Marcus D. Luffy @MJohnsonFTW Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Marcus D. Luffy

4 years

I gave my boss my Netflix password so he could watch Tiger King and this man has lost his mind. His kids added their own profiles and he changed my profile to ours. Nah, fam

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Last thing, I’ve worked there for 7 years & these people literally treat me like family. They give me money whenever I need it, invite me over for holidays, always look out for me, etc. Lmfao I love them. My boss just changed my profile to fuck w me bc we always prank each other

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

He really buggin 😅😅😅

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Lmfao just so we’re clear, I did immediately correct it

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

I know I’m a Twitter troll and not to let it bother me, but my bosses are not millionaires. They’re small business owners that cut back on expenses so they could continue to pay staff members while the gym was not bringing in revenue. They’re some of the best ppl I know. Relax.

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Oh yeah, and when he picked me up to take me to lunch today, I tried to tell him we were going viral and he started whispering and said, “wait, right now?” He thought it meant we were on live 😂😂😭

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

I’ll share some of my old tweets about my boss lmao

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

My boss told me that my check was under his keyboard in his office... This MFer left me a whole scavenger hunt with 11 different clues before I finally got to my check. I might actually work for Michael Scott 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

@notChvnel I prefer my way. Takes less effort and teaches them that life ain’t fair ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Idk why my nephew was so mad about our race. I won fair and square

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

My boss told me that my check was under his keyboard in his office... This MFer left me a whole scavenger hunt with 11 different clues before I finally got to my check. I might actually work for Michael Scott 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Idk why my nephew was so mad about our race. I won fair and square

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Boss: I met a guy that works @ The Edge yesterday. He said he knows you. Do you know who I’m talking about? Me: Uhh, what was his name? Boss: I don’t really remember Me: ... What did he look like? Boss: I forget Me: ...

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Boss: Talked to the lady that pulled her kids from your class. Said she likes you but you’re loud and sarcastic & she didn’t want him to have a role model like that Me: Harsh. But you see the impact I’ve had on your own son 😅 Boss: Yeah, I shoulda pulled him out years ago Me:

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Lmfao my meeting w my bosses was ab the wife boss being concerned ab me making more money and my financial security in general bc I “spend my money very stupidly” & the husband boss said, “You mean I gotta find ways to pay this clown more money?!” Whole time I’m like:

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@adriftinwords That’s the only part that got me hahaha. He knows I’m a narcissist so he put my name second and lowercase 😤😤😤

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

My boss and I were having a couple of beers after I worked his kid’s soccer team party and his son and his friend wanted to play 2-on-2. Shit ain’t sweet just because you’re 11

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Lmao I texted this to my boss this morning and he starting panicking and called the gym to try to get my classes covered

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Lmfaoooo sick of this guy

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

My boss and I were having a couple of beers after I worked his kid’s soccer team party and his son and his friend wanted to play 2-on-2. Shit ain’t sweet just because you’re 11

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Lmfao my meeting w my bosses was ab the wife boss being concerned ab me making more money and my financial security in general bc I “spend my money very stupidly” & the husband boss said, “You mean I gotta find ways to pay this clown more money?!” Whole time I’m like:

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

These are my favorite texts to wake up to from my boss

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Boss: I met a guy that works @ The Edge yesterday. He said he knows you. Do you know who I’m talking about? Me: Uhh, what was his name? Boss: I don’t really remember Me: ... What did he look like? Boss: I forget Me: ...

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Boss: Talked to the lady that pulled her kids from your class. Said she likes you but you’re loud and sarcastic & she didn’t want him to have a role model like that Me: Harsh. But you see the impact I’ve had on your own son 😅 Boss: Yeah, I shoulda pulled him out years ago Me:

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Uhhh so don’t try to drunkenly kick a piñata off of anyone’s head

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

@EmmanuelChenny @vinny2NlCE He absolutely tried to say Charlemagne was irrelevant 😂. "You don't have no billboard records." "If it wasn't for this, I would've never heard of you." "This is gonna be your most viewed..."

