Chris Hewitt @ChrisHewitt Twitter profile

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Chris Hewitt

3 years

And if you don't subscribe, and you fancy it, you can sign up here. It's just £2.99 a month, or £32.99 a year, which is better than a kick in the nethers. And cheaper, too. I usually pay £10-20 for someone to kick my nethers.

Empire | Buy

empire.supportingcast.fm

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@EAHADnews

@Deichi72

@GHS

@alina_polyakova

@YaPEIM_Official

@GodKingFola

@exlurker

@TheMotherloadHQ

@JamelHerring

@loenalla

@cherryhealey

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@chiarapack

Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Autocorrect just changed Jesus Christ to Jesus Heist and now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go off to write the biggest movie of 2021.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

This is such a haunting photo. Whatever you think about Thanos’ record as overlord of the universe, it's impossible not to feel sorry for him as a person.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 months

I just found out about recency bias, and I’d have to say that out of all the biases, it’s my favourite.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

1 year

Fully agreed. Daniel Craig did five Bond films and never wore anything as iconic as Benoit Blanc’s swimsuit in Glass Onion. It’s his equivalent of Roger Moore’s safari suit.

Nick Murphy

@nickmurftweets

1 year

Jenny Eagan’s costumes for Glass Onion are absolutely fucking brilliant. That is all, please go about your business.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Dear @sainsburys — I will feel so much safer shopping in your stores now I know there’s no chance of bumping into Laurence Fox. Thank you. Yours, a loyal customer

Mitten d'Amour

@MittenDAmour

4 years

Coast is clear guys. 👍🏻

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

9 months

Is this 30 Rock's greatest gag?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

10 months

A lot of people are clearly worried about this latest announcement from Elon Musk, and how it will impact their Twitter experience. Well, allow me to explain in this handy thread. 1/601

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

I did not know that. Largely because none of this was actually explained in the fucking movie.

Star Wars Holocron

@sw_holocron

4 years

Did you know? The Sith Eternal fleet seen in #StarWars : #TheRiseofSkywalker was created by Sith cultists on Exegol, who indoctrinated Exegol’s population with Sith values and raised and trained their children to become officers, mechanics and soldiers for the Final Order

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Delighted to announce that I’m forming a new political party: The Nigel Farage Can Fuck Right Off Party. Our policies: * Nigel Farage can fuck right off. * That’s it. Vote for me.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

You couldn’t make The Godfather today. It’s almost midnight, and making films takes ages.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

Gizmodo

@Gizmodo

2 years

Thor: Love and Thunder End Credits, Explained

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

1 year

I studied film at university. Every tutor, bar one, loathed Spielberg. A housemate of mine wrote his dissertation on Spielberg and when he told his tutor this, he took off his glasses, sighed, and spat ‘Spielberg!’ with contempt in his voice. The only rational response:

John DiLillo

@JohnDiLillo

1 year

steven spielberg is so obviously and transparently an epochal generational talent that it’s become a cool signifier of how interesting you are to say you don’t like him. the cinephile version of saying the beatles are overrated. like okay, congrats on your bad taste!

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

9 years

Young Ed Miliband looks like all the Inbetweeners at once. http://t.co/8pcuvcneHN

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

8 years

Alan Rickman, never nominated for an Oscar, completely overshadowing the Oscar nominations. I like to think that would have amused him.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 months

This. Won’t hear a bad word said against Billy Zane. For a few years we ran an agony uncle column in Empire called Listen To Your Friend Billy Zane, and Billy wrote every single reply — to genuine reader problems and issues — himself. He was a pleasure to deal with and very wise.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

7 years

MARK the one-year anniversary of voting for Brexit by making an absolutely catastrophic decision because a bus told you to.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Pretty sure this tweet was written by a rabbit that eats its own faeces.

New Scientist

@newscientist

5 years

Rabbits that don’t eat their own faeces are small and weak

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

How awful. My thoughts are with you and the rest of the H88367726 family.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

1 year

One lovely touch in GLASS ONION is that when we meet Miles Bron, he's playing Blackbird on 'the guitar Paul wrote it on'. But he's playing right-handed, while Macca is perhaps the most famous left-handed musician of all time. A clue, @rianjohnson , or did he just have it refitted?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

Just mistyped ‘Steve went back to be with Peggy’ as ‘Steve went back to be with Piggy’, and I’m already working on page 25 of that movie.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

I am deeply in love with WandaVision. The ability of Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, Teyonah Paris, Kathryn Hahn and the rest of the cast to ride its tonal switches from goofy meta-sitcom to deeply unsettling weirdness is highly impressive. Can’t wait to see where it goes.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Hey BBC, ITV, Sky... have you... have you tried *not* inviting Farage onto radio programmes and TV shows? It’s remarkably easy to do. I’ve never invited him onto the Empire Podcast, for example. Not even once. Not even by accident. Give it a go! You might like it!

