Mr. Baseball @MisterBaseball0 Twitter profile

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

10

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 months

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 months

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 months

@GOOPREALM5000 idont want to live anymore

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

19 days

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

When my old coach died, I cried for days. No man had ever cared for me like he did. And yet, at his funeral, I approached the casket, bat in hand. I swung with all my might, and his body soared into the heavens. A fitting send-off for a true baseball man. God bless America.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 months

#NewProfilePic

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

Baseball is back in a big way....

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

25 days

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 months

Baseball will be Evil this year... just watch

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

10 months

I see the ball flying at me, 500 miles per hour. I drop my bat and wag my finger at the orb. "Not so fast, bucko." The ball screeches to a halt mid-air and retreats back into the pitcher's pathetic hand.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

25 days

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

Don't put anything you care about in front of my baseball bat. I will smash that fucker into the stratosphere. I miss my son

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

22 days

Baseball Is Under Attack

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

19 days

Dear Baseball Haters….. Suck On These!

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

9 months

Fuck baseball sex style

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

When the bones in my legs finally shatter from too much baseball, I will defiantly crawl towards the plate. I will clutch my bat between my teeth and swing like hell. My worthless crushed body will be a laughing stock, but my swings will live on forever.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

10 months

I go thru easily 3x this many in a day

Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory

@SluggerMuseum

10 months

Bats on bats on bats! #SluggerMuseum #BaseballBats #Baseball

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

BOOOOOM!!!!!! That's out of the fuckin park. My bat explodes into 1000000000 little wooden blades traveling at 1700 meters per second. They smash into the crowd and kill fifty people instantly. Just another day, folks.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

Baseball pussy

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Last time somebody Fucked with me I handed them a wheelchair catalog and said You're gonna need this bitch

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

24 days

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

The day I miss a swing is the day I pull the 9mm Glock out of my waistband and blow my fucking brains out

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

When it’s baseball season, I cannot feel love for anything except baseball. I make my wife sleep outside. When my son got between my bat and the ball I felt nothing at his funeral. There are no tears for anything but baseball.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

They kept me locked up for 2 years to study my baseball science but I escaped

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Monday - baseball Tuesday - baseball Wednesday - baseball Thursday - baseball Friday - baseball Saturday - baseball Sunday - Church

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

I was at a bar last night and somebody ordered a pitcher. Once I heard that word I don't know what came over me but next thing I know thirty people were knocked out on the ground around me

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

10 months

My bat is my life, and my life is my bat. The two cannot be separated. You'll see me shopping for groceries with my bat, disciplining my ungrateful son with my bat, even tenderly loving my wife with my bat.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

22 days

The pitch clock should be zero. I do not need a pitcher to throw a ball. I simply swing and the universe will summon a ball where my bat is at.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

When I see that thing flying at me my entire ego disappears. I am the bat, the ball is my deepest enemy. My sole purpose is to smack that fucker so hard that nobody can even remember what a baseball is anymore

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

There's a reason this game was invented in America. It's the only game where you can beat the ever living shit out of a small, freshly washed white leather ball with a giant wooden stick. Pitchers may as well be Satan's angels to me. They try to rob us of this beauty.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

No pain like the sting of home plate against ur ass as u slide in there like an oily little stinker. The catcher wants u dead. The ump wants u 2 pay child support. The pitcher? I've already killed him

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

There are days I can't find the strength to step up to the plate. The weight of the world on my shulders, it's like I'm batting with a heart full of lead. No matter how many balls I smash, the emptiness in my soul still echoes like the sound of a dropped bat.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

I listen to Hey There Delilah to get pumped. I walk to a field just for a night game, knowing there will be no one in the stands. Then I bash that motherfucker as far as I can send it. Tears streaming down my face while I round the bases.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

Should've known better than to leave your car outside of my park

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

22 days

Enemy team dugout when I smack a home run

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Fuck

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

Sometimes I think the only thing keeping me alive is the desire to hit smackeroonis

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

Wtf is football

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 months

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

Baseball sex

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

A called strike hurts more than any physical pain. I have not slept a single night since a strike was called against me April 6 2014. Every night I play it over & over in my head. It haunts me. I drink to forget but I can't

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

Everytime I smash a home run, my skin melts off my face momentarily just to reveal my true form, a being of pure baseball energy, immortal, relentless. My passion for the game cannot be contained by the skin of a mortal man.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

When the ball is thrown and it comes hurdling towards me, I make eye contact with it. I whisper into its soul, "I am about to fucking destroy you".

