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Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Profile
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

@LoxyFlo

18,002
Followers
8,293
Following
1,738
Media
15,938
Statuses

Introvert. Misanthropist. Gammon baiter. All the good stuff basically. Snitch taggers blocked. Racists muted.

London/Leith
Joined March 2022
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
Someone’s just discovered David Cameron
@LyfeOfRyley
Lyfe of Ryley
2 months
Men are fucking pigs..
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
‘I bet you £1000 you’ll never own a house.’
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
Get a better paid job, get a second job, wear an extra jumper, eat for 30p, swim in shit, live with Covid, don't call an ambulance, live without fresh fruit and veg, stop buying lattes and Netflix, live with your parents, stop talking down Britain, stop ruining Brexit and shut up
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Michael Fabricant is smaller than I imagined.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Dear @SteveBarclay I'm planning to visit all 40 new hospitals in one week on a unicycle to raise money for charity. Can you let me know where they all are please?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Millions of Britons are now living with 'long conservative'. Symptoms include; nausea, irritability, despondency, insecure job, pay cuts, low growth and record inflation.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Just seen on the BBC, people voluntarily sleeping rough overnight in the rain in London just to see the Queens coffin. At the same time actual homeless people have been moved on by the police purely for the optics.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
28 days
He kept the tube running while Susan Hall’s colleagues Boris Johnson and Shaun Bailey partied. He froze fares, he fed children, he cleared up the mess Johnson left, he stood up to the government, he brought fresh air to outer London and he didn’t give in to the racists.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Grant Shapps pointing out that train drivers get paid more than nurses as if his government has nothing to do with nurses low pay...
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 month
The Tories tell lazy Brits to get working.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
How can Liz Truss lecture us on saving energy when all the lights are on but nobody's home?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
27 days
More problems for Sunak as Laura Kuennsberg quits live on air, triggering a by-election.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
11 Downing Street is essentially an air bnb now.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
Laura Kuennsberg is such a Tory now if she resigned from the BBC there would have to be a by-election.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
28 days
I don’t think John thought this through.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
Laurence Fox and Joey Barton look like moles who are enjoying a day being human before the magic spell wears off in some twee British film.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
Roses are red, Farage is a cunt, Sunak’s a cunt, and Johnson’s a cunt.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
My sources tell me Fiona Bruce and Laura Kuenssberg are close to resigning from the government.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
Great Britain; where did your wealth come from? No, where did it really come from?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
Rishi Sunak travels to kitchen to cook for his wife on Mother’s Day.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
If anyone is wondering why Nadine Dorries isn't standing it's because it's now late afternoon.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
15 days
Skint Eastwood.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
Well well. One of Susan Hall’s advisers has spilled the beans and let slip that she’s planning to charge pedestrians £12 a day to walk round London and an extra £5 if you use more than 10 pedestrian crossings a day. How can hard working Londoners afford this? Total madness.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
27 days
Boris Johnson's photo ID deemed unacceptable.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
Hey @LeeAndersonMP_ is this the person subsidised by the tax payer who's always in McDonald's you were wanging on about?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
7 months
Susan Hall still has no idea what happened to her missing belt.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Does Jacob Rees Mogg go on 1830s holidays?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 month
Dear Rishi. Sum bad people have locked me in McDonalds. Can you send me £6.50 so I can get a happy meal and milkshake?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 month
Happy St George’s Day to all who celebrate!
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Did he get all of these medals for It's A Knockout?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
A youth centre? How long was his speech?