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

8 years

May 2017. Prime Minister Boris Johnson and his closest aides survey what's left of London.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

29 days

Matt Le Tissier: I am about to post the stupidest tweet in the history of this website. Kevin Pietersen: Hold my beer. And my watch. And my ring.

Tom “Friendly, Intimate Contact” Bennett

@newmanstings

29 days

I see Matt Le Tissier & Kevin Pietersen are having completely normal ones today!

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

Just to clarify once and for all, because I know it's a big topic of discussion today: ALIEN is a horror movie. ALIENS is an action horror movie. ALIEN 3 is a colourful and raunchy campus comedy. ALIEN RESURRECTION is a dazzling musical with an animated bear. Happy to help.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

TOM CRUISE: The internet, I give to you the trailer for my new film, which features footage of me flying fighter jets FOR REAL. I hope you enj— THE INTERNET: Not now, Tom. An evil wizard has trapped the souls of Taylor Swift and Judi Dench inside some fucked-up feline videogame.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

1 year

I mean, there’s an even stronger one IN THE SAME FILM.

drew grant

@videodrew

1 year

The strongest comedic delivery of a single line in 21st century film, fight me.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 months

Holy shit. Prime Video not only has ads at the beginning of their movies BUT SLAP BANG IN THE MIDDLE. That is an absolute disgrace. Apparently my £95 a year isn’t enough.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

25 days

One thing about the shift to streaming is that it’s largely doing away with one of the great pleasures in life: flicking through the TV channels, happening upon a movie you love that’s just started (or is even halfway through), and riding that train all the way until the end.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Vote. But don’t vote for racists, bellends, and racist bellends. I realise that limits your options somewhat.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

8 years

Would you watch a Black Widow solo movie?

Yes

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Double yes

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No

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Hail Hydra

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Universal truth: if you go on a film set, no matter where it is in the world, no matter the time of year, no matter how cold it is, there will always be a crew member wearing shorts.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

*clock hits midnight on December 1* *Santa sits bolt upright in his tinsel-lined coffin*

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

I want a HOME ALONE sequel where an aged Harry and Marv have to defend their nursing home against an invasion from a psychotic Kevin.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

@awarmann @screenrant UPDATE: no, it’s there. They’ve amended the name of the author, but that’s it. HEY, @SCREENRANT , HOW ABOUT DELETING THIS, YOU COLOSSAL SHITBAGS?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

This has, in the common parlance of Twitter, blown up, which is cool, even if an alarming number of people think I’m being serious about Thanos, that giant purple prick. Does this mean I have to get a Soundcloud now?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

9 months

I tried to do this, but turns out it was a completely different house.

Collider

@Collider

9 months

‘Silence of the Lambs’ Fans Now Have a Chance to Tour Buffalo Bill’s House

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

@aggroman4130 Who’s to say Jesus isn’t the subject of the heist?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

TOM HOOPER: And that’s why I want to direct CATS. STUDIO EXEC: Awesome! Just a quick question. TH: Fire away. SE: You’re not a dog wearing a human suit, making this movie as anti-cat propaganda, right? TH: HAHAHA NO SE: Great! We start Monday. TH: Woof! SE: What? TH: Nothing.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

29 days

Shaun Of The Dead can't be twenty years old, because that would mean it's been twenty years since Shaun Of The Dead came out, which would mean that twenty years had elapsed since I first saw Shaun Of The Dead, which would mean that I am twenty years older than I was when Shaun Of

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 months

When I see people saying they didn’t know Ryan Gosling could be funny before they saw Barbie.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Iron Man 3 is top five MCU. Shut down your website with immediate effect.

ComicBook NOW!

@ComicBookNOW

4 years

MCU fans can't decide whether THOR 2 or IRON MAN 3 is worse:

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 months

Revisiting The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists. So goshdarned funny. We should have been up to our barnacles in sequels by now. The plank for all of those who ignored it when it came out in 2012.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

There are professional comedy writers who could hammer away for years and never come close to something as perfect as this.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Such sad news. Farewell, Ash.

The Guardian

@guardian

4 years

Ian Holm, star of Lord of the Rings, Alien and Chariots of Fire, dies aged 88

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 months

The absolute cheek of Judi Dench doing this when the man who gave the definitive reading of Shakespeare on film is sitting to her right.

Justin Sherin

@wychstreet

6 months

Judi Dench was on Graham Norton last night to push her new book about her life and work with Shakespeare. After making the point we quote Shakespeare daily without knowing it, this happened:

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

While we’re talking about Meat Loaf, he cameoed memorably in TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY. Specifically the opening number, Kickapoo, which is legitimately one of my favourite songs, and which I find myself singing A LOT. Take it away, JB and Meat.

