#ProfileK
is out this Thursday 25 April. Goodreaders reviewers said "Dear Helen Fields, You are a badass!" "Pure genius" "Incredible! What a read" & "A more than 5 star read!" So pre-order if you want it on launch day, see my fb feed if you'd like to buy a signed & personalised…
Teenage boys often get a bad press, but I just walked in to a raucous kitchen with my son and his mates, who had nothing to do this evening, following a recipe for cornflake covered chicken, and having the time of their lives (they all consented to the pic going on Twitter!)
I’ve read 3 badly written celebrity fiction books recently. 3 books that wouldn’t have got a publishing deal but for the name on the cover.That’s 3 advances that could have gone to real writers who could have done something amazing. 3 books so bad the editor couldn’t save them 🙁
I'm looking at the single best looking male face you've come across (it's for a thing) & want to get a feel for common perception (I've looked at the science). Could you post a single image here of the best looking male IYO, absolutely no limits on age etc. RT if you don't mind?
Anyone feeling embarrassed, take heart. Oldest son went to a perfume store & was handed a paper cup of coffee beans to cleanse sense of smell. Confused,he knocked them back & stood chewing the whole lot for a few minutes to the shop assistant’s horror. He’s mortified. Bless him🤣
Me at home: I can skip breakfast. I’ll fast until noon. My self discipline is legend. Me at a hotel: I’ve paid for it, so I’d best have a full English, the fruit platter, toast, a selection of pastries, and steal a few mini Nutella cartons for the way home.
A 🧵 about the court case my 18yo son attended as victim. It was a sentencing with reporting restrictions so no details or names here. Son attended Portsmouth Cr Ct at 1.30 for a 2pm start. The court staff were helpful & supportive. The hearing took place over a 2 hour period.
Never, ever decide to spring clean your 17 year old son’s room including cupboards and drawers while he is away for the weekend, without giving him a chance to go through his things first. Just. Don’t. Ever.
I’ll be on Times Radio at 2.30pm today talking about the barrister strikes. It’s a much wider reaching issue than most people realise. Have a listen if you’ve got a spare 5 minutes.
For goodness sake...very elderly neighbour has an emergency services alert buzzer on his wrist. Falls to the floor at 9pm last night, can't get up. Presses buzzer. Hears emergency services phoning him to ask what's up. Presses again as he can't reach the phone. And on. And on. We…
I've read a couple of shockingly poor so-called lead titles recently.Much better books getting little or no publicity budget applied to them.Word of mouth is so important to writers.If you find a book you love,please readers,shout about it from the rafters. YOU are the publicity
Want to know why so many authors on Twitter are up in arms about ghost-written celeb novels today? Well, that's because it cheapens the real work. It's neopbaby stuff, being given something not earned then glorified for it. Imagine a celeb on Last Night of the Proms...cont
Home from hols. 18yo son has cleaned house from top to bottom and restocked fridge, done the washing, kept the plants alive, opened the post, and made sure my favorite yoghurt is here. For anyone tearing their hair out during the teenage years, it actually does get better ❤️❤️❤️
It goes to doing justice intelligently and kindly. My son is more determined than ever to join the
#CriminalBar
, in spite of low pay and long hours, and my telling him not to! He was inspired yesterday. Take heart
@TheCriminalBar
. For all the pain, your members are outstanding.
We’ve bought a new house, and this is the view from the upper sun deck, and I’ve wanted a house on a river for as long as I can remember! So, yes, very happy today 😃
OMG I just gave husband all his Father’s Day gifts and took him out to a big family breakfast a week early! We spent the whole morning talking about what a great dad he is etc. just realised I was a week too soon. We are all crying with laughter.
Apologies for posting a “look at me” tweet but my hairdresser (Megan
@buzbyandblue
) just did my hair for some photos I’m having taken for publicity tomorrow and oh my God…😍
I wish the world would ban online gambling. It has literally no purpose except causing easy immediate uncontrollable addiction & ripping money from pockets. I get enraged every time I see one of their stupid adverts. For me as an industry it’s right up there with dealing drugs.
One of the issues we need to address re the
#RussellBrand
allegations is why women feel safer telling their stories to journalists than they do with the prospect of going to court. People saying Brand shouldn’t be convicted in the court of public opinion are right. However🧵
My husband ran into a smoking car through the only working door after a bad crash yesterday & stayed there until he’d freed the elderly driver in spite of everyone yelling to get out. Then he got in his car & left without giving anyone his name. People, he vacuums & he’s a hero!
Huge sigh of relief that I no longer have to keep this secret. Thank you
@AvonBooksUK
and
@LittleHardman
for putting up with me, and for signing up to even more years of my chaos!
