Kaitlin Ruiz @Kaitlin_M_Ruiz Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

12,030

Followers

1,800

Following

5,132

Media

87,423

Statuses

I have a zest for despair • kaitlinruiz on bsky • kaitlin_ruiz on insta • steady on old girl

[email protected]

https://t.co/ax1MJSQIrw

Joined November 2013

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

3 months

hey friends, you no longer need an invitation to attend the ball (i.e. that one social network with a butterfly logo). maintaining this account for the time being purely as an archive; you can catch me on bsky, or get it touch via email (in bio). cheers, all.

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

for years my dad has argued that what the world needs is “the travel taco” i.e. a taco with sealed edges to keep all the filling from falling out while you’re on the move. and for years my mom has patiently explained the concept of burritos.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

once I asked my parents if they had any ghost stories, and my mom was like "well, we used to live in a farmhouse with a faucet that always leaked." and then my dad said "one time I saw the devil"

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

9 months

when I was in college I took Intro to Philosophy with this guy named Elliot who was often surrounded by girls, and like three weeks into the term the prof asked if they were enrolled in the course and Elliot, clarifying, said "no they are my guests"

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

remember how fast they worked when people stood outside Kavanaugh’s house with cardboard

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

the way people hate their daughters is so fucking sad

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

a man set himself aflame in front of the Supreme Court earlier this year.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

remember when that lady complained about how her son was in the navy and he couldn't get any dates because of feminism and then the son got on twitter to say "mom, that is not true"

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

9 months

what made it so funny was that the girls were active participants in class! they were so into it! and you could see our professor's expressions speedrunning from enthusiasm to bafflement as the semester wore on.

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

11 months

my childhood priest got suckered into taking holy orders because when he was a boy an old lady blessed him in front of a multitude before proclaiming "he will be a priest" and unfortunately that lady was mother teresa

@DavidLarter

David B. Larter

11 months

There is a lot going on there

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my favorite part of the Easter story is that Mary Magdalene shows up to the tomb and mistakes Jesus for a gardener, implying that after the resurrection he was just sort of messing around with plants and things until everyone else got there

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

9 months

he would go around inviting girls to sit in on our class, but we had very limited seating in that room, so eventually a "no guests" policy had to be enacted

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

9 months

mid-way through the term our prof announced that we needed to sign our given names on the attendance sheet, otherwise we'd get no credit. Elliot yelled "oh my god, Jeff [our prof], I need to talk to you" and it came out that he'd been signing in as "Ebola" instead of "Elliot"

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

9 months

this was Elliot, he would also scold our prof for not grading my papers more quickly

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

5 years

Shoutout to the guy from freshman year who could never get my name right and instead called me THE PHILOSOPHER, loudly, down the corridors, across campus, during class.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad is the guy who leans across the table and says “so tell me, what’s the worst part of eating a taco?” at dinner parties

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my abuela shared a house with a ghost one summer. he lived in the fireplace; she got a picture with him.

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

anyway my dad is a prince and I love him

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

any adult who thinks it's ok to treat teenaged girls with disdain is telling you a lot about their own character (rotten!)

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

so it’s becoming necessary to mention that my dad is Mexican and yes he does know what empanadas are

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

once my dad, weary of bearing ridicule from his own house, consulted my abuela: “Ma, what would you call a taco with the edges crimped?” and this woman, dignified in her eighties, said “son, that’s a burrito.”

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad can spend ten minutes enumerating the travel taco’s many charms but as soon as you ask “so a burrito?” he shuts down

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

people are asking “how is this different from a burrito?” it’s not

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

to all the people replying that their grandpa saw / fought a werewolf: can you say more about that

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

I just don't get how anyone can grow up and look back on their adolescent girlhood--when everything is cramped and confusing and too much, when your body itself abandons stoicism--and go on about how teen girls are emotional vampires

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad’s thing is “what if there was a taco you could hold while you drive?” he thinks this is revolutionary, idk what to tell you

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

9 months

@Ntombi this is a really funny image, but no, he was a basketball player in the full bloom of health

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

being a teenaged girl means that you've been cut off from any charity childhood might've granted you. all your intentions, your growth spurts, your failures are now read as malicious.