TENACIOUS D - Kickapoo

The radical Kickapoo video from THE PICK OF DESTINY...featuring MEAT LOAF!

www.youtube.com

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

The. Absolute. State. Of. These. Whining. Bellends.

Remake The Last Jedi

@RMTheLastJedi

6 years

Our team of producers is offering to cover the budget for a remake of The Last Jedi in order to save Star Wars. Share this and spread the word to let @RobertIger & @Disney know you want this! This isn't a joke, we're ready to have the convo now! #RemakeTheLastJedi #StarWars

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

This is one of the greatest gags of all time. I would have retired on the spot had I written this.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Cast James Dean as The Doctor.

jean-luc 🐝

@thatotherharry

5 years

What's one controversial thing that you would do if you were the show the runner of #DoctorWho for a series? For me it would be making The Doctor being half human thing canon and exploring that a little...

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Just mistyped ‘Jesus Christ’ as ‘Jesus Heist’ and, well, if anyone needs me I’ll be over here, writing Hollywood’s hottest spec script.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

What movie scenes are so famous/notorious that you heard about them before you saw them? The chestburster in ALIEN, for sure. The shower scene in PSYCHO. Russian roulette in THE DEER HUNTER. Any more for any more?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Just accidentally swallowed the F5 key from my laptop. It was actually quite refreshing.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

@awarmann @screenrant They’ve taken it down, haven’t they? Shouldn’t have put it up in the first place, the colossal shitbags.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

*walks into cinema, slaps money on counter* TWO TICKETS TO AIR CONDITIONING, PLEASE.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

Without saying too much, Drunk Vision is the tonic 2021 needed.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

How do we know this isn’t Simon Pegg?

Aaron Rupar

@atrupar

4 years

Here is the moment that Wolf Blitzer projected Joe Biden has been elected president

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

I say 'yarp' on a daily basis, but I almost never say 'narp'. Huh. Maybe that's because I'm just a beaming ray of sunshine. Be a yarper, not a narper. #advice #lifecoach #inspiration

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

And this almost goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. I don’t imagine there are many of us who haven’t been touched, in some way, by cancer. It took my dad, for one. So get yourself checked (advice I should heed myself), and also join me in a hearty chorus of #FuckCancer .

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

British Podcast Awards

@britpodawards

2 years

The winners of Best Live Podcast are: Gold: The Empire Film Podcast - @empiremagazine Silver: @nobodypanicpod Bronze: @guiltfempod #britpodawards

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

STEPPENWOLF: Die, Justice League! BATMAN: Wait! Think of your mother, Martha! STEPPENWOLF: My mother isn't called Martha. BATMAN: Worth a shot.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

10 months

Actually, we don't. Because the movie is literally just out, for the love of Christ. In fact, it's not even out in the States. So cool your jets, slow your roll, houl yer fuckin' whisht.

Gizmodo

@Gizmodo

10 months

We Have to Talk About the Ending of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

This is pretty impressive. Even more so that they did all this with barely any peripheral vision.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Guys, I accidentally waved my giant magnet over the Snyder Cut and... well, I don’t know how to break this to you.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

Sam Matterface has just declared that people can “do what you want tonight.” Has… has he enacted The Purge?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Just read an article in The Guardian about all the escaped/loose snakes roaming around the streets of London, turning up in people’s showers and beds etc. I’ve bought the movie rights. The film will be called FUCK. THAT.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Hey Netflix, some people like watching the end credits.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Going to take a leaf out of some pretty cool books and start a daily thread of film recommendations. Fair warning: every day I’ll be recommending Avengers: Infinity War.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

How are you guys spending NYE? I’m off to Kyle Walker’s. Should be a ton of fun!

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Wait a second... this is a real thing? I thought it was a fake SNL-style trailer. My word.

HBO

@HBO

5 years

“Everyone knows who won. But not everyone knows how.” Starring Benedict Cumberbatch, #BrexitHBO premieres January 19 on #HBO

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

9 years

It's possible that I have a problem. http://t.co/dycExcgrlT

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

8 years

BREAKING: live footage of Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson on the Vote Leave bus.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

7 years

Richard Hammond's worst nightmare.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

7 years

Guys, I've just thought of an incredible new word. Get ready for 'hepeated'.

Nicole Gugliucci probably isn't here

@NoisyAstronomer

7 years

My friends coined a word: hepeated. For when a woman suggests an idea and it's ignored, but then a guy says same thing and everyone loves it

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 months

The good news is, I’m so relieved to find that I’m not the only one inundated by tweets from sexbots telling me they’re 300 metres away. The bad news is, they’ve got the house surrounded. Supplies are running low. Escape seems almost impossible. Send help.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

7 years

This is the greatest letter we have ever received.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

I photoshop the Invisible Man into a film or tv show until I forget: Day 1

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

This is incredible.

