Dewayne Perkins @DewaynePerkins Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Dewayne Perkins

10 months

The idea of being in somebody’s daddy’s DVD collection on a shelf in a basement is making me emotional lol. #TheBlackening is playing in theaters and now on demand. oh, and it's available Digital 8/15, and on 4K Uitra HD, Blu-ray & DVD 8/22.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

So March we meet again you raggedy bitch.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Yoooo you won’t believe what just happened to me. I was scrolling through Twitter and saw a tweet referring to something I didn’t know, and instead of replying “explain this to me.” I just googled it. And now I know what it is. Like fuck, what a rush!

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

I miss when weekends were actual weekends and not “days to finish all the work you couldn’t do during the week due to working all the time.” It’s giving “hell on earth”

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

I started playing a game with myself where every time something annoys me on Twitter I immediately get off and force myself to do a Duolingo Spanish lesson, and bitch lemme tell you voy a ser bilingüe en poco tiempo porque todos ustedes son muy molestos

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Award seasons be like “and your nominees are... White person White person White person Black person playing a slave White person

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

My fall plans The Delta Variant

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

“So if you defund police who you gone call when you’re in danger?” There are a lot of resources that explains what defunding the police means but I know some of you will “hear it better” if it came out of the mouth of someone who looks like you. So listen to John Oliver

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Working in toxic environments because at least it will help you get a “seat at the table” The seat at the table:

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

5 years

cultural impact: ███████ ███████ ███████ ███████ ███████ ███████ ███████ ███████ ███████ ______________ O’ Reily’s Auto The Star-Spangled Parts Theme Banner Song

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Me looking into the imaginary camera of life when people say and do dumb shit in front of me

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Y’all keep saying “vote” as if that system isn’t just as fucked at the police. In LA I had to wait 4 hours to vote. In Georgia people are waiting 7 to 8 hours to vote or not even getting to. There is a clear attack on our constitutional right and not enough is being done about it

Barmel Lyons

@BarmelLyonsTV

4 years

BREAKING NEWS: Voters outraged because they can’t vote. @cbs46 Voting machines are down & systems aren’t working all over #Atlanta Some people have left the polls because the line has NOT moved since 6 A.M.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

I just got an email from the government telling me to start preparing for when student loan payments start again. Aww damn, they don’t know. Somebody should tell them that student loan payments passed away when we found out the President doesn’t pay taxes.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

6 years

If you’re ever with me and someone comes up to me and starts talking and I don’t introduce you, it’s strictly because I don’t remember their name. So please feel free to be a dope person and introduce yourself so I can then hear said name and pretend I knew it the whole time.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

5 years

“Your student loan payment is late” Me:

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

White women saying goodbye to their rights as they vote for Trump

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Me: That edible wasn’t shit. *an hour later* Me:

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I didn’t talk much as a kid due to my stutter but it made me a great listener. And as I gained more control over my voice with therapy I made sure to never forget the power of silence. And personally I think some of you would learn a lot from simply shutting the fuck up sometimes

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

One killed 12 people and injured 70. The other was just existing as a black man in America. One was murdered. The other killed 12 people and injured 70 and was peacefully taken into custody, alive to this day. Defunding the police is the fucking bare minimum.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I hope some of y’all watched Pixar’s “Soul” and were inspired to make your entire personality more than just your career or job. Like you’re not just a writer or actor or whatever path you choose, you’re a whole ass person and your career is just one of the things you do.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Black people everywhere truly deserve a personal paid sabbatical the rest of the year.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Happy Juneteenth! I am my ancestors wildest dreams. EVERY part of me.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I think “quitting” had gotten such a bad reputation and I don’t know why because there isn’t a greater feeling than doing something, realizing you no longer want to do it, and then simply stopping to go find something you actually do want to do. The power!

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Why are all these white men sexually abusing white women not considered “white on white crime”? Is it because “insert race on insert race crime” isn’t a real phenomenon and is specifically only brought up to try to justify the vilification of black people? Absolutely.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

10 months

1.5 mil for a watch that looks exactly like the Phil and Lil Rugrats watch that came with the Burger King kids meal in the 90’s is nuts

Read Let This Radicalize You

@JoshuaPHilll

10 months

This is why it’s eat the rich

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

New show idea: “You Wanna Die on This Hill?” a show where I challenge people to defend an opinion they made in a tweet, if their defense is sound, they win money. But if I can prove their opinion is fucking stupid, they lose and literally die on a hill. It’s Squid Game + Ziwe.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Me to the IRS now that I know paying taxes is truly optional since the President ain’t paying them

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

There was a period of years when I was a kid that I simply REFUSED to look up how to actually play this game and I would just place flags wherever and click random boxes until I lost. For years. Then one day I looked up how to play, said “oh” and never played it again lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

5 years

My barber just asked me “what’s your team?” and I replied “Gay” and he replied “football?” to which I replied “Oh no thank you” and now neither of us knows where to go with this mess of a convo. So now we are just sitting in silence.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 year

They said “yes. I go by she/they now.” I said “I didn’t know. Cool” And then we continued talking and I referred to her as she or they or simply said their name the rest of the convo. DO YOU SEE HOW FUCKING SIMPLE THAT WAS TO SIMPLY RESPECT THE WISHES OF OTHERS???