@HughCasswell
Hugh Casswell
5 months
PM Rishi Sunak on a visit to a Nottinghamshire youth centre today “2024 is going to be a better year” he says
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
25 days
Well Susan Hall. Being a lying, incompetent, racist dog whistling, gammon herding, despicable cunt didn’t really work out for you did it?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
12 days
A rare photo of an illegal underground pavement dining event in Europe. The police came and forcefully broke it up and arrested everyone involved minutes later. Thank goodness we left the EU.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
10 months
Lee Anderson doesn't represent the working class. He represents daft racist cunts.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
6 months
Meet your new Migration Minister Tom Pursglove. Climate change sceptic, arch Brexiteer and looks like he was born with a full set of teeth which he used to eat his way out of his mother.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
Jeremy Hunt just claimed the furlough scheme cost £400 billion. It actually cost £70 billion. Getting your figures wrong by 330 billion may be a new world record. Laura Kuenssberg didn't spot the mistake. Obvs.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
My thoughts and prayers are with Laura Kuennsberg this morning as the start of World War 3 sadly interferes with her plan to lead on the Angela Rayner story.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
Can’t believe World War 3 is breaking out the week Liz Truss’s book came out. Why her, why now?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Has Fabricant changed into his black wig yet?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
Prince William is somehow managing to combine organising childcare, getting driven to a hospital and going a bit bald. How does he do it?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Who remembers #Partygate I do.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
8 months
Calvin Robinson (not a real vicar) won't be appearing on GBNews (not technically a news channel) on 'Tonight with Dan Wootton' (which won't be starring Dan Wootton who has been suspended) because Calvin has also been suspended by the anti-cancel culture broadcaster. Got it.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Tories getting upset about a t-shirt while Chris Pincher is still an MP...
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
Isn't that cannibalism?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
Peter Bone and his wife in happier times.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
Liz Truss is the former Prime Minister in the same way I’m a former Hibs player because I once threw the ball back onto the pitch and it hit our captain full in the face and he had to go off injured.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
The UK now has the cost of living of Norway, the taxes of Sweden, the democracy of North Korea and the wages of the UK 13 years ago.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
The relationship was unwise but not illegal.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Johnson started off with an 'oven ready Brexit deal' and ended with us unable to afford to turn one on.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
6 months
Right! I fucking had enough of, Elon Musk, Matt Hancock, Boris Johnson, Lawrence fucking Fox, Martin Daubney, Susan fucking Hall, Allison Pearson, Suella, Lee Anderson, Rees fucking Mogg, Andrew Potato, Martin Daubney and Richard fucking Madeley and they can all fuck the fuck off
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
A message from the Gov: For Pete's sake don't travel by train, don't use too much leccy or gas, don't engage in any risky behaviour, don't have a mortgage, don't rent, don't ask for a pay rise, don't catch anything which needs antibiotics, do your own dentistry and stop moaning.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
Has Trump been swimming in Whitstable?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
Now that the Royals are basically on strike and claiming to be unfit to work is it time to reduce their benefits to make work pay?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
I’ve been a bit harsh with the gammon so to make amends I’d like to go early and wish you a happy St George Day
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
I spotted this nearby. Disgusting.
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@iamyesyouareno
iamyesyouareno
4 months
At some train stations in the UK, the English language is being replaced by another foreign language. But of course it’s all just a conspiracy theory.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
25 days
The far right in this country have so far been beaten by a dolphin a lettuce and a man dressed as a bin. They’re a bit shit aren’t they?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
10 months
#Leejohnella bacteria.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
21 days
‘On tonight’s show we’ve got four Tories just in case any of them defect to Labour half way through.’
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Nadine Dorries thought Johnson was going to win because she misheard someone saying Sunak Hunt will be running the country.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
28 days
Tomorrow will be the day Susan Hall finds out that bots can’t vote and there aren’t quite as many daft racist cunts as she thinks there are.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
If the top biscuit in the packet is broken then you eat all the broken bits then have a proper biscuit as the first one doesn't really count yes?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
Rishi Sunak has copied Trump and is selling his trainers to raise some cash.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Most Tories don't like people working from home but working from holiday is apparently okay by them.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
Liz Truss claimed that her constituents told her they don’t want ULEZ but I reckon they were actually saying ‘we don’t want you Liz’.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
‘ Dear William Wragg. Told you I was wel fit. I been getting flirty messages all day innit’.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
Are a gammon's pronouns he/ham?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
20 days
The economy has improved unless you have a mortgage, are renting or if you’re one of these people who insist on eating food.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
A new Tory campaign on fraud has been community noted for making fraudulent claims.
