Matt Cooke @MattCooke2000 Twitter profile

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

He’s more crazy than my ex wife

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 months

Oh lord take me back to the good old days when this fucker ruled the land we walk on! #Royalty

Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Fucking man rocket

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Gavyn Thoreson have yourself a night. He is going to get to fiddle with some clits tonight, it’s gonna be a water park so bring your goggles,snorkels and foam noodles. We don’t need anyone to drown on such a great weekend. #Huskienation

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

@FollowThePuck Not a Duluth East guy like @KarlEastHockey but no Cole Christian on this list is criminal…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Alex Bump is Jesus fucking Christ. Hatty in the first period omg I just mayo squirted in my pants

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Gigi Marvin can you please shut the fuck idc if you played women’s hockey. You sound like a squeaky tire on a shopping cart… #firegigi

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 months

Find it weird Kam Hendrickson didn’t say where he is playing juniors next year. You would think he’s got the scouts on their knees.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

To be honest with you guys I would rather stick my balls in a hornets nest then watch the Pine City Area vs Northern Edge game…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

If Alex Bump doesn’t get a post game BJ I will give him my hotel room number

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Just saw the video of Grady Downs and holy fuck that kid should be kicked out of the game of hockey. What an absolute ass hat 🎩 #fuckingselfish #dickhead

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Mahtomedi-The Zephers finished with a 20-8 before punching their ticket to the X. Charlie Brant and Andrew Reister had huge shoes to fill after Ben Dardis graduated. Both have done a nice job doing so. They are a little top heavy with their top 10 point-getters 7 being seniors.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Tough couple days for the hunters

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Lakeville South and Lakeville North should be a great game tonight same with MG and Rapids.Pretty decent slate of games tonight in the state of hockey.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@spittinchiclets Holy fuck looks like me going at it with my mom after she won’t make me fucking meatloaf.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Ok I miss spoke Alexandria beat Beckenridge/Whahpeton 19-0 for fuck sakes. I bet that team is made up of half women and half pre schoolers…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

I’m fucking back baby you can only keep me away for so long

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

I would pound my nuts flat with a wooden mallet to have another week of Highschool hockey…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Wow was Hill-Murray vs Moorhead a good one and my bro Godbout had 2 points. Wish I could have made my way up there and went across the border to Fargo and fucked up the pizza ranch then obliterate the fucking toilet while I cry because I ate more food then Africa would in a week.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

@YouthHockeyHub @cdhhockey Best Js in the state #boldtake

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

What a fucking day it was for high school hockey some upsets some ties and me still living in my parents house being an obese loser that’s a virgin

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

What a tournament one more great one down in the books. Can’t wait till next year when I can legally snort coke. Wait is coke legal? Who cares when it’s the tourney and I right and one more thing FUCK EDINA #Bump #Mrhockey

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@HAHA_Hockey They must be playing the local nursing home

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Looks like Hill-Murray is gonna do some mid season recruiting after the departure of their starting goalie. We all know the back up tendy wouldn’t crack the Pine City squirt lineup

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Goodnight folks hope everyone has a great night besides the Edina Hornets

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@MNHockeyStar Big move! Expecting big things out of him and the team

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

For the love of all things holy I can not listen to Gigi Marvin for one more second I would rather try to shit out a watermelon than listen to her fucking bullshit.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

9 months

@JamesMurrayECH @Alexbump14 how we feeling about the Bulldogs ?!

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 months

Nothing official yet but I’m hearing the Hermantown Hawks are close to acquiring Zam Plante and a conditional late round pick from Fargo for 3 future first round picks and 1 of their 7 coaches not named Pat Andrews. #NHLTradeDeadline

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Joshua Giuliani just took Ty Hanson out on a date and fucked him and his bulldog scholarship 🐶 #soft

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 months

@YouthHockeyHub This is a rockstar quote by Poeschl

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

What a bunch of totlers 🥔

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Charlie Drage with the biggest fuck you to the ref Auston Mattews style wow…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

My god Hopkins got fucked worse than my teddy bear named snuggles tonight… 14-0 🐻

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Max literally took Gundersons water bottle and shoved it up his fucking ass (without lube) that dirty dog…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Love hearing the Hill student section say start the busses 10 seconds in and then Tanner Ludtke shutting them the fuck up

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Warroad redemption?

