You are the love with which I love you. Studying reality through direct experience.
Realization & Maturation, Meditation & Inquiry. DM for 1-on-1 sessions.
Inquiry is the greatest practice I've ever invested my time and energy into.
It is the heart of how I approach all of life, spirituality, relationships, etc.
So... what is inquiry?
Inquiry, in short, could be said to be a living, dynamic, and sacred investigation into what is
@Theholisticpsyc
It all starts with being radically honest with ourselves:
- Where am I lying to myself?
- Where are my blindspots?
- Where do I still manipulate others?
In our egoic state, we are selfish beings. There is no shame in that.
Only potential to recognize, heal, and transcend that.
@Theholisticpsyc
Most of us have learned to be highly manipulative towards ourselves and others to survive as a social creature.
To change this, we first must see all the ways we manipulate. Not others first - us first. It's not easy to be honest about our tricky patterns.
But it allows healing
@Theholisticpsyc
A relationship is just our best attempt to make two immensely complex beings harmonize with each other.
It's okay if it's not easy - that's a feature, not a bug.
Integrity is like magic.
Once you live in alignment with your truth, you don't only feel real and fulfilled. The whole universe seems to keep supporting you.
Here's how you can live a life of profound integrity in 3 steps:
@MindTendencies2
Only love can heal. And love is already there. It's who you are.
See the love that's in your heart and bathe in it. Drench every pain and fear in this love.
That's the only way you heal. Nobody and no thing can give this to you.
@kemimarie
Awareness and clarity in conversation makes people feel seen, often more seen than by themselves.
And this is so uncomfortable for people because it shines light on things they don't want to see. Of course they lash out in one way or another to close down again.
@gaialect
One abusive parent when you're young is like a prison you can't escape. It's emotional torture while your development needs innocent love and understanding.
Even if the whole world belittles you, never stop loving.
The most beautiful expression of yourself is your open heart.
This doesn't need validation. Love is self validating.
Go out there and radiate.
@Theholisticpsyc
Having to worry about money triggers existential fear and makes it really difficult to have space for inner work.
It's a basic need that I feel a conscious humanity of the future should have figured out for everyone.
@Theholisticpsyc
I learned that all my inner life, all parts, all emotions, all pains are actually on my side.
There's nothing in me that's bad or has an evil intent.
Some parts just don't see clearly and hurt me instead of helping. They need my love to see clearly.
@Theholisticpsyc
It's not like people are toxic all the way through.
All of us have a beautiful heart and even an abuser lets love shine through at times.
To a child raised in this way, it is very confusing why the love gets taken away, distorted, and randomly given.
@Theholisticpsyc
The only reason I want children is because I want to allow another perspective of life to have the chance to explore this amazing gift.
And I think I have a lot of love to give and wisdom to share when the point comes, and I want my kids to live consciously and freely.
@amandaperera
The day we learn to openly communicate with anyone, anywhere, is the day we understand that everything is fundamentally okay.
We are okay. Life is okay. Death is okay. Everything we feel is okay. To speak it is okay.
@MindTendencies2
To be healed means to be sober from seeing the world with the eyes of a needy, deeply wounded child.
To sober up, we need to love our inner childs to the moon and back, and help them see things clearly
Long term strategy for a calm mind and a relaxed body:
Don't try to calm yourself. Don't use control to 'make' yourself relaxed. That's more contraction.
Instead, let yourself be. Just be present to what's there. If you're agitated, let yourself be agitated.
Naturally settle.
@Theholisticpsyc
A high-quality relationship challenges me, mirrors all of myself, and doesn't stop encouraging me to grow and blossom.
And it does so with love and safety.
Really grateful for having the chance to live this kind of communion ππΌ
@Theholisticpsyc
Sense of self starts developing in the first months of life. Isn't narcissism a very immature sense of self which is stuck in the self-serving stage without learning that others matter, too?
It might depend on what you define as sense of self.
Do you crave deep human connection but feel surrounded by shallowness and lack of heart?