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Okay, I know Russ gets a lot of hate on here but I’m fucking with this song

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

@OkMontana345 @BleacherReport Boy talking like this and got 8 followers 😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Lmfao I was going home and my boss and his kid were playing football in the field across from my apartment so I hung out with them and these mfers started hitting me with flea flickers and WR passes 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@deadswifty That shit really got me lmfaoooo. At least capitalize my name, damn hahaha

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

So glad I beat you up. Thanks for dropping the assault charges tho 😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

@edinger_james7 @dsonoiki Well, Harry has ALWAYS had the best broom or the second broom if we’re being clear. Boy was gifted the Nimbus 2000 by the school while everyone else was on CleanSweep Elevens

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Also, the fool tried to do it to his sister and still failed 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Lmao I texted this to my boss this morning and he starting panicking and called the gym to try to get my classes covered

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

Always.

J.K. Rowling

@jk_rowling

6 years

Watching Die Hard. Alan Rickman really was insanely great. 💔

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Fell for it again lmfaooo

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

@Stolzerback @notChvnel 😭😭😭

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

These are my favorite texts to wake up to from my boss

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

@bisping We didn’t. We want the podcast, you bellend (I have it on good authority that that’s a solid British insult).

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

One of my favorite things to do when I’m drunk is to pretend to be security at bars that I don’t work at and make people show me their IDs I have a fucking drink in my hand 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Since this tweet is getting so much attention, I’d like to take the opportunity to BEG for an Atlanta/Dave crossover 😭😭😭 @lildickytweets @donaldglover

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@aadore_m Thank you for understanding 🙏🏾

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Wow. The President of the United States with the, “Tweets aren’t loading right now,” after getting called out for thanking his white supremacist supporters that screamed, “White Power!” at protesters

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

Now I know why delivery drivers can never find my house. I live on fucking forty-firth street

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@lilvvvvv @XLNB I got those too 😭

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

HAHAHAHAHA My roommate just asked his mom for nudes instead of his girlfriend 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

Lmfao a bunch of white people in cowboy hats that came from a Jason Aldean concert got mad at me bc when they asked me why I was wearing a mask while bartending I said, “Because I’m serving a bunch of white people in cowboy hats that just came from a Jason Aldean concert”

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Lmfao I was going home and my boss and his kid were playing football in the field across from my apartment so I hung out with them and these mfers started hitting me with flea flickers and WR passes 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

@gldivittorio I know the vibe

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

Lmfao a bunch of white people in cowboy hats that came from a Jason Aldean concert got mad at me bc when they asked me why I was wearing a mask while bartending I said, “Because I’m serving a bunch of white people in cowboy hats that just came from a Jason Aldean concert”

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Wow. This new @KevinHart4real #BlackHistoryMonth special is incredibly informative. It’s wild how much we don’t know about our own history

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

I had an insane dream where @TheRock was hosting a private screening of Black Adam and then he started playing the piano and it became a musical and I somehow became a character in the movie. So what I’m saying is #BlackAdam will be a musical. Ya heard it here first

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

Is that a Yankee fitted on top of the tree with Timbs being used as not only ornaments but also stockings?!

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

I want this mother fucker on the front lines

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

My niece only raced me on the condition that I didn’t push her and I missed the trip 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

@allthatssolid @StephanieKilfo2 @irritatedwoman @GBNReports Yeah, what the actual fuck is that person talking about

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

All my new followers are gonna be real disappointed when my tweets revert back to drunken ramblings about politics and anime

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@SideHustleScott @davidcudi_garci Excuse me, mother fucker?

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

Haircut and earring got my little cousin looking like a white woman with mixed kids

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 months

@marclamonthill She needed 8 points to break the record and went out and scored the team’s first 8 points. 🔥

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@SideHustleScott @davidcudi_garci Lmao my bad. That wasn’t immediately evident to me and not only have randoms been saying that I fabricated this, but also, I’m known for attacking tweet stealers all the time. I got defensive. My bad

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

7 years

@L_Bell26 You can trust your o-line

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

@DevinElleKurtz @NickAnimation @Nickelodeon @paramountplus WAIT! YOU PAINTED THESE?! These have been my screensaver for ages now. I couldn’t remember where I saw them. You’re brilliant

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

I shoulda let my roommate beat you up at the Field Hockey house in 2013.

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

1 year

Wow. Talk about a throwback. I remember watching this kid in those viral videos like 12 years ago when I was wrestling in college 😭😭🔥

The Wrestling Room (Pat Mineo)

@MrPatMineo

1 year

Never forget. 🤟🏼

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Lmao at all the angry whites in the replies

Frederick Joseph

@FredTJoseph

5 years

Congrats to Megan Rapinoe on her golden boot and the entire #USWNT for their World Cup win. Megan, is a true American hero and she will be remembered as someone on the right side of history.

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@bigplay24slay Bruv, please don’t share right-wing lies. Dude is not dead. He did not own the store. He charged at protestors with a SWORD.

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

When’s the best time in my newfound popularity to say, “Fuck Donald Trump. He’s an incompetent, scumbag, piece of shit”?

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

7 years

As opposed to your 9th grade teacher from college?

macy

@macy_babe

7 years

I'm drunk as fuck and just ran into my 9th grade teacher FROM HIGH SCHOOL

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

@oranicuhh She’s a child. You can’t feel good about this. Imagine what this could do to her self-esteem or just psychologically in general if someone showed her this and told her that hundreds of thousands had seen her being roasted. I’m a fan, but please do better.

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

1 year

The ONLY answer

RNB RADAR

@RNB_RADAR

1 year

Give me an example of someone singing like the rent is due

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@Billy_DaKid19 Nigga, I’m black

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Man all these people followed me bc of that wholesome thread and I’m grateful but now I just wanna tweet hoodrat shit with my friends 😭😭😭 Y’all please don’t think less of me

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

7 years

@superciolek @FeministaJones @ManMadeMoon Tell that to Paul Ryan as he tries to push an incredibly biased agenda

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

Absolutely my two favorite interactions in this thread. “Bitch how you let a board of wood get you mad 😭” and “I’m talking to yo white side right now” are undefeated 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

Bet. I’m starving

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

Should this lady be able to tweet? / \ NO NO

The Transformed Wife 🦋

@godlywomanhood

6 years

Should mothers have careers?

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

I have two very different jobs

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Florida Man back at it again

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

@Eagles_NFL_ @OkMontana345 @BleacherReport You’re a stan account and can’t even reach 70 followers? Pls dedicate yourself to literally anything else.

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

One of my all-time favorite Disney songs

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Mood:

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

@VancityReynolds It’s not true. It’s been debunked

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

HAHAHAHAHA AN UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR THAT IVE NEVER MET JUST SLID THIS UNDER MY DOOR

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@RenegadePizaGuy @LooseAsADEUCE @SpreadJessy No he wasn’t. That was just a rumor that someone started for some reason. It was just tremendous acting

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK 😭😭😭

Dwayne Johnson

@TheRock

3 years

Actually a dope idea 💡😄 Let’s make the movie first then I’ll call my brotha, the maestro @Lin_Manuel #blackadam ⚡️ #themusical 🎶

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

My cash app is $MJohnsonFTW1 if y’all wanna buy the old man lunch tomorrow

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

Bro the @Pfranksodu lunch special is undefeated. $9 and you’re giving your money to an incredible local business. 10/10

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

Holy shit. I just found a video from last weekend of a bisexual British guy begging for someone to hook up with him at closing time. I do not remember this 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

I told my boss that I’m never getting married today and he said, “Stop that. You’re too good with kids not to ever have any of your own. And they’ll change your life for the better.” That’s very sweet of you and all but I never said I wasn’t gonna get anyone pregnant, buddy

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

@chrissyteigen @kelly_clarkson Can you guys FaceTime me instead and make my life?

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

If that tweet hits 750,000 likes, I’m throwing a Zoom party for everyone and forcing my boss to attend

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

100 likes on this tweet and I’ll go sober for this whole week

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

3 years

You order the Uber and we’ll all Venmo you 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

Hahahaha one of my six-year-olds couldn’t find a mask today and had to wear his mom’s custom-made one… love to see it lmfaooo

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

This dude got kicked out of 7-11 for having his puppy in his backpack so I volunteered to watch her outside while he went in and look how adorable she was 😭😭😭

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

2 years

@Eagles_NFL_ @OkMontana345 @BleacherReport R u here tweeting ab them or are they here tweeting ab you? Weird how that works. Get a life, fella

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

5 years

@chrissyteigen This tweet is gonna be taken severely outta context

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

4 years

@BabieTinkk No, really

Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

My boss told me that my check was under his keyboard in his office... This MFer left me a whole scavenger hunt with 11 different clues before I finally got to my check. I might actually work for Michael Scott 😂😂😂

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Marcus D. Luffy

@MJohnsonFTW

6 years

I had to sit one of my 7-year-old boys out for a couple of minutes because he refused to listen so his dad told him to write me an apology note... He walks back in, silently hands me this note, then walks back out lmaoooo

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