Justine Stafford @JustineStafford Twitter profile

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Justine Stafford

2 years

I wrote this sketch for last nights episode of #NWIN . It’s one I’ve wanted to make for a long time now and I hope you like it.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

7 years

Now she's falling asleep, and I'm calling a crab.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

Gordon Ramsay but he’s not cooking.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 months

Accidentally starred in the start of a rom com tonight.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 months

You’re telling me this Oliver lad in Saltburn could drink his mates bath water and eat a lady’s menses but he draws the line at a runny egg?

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

Warning: Upsetting Content.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

Pretty much everyone right now.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

when a barista pees

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

1 year

tried nigellas recipe to cook the ham in coke and now the whole family is chewing the jaw off themselves

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

a six foot box a foot for every county

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

6 years

@kassyapple Irish Version. 🇮🇪

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 months

My mother just informed me the priest prayed for Jürgen Klopp at mass tonight.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

hand sanitizer in nightclubs is going to be risky before fingering but very useful afterwards

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

This Halloween I am; A Baby Guinness.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

taking annual leave in 2020

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 months

Harry Potter and

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

Can’t decide if this is the grimmest or best tattoo I’ve ever seen.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

@weetabix Found the best way to serve it

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

Ireland wouldn’t be fond of lifting restrictions, but when we go at it we do go at it awful and very hard.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

My dad just sent me this. This is the first video message he has ever sent me.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

Are you even from rural Ireland if some lad didn’t come to your door and sell you a framed aerial picture of your house?

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

The real case they need to investigate. #LineOfDuty

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

There should be a ‘Skip Intro’ button for when your mam’s explaining how you should know the person she’s talking about

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

I mean...

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

[Will-i-am’s lazy brother] Will-i-fuck

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

That Hastings is one tough interrogator. #LineOfDuty

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

IS THERE A DOCTOR ON BOARD?! cork person: i’m from cork

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

me at 3am talking to the taxi driver on the way home

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

Will cancelling the Leaving Cert affect Leaving Cert weather?

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

6 years

VIRAL STORM NEWS IN IRELAND: 2010: The man who slipped on the ice. 2015: ‘You wouldn’t be long getting frostbit!’ 2016: ‘Don’t make unnecessary journeys!’ 2017: Weatherman’s umbrella blows away. 2018: Bread. #BeastFromTheEast

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

1 year

The Banshee Bones of Inisherin

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

It’s uncanny #LateLateToyShow

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

1 year

Can’t wait for 3am at the Oscars when the Irish get everyone on the floor for Rock the Boat

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

looking at apartments to rent in dublin again (god help me) and now bedrooms that are not in the same room as the kitchen are being advertised as “contains separate bedroom!” as if this is some kind of luxury feature to not sleep beside your oven. fuck this absolute shit.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

6 years

TEMPERATURE RISES ABOVE 14°C IN IRELAND: • Drinking Cans on any outdoor surface • Ice Cream Cone shortages nationwide • Topless men on all streets • “Costa Del Ireland” posts across social media • Farmers tan sightings emerge • Country’s Depression cured

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

This photo came up on my FB memories. It was taken 6 years ago today. 12 hours after this was taken, was my first overdose attempt. This person looks happy. They don’t look suicidal. But I was. Suicidal thoughts do not have “a look”.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

I say we scrap Valentine’s Day and have two Pancake Days instead

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

so thoughtful of my doctor to send a christmas card

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

Priorities at EP today... Bigger crowd than main stage. #EP19

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

When someone shows you a video on their phone and you’re trying to ignore the messages they’re being sent

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

1 year

I respect Jack. He beats to his own drum and he’ll go to Disneyland when he god damn pleases! #LateLateToyShow

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

6 years

Son: Hey Mam, what time is the Easter Egg hunt at tomorrow? Mother: Son you’re 27. It’s for kids. Son: I’ll give them a head start like.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

My Dad’s just discovered the internet and YouTube on his phone. What enlightening new content will he search first I hear you ask?? He searched and is watching Joe Dolan’s funeral.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

1 year

Swiping on Tinder in Ireland: #LateLateToyShow

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

6 years

Between Krispy Kreme, bread shortages, diggers in Lidl, the Pope, Winning the 6 Nations, Repealing the 8th, Harry and Meghan visiting and Westlife reforming, I think the 2018 Reeling in the Years episode is going to have to be a feature-length film.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

Dressing up as a covid denier for Halloween is easy. You don’t even need a mask.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

11 months

when you shower at his for the first time and have to use his products

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

Ryan: “And why did you give her the transplant?” Scott: “I wanted to save her life.” I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS... 😭💜 #LateLateToyShow

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

“did you RISE or were you RISEN?”