TG ☕️

@TG22110

2 years

Definitely wait for it.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

That’s nothing, Stormy. I have 12GB of data every month, and free roaming in over 40 different countries.

Scott Dworkin

@funder

6 years

Stormy Daniels says she has pictures & text messages. 🍿

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Trump swaggering in here like the shithouse mafioso he is. "Eh, nice climate you got here, be a shame if something happened to it."

James Felton

@JimMFelton

5 years

This is like a clip from a special episode of The Office where everyone dies from climate change

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Watching four World Cup games in a single day is amazing. But just wait until the 2026 World Cup, when Netflix will drop all 128 games at once.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

4 years

Absolutely floored by the death of Chadwick Boseman. What an actor he was. What an inspirational figure. I can’t even begin to comprehend the courage he showed in making movies while battlin cancer. And what movies. T’Challa, and Black Panther, changed so much in particular. RIP

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

1 year

@lucyj_ford There was a much bigger storyline at one point featuring the ‘other’ squad of pilots who were contenders for the mission. When that got stripped away, as I understand it, so did Manny.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Imagine writing off Get Out, Call Me By Your Name and Lady Bird as ‘old bollocks’, while praising Darkest Hour. Just imagine it.

Andrew Neil

@afneil

6 years

I’ve now watched - so you didn’t have to do it — every Oscar nominated film. Other than Darkest Hour and 3 Billboards — a bigger load of old bollocks I’ve never seen in my life. No wonder TV is destroying Hollywood.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

TERMINATOR SALVATION: “This is the start of a brand new Terminator trilogy!” TERMINATOR GENISYS: “OK, *this* is the start of a brand new Terminator trilogy!” TERMINATOR 6: “OK, now hear us out...”

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

Just a reminder of the single greatest piece of acting of the 21st century.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

8 years

If The Sun is going after @GaryLineker , then he must be doing something right. Keep up the good work, sir. #DontBuyTheSun #JeSuisGaryLineker

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

8 years

Just hanging with my special friends. #TeamHawkeye (photo by @daveszt ; clothes model's own)

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

A tale in three acts. ACT ONE: an excerpt from the Empire Podcast, July 1, 2022. The day Minions: The Rise Of Gru was released. ACT TWO: first trip to the cinema with our little daughter, 11am approx. this morning ACT THREE: 5pm today Resistance is futile, and then some.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

INDIE DIRECTOR: So, I’d like you— ROBERT PATTINSON: I’m in. INDIE DIRECTOR: Great! But don’t you want to know what it’s about? ROBERT PATTINSON: Nope. INDIE DIRECTOR: You’re a fisherman who wanks off bears in his spar— ROBERT PATTINSON: [placing fingers on director’s lips] Ssssh.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Twelve hours and he hasn’t tweeted since. Those must be some amazing sex gifs.

Dean Norris

@deanjnorris

6 years

Sex gifs

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

Pound for pound, the funniest film ever made?

Todd Vaziri

@tvaziri

3 years

This shot from "Top Secret!" is an beautiful gag using deep focus and an oversized prop... and I only now fully realized that it's satirizing split diopter / split focus shots in thrillers.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

What... what would Andrew Lincoln have done if Chiwetel Ejiofor had opened the front door?

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

Bloody hell, it's snowing. Right, everyone, sleds out. Let's go full Griswo-- oh, it's stopped.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

6 years

At no point in Justice League does Jason Momoa say, 'come on Barbie, let's go party'. And he has the gall to call himself Aquaman.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

A reminder that Paddington 2 is eligible for this year’s Oscars, will receive zero nominations, yet is almost certainly a hundred times better than whichever movie will end up winning Best Picture.

Nick de Semlyen

@NickdeSemlyen

5 years

Paddington 2 should win Best Picture 🐻

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

2 years

Today’s the big day. An event so momentous that it’s occupied my every waking thought for weeks is finally happening. Send positive thoughts, because I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Yes, it’s the Better Call Saul finale spoiler pod! And also, our little daughter is moving in.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

5 years

Poor Johnson. Can’t win a vote to save his life, and now his piss-weak Hulk analogy is ripped to shreds BY THE MOTHERFUCKING HULK.

Mark Ruffalo

@MarkRuffalo

5 years

Boris Johnson forgets that the Hulk only fights for the good of the whole. Mad and strong can also be dense and destructive. The Hulk works best when he is in unison with a team, and is a disaster when he is alone. Plus...he’s always got Dr. Banner with science and reason.

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Chris Hewitt

@ChrisHewitt

3 years

I know I default to this idea a lot, but the dad in that Coca-Cola Christmas ad absolutely dies when he gets knocked into the freezing cold ocean, doesn’t he? The rest of the ad, with his trip to the North Pole, is his dying fantasy before his brain shuts down. Merry Christmas.

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