I felt like this for years - until I found the right people and opened myself to heart-based relating. I now feel deeply nourished and inspired by my relationships.
This is what I learned:
@Maryamhasnaa
Find someone who's doing the work. The work of being honest, being transparent, being willing to look at everything inside.
This is the person you want to be with. You will be able to do the work together, and this is much more powerful than going it alone.
@Theholisticpsyc
I was a people pleaser for most of my life.
The habit melted away once I developed deep self love and the understanding that other's views of me don't take away this love.
I'm its only source. Others can choose to resonate with it or not.
Ultimately, I stopped fearing judgment.
@Theholisticpsyc
Safety shows in how relaxed you can be even if you're emotionally triggered.
It means you have learned that you are not your emotions. This distance creates safety because you're not identifying with the storm, you just watch it from afar.
@Theholisticpsyc
What we've been looking for all along is ourselves - not as a human being, but as the reality that we are.
Love. Profound, all-encompassing love.
This is all we have ever longed for.
@gaialect
True love doesn't fear doubt.
But it will make sure to 100% completely understand where the doubt comes from.
When the connection is real, the doubt comes from old wounds who fear some kind of loss.
True love will heal all these wounds and be radically honest with herself.
@Theholisticpsyc
Scapegoating also happens in schools and it's terrifying.
Two days ago, I waited for a bus next to a huge group of school kids - two boys continuously spit onto another boy, who seemingly just wanted to connect.
He was obviously picked out to be the punching bag. It's so sad.
Consciousness is like a vast, royal palace with endless winding corridors, rooms, and secrets to explore.
Most of us live our whole life in one room and think this is what reality is. Naturally, we feel limited and claustrophobic.
But the mystic opens the door... and starts
@Theholisticpsyc
One of our deepest pains is guilt.
That innermost feeling that we've done wrong.
It's not only coming from our upbringing, it goes much deeper than that. It's an archetypal feeling that we have abandoned ourselves.
The way out? Fully realize your essential, perfect innocence.
@Theholisticpsyc
High quality friendships require the same awareness and sensitivity as romantic relationships, minus the physical intimacy bit.
If your friends don't support you all the way and create a safe container of respect and love, are they really friends you want to let into your life?
@Theholisticpsyc
My body is beautiful.
I am not identified with my body, but I love it for the temple of my life in this reality.
I am responsible for my own health. If you have a kind suggestion, ask me if I wanna hear it. Otherwise, please understand that you don't need to change me.
@Theholisticpsyc
No transparency, no intimacy.
Transparency is to show yourself with all your thoughts and feelings.
Intimacy is to stay in this rawness and be touched by acceptance and love.
@Theholisticpsyc
Love is when truth recognizes itself in another being.
Love is seeing that you and I, we are one being looking through different eyes.
Such love is perfectly accepting, compassionate, and unconditional.
Such love is true love, authentic love.
@Theholisticpsyc
You learn to be the good boy or good girl because that's the only way you got love.
And as children, we depend on love, it's crucial for our survival. Toddlers can die when they're not loved.
People pleasing can come from such a serious, life preserving coping mechanism.
@Theholisticpsyc
The one who wants to have the last word seeks reassurance: "Yes, you're right."
Which translates for them as "I am worthy.", or even "I am more worthy than others."
It's a compensation for not having been seen, appreciated, and reassured as a child.
@Theholisticpsyc
The only way to disagree healthily, without needing any scripts for it, is to deeply love the person in front of you without any personal agendas attached.
What's also needed is complete see-through of your patterns that block this way of loving.
It's mostly fear of losing love
@Theholisticpsyc
Your authentic partner shows you where you're blind, loves you where you yet can't, and accepts you exactly as you are.
You do the same. And together, your wholeness in each of yourselves will become more and more clear.
@Theholisticpsyc
I used to give people the space to express all their emotions and struggles, no matter what.
They would go on for hours.
I learned that even though it's coming from my best intentions, it's not what helps them the most.
And I was also ignoring my own need for being heard.
@gaialect
Some part of us might know:
This person will hurt me.