@JamesCleverly
James Cleverly🇬🇧
4 months
The impact of fraud can be heartbreaking, they don’t just steal your money; they steal your sense of security. Stop! Think Fraud, is our new campaign to help you spot fraud, protect yourself and seek help if you need it. 🔗
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
It's DISGUSTING how a middle eastern religion is getting precedence over Christianity.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 month
Can’t believe people are claiming St George wasn’t English. He has the same name as King George I who was as English as they come. And George Michaels. Do some research. Chumps.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
Laurence Fox is on GBNews to make Darren Grimes look clever, Darren is on to make Dan Wootton look clever, Dan is on to make Neil Oliver look clever, Neil is there to make Nigel Farage look clever and Nigel is there to make the viewer's dog feel clever.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
The Tory back benches are basically an open prison now.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
8 months
@RishiSunak @currys I assume that in this room of experts you asked one of them how to retrieve WhatsApp messages.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
The Saggy Trousered Misogynist.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Rishi Sunak has given advice on dealing with the heatwave; stay off the tennis court til the evening, lower the temperature of the swimming pool, crank up the air-con (but be mindful of the cost guys!), allow staff some time in the shade, keep cool water on hand for your chef.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
The working class hero, the Queen of our Hearts, the gammon slayer, the scum rinser, the only reason to vote Labour, the right wing journo confuser, the ginger Gandhi, the greatest living Briton. Angela fucking Rayner!
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
4 months
Desmond Swayne looks like a serial killer from the 1970s who got away with it by hiding in plain sight as Showaddywaddy’s bass player.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Ed Milliband ruling out nationalising the big 6 energy companies. The public are behind it, why are they being so cautious? Genuinely baffled by this.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
Such a wonderful vision of the UK we are showing the world. Pissing down, horse shit everywhere, a truckload of shamed former and current Prime Ministers with criminal records showing up and a King bringing along his former mistress.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
@NadineDorries @BBC Should they still be getting paid for not contributing like you are though?
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Shall be in central London today. If any news reporter sticks a mike in my face I shall start a story with 'well, I met Prince Andrew when I was a teenager...' and enjoy seeing the terror on their face.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Rishi fever on my train this morning. All anyone is talking about. I bloke got on and shouted ‘Raab’ is back!’ then ran down the carriage high fiving us all. The chants for Gavin Williamson and James Cleverley lasted all the way to Victoria. A minutes silence for JRM at the end.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
We're going to have the worlds first beach made from sweetcorn soon aren't we.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
The finest minds from GBNews and TalkTv come together.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
6 months
Johnson got the big calls right. Except for delaying the 1st 2nd and 3rd lockdowns, not sacking Hancock, having parties, allowing eat out to help out, not going to COBRA meetings, not believing/understanding statistics or the science and using a hairdryer to blow away Covid.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Kwasi talking about 'upskilling' our workforce. Funny how our citizens become unskilled every time the Tories are in power. Unemployment is all own fault apparently.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
Jonathan Gullis.The caveman who invented fire just to light his farts, the president of the flat moon society, looks like someone who would vote for him, an empty gorilla suit, a man who grew on a beard, a genetically modified rock, evolved from one of Enoch Powell's sweaty socks
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
Peter Bone has been offered the GBNews breakfast show. Wake Up with Boner.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
I ordered two halves of whine.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
Not sure what's more shocking. Blackmail in clear view or the fact there's even more embarrassing things about Gullis that we've not seen.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
We can send a rocket into space but we can’t feed our poor…oh we can’t send a rocket into space either.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
GBNews will be heading up to Scotland as soon as Tom Harwood finds Balamory on the map.
39
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919
@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 year
The government has announced that your 5-a-day can now include individual peas, wine gums and Herbal Essences shampoo.
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24
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
5 months
300 metres away from you. Mainly because of a restraining order.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 month
Chris Philp. Out of his depth in a fish tank, a stupid person's idea of a stupid person, a haunted suit, evolved from one of Gavin Williamson's farts, a month of Remembrance Sundays, a VHS of Caddyshack 2 which hasn't been rewound, a startled monkfish...
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
3 months
Ben Habib, Nigel Farage, Rishi Sunak, Richard Tice. No one likes you, everyone thinks you're useless so just fuck off, do posh twat things and stay out of our lives.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
9 days
Lee Anderson looks like a bloke from a 1985 ep of Bullseye knocked out in the first round after not being able to spell access, not knowing the capital of Sweden and guessing Noel Edmonds when it was George Michael in the picture round after his partner got 180 every time.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 months
‘Ich bin ein Gammoner’.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
2 years
Fans of the 'edgy' Ricky Gervais crying over a tiny bit of criticism from Stewart Lee and not realising why that's ironic tells you exactly why the shitty After Life was such a success.
53
32
821
@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
1 month
The Met. Police are going to arrest the black horse aren’t they.
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@LoxyFlo
Florence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
19 days
Ha! Let’s see how like it now the tables have turned.
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