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

I really hope this instills a “is this gone get me slapped?” fear throughout hollywood. That would actually help a ton

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

8 months

Before and after Renaissance lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Making this was legit one of the funniest moments of my day. The kids may be on to something 🤔

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 year

I saw a friend I hadn’t seen a while w/ a friend. We started chatting, I’m referring to them as “he” but then at some point I clocked their other friend refer to them as “they.” I let the convo get to an organic pause and was like “hey, did you change your pronouns?”

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

When I’m fully vaccinated and still refuse to leave my house

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

If you’re thinking about giving up on your dreams, do it, it’s the end of times baby! Dreams are for stable societies!

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I just want to move through life with the power of Oprah’s circle back skills.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

My ass after I eat beans

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

When I first started stand up a comedian told me sitting on stage is reserved for veterans with 10 years of experience or more. And that’s when I knew I was def gonna succeed at stand up because most people were ruled by stupid fucking rules with no basis in anything but ego lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

5 years

You’re a mean one Mr.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

“Release your trade” is VERY specific, Beyonce lol 👀

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

I literally think about Mariah Carey saying “Imma do the best I can with what I got” every single day.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

You remember when the black actors wanted to put on a Black Lives Matter Benefit show and you said only if we gave half of the proceeds to the Chicago PD, because I will never forget. Remember when you would make black people audition for job you simply just have to white people?

The Second City

@TheSecondCity

4 years

To say nothing is to be complicit. Black lives, stories, art, and souls matter.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

If you can impeach a President twice but nothing really changes then these “checks” aren’t really balancing shit? So what now?

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Let’s normalize asking people in positions of power “Are you fucking stupid?”

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Every day I wake up and thank God I’m not Zoe Kravitz because I would for sure have to try to fuck my stepfather. Imma probably delete this lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

My gay ass booked another straight role. I’m coming for y’all jobs. Y’all worried about the wrong gay agenda. Lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

6 months

@ambermruffin I spot “Dewayne” on the Black Santa list and honestly, it feels right.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Let this just gone head and cleanse your timeline ❤️😭❤️

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Normalize people in leadership positions actually having leadership skills.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

If I was white I would just be so embarrassed all of the time lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 year

My mother handed me a grocery bag and said “I don’t carry things when men are around.” And she did not find it nearly as funny as me when I said “girl, me neither” and let the bag hit the ground as I sassily walked away lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I’m literally gay and still don’t think about gay men as much as weird straight men on Twitter.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Rewatching Moana. @Lin_Manuel why’d you have to snap so hard on this music though? My neighbors hate me but it’s like I’m not NOT gonna belt “I AM MOANA.”

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Lil Nas X’s existence is going to literally change pop culture forever. I’m so happy he exists.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Wait, people are still legit eating 3 meals a day? That’s so weird. Everyone knows you either eat 6 or 7 small meals a day or you are so busy you only have one big meal late in the evening where you eat everything in sight. No in-between.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

I’m not a musical genius like @Lin_Manuel so I don’t think I should be giving him notes, but also I cannot sing the end of “My Shot” without adding “bitch” right on the button. It’s in the subtext, I can feel it lol.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

“America is better than this” is the new “thoughts and prayers.”

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓ ┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃ ┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃ STOP UNPLANNED FACETIME CALLS ┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃ ┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃ ┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

@Blacktress I’ve been saying “ok I’m done.” And just being ok with whatever response that garners lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

5 years

The photo on the left is a tweet I wrote in March expressing my deep love for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The photo on the right is my name outside of my office as a writer for season 7 of the show! NINE-NINE!!!

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Abuse for the sake of art is still abuse. I just feel like there’s ways to make movies or tv or any art for that matter “good” without traumatizing the people working on it.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Accidentally dropping your keys trying to open the door after a really bad day

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

Y’all think just regular ass patrol cops be out here solving murders? Hahaha, you think the people who can’t even stop beating people at the stop beating people protests are the people who SOLVE MURDERS? With the same brain? Stop it! Lmao

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Them: Hey! We should hang. Wanna grab coffee or drinks? Me: I actually don’t like coffee or alcohol. But I would love to hang, want you go to a beginners gymnastics class with me? Them: wait really? Me: 🤸‍♂️ So far 4 people have taken it with me lol. This is adulthood

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

If literal videos of dead black people unjustly murdered by cops can’t convince you police brutality is a problem, what the fuck am I gonna say to you? I’m not doing work just to find out at the end of the day you simply just hate black people. Bitch, I’m tired.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Just pitched and sold a show in a durag. Feeling very Black and successful today. ✊🏾💰

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

I feel like my middle school bully wrote my Wikipedia page lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

This might as well be Lord of the Rings cuz this is just as much fantasy to me, because ain’t no fucking way lol.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Deadline Hollywood

@DEADLINE

3 years

Workplace Sitcom ‘Chopped & Screwed’ In The Works At ABC From Phoebe Robinson & Dewayne Perkins

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

I have honestly never seen a Walmart not look this way

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

The first 15 minutes of every Disney animated movie

Timmy

@BomboTimmy

4 years

Bomboclaat

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I really enjoy that tiny extra squeeze some people add to the end of their hugs when they know you need a little extra love. A beautiful punctuation.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

My niece is selling a Girl Scout Cookies and she asked me to post this video because she thinks I’m “famous.” And I’m not, so somebody buy some cookies so she doesn’t figure out just how little influence I actually have.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

I know this is a vast oversimplification but there is absolutely too much going on. Just constant things from every angle, everywhere, all at once, all the time.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Not me coming late to the function on purpose to avoid small talk and I get here and it still ain’t started

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

My new fav bit is yelling “DEFUND THE POLICE” every time my nephew opens up a Paw Patrol toy. My family laughs. There’s a silence. And then I say “no but really they shouldn’t have access to stuff like that.” We move on. Next gift is Paw Patrol. They sigh. I do the bit again.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 year

Straight men are so fucking gay lol

Rivelino

@alpharivelino

1 year

Dominant woman. Submissive man

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 year

@PopCrave Uh Uh, get out of her purse. Nosy

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 year

I have a 264 day streak on duolingo for Spanish and really thought I was about to understand Bad Bunny’s acceptance speech. I did not. Duolingo, see you in court for wasting my time!

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

1 month

I bought a new mirror and for some reason this is immediately what I felt inclined to do

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Woke up this morning to find out I’m now an Emmy nominated writer! And with some of my best friends 😭😭😭

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

10 months

“The Blackening” is now available on digital video on demand, but its also still in theaters, so go see it in theaters while you still can! And tho my 1st press tour is over, the memories of the looks will live in in my heart and this post. Here are some of my favorite looks!

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

What exactly is CBD suppose to make me feel besides upset that it isn’t THC?

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

5 years

Happy 1st Day of Kwanzaa, Umoja! The following is a list of fake days of Kwanzaa I've tried to convince a white person exists. Quinoa Khadijah Kalé Emoji Quiché Henna See Cheezgrits Theapollo Ashanti Kekep Almer Nivea Chiwetel Ejiofor Chingy More to come.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

I rarely ever see reporters ask White celebrities about their community and the state of Whiteness and how it affects the entertainment industry at award shows? Interesting.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 months

🤎🌈

Tyllah - Little Ms. E-Mail Marketing

@MarketingBully_

11 months

What’s that picture that makes you say “wow, I’m so pretty!!” 👀👀

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Truly sick to my stomach at the expectation to be productive again tomorrow. Disgusted. Repulsed. Revolted.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 months

The Man, The Legend, The Icon 🖤

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

My dog enamored by herself. It runs in the family lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

4 years

One of the last time I called the cops I was about 6/7 and my parents were arguing. I just wanted them to stop, I’m a child. What I didn’t know was the cops would come, beat my father in front of me, and take him to jail. I just wanted my parents to stop yelling. I was a child.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

One time I got in trouble at work for tweeting “if I was white I would be so embarrassed” but like look though lol.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Brooklyn Nine-Nine was my first narrative writing job. I’m grateful to have written on the last two seasons and looking forward to the last season, in which I got to co-wrote the season premiere, to air in the fall.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

4 out of 5 winners of “the Masked Singer/Dancer” are Black. It’s almost like when race can’t be used against you Black people succeed more. Who would have thought? Lol

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

3 years

Betsy DeVos has resigned. Yea resigned to being a rich raggedy stupid bitch who was useless and harmful to education.

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

2 years

I’m envious of people who are earnestly affected by positive affirmations because them words don’t be doing shit for me. It’s just like I’m reading an ad for a product not available in my area

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Dewayne Perkins

@DewaynePerkins

7 months

No one texts me: Sad More than one person texts me: Overwhelmed

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