s Sports
1 year
Remember when Pizza Hut pan pizzas were basically a goddamn culinary delicacy? They’d bring them out in a real fucking skillet that was piping at about 700 degrees Fahrenheit right as your third song kicked in on the jukebox after you’d played a game of Galaga. We were kings.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
3 months
Sweetie, LGB won all the rights they wanted in the 90s. Even T was gaining acceptance until you shrieking harridans undid decades of work in half the time.
@Theleftorwright
Michelle Wright
3 months
Oh, kitten. Do tell??? Please tell me how this war was won. Yeah, I was there and I lived it. You? Thought so.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
9 months
We used to practice hiding under our desks in case there was a thermonuclear exchange. Have you considered calming the fuck down, you screeching quim? @harryjsisson
@harryjsisson
Harry Sisson
9 months
Gen Z is traumatized by gun violence. We have to make escape plans when we go to school, the mall, church, anywhere. It’s insane and action needs to be taken.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
8 months
So, I have a question: How do Texas's laws effect the east coast states?
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
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Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
5 months
To get squished.
@Gunblaze1969
The Rubber Chicken🇨🇦
5 months
What is he fixing?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
1 year
Who is the greatest fictional restaurant employee of all time?
@SinCityFC
The Spanish In-Phil-sition
1 year
Who is the greatest fictional restaurant employee of all time?
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
6 months
Ladies: Nobody finds a face that looks like a prolapsed anus attractive. Nobody. Stop it.
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@OrdnancePackard
Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.
4 months
Do... do you think that gang members are going to gun stores?
@DudeManMateo
Mathew Abides
4 months
@PolitiBunny Maybe do something about the gangs having such easy access to guns? Nah, we good. Let’s ease access instead. You go, rabbit!
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