But some other part of us, a deeply wounded one, can't help but hope:
This person will fix me.
That's why inside and outside our actions can feel paradoxical, and we stay out of pure desire to be redeemed.
@Theholisticpsyc
We're so sneaky pretending to be kind but actually waiting for kindness in return.
Many times we don't even see this, because internally we're doing the same thing.
@Theholisticpsyc
Stonewalling, disappearing, punishing with absence - these are defense mechanisms that come from not being able to be there for one's own wounded parts.
Look out for these patterns in yourself and others. Know that more inner clarity and loving healing work is necessary.
@Theholisticpsyc
I also quickly recognize those that experienced little hurt in their early years compared to most of us.
There is playful trust and coherence, less rigidity.
These people have a magical glow to me.
@Theholisticpsyc
Uncomfortable truths along the path to self realization:
- Who you think you are is not real and never was.
- Beneath almost all of your behavior, there is a deep fear of not existing.
- The price for truth is everything that's false. Everything.
@Theholisticpsyc
A successful relationship will reveal the truth in each other and melt away all limited beliefs about who we are and what reality is.
Relationship is the bedding for authentic spiritual work. This is what love is about. Love is about seeing what's real.
@Theholisticpsyc
Most people tell you their ideas about life. Rarely does anyone speak from direct experience.
True authenticity means not taking on any beliefs but being open to all perspectives. In the end, we have to find out ourselves.
@Theholisticpsyc
Spiritual awakening goes far beyond finding your true, authentic self in this world and expressing it independently from all the beliefs we were conditioned by.
Spiritual awakening is an awakening to who we truly are - not a person, not a someone.
But ALL of reality.
@Theholisticpsyc
Those mature enough to grow together with us will be grateful for our honest and heartful confrontation.
Together, we can learn that confrontation doesn't mean fighting or having to defend ourselves.
It's in both's best interest to let go of unhealthy behavior and thrive.
@Theholisticpsyc
"There are many perspectives and mine is just one of them. Some perspectives might be closer to Truth but none are less valid or lovable. I can learn a lot from listening to and contemplating on other's."
@MindHaste
@_Pammy_DS_
People have no connection to the divine reality of existence.
They forget themselves in daily strife and look for freedom in addictions and things.
They don't understand that happiness can only be found inside.
The spiritual path feels more and more like letting go of an addiction. Much of the practice is letting the withdrawal symptoms play out and learning to be comfortable without any points of reference.
It's the addiction to divide, to attach to experience, to identify.
@Theholisticpsyc
The greatest pain is to not really be present, letting automatic patterns control your life.
Unawareness of pain means you will react and be on autopilot. Awareness of pain means you can respond and be alive.
Choose awareness, even when it's hard because it uncovers wounds.
When a pain in me is triggered, I have learned to commit to one thing and to one thing only:
To feel the pain exactly as it is. To give it space to breathe and pulsate.
This means I sit down and feel deeply into the pain. This is all that is required. I always find that not
@Theholisticpsyc
@thecolemination
That's why meditation is key. Simmer in silence until all agitation just comes to rest.
Silence will feel boring as long as we live in a mental construct of who we are.
Just being is enough. That's what we can learn.
@Theholisticpsyc
I can't imagine a more fitting partner than my current one. There is such a deep alignment in our service to Truth and Love.
And it's such a hard path. I don't think it gets easier with a deeper connection.
It demands all of you to purify and thrive.
@Theholisticpsyc
Accountability comes down to this:
- I have the power to make decisions in my life
- I am responsible to find out what I want and how to get there
- I am the one that must choose to live each moment with intention and alignment
When I love myself, I take responsibility.
@MindTendencies2
The traumatized mind is magnetically pulled to the ones who hurt it, seeking redemption.
But what it gets is reinforced wounding.
The mind and heart are delicate things.
Seek those people and environments who can hold you tenderly and would never hurt you.
@Theholisticpsyc
Closeness doesn't mean clinginess.
Giving yourself and your partner space for alone time - something we all need - is not something you heroically grant.
It's a basic need and a healthy expression of fearless loving.
