Dr Grayfang Profile
Dr Grayfang

@DrGrayfang

15,208
Followers
11
Following
6,851
Media
7,442
Statuses

Will Smith said it best, welcome to erff

United States
Joined January 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 months
People over 25 when Ludacris came out during the halftime show
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
7 years
Saw the craziest rock formation
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
9 months
Me making a margarita for breakfast
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Tips to enjoy an IPA: 1.
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
10 months
“Let’s get a table outside” me:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
treat her well this Valentine’s Day
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
On my fucking way
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Finally some realistic standards
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
*November 1st* Mariah Carey:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
6 years
Hope everyone is ready for about 3 months of this bullshit
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
Prince Charles getting up for work for the first time in 73 years
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
the hardest decision an American has to make
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 months
Me at the bar watching a frat bro in a romper pick a fight with a dude with cauliflower ears
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
5 months
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the least productive Friday of the year
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“if I stand up right when the plane lands, I can get off quicker” - these assholes
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
When that beer at lunchtime went down a little too smoothly
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
150% chance that Sean put the shrimp in Topanga’s husbands Cinnamon Toast Crunch
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
*includes piss soaked pajamas*
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“you have become the very thing that you swore to destroy!”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Yet another child star ruined by drugs and alcohol
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
7 years
*watches Fast and the Furious once*
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
if you aren’t dressed like this all weekend, get the hell out of my life
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Never forget this legend double fisting beers at 9AM supporting his wife at the Olympics
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
if Sunday night was a person
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
5 years
“Back stage passes to Area 51 for $1500 bro”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
5 months
When someone asks if I have plans for new years
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
How Twitter users look at everyone when Instagram is down
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
the entire LinkedIn community:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
this family is fucking extreme
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Remember Angelica’s doll Cynthia from Rugrats? This her now
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
1 year
Spoil her this Valentine’s Day
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Can’t believe Daft Punk broke up. Absolute legends
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
1 year
My response to anything work related in the next month
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
Russian generals that have to tell Putin a Ukrainian farmer stole their tank with a tractor
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Driving in Oregon gonna be like
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
“i hope this email finds you well” how this email found me:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Drank 10 beers for lunch. Feeling really good, best I’ve felt in 20 years! Don’t be afraid of day drinking. Don’t let work dominate your life.
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Shoutout to the parents in Christmas Story just chugging wine for breakfast
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
When that beer at lunch goes down a little too smooth
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
March 1, 2020 vs. March 1, 2021
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
The only person I want election updates from
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
*wild animals just tryna bang* National Geographic:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
How people who back into parking spaces look at everyone
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
8 months
“Have you ever tried DMT?”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
Remember the Situation? This him now
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
Everyday is a half day if you just fucking leave
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Oh look, the three worst women in the history of television
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
5 months
Tommy Devito’s agent is the most New Jersey shit ever
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
me: i’ll take the beer tower waiter: sir it’s 1030AM me:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
When you got a ton of shit to do but it’s 70 degrees in October
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Elon musk after #SplashDown
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Imagine how fucking bad this place stinks
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WITH THIS MEDICATION” me:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
*any NFL player does anything* Cris collinsworth: I’ll tell you what, I’ll leave my family for this man
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Baristas when someone orders the first pumpkin spice latte of the season
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Sometimes when I’m feeling like shit, I just remember Courteney Cox’s hair in Scream 3 to cheer me up
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
“did i leave my debit card here last night?”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Imagine owning a fucking NFL team and requesting this cut
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
1 year
Madonna looks like microwaved fergie leftovers
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
5 years
Kids that did this shit growing up are in jail right now
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Did you know the weekend starts whenever you fucking want it to?
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
OutKast: I’M SORRY MS. JACKSON me:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
There goes my hero
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“Hope this email finds you well” how it found me:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
Aaron Rodgers looks like he is here for the 5 o’clock free crack giveaway
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
“Shelter down. It’s a fucking hurricane” Florida:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
Damn, they are quick
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Everyone is talking about Bill Gates divorce but not who is getting custody of this fucking guy
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
government: work at home bartenders:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 months
The Super Bowl halftime show we deserve
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
People in Florida on the beach right now
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Italians at the Euro Championship
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
if you’re at work and see this shit coming at you, just quit
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
How dudes who drink IPAs look at everyone else
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“Certified Lover Boy fuckin slaps bro”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Me hammered at a wedding at the kids table
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Kids today will never understand what a bite of this tastes like
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
5 months
How it feels staying out late in your 30s
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Dads getting ready for all the shit they need to build and put together
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
7 months
1960s: in the future we’ll have flying cars 2023:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
A haunted house but it’s just people you haven’t talked to since high school pitching you pyramid schemes
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Behold an influencer in the wild
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Whoever did this on Spotify, thank you
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
A blue whale’s anus can stretch to approximately 3 and a 1/2 feet, making it the second largest asshole on the planet, just behind people who talk on their speakerphone in public
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
this is why i don’t fuck with Applebees
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“Influencers” after Instagram was down all day
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
1 year
America: climate change isn’t real Also America:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Ever just get an email and think “fuck this shit til next week”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
1 year
The entire hip hop Grammys performance
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
“you’ll never make it in Hollywood David!” David:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Dudes after they turn 30 picking their personality trait
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
White boy summer
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
if you’re ever feeling like shit just remember somebody woke up and chose this
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“2021 is gonna be my year” - me eating a rotisserie chicken on the toilet
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
4 years
Pro tip for cancelling your cable
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
2 years
“Tom Brady and Gisele are getting divorced!”
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
Things are looking up
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
“I’ll go out but only for one drink” 18 drinks later in my Uber:
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@DrGrayfang
Dr Grayfang
3 years
How it feels pooping on an airplane
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