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

8 months

one time my grandma hosted a nun named Sister Peggy who taught English in Bolivia, and we were all like "this is good for Grandma, she can learn from this holy woman." and then when we phoned to ask how things were going, my grandma said "Sister and I are watching Shrek 2"

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

thank you for all the love for my dad, I also think he is great. here he is with Moses, a firehouse dog.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

the town square in Gilmore Girls is quaint as each season dictates: long summers and painterly falls, winters relieved by blossom-clotted spring. and that is where Taylor Doose holds The Lottery.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

also my family is from South Texas, typically when we’re making tacos it’s with a soft tortilla (not a hard shell)

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

a man of sorrows

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

girls are up against so much. please be good to your daughters.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

now that my dad has supporters I would like to take a moment to extend empathy to my mother

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

anyway here’s more Roberto

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

I just think it's kind of wild that "we must ensure teen boys aren't alienated so they don't shoot up a school" is somehow common sense alongside "teen girls are so needy and demanding"

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

for those up on Roberto lore, he also dreams of getting into salt

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad is looking for a business partner, by which he means a wealthy benefactor, to back his dream of “see salt,” that is, colored salt

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

frito pie is not a taco!!

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

also he’s in the market for turtles

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

I love my dad so much, sometimes he just sort of sighs and says “you know what I’d like to see out there? a yard full of turtles.”

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

I love that my dad is actively trying to promote this idea to my mom and brother.... the grind never stops

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

5 years

Shoutout to the guy from freshman year who could never get my name right and instead called me THE PHILOSOPHER, loudly, down the corridors, across campus, during class.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

there's not any meaningful difference between this stuff and the creeps who fetishize young girls.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my mom said “too bad Larry King’s not around anymore to talk with you about this” and my dad responded “I’d be okay with Lester Holt”

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

never forget that what they hold sacred is power. nothing else.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

@SarahECozart Sarah, he turned it into "and that's when I realized that it's good to turn off the TV and pray" 😭

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

UPDATE ( @Harriet_Vane_ )

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

everyone who’s skeeved about taylor swift releasing music about an ex..... have u not read anything from lord byron

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

I was a pretty moody and withdrawn kid, and by thirteen I'd just burst into tears out of nowhere. one time, standing at the kitchen counter, I started crying without prelude. my grandpa, baffled, put his arm around me and said "poor girl," over and over till I was done.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad isn’t on social media so his version of “off the record” is “please don’t put this on Pinterest”

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

@elizavetaka @singingsox there's a difference between "oh wow, I'm pretty exhausted by this whole parenting thing!" and "my daughters are maliciously difficult." the first is a normal human reaction. don't think this is hard to understand. ta.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

(pre-pandemic, we look uncomfortable because we are at a dying outlet mall)

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

vindication

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

I think about that all the time. he didn't know what was going on--and neither did I, really. but he was willing to care.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

his ways are not our ways

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my mom is brainstorming a side hustle from her greenhouse called “Succs 4 U” and my dad—never good with names—keeps wresting it into increasingly offensive configurations

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

really hard for those outside of Texas to understand the structural obstacles to progress. it's not that Texans don't care; it's that our system is one of hostile architecture.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

I felt so bad for him

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‘This is MY son’: Navy vet horrified as mom’s tweet miscasts him as #HimToo poster boy — and goes...

A proud Navy mom accidentally turned her son into a viral Twitter meme while he was taking a college exam.

www.washingtonpost.com

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

there is no working prototype for the travel taco at present.... it is a platonic ideal

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

so it’s not going to his head at all

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad realizes he has made a ripple online because my brother’s co-worker saw the tweet and immediately phoned him

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

11 months

when you're a kid, you get used to old ladies issuing proclamations regarding your future; just comes with the territory. but every now and then one of them gets sainted, and everything gets real dicey.

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

quick clarification: the travel taco relies on a soft flour tortilla (not fried). it is not deconstructed (à la Frito pie, or so-called “walking tacos”). it is the elegant solution for the commuter with a refined palate.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my mom wanted everyone to see this but my dad says it’s an unflattering photo and that my mom intentionally wants him to look unappealing.... fame is a destructive force

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

5 years

Honestly this guy was my greatest advocate, a couple of times he chastised our prof for not grading my papers more quickly? (I did not ask him to do this, I felt very bad!!)

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

she posted his picture and everything!

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

I love that everyone from Mexico and Ireland is like "yeah, your father did in fact see the devil."

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

the deets

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

it’s still not an empanada

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

to the people mad because I don't have kids: do you understand that daughters aren't a type of exotic pet? having children is not a prerequisite to empathy.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

also: the travel taco is not a papusa!!

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

it’s really hard to read the gospels and not see that women are the real heroes among christ’s followers. mary, confronted with the empty tomb, assumes grave robbers have dragged off the body for sport. and her first impulse is to say, i’ll get him back here safe and sound.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

I can’t really keep up with this all that well, but I am glad hearing about my dad has improved the general vibe!!

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

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@madehrselfqueen

Christina (Taylor's Version)

@madehrselfqueen

1 year

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz This study literally only came out two months ago, they cannot be fucking serious.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

11 months

i move through life with a very "mother teresa is a drag" sort of attitude

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

3 years

it’s raining men... just one man... his name is icarus

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

contender for greatest ever post

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my brother is sending him screenshots lol

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

3 years

this is making the rounds, so for folks unfamiliar with John Crist: his brand of relatable, sanctified comedy is a front for repeated sexual misconduct against women. he’s spent this year trying to make a comeback. don’t give it to him.

@johnbcrist

John Crist

3 years

What restaurant did you think was nice as a kid but when you became an adult realized it wasn’t that nice?...

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

again: girlhood is not essentially brokenness. vilifying noncompliant daughters is just another kind of victim-blaming. if you feel entitled to resentment against children because of your role as a parent and care-giver: you have a problem, and it's not your kid.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

for those asking about the therapist involved: I don't have any connection to them or OP, so I can't direct you to any resources / licensing board, etc. for those responding with variations of "well, actually--," I defer to David Lynch: fix your heart.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

also you can tell he staying humble because he just announced “well, the only other person I would like to brainstorm with is John Mulaney”

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

"haha! you have not given birth!" is not the gotcha you think it is

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

Mom reports from the homefront:

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

once again: I am not interested in arguing with anyone who thinks this is a normal / valid way of conceptualizing and addressing children. please take your ickiness someplace else.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

“Can you imagine being on fire and not screaming?”

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Outside the Supreme Court, a life of purpose and pain ends in flames

Wynn Bruce, whose life was shaped by a devastating car accident and Buddhism, set himself on fire on Earth Day in what his father and others believe was a protest against climate change.

www.washingtonpost.com

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

characterizing children as psychologically rapacious isn't how you protect boundaries. it is not excusable practice.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad said he is going to create his own brand of scientology now

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

he was nervy enough to burn all at once. our courts prefer the slow conflagration.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

“his intentions remain unclear.” you’ve just got smoke in your eyes.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

tried to get to most of the replies, though I'll doubtless miss some. sending love to the girls--current, former, somewhere-in-between--with scuffs. here's Bergamot.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

sorry for not being able to field all the replies! my phone has crashed three times. my dad says he is happy to adopt grown children as long as they have a sense of humor

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

@MarthaKelly3 I was like, what did you do?? and he said "I locked all the doors and turned off the TV and prayed the rosary"

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

11 months

they met again, years later, when he was a man of the cloth; the photo has them in profile, a large man and a trench knife in a serviette. he's slouching, solicitous--and, i imagine, worrying about what she'll say this time.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my mom: “your dad said ‘kaitlin has probably posted things a lot more profound,’ meaning this is profound”

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

if you have trouble with the link: here, by Andrea Cohen.

Tweet media one

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

3 years

when i was a kid the greatest threat to christianity was the da vinci code

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my brother: “dude, you’re a man of the people now”

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

ok now my dad is on speakerphone dictating things to my mom to dictate to me to tweet

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

@TheHalfway3 like conceptually, i know that many girls get their first round of misogyny from mom. but seeing it hurts so much.

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Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

2 years

my dad is looking for a business partner, by which he means a wealthy benefactor, to back his dream of “see salt,” that is, colored salt

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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

Kaitlin Ruiz

@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz

1 year

if your impulse is to say "it's not that serious," I'm going to remind you that you are goofy

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