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

@MNHockeyStar Dave are you on fucking crystal meth? Warroad is going to give them the biggest wedgie and then yank their skiviez all the way down to their talons #notachance

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Hermantowns PP is more gross than my shit after McDonald’s. It’s 40% my god #IlovemnhockeyTV

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Am I right or am I right ?

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

For the love of god WBL must have been playing Rosevilles Ice Mites tonight. 13-0 are you fucking serious #pointnite

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Wow was I off about the Hill game. I’m just gonna act like I never said that and go chug some pink whit and get absolutely piled up and try to forget

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Why must Hermantown fuck North Shore up like that like are you kidding me 13-0.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Peter Mulder just committed first degree murder

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Tom Brady is an old sack of potatoes

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@HAHA_Hockey I mean good for the kid but he has faced 95 shots this season fuck put me in net with that defense H-Town has and I would probably have the same stats

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@MNHockeyStar Good fuck the rodents

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

4 months

Going to East Vs Tonka tomorrow… this should be interesting. Going to have to down a couple edibles before the ass whoopin to make it worth the price of admission. #doggystyle

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

I am officially moving to Philadelphia to move in with my boyfriend Alex Bump. We are going to get an apartment in Philly and get a nice waterbed to make sweet love on.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Oh lord Hill-Murray heads up to Moorhead today for a big fucking showdown. Definitely game of the day and I’m thinking Hill will win the one 4-3.Feel like Godbout will have a big game

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

How the fuck did Andover lose to East. Daddy Thoreson must be on the boogasuga to lose to the Scooby-Doo and the gang

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@YouthHockeyHub Cry me a river my god. You need to be a bit ripped up to watch those games.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Just got home to turn on the wild game then I heard who was on the broadcast with my man Anthony as soon as I heard that awful noise of Gigi Marvin speaking I put my television on mute… I would rather bob for apples in a clogged urinal then listen to her bs for a full game…🤮🤢

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

The Wild are a disappointment. The Vikings are Minnesotas team

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

What a great fucking day for high school hockey am I right. I’m all horned up

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@MNHockeyStar Yeah none of this it/as/shim shit

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Holy fuck I would rather eat nails for breakfast lunch and dinner than listen to this dishwasher for a millisecond

NHL

@NHL

2 years

MARCH ON MASON 😤 #NHLFaceOff 📺: @ESPNPlus ➡️

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@FollowThePuck No that’s section 222

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Alex Bump Prior Lake GP:16 G:19 A:16 Dylan Godbout Hill-Murray GP:15 G:17 A:13 This is my top five. Who did I miss

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Maple Grove- A team that is experienced from their state championship run last year. They lost some good pieces but they still have finalist Finn Brink. A well-sized team that throws around its weight. They also have a good netminder in Jack Roach. #sneaky

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Hearing that the Hermantown Hawks are signing forward Krill Kaprizov to a 1 year 15 million contract. This still leaves them with plenty of flexibility to sign NHL caliber players. @KevinWeekes first

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

@MNHockeyStar Dave just drink the pain away… plenty of gin to go around.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

6 months

@MNHockeyStar Why would UMD players transfer to Minnetonka? Typo Dave…get off the sauce this early in the day!