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

I posted this on tiktok and a kid replied “what app did you use to make this?” App?? It’s called using a green screen and editing footage.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

1 year

@macygilliam

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

These solutions are like something I wrote in my CSPE exam when I was 14. He’s honestly one step away from suggesting “design a poster to raise awareness in your area.”

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

10 months

that one fella at a funeral no one seems to know

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

To all the best friends i won’t get to make while drunk in the girls toilets this holiday season; I love you, you’re beautiful and dump him he doesn’t deserve you x

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

How is anyone meant to compete with this type of content? HOW?

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

A story in two halves. 🇮🇪

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

my plans the delta variant

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

Sunday morning at EP

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

Stephen Donnelly interviews himself about trampolines ahead of Storm Barra

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

well at least buy me a drink first tesco

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

This has made the debate a lot more watchable tbh. #GE2020 #CBLive

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

a dad who’s never there to help elongate irish words is an absent fada

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

7 years

Told my friend to watch out for tent thieves at #EP2017 and he just asked what stage they're playing.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

How it started How it ended

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

my ear was v sore today so I went to the chemist and they suggested using olive oil drops so I replied “sure i might throw a few croutons in as well!” to which the chemist said “obviously don’t do that.” and a part of me died wondering if they thought I was being serious.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

Happy #NationalBoyfriendDay

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

my dog when i get back from a walk on my own

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

When you open your exam paper and the one poet you studied is on it.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

tadpole girl for agriculture minister

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

I enjoyed making this video for work today. #GE2020

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

11 months

My first and last bikini wax

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

Back on sertraline today after being off it for over a year. I’m glad I reached out and admitted I wasn’t feeling well though. Please don’t feel afraid to do the same if you are struggling. This year has been extra tough on us all.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

The Office theme tune performed on office items:

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

Can’t believe Megan Fox is in Dublin and we don’t even have a white water rafting facility for her to use. This city is a joke.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

How is this meant to help when they do it in movies?

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

Yes it’s Pancake Tuesday and yes I am posting this sacrelicious meme I made a few years ago again. Happy Pancake Tuesday!

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

Has anyone tried putting Sudocream on Britain?

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

And my costume for night two (that I can more safely wear out in public); The GAA Catfish.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

PLEASE don’t accept money from your granny if she tries giving it to you in secret. Your granny is involved in money laundering and trying to hide evidence. This is why she pleads “don’t tell your mother” while passing it to you. Be safe, be vigilant and notify the guards.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

@sarahcpr Fixed it.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

11 months

Heard someone describe a lad carrying two pints of Heineken as “The Leinster Handcuffs” and it might be my new favourite piece of poetry.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 months

Me: Can we get bread? Mam: We have bread at home. Me: But we don’t have the LIMITED EDITION St. Patrick’s Day bread at home!!

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

No ad was more terrifying in the cinema as a child.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I wanted to reshare this thread for it. #WSPD2020

Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

5 years

This photo came up on my FB memories. It was taken 6 years ago today. 12 hours after this was taken, was my first overdose attempt. This person looks happy. They don’t look suicidal. But I was. Suicidal thoughts do not have “a look”.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

9 months

Oh the struggle has been real today lads.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

2 years

can’t believe they cut my scene from the new spiderman

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

3 years

Idk who needs to hear this but if someone says they’re not drinking; just accept that. Stop asking why or try to change their mind because that says everything about you and NOTHING about them. You’re a dickhead if you try to guilt people or change their minds. So stop.

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Justine Stafford

@JustineStafford

4 years

Found out today that JLS had branded Durex condoms so I decided to make some Irish ones.