We are absolutely thrilled to have signed
@Helen_Fields
for a further three books. 🥳
And 🥁 *drum roll please* 🥁 to publish her incredible stories in hardback for the first time!
Great things are coming.
Next
#competition
! For a chance to win a signed copy of
#PerfectSilence
follow & comment by 12 noon, 20 August '21. Winner picked by random draw & notified here. Open worldwide. Winner can request that the book be sent to you, a friend or donated to a
#library
#Win
#BookTwitter
That awful,ancient phrase "write what you know" still crops up in writing advice. Here's my take for anyone trying to get published. It's bull. So...Write what sets you on fire. Write what melts you.Write the stuff your nightmares are made of. Write with your tears and your guts.
Listen, I know there are more important things happening in the world, but sucking this tiny little bit of joy out of it really wasn’t necessary. (And don’t @ me if you don’t like them, you know not what you say.)
One locked ward.
One impossible murder.
Five criminally insane killers.
To beat them, she’ll have to join them in…
#TheInstitution
We are thrilled to share the cover for
#TheInstitution
Hardback by
@Helen_Fields
Publishing 2/3/23
Pre-order now:
A 🧵 about the business end of
#writing
, not aimed at any particular
#publisher
, but the industry as a whole, and specifically looking at how we, as writers, treat ourselves and allow ourselves to be treated. This applies whether you’re a full time writer or still have a day job.
Would just like to say a big thank you to the person who left
#TheShadowMan
a 2 star review because of "the quality of the paper" and size of the print, but did add at the end, "Shame, because she's a really good writer." 🤣🤣🤣
@jaketapper
This is the problem with a leader who did not spend his life in public service. Everyone who does not "work for you" is a competitor and therefore the enemy. It has become a red versus blue corporate war, nothing more, for POTUS. He has never been able to rise higher.
#TheShadowMan
competition! For a chance to win this gorgeous bookmark, simply like this tweet & follow me. Ends 24 June at 12 noon GMT. Can send worldwide. Entrants will be drawn from a hat & winner notified here. Good luck!
@HardmanSwainson
@LittleHardman
@AvonBooksUK
Trying to find anything I'm qualified to do to spread an iota of joy for the next week & realizing my USP is probably Luc & Ava. If 50 people give this a like to say they're interested, I'll spend tomorrow writing a Luc/Ava/Natasha Xmas short story & post on my website by 24th.
You don't have to have children to be a
#mother
. Women are amazing. They mother their parents as they grow older, their friends when they need it, their friends' children when there is a rift, their colleagues when there is division & themselves when they are in pain. Happy…
It was the criminal justice system and court working at its absolute finest. Time, care, attention, preparation, decency. Victim focused but defendant aware. Amazing judge and counsel. I cannot praise all involved highly enough. So if you want to know where your tax money goes…
@StephenKing
I think the most hopeful thing I've read in a long time is that
@StephenKing
still checks the bestsellers list, proving that readers still matter, getting books out there still matters, knowing your work is being read still matters, however successful you are.
Some notes on being a "mid-list" author and on coping with the endless social media that can make you feel irrelevant, bypassed, unseen or just not good enough. The first thing to do is recognise that most writers don't get long listed, short-listed or win awards. It's the norm.
Congratulations to the four successful candidates in this year's Management Committee elections -
@Helen_Fields
,
@nadinematheson
, Nikesh Shukla and
@JCCWilliams
will take their seats on the SoA board after the AGM on 16 November.
Any
#Perfect
fans out there? Thrilled to confirm that Luc Callanach & Ava Turner will be back on the page 17/2/2022 with their next adventure. Very excited - new title, new cover & it'll be a standalone - but if you love the MIT squad, Lively, Tripp & Overbeck will be back.
Have it your way. YES, I wrote Bridget Jones diary. Please do send me your endless emails, fan fiction, requests for more books and questions about the characters. Just know that in my version,the characters end up dying horribly (but there’s a really good looking French bloke)
Lots of people posting Thierry Henri, Idris Elba, Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy & Jason Momoa, but a couple of front runners are Paul Newman & Robert Redford. Beauty seems to be timeless & universal.
I no longer have FOMO but only FOSO - Fear of Speaking Out. The divisions, threats, cancellation, nastiness, career damage. It's unspeakable - literally. Where did intelligent, calm debate go? Where did mature learning go? What happened to a world where it was important to hear…
My new book:
Luc Callanach- gorgeous but broken French detective
DCI Ava Turner- kickass but closed off
DS Lively- never knowingly not a smartass
Sup't Overbeck- awful but irresistible
Dr Connie Woolwine- profiler,blunt.
Quinn. Sweet,kind,wronged.
You're going to read it,right?
Is crime publishing too hung up on the "amazing twist" at the expense of great writing and layered characterisations? What do we think? Never want to read another blurb with the words "[insert superlative] twist".
