Dr. Caroline Bartman @Caroline_Bartma Twitter profile

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

1 year

NEW BARTMAN LAB WEBSITE JUST DROPPED: Techs/staff scientists/postdocs/students, come work with us in 2023! (pls RT)

the Bartman lab

bartmanlabpenn.squarespace.com

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

I have a joke about senior faculty asking questions at seminars but it’s actually more of a comment

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

11 months

no one: scientist: you guys i did some great science! i'm so excited! scientist: I'm going to print it on an ENORMOUS sheet of paper scientist: like really big. QUITE BIG scientist: and then take it on a plane and go somewhere and show it to people

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

what if i start a bar for researchers called Pub Med

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

you know what would increase diversity in science? higher grad student stipends.

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

How it started: AUG How it’s going: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

"I am giving a poster" -underwhelming -boring "Unpublished science, for only one hour, standing room only!" -accurate -enthralling

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

why do they call it “a vial of mRNA vaccine” and not “message in a bottle”

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

i don't know who needs to hear this but if a professor doesn't respond to you EMAIL THEM AGAIN

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

you're telling me a desk rejected this manuscript

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

PROPOSAL: journal that will publish any results disagreeing with high-profile papers, we'll call it Nurture

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

I love academic science because you are a “young investigator” until you are like 50 and also as an adult at a professional event you can win a “poster prize”

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

I still think there should be an escape clause on PhDs. Like if you’re a sixth year and have no publications, you can duel your advisor and if you win you’re a doctor.

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

PROPOSAL: accepted

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

And the dark fairy cursed her saying “you will travel to the most beautiful places all over the world but you will never be allowed to see the landmarks. Instead you will sit in identical lecture halls and listen to people talk about papers they already published”

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

clones in fiction: SO MYSTERIOUS! they're exactly the same! they share thoughts. maybe they share A SOUL. clones in biology: IF ALL MY MICE ARE GENETICALLY IDENTICAL WHY ARE MY DATA SO VARIABLE

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

1 year

The day after my qPCR failed

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

1 year

Me with my p1000 and p200

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

It is now officially permissible, if your PI comes looking for data, to just yell “SOCIAL DISTANCING” and run away

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Excited to announce that I will start in Fall 2023 as an Assistant Professor in the University of Pennsylvania Department of Systems Pharmacology and Translational Therapeutics. The Bartman Lab will measure and target extreme metabolic fluxes in immune cells and cancer cells.

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

why do journals submission systems have passwords i mean, please break in to my account and revise my paper, be my guest

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

6 years

Do you sometimes wonder if the NIH is a really sophisticated plot orchestrated by mice so they can get us to cure their diseases and understand their genetics

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

6 years

An English manor mystery but everyone staying in the house is a scientist and you have to figure out who was the reviewer who rejected your paper

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Postdoc life: Poorer than the professors, less cool than the grad students

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

P value reveal party

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

if you liked Lost even though it was ultra confusing, had many seemingly irrelevant storylines and ended with all questions and no answers, may i recommend THE ENTIRE FIELD OF BIOLOGY

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

But why is it called a nanodrop if I put a microliter of liquid on it

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

PROPOSAL: a -80 that instead of a beeping alarm, just starts playing “It’s Getting Hot in Here”

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

What is your most controversial lab opinion? I think a lot of stuff people keep in a -80 could probably be in a -20 and nothing would happen

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

The most amazing thing about being a scientist is doing an experiment and then you discover a way to mess it up that no one has ever seen before

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

I don’t know anything about limb regeneration but I’m prepared to axolotl questions

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

wet lab/dry lab

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

PROPOSAL: a journal about electric eels called Current Biology

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

Why do people call it “junk dna” and not “nuclear waste”

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

u know how parents take pics of babies on blankets and it's like 'THREE MONTHS' do that with PhD students, it's a grown woman on a blanket with a placard that says SIX YEARS and she's eating some free seminar pizza

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

Hill I will die on: IT SHOULD BE CALLED 46ANDME THEYRE NOT SEQUENCING HAPLOID CELLS

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

R0- (pronounced “r-naught”) How many people on average an infected person will pass the virus to As in, “I hope you R0 going into stores without a mask”

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

“Just going to lab for an hour” she lied to herself

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

PROPOSAL: a movie about protein misfolding called Lost in Translation

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

me: i'm a scientist also me: you HAVE to spin these tubes for 10 minutes NO NOT NINE NOT ELEVEN DONT ASK ME WHY

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

PROPOSAL: a heist movie but it’s a team of brilliant scientists breaking into the NIH to fix typos in the grants they just submitted

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

PROPOSAL: If an experiment doesn't go well, drown your sorrows at our new pub the Error Bar

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Do you whisper “so cute” every time you look at your cells in the microscope or are you normal

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG GENERATE NEW DATA THE DAY BEFORE YOUR LAB MEETING

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

DID YOU REALLY THINK A ONE TAILED T TEST WAS APPROPRIATE, KEVIN

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

11 months

Scientist: people might come to see it! especially if there is free beer near my Large Science Paper

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Rage Against the PCR Machine

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

now that we are all working from home, may i recommend: the MODIFIED POMODORO method. 1. work on work stuff for 25 minutes. 2. Read coronavirus updates on twitter and for two hours repeat until you've finished approximately 25 minutes of work in 1 day

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

PROPOSAL: a deodorant called Clathrin so you can tell friends you have clathrin-coated pits

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Me comparing the data I have to show for lab meeting this week to my data the last time I gave lab meeting

