UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1 Twitter profile

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

the himbo community is accusing me of stolen valor

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

at long last, hamethyst

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

buying toilet paper is embarrassing, every one looks at you like, "that guy's gonna go home and wipe his ass" humiliating

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

6 months

just wait until you try black gas station coffee and a cigarette. it's gonna change you.

AMIT KALRA

@AMITNKALRA

6 months

My home girl just put me onto the greatest drink of all time u guys need to try asap

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

when my friend Ham tosses out a fuckin zinger

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

this could be us

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

surely years of abusing my body aren't catching up to me

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

i would sabotage our relationship in any lifetime

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

big day for lunatics

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

the pigeons are staging a coo

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

dumping mentos in this as fast as I can then sitting on it

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

6 months

damn girl, your discharge is so honorable

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

this is where I go to unwind

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

dating is like, here's my sad, stupid life i guess. take it or leave it.

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

14 days

(at a job interview) (creed voice) CAN YOU GET ME HIRED

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

we need a slur for the wind

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

9 months

you used to just be able to call someone your muse and then you'd both abuse substances together

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

29 days

useless garbage is on sale at the dumb fucking shit store

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

using all purpose flour for purposes never intended

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

10 months

can't believe 9/11 is only 10 days away and I still don't have a date to bring

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

the part of the butt that meets the back of the thigh has saved my life and given me hope for the future

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

9 months

getting this tattooed as a tramp stamp

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

hey girl, long time no see. you divorced yet? ha ha no worries if not

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

researching my next tattoo

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

the pickle after a sandwich is like a little kiss

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

@lnhales can't right now, busy writing letters dripping with longing for someone that will never know

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

some days you crank the hog other days, well. other days the hog cranks you

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

don't be sad that it's over, smile because it happened

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

this shit needs to stop. stop elevating food, just cook it right

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

they should make something i love that doesn't leave me

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

when i say parallel play, i mean we vape in bed and look at our phones while a movie plays in the background. hmu if you're interested. no sex stuff.

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

you're telling me this ween is hallowed?

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

trust myself? the guy that ruined my life?

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

sorry for being so out of pocket, we're a lot closer in my mind

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

found half a pack of lucky strikes on the sidewalk! this is the best day of my life

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

11 months

@DoingCigarettes so i can roll around in bed and the cable coils around my sleeping body

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

I think you'll find working in a warehouse quite palletable

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

@lemonade_grrrl he's gathering the magic

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

saving some money for a trip to the garden center, call that my hedge fund

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

pussy from a girl that life hasn't been very kind to

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

my skin is my diary, my tattoos tell my story

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

guy who became a mailman so he can walk around and pet other people's dogs and cats all day

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

@warmmoistpizza 3 major and 6 minor times

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

@FoCoVi @benedictsred you wipe your ass with pork rinds?

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

she's a 10 but she uses light mode

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

9 months

my tongue has been inside your butt, and you want to be friends? ok

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

sticker that's too good to put anywhere

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

first date idea: we run from the past

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

9 months

I need to get this tattooed, but i don't know where to put it

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

tell me are you a sad fish too

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

wish reincarnation was real so i could just reroll until i get good base stats

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

21 days

@SomeTweeter420 drinks should be bigger

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

when the abyss stares back I start blushing

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

I am perplexed

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

to be forgotten is to be free

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

a big part of having animal friends is asking them what they're doing

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

oh, you're a Methodist? name all the methods

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

@onionweigher @SojuEnjoyer69 @wxfflestomp damn you're good

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

1 month

slight of hand job

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

the wealthy these days are so boring. no grand public works projects, no beautiful architectural monuments, no parks. just nothing

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 years

@MattWallace888 I want to live in a world where no one man's opinion or tweets swings the markets. Giving Elon power by hanging on his tweets is negative to crypto as a whole.

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

jimmy Dean is not my lover

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

some of you wouldn't make it in this situation

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

oh! big stretch!

clown

@bugsquelcher

5 months

i bet it would feel good af to be in one of these contraptions

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

first date idea: i buy a bunch of heroin and go into the woods alone

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

creepy and off pudding

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

ride-a-long is pretty quiet

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

6 months

@billybrizzle420 I'm planning on dying on the clock, my pension and retirement never being touched

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

2 months

making friends with stray cats like i'm on the hisses to kisses pipeline

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

9 months

@latkedelrey "come off it"

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

1 month

frolic around and find out

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

getting bored enough to go to the grocery store for no reason

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

11 months

@smokeismedicine this intermittent fasting is looking a lot like depression

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

same guy

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

getting dressed to go smoke a cigarette

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

what if I... no no, I shouldn't even think about it

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

10 months

just another Saturday

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

bear in mind? yeah, I'm always thinking about those guys

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

on my way to hear the same small talk about the rain from everyone I see today

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

10 months

@PeetingDisorder some of the most beautiful eyes i've ever looked into were brown or hazel. so many different shades, all of them hypnotic

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

22 days

you remind me of myself (derogatory)

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

they're called ear buds because sometimes they're the only friends you got

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

what I lack in rizz, I make up for in yearn

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

1 month

I will never forget you

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

'a manic pixie dream girl, but she's a little bit country'

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

you're so pretty, do you have restless leg syndrome?

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

21 days

they should invent a kind of hanging out that costs less than 50-100 dollars

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

7 months

getting out of bed is so dumb. now my feetsies are cold! and for what?!

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

8 months

not gonna let one little awkward interaction ruin my day. I'm gonna let it ruin my whole week

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

fuck marry kill

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

hotdog Thursday, pulled pork and cheddar dogs

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

4 months

what is bro doing

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

28 days

a cross country road trip/crime spree would fix me

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

cleaning off my nightstand, i find an old receipt for a reuben sandwich. I smile and laugh to myself, remembering the good times we had.

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

@sadderlizards don't worry, the narrator is unreliable

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

1 year

as far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be monetized

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

11 days

friendship ended with dinner lunch is my best friend now

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

3 months

cathedrals, yadda yadda

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

5 months

inside you is a ford focus and a ford fiesta

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

6 months

sorry, I drank a bottle of rose and got all passionate

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UwUTangClan

@Executivejeff1

6 months

I don't want to work, I want to smoke cigarettes and bathe myself in melancholy

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