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

If a pitcher tries to throw a curveball past me, I'm not afraid to swing and miss. But if he tries that shit again, my bat will be infused with hatred, and not even God can stop me from hitting that ball into the sun.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

I'm all for knocking one out of the park to win the big game but it makes me a little sad seeing the crowd's flesh being incinerated

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

To clArify, the baseballs that are my sons are the ones that I hit. I produce them with my bat which is my wife. A called strike is not my son. The called strike is never born. A swinging strike is my son, but I will refuse to acknowledge it. I am married to my baseball bat

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

The opposing team is the enemy. Pitchers are the biggest enemies of them all. But when I hit that thing and send it flying into the stands, for a fleeting moment, I love them. Because they give me the chance to hit more home runs.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

If you're not willing to defy the laws of physics to win you don't belong in this game

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

It's like I'm at War with the baseballs. I want to humiliate them. And they want me in the dirt, face first.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Nobody really understands me. They just want to use me for my beautiful swings

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Re- Tweet if you love the slugger, like if you love hitting a smackerooni, ignore if you support the cowardly pitcher and his curved ball

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

All I ever wanted was to Make the baseball bleed

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

See that thing flying toward me and I'm like Yeah, I'm gonna fuck it up

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

I want to see my foot on home plate. They want to see my in my motherfucking grave

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

I'm always stepping up to the plate and fucking that shit up

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

11 days

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

I need help

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

When I hit that thing I go nuts

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

1 year

Listen you idiot . You do NOT want to be the man on the mound remember these are the biggest assholes in america. You GOTTA be the one on the plate ready to smack the little white spheres out of sight.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

How Does It Feel

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Holy fuck I'm playing baseball

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

The pale orb

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Sometimes when I am playing a game of ball I get this white hot fury in me that doesn't subside for days. I smash shit

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

I was recently approached by someone who at first appeared to be a man, but was actually a pitcher in disguise. I quickly saw through his devilish tricks and beat him to death with the help of the entire cheering crowd.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

I fucking love that baseball shit

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

hot baseballs in your area want to be Hit

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

As punishment for whispering secrets, the pathetic, sniveling little umpire is forced to sit and watch the herculaen slugger. He stares at the seam of the slugger's baggy pants being annihilated as his toned ass actuates in a flawless, fluid motion, smashing the ball into the sky

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Baseball orgasm

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

Baseball is back in a big way

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

Called strike three. A bullshit call, of course. I throw my helmet to the ground and turn around to argue with the umpire. He sees the rage in my eyes and calmly lifts up his chest protector to reveal a 9mm Glock pistol tucked into the waistband of his gigantic gray slacks.

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

I killed more people than I could count back in the day, only fair then that they killed my brother. At least now I have something that matters. I'm the pride of the fucking town

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

We used to play with guns now we play ball

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

Spectators of my baseball games have been known to develop symptoms including blindness, madness, and instant death

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

One thing they don’t teach you in Triple A, what the hell are you supposed to do when you’re crossing home plate and the umpire is gently placing bullets into the chamber of his revolver?

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

2 years

For all The new followes:

Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

To clArify, the baseballs that are my sons are the ones that I hit. I produce them with my bat which is my wife. A called strike is not my son. The called strike is never born. A swinging strike is my son, but I will refuse to acknowledge it. I am married to my baseball bat

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

When the gunmen start to shoot and I stumble out of my vehicle, baseballs and other assorted gear falling out of the open car door, I will run into the forest and hide

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0

4 years

Baseball jihad

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Mr. Baseball

@MisterBaseball0