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Is Buffalo a sneaky juggernaut? First Wayzata now Rogers…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Gavin Bloomdahl has the brain of snail

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@KarlEastHockey I would say a fat joke about Steve but it looks like he’s already got a lot on his plate…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Alex bump for his 5th fucking goal this kid is porn

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Orono-The Spartans had an outstanding season finishing 23-5, and with that, they are going to the X. In net Brock Peyton has put up great numbers posting 15 of their 20 wins. Senior Brady Walker leads the way with 48 points (170 in his career) They are my sneaky team to watch

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

@MGCrimsonHockey @MNHockeyStar Let’s go BRINK! #letsgocrimson

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Wow fucking Margenau just sold MG. He must have been at McGoverns slugging Guinness before the game. Buddy was seeing two pucks on that pinch. It saddens me to see Brink gone…

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Top 3 Student Sections I want to see at the X 1. St.Thomas -Boys in their uniforms -NO GIRLS! -Always loud!

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

5 months

Games of the day Coon Rapids at Champlin Park? Wayzata at Hill-Murray Duluth East at Holy Family Chan at Tonka⭐️ Mahtomedi at STA Andover at Rodgers

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Holy shit did rapids hold on by the tip of their dicks. Hell of a game and most likely section final game.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Lots of great games on tonight Rogers vs Centennial Moorhead vs Roseau or Champlin Park vs White Bear Lake but the game of the night maybe even the year Hermantown vs Grand Rapids at the IRA. Can’t wait to sit in my couch with a nice cold beer and a bag of chips and watch this.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@MNHockeyStar Dave when is the last time a BIG 10 team won a national championship? Durrrrrr 👹

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

I already have a boner for the game tomorrow… Rapids vs Andover you already know that’s gonna be a good one

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

🚨Breaking news🚨 According to my sources I have been informed early this morning that the Hermantown Hawks are finally moving up to 7AA. This comes after a 3rd place finish this year. Another thing to keep a eye on is the transfer portal I’m hearing a couple big names linked🦅

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 months

@UMDMensHockey @TheNCHC No Spicer ?

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@epboyshockey Looks like it’s time to pick up someone before the trade deadline. #rikubrown #Mlags #bensteeves #jacksonblake

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Well that just happened

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

3 months

@MNHockeyLife @Romuald_Images Got to watch this kid a couple times in Duluth. He’s the real deal, didn’t have a great team in front of him but kept them in games.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Let’s fucking go! 12 pack of ultras in and I am fucking buzzing ,ready for the warriors to take a gigantic smelly shit on cathedral #EricCumsock

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

No kidding,nothing worse than those tight leather seats and the fresh smell of diesel on a nice cold Minnesota day. God knows these kids can afford a coach bus. Actually the city should just donate a coach bus to Alex Bump’s mom for giving birth to such a fucking rocket of a son.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@Denfeld_Hockey @FollowThePuck We already know what the outcome of this game is gonna be. #gethunted #rollsreversed

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

@MNHockeyStar Just got a chub

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

BSM vs Hermantown is going to be a fucking wagon tonight 2 of the top 10 teams in the state high level talent on both sides. Sneak in some liquor to the game and have a good time! Remember don’t drink and drive people unless you really need to! #pinkwhitney #bigdealbrew

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Andover- A team that is run by its first line of Conway,Casey and Thoreson. They have an absurd 246 points this year. With a talented defenseman in May-Robinson, the Huskies could do some serious damage but the way the seeding is they will most likely have to get past Minnetonka.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 months

No Morehead in the tourney is gonna be more weird than this fact -A dung beetle can bury a ball of dung 250 times their weight! But seriously I’m gonna miss seeing this cum potato at the tournament! 🥔

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

The Wild are a fucking disappointment.

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Section 222 really pulled out the 2-4-6-8 crimson girls are overweight chant. An absolute disgusting/amazing act

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

Joshua Giuliani you can stay over anytime there’s always an open spot in my bed with me.I will give you a nice gentle back massage while you sip some of the worlds finest chardonnay

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

2 years

And now Hermantown fucking murdering New Prague

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Matt Cooke

@MattCooke2000

1 year

Dumba just sent camel toe Joe out of this stratosphere. What a fucking hit. Now we need something to skate over Robertsons neck…