@Theholisticpsyc
Not many people today grow up in a way that they pass through all the normal stages of development.
Instead, many of us are stuck somewhere along a journey that was meant for our childhood.
We have to unstuck ourselves and complete the developmental steps to finally grow up.
Do-nothing meditation is the cure to our addiction to thinking (and by far my number one favourite spiritual practice).
Whether you're already practicing or are curious to try it, here are a few in-depth insights into the practice and our thought-addiction:
In do-nothing
We don't see the infinite beauty around us because our minds overlay our experience with filters and interpretations.
We can practice to slide off these filters and see the beauty of reality for what it is. This is how:
Next time you're outside in nature, forget what you know
𧡠It's time to feel good about life. Right now, no excuses.
You have all it takes to reconnect to the innocent happiness and peace that your heart desires. There's no reason to wait for anything to happen before you can feel amazing.
Here are 6 steps to cultivate happiness:
@Theholisticpsyc
It's hard for such people to feel loved simply for existing.
As a child, part of them learns that they need to be there for a parent instead of the parent needing to be there for them. This is what they come to think deserves them love and worth.
One of the trickiest traps on the spiritual path:
Believing one is awakened because one logically understands what the teachings are saying.
So many people are parroting non duality from a state of mental masturbation. Been there π
It's not it. Not even close.
Understanding
@lowkeyalbert
@_Pammy_DS_
My best friend and I hug for minutes at a time, every time. This has translated into all my relationships including my intimate relationship, and it has changed my life.
A good hug opens your heart.
@Theholisticpsyc
People pleasing comes from lack of self respect and confidence in your own way of living.
When you love yourself and know what values are important to you, you're naturally kind to all beings, but you don't fear their rejection.
You valuing yourself is finally enough.
If there's one core lesson that improved my life in immeasurable ways, it's this:
Healing is feeling.
You can't heal pain when you're not capable and willing to feel it fully.
Here are 6 steps you can take to master the art of feeling your emotions:
1. Know what you want
Sit down, listen to your heart, and be brutally honest: when it comes down to your deepest desires - what do you really want out of life?
Explore this question until there's no doubt left.
Distill your deepest longings in life. Write them down.
@MindTendencies2
It's such a relief to know you are loved even if you're struggling.
Your inner parts who judge you as inadequate might be confused: why am I not judged?
A loving partner can help you heal these parts.
It's okay to be human. No need to be hyper vigilant or judge yourself.
If we finally approach the serious spiritual path and sit down with our mind and oberseve it...
... what we find is quite ugly.
So much worry. So much resistance. So much fear and pain and confusion.
The practice of acceptance and the search for Truth starts here. Sit with
@_Pammy_DS_
If you wish well for another, you learn to be happy for them if they found a better fit than you.
When you love, it's never about you. In the end, you just wish for the other's freedom and joy.
@Theholisticpsyc
The greatest gift you can make to those parts in you that are hurt, is to listen to them, smile at them, give them a hug, and just love them.
By accepting all of yourself for what it is and loving it all the way, your defenses relax.
You're safe enough to love yourself.
@777_oya
A good relationship is like a spiral of presence, honesty, and inner growth, intensifying and dancing to great heights of realization and healing.
It's clear when it's the case, but when it's not the case, we can still trick ourselves into believing that it is.
@Theholisticpsyc
Try speaking to yourself as if you were the most precious jewel of a being.
As if your worth were immeasurable and your heart unspeakably beautiful.
Try it, authentically, and you will feel that something resonates.
Because this is what's true, even if nobody told you.
@Theholisticpsyc
Mature love does not seek stability or safety.
The only safety it has is that both partners are devoted to love beyond all psychological barriers.
Fearless pursuit of ever increasing love is the only way. It never ends. Love is not static.
3. Align your life with your highest values
Find out what it means to live and act from your highest values. And then do it.
It might not always be easy.
Integrity takes courage, commitment, exploration, and honesty. But it is the most wholesome life you live.
@Theholisticpsyc
When your family is toxic, there is absolutely zero shame in disconnecting from them.