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

26 days

why is it called a nanodrop if the drop measured is a microliter

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

what if the elderly tenured PI who sleeps in the front row of every seminar is actually an avant garde performance artist making an edgy point about the futility of the scientific enterprise

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

medieval knights named their swords so i want to name my pipets P200 the faithful P20 the true P2 the is-there-anything-actually-in-there

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

“IT’S SCIENCE TIME!” I yell as I begin to transfer small amounts of liquid between different tubes for several hours

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

One lab skill im super envious of is people who can sharpie a whole paragraph on top of an eppendorf in perfect tiny writing

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Hot take: if you’re a grad student, try to study a biological process that happens fast. In a day is great, in an hour even better

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

11 months

Imagine if I could find a room. A BIG ROOM with many BIG SCIENCE PAPERS. and full of scientists to come look at MY BIG SCIENCE PAPER

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

OPENING FALCON TUBES WITH ONE HAND

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Me in college: don’t like writing papers, gonna major in science! Me now with a career that hinges on writing grants and papers: 🤪🤪🤪

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

How do you know if your talk on regeneration biology went well? If the audience axolotl questions

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Super excited that I was awarded an NCI K99/R00 to continue developing new methods to study tumor metabolism in vivo!

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

poster sessions are wild it's like, do you like papers? in that case you will REALLY like traveling hundreds of miles to look at rough drafts of paper figures in a large ballroom

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

no one: absolutely no one: no one: someone in each lab: since we have all this free and relaxed time, we should start a journal club!

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

JUST MARRIED

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

PROPOSAL: a zoo but for different kinds of bacteria and cell lines Visitors view every exhibit through microscopes

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Cas9 trying to cut when I designed the guide wrong 😭

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

you know when you're hiking up a mountain, and you're like "I can see the top!" and then you get there and it's not the top and then the next one isn't the top either that's what science is like sometimes

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

PIs: please use a plain background on your slides, no gradients or pictures, you need people to take your talk seriously PIs during coronavirus: YOU GUYS ZOOM HAS BACKGROUNDS 🌴🧑‍🔬🌴🌈

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Do u apologize to lab equipment when you bump into it or are u normal

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

PROPOSAL: a journal of good comebacks called Scientific Retorts

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Broke: throwing away your cells that aren’t growing well Woke: cancel culture

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

The NIH should just dump money into getting proteomics to the point where no one ever has to do a Western again

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

Is it a restriction enzyme or is it Not1

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

11 months

Trying to locate samples from former lab members in the -80

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

PROPOSAL: Reality show where 16 scientists try to meaningfully analyze single cell seq data collected at different times by different labs We’ll call it The Batchelor 🌹

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

spilled my T25 on my lab notes so I guess I have a cell paper now

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Literally harder to read a journal article when I’m not on campus than to get into the capital

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

plasmids are very Marie Kondo because bacteria can throw out genes that no longer spark joy

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 months

I’m an Official assistant professor now that I have a door sign 😂🎉🎉🎉

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

Scientists use question words to learn about the world around them! WHO will give me funding WHEN will they give me funding WHAT do i have to do to get funding WHY do i not have more funding

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

PROPOSAL: every time you learn a new lab technique, make a supervillain-style announcement speech. "They said it couldn't be done. They said it was TOO DANGEROUS. But now I've mastered the power of Gibson Assembly! NO ONE CAN STOP ME"

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

ROSES ARE RED IN FRENCH THEY ARE ROUGE MAY YOUR EPPENDORF LIDS NOT BREAK OFF IN THE CENTRIFUGE #AcademicValentine

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

this is just to say i have taken your pipet tips that were on your bench and which you were probably saving for an experiment Forgive me they were useful so sterile and so convenient

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

instead of counting sheep, i go to sleep by imagining pipeting a 96-well plate

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

PROPOSAL: a biotech startup that does 30-sec bacterial cell wall staining. We'll call it Insta-Gram

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

My PI and I wrote an op-ed about Covid19 viral dose and why it should be part of the public discussion!

Opinion | These Coronavirus Exposures Might Be the Most Dangerous (Published 2020)

As with any other poison, viruses are usually deadlier in larger amounts.

www.nytimes.com

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

live fast die young present unpublished work at a conference

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

A dendritic cell is like a small child that tries to touch everything and then sometimes they touch a stove or a knife and they just start screaming

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

@sbarolo can I just centrifuge them I’m lazy

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

I mean it's one antibody, Michael, what could it cost? Ten thousand dollars?

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

1 month

trying to explain to my lab how hard my life was before biorender

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

Hello sharpie my old friend I’ve come to label tubes again Because an idea softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the experiment it planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound Of science

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

Nothing more wholesome than acknowledgments at PhD defenses

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

Why can I culture cells for months at a time and they’re totally happy but as soon as I purchase a succulent it dies

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

PROPOSAL: an app for scientists to find other scientists to run co-labs with: PInder

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

the BIGGEST problem with zoom scientific seminars is the lack of free pizza

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

PROPOSAL: a live camera feed of scientists doing labwork We’ll call it Baywatch

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

5 years

PROPOSAL: a dating app for scientists called Carbon-14

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

2 years

PROPOSAL: A support group for when your cloning fails, we’ll call it gene therapy

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

3 years

maybe this one

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Dr. Caroline Bartman

@Caroline_Bartma

4 years

Has anyone suggested to the CDC that qpcr is no way to publish high Why not diagnose corona virus with single cell sequencing

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