#amwriting
I had dinner with 5 girlfriends last night. It's taken a while to make close friends living in a new country, but last night was lovely. At the end, we decided to start a book club (with benefits - dinner, wine, endless laughter). And just like that I felt like I belonged here.
Loved
@jaketapper
's
#TheHellfireClub
It's gritty, layered, intense & intelligent. Tapper may suffer from readers expecting to hear his political voice through the narrative,but he's been brave & bold,switching that off & morphing seamlessly into a great crime writer. Recommended.
What in god's name is going on with women's eyebrows these days? Does no one look in the mirror and realise they look like a four year old just grabbed a bloody great marker pen and coloured them in?
Thanks for all the public support and private messages while I've been waiting for some hospital tests. Finally got seen today and thrilled to report there's nothing scary. Just wanted to say thank you. The Twitter community really is amazing. Having a few days of downtime now 😘
Husband and I have both been awake since 3am for no good reason. We’ve had a cup of tea, made some decorating decisions then had an hour long game of who can make the other laugh the most, and now I am ruined for the whole of Friday and my pillow is soaked with laughter tears!
@JodieMarsh
I have nothing but sympathy for you. Of course you don't like feminists. You're selling products that feed off women being told their bodies are the wrong shape. It must be hard to have any self-respect when you use prejudice for your own gain, but perhaps try some education.
Just had a couple of DMs about my last tweet asking why not to tag an author in a 3* review. It’s because that writer has to get up the next day and drag themself in front of a laptop to pull another thousand words out or do a structural edit. When someone has just publicly told…
So I’ve started writing a new book and it’s 1st person, set on Mull, and you know when they say my books “aren’t for the faint hearted”? Yeah, that, with bells on.
#PerfectRemains
at no. 11 in the kindle chart, nearly 3 years after it was published. I've had a tough few months & lots of heartbreak, so this is just the best news for putting a smile on my face. Thanks to everyone who has supported
#LucCallanach
&
#AvaTurner
.
Difficult decision to share this on social, and if I get trolled I’ll take it straight back down, a TW for rape/assault before you start to read, but here’s today’s Daily Mail article on my experience.
So please understand, it doesn't matter if any celebrity (not just any one of them) consults on a book, provides a basic idea, chats with the real writer a bit, or any of that. If they didn't write it, they should be FAR too ashamed to put their name on it.
#Alieisalie
Oh
#publishers
, if you genuinely want to have the shelf space available in supermarkets to promote your authors & sell their
#books
, stop commissioning endless amounts of celeb (ghost written) fiction, that’s taking up all the supermarket book shelf space.
*Sigh* Dear Netgalley reviewer who just gave my book, not even out yet, 1* because you've been unable to download it properly from Netgalley. I should not be the recipient of your protest. Please don't do this. It has an actual impact. Yours,woman banging head on desk repeatedly.
In
@GrandBrighton
hotel waiting to walk round to
@BBCsussex
. Lovely publication day breakfast with gorgeous husb. London later. Hold on…where’s the champagne?!
Won’t be around tomorrow as my baby turns 18 and the whole day will be dedicated to him. Gabriel is the most charming, funny, maddening and extreme creation of my life. Parenting is constantly terrifying. I’m not sure I’m ready to let him be a grown up ❤️
My day: 11 hr flight. Taxi from LHR. Crashes on motorway. Ambulance to hospital. NHS, paramedics & police are amazing. Doses up on painkillers. Sore but grateful to be alive. Welcome home!!!
To the complete prat who left this review on Amazon for
#PerfectPrey
- words cannot adequately express what I think of you. Have a read & please feel free to respond with reviewers for whom you have reserved a special place in hell.
It's not provocative. It's tone deaf, triggering and it's undermining the good work you're trying to do. Please, please don't just double down and get defensive. Listen to the women you're upsetting, and choose to act to make this better.
Merry Christmas one and all. Sending love, thinking of those for whom Christmas is hard, and hoping the New Year brings the world more peace, love and ease 🎄
Early reviewers are saying
#PerfectKill
is my darkest and hardest to read book yet. So I'm here to apologise in advance. It does touch on some serious subjects. But DS Lively will be there to lighten things up. Never fear.
London Book Fair can be a disheartening time for writers not expecting major translation deals or whose books aren't in 6 figure auctions. So remember that every book affects readers somewhere.Every story is equally important. Focus on your own writing, not the splashy headlines.
A little rant about
#brioche
buns. Do I want my egg and bacon roll in some sweetened bread? I do not. Do I want the extra unnecessary calories? I do not. What the hell happened to normal white bread rolls? Brioche can do one. I hate it. And that’s how my day’s going.