Focus on your beautiful life and build a family founded on love and integrity - something your family couldn't offer you.
@Theholisticpsyc
Sadness is not a problem. Only then is it a sign of dysfunction if it keeps getting pushed down, as if we never really want to look into its eyes.
A healthy psyche will face and digest sadness as it appears.
In healing we digest what has been accumulating for years.
@thesoleromero
Trauma, dysfunctional patterns, and an overactive nervous system block life energy from flowing freely.
What most know as normal life is a highly aroused way our systems try to keep balance.
Once we heal all this, life just flows. It's immense. It's intensely alive.
Meditation is like meta medicine.
Sitting for prolonged periods, without trying to change yourself, digests emotions, completes processes, heals wounds, encourages creative thinking, and stabilizes imbalances.
Consciousness, by itself, is healing, expanding, and harmonizing.
This soul that never experienced love but only mistreatment came to us for his last few months and we gave him all the love he never knew. It looks like today is most probably his last day. Thank you, beautiful one.
@Theholisticpsyc
Mature love never leaves your heart. It is your natural mode of being, even and especially during difficult situations.
Mature love is rooted in self-knowledge: you deeply understand that love is your core, not something you need from a partner.
Mature love is given freely.
6. Healthy(!) relationships are growth on steroids
The right partner will make you face all your dysfunctional patterns and emotional reactions and hold the space for you to heal. They will encourage you to express your truest Self. Embrace the challenge and enjoy its fruits.
@Theholisticpsyc
When the human soul matures, it sheds layers upon layers of identity, becoming ever more free from illusions and concepts.
Shedding an identity is like dying. It brings up all the existential fears that such an identity could have.
This is the gate we all pass β¨
@Theholisticpsyc
You're jealous because you were denied the love you deserved and needed as a child.
You couldn't safely attach and thus had to look for the safe haven of stable love outside of you.
You resent whoever else has what your heart dearly needs.
2. Know your highest values
Translate your desires into your highest values.
Values are not goals. Examples for values:
- Truth
- Growth
- Health
- Love
Be merciless here and get clarity on what THE most important values are for you.
Write down your top 5.
𧡠For 10 years, I've been looking for "the Truth".
I always wanted to know what reality is and why it exists at all.
So I embarked on the spiritual journey that asks exactly these questions. I poured my heart into it.
And what I found is unspeakably beautiful:
@Theholisticpsyc
Know what you want and accept the fact that doing deep, meaningful work in life is uncomfortable.
By facing the uncomfortable every moment, life becomes easy.
By escaping the uncomfortable every moment, life becomes harder and harder.
@MindTendencies2
Exercise your ability to observe everything objectively, without taking anything as an attack. Especially the things that trigger you the most.
See things for what they are. Have clear perception.
You'll naturally act with love, and without fear.
Remember: It only matters what YOU care about.
Not your parents. Not your culture. Not anyone.
Don't let the past and others influence your decision.
Be crystal clear. What do YOU value?
@Theholisticpsyc
I knew I was healing when my heart started exploding with love that tears came to my eyes.
I learned that feeling deep love and joy is our natural state. It's become my reality, and I want all beings to experience the same.
Internally say "may you be free and happy" to everyone you see for one day.
Really do it and see the what happens to your state of being.
May you be free and happy, Love ππΌβ₯οΈ
4. Life is a miracle
The mind may play its drama all it wants, but at the end of the day, the elephant in the room is that life is insanely beautiful. The mere fact that it exists is blowing me away every day. Itβs pure magic. Ground yourself in this magic as often as you can.
@Theholisticpsyc
What's being triggered in us is either a wound from the past or a protective pattern that doesn't want the wound to come up again.
These inner forces are not who we are. And yet, they deserve all our love and compassion.
Once we love our triggers, they trust that they can
Step by step reparenting for healing yourself (a thread)
If your parents were not exceptionally loving, emotionally mature, and conscious, you need to reparent yourself as an adult.
This thread gives you guidance on how you can give yourself what your parents never could: