Carl Donnelly @CarlDonnelly Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@jonnygray14

@Praveeeen_

@_vcent_

@davey_perkins

@ProwayDarnay

@FahadKurumpoyil

@blix_gg

@PerfWolf

@WrestleACTION1

@abrfine

@new_eggofficial

@corgiloverse

@CloverGrant

@BrendanRMarks

@haroonThinks

@puffcase

@AaronGaribay30

@PDTScouting

@TBArmaj

@matifanger

@bitcoincass

@tkhime_TL

@tmsturridge

@maximilianoguer

@AP_McCoy

@Virender_VA

@CindyWitzigreu1

@WPN_CEO

@returnFAW

@Tv09337856

@CBS6

@AsfandyarMazari

@piaorrenius

@TomBarclay_

@ArtsJeze

@magills_

Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

He’s a 36 year old professional athlete, not Dame Judy Dench!

Football Tweet ⚽

@Football__Tweet

2 years

36-years old and Luka Modrić still had the energy for these celebrations last night. 🥳 🎥 @realmadrid

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

McGuire and Stones both have the look of the big lads in a group watching their little lively mate winding up some dickheads knowing they’re gonna be the ones mopping it up when it kicks off

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 months

Captain Tom’s daughter

Michael Benson

@MichaelBensonn

9 months

Who do you want Anthony Joshua to fight next Saturday now that the Dillian Whyte rematch has been cancelled due to Whyte's drugs test?

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

6 months

In my opinion, nothing honours those who gave their lives more than kicking your mate in the spuds outside Pret while a bunch of commuters look on.

BFBS Radio

@BFBSRadioHQ

6 months

OUCH! Feel sick watching that... Not gonna lie 😰 🎥 Royal Marines at London Poppy Day 🌹

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

Worryingly, about halfway through, the dildo works him out and starts sliding those jabs

Jake Paul

@jakepaul

1 year

No days off. Keeping my reflexes sharp. Merry Christmas🎄 🎅🏼

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

7 months

Art for the sort of people who holiday in Dubai

Lou

@LurkerLouis

7 months

For an art lover like myself this place looks like a slice of heaven

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Me when a wasp comes into my kitchen

Mick Jagger

@MickJagger

3 years

See you tomorrow!

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

..and still doesn’t know how to use a punching bag

Football Tweet ⚽

@Football__Tweet

2 years

40-years old.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

The Conte announcement video should be him throwing the players he doesn’t want off the skywalk

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Me listening to 20 year old Spurs fans moaning about our transfer window having lived through 90s/Early 2000s Spurs #coys

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

Probably myself in the head with a shotgun

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

10 months

Ordered. Can’t wait to get shot by a tactical response team while carrying 12 cans of Punk IPA to meet mates on Clapham Common

Dominic Lipscombe

@DomLip94

10 months

Cant even begin to explain why this is a bad idea

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

The thing he can’t say is that he fancies kids

Sky Sports Premier League

@SkySportsPL

2 years

"If I say what I think I'm suspended six months" 😳 Mikel Arteta was NOT happy with some of the decisions in the #NLD ...

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

4 months

This is worse than him being on the Epstein list

EuroFoot

@eurofootcom

4 months

Mikel Arteta x Salt Bae in Dubai! 🧂🥩

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

That moment when you’re on a super secret spy mission but accidentally walk into the background of a BBC news report

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

11 months

Football Tweet ⚽

@Football__Tweet

11 months

🚨 Adolf Hütter is the new coach of AS Monaco! 🇲🇨👀 Confirmation in the next few hours. ⏳ ✍️ @FootMercato

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Older comedians watching Live at the Apollo

ESPN MMA

@espnmma

3 years

Conor just staring Holloway down... 👀 #UFCVegas42 (via @TheNotoriousMMA )

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 months

Him scoring 30+ goals a season wearing Skechers will be a bigger achievement than any trophie on the planet bruv

LiveScore

@livescore

9 months

Harry Kane has signed a life-time boot deal with Skechers 🥾

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

I’m doing this but in reverse

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

I think the time has come to have an honest discussion about changing the name ‘Godparents’ to ‘Two random people your parents were tight with the year before you were born’

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

At the 13 second mark I thought this video was going in a very different direction

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

If the vaccine was made to kill us like some people believe, it’s gotta be the shittest murder weapon ever. You need multiple shots and even then it only takes out a few randoms and causes a couple of football players to have heart attacks. The illuminati need to try harder IMO

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

For £200k a week I’d play for Peadophile United mate

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

My crumpet on the eighth time of me popping it back down in the toaster

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Finally a condom that suits my exact requirements

Commissioner for Dodo™️

@Eminitybaba_

2 years

Durex need to calm down 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

That pub from Goodnight Sweetheart?

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Jandrew?

UberFacts

@UberFacts

3 years

Michael J. Fox's middle name is Andrew

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

I’ve always thought there was something a bit off about him to be fair

ScreenGeek

@RealScreenGeek

3 years

Michael Myers Said To Be Homophobic In ‘Halloween Kills’

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Full disclosure, since this went on sale, my dad sadly passed away so the title has become somewhat ironic. Will probably talk a bit about it in the shows but don’t worry I’ll keep it light. Get your tickets now to watch a sad man tell jokes

Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Right everyone, ill parents means I sadly have to miss Edinburgh this year but so as not to waste my show, I’ve just put two nights in at the lovely @sohotheatre at the start of August. Please come (and tell your friends)

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

A little bit of stand up from @topsecretcomedy about why we always end up with shit prime ministers

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

I’m never speaking again bruv

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Anyone who knows me will confirm that this story is sadly 100% true. My tale of how I thought I was bald for 5 years. Give it a watch please

Laughing Around

@Laughing_Around

3 years

@CarlDonnelly ‘s lockdown story 👴🏻➡️👨🏻‍🦳🙌

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

😂 Man spent the 80s so stressed he couldn’t even hear music!

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

7 months

Klopp obviously doesn’t think there actually should be a replay. He’s just saying it to galvanise an online army of divs who will get behind him regardless of how stupid what he’s saying actually is. It’s weaponised idiocy

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Great work guys. I actually run a company that safely disposes of confiscated alcohol so if you drop me an email with your location, I’ll swing by and pick all that up and make sure it’s disposed of safely.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Good riddance to it I say

UberFacts

@UberFacts

2 years

The Moon is moving away from Earth at a rate of 1.5 inches per year

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Think it actually ended like this lads

Sky Sports Premier League

@SkySportsPL

2 years

How it started How it ended

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Darth Vader’s wedding shoes

JEHOVAH’S FLYEST WITNESS©

@ssyriek

2 years

pleated up w/ ‘ciaga

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

6 months

Proud to have done my bit

(°~°)

@_sladeLJ

6 months

Well done at the match mate @CarlDonnelly

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Spare a thought for Nadine Dorries who is about to be made minister of not being allowed on television anymore

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

I’m going to end up killing more people that Harold Shipman

The Mirror

@DailyMirror

2 years

EXCLUSIVE: Comedians could be prescribed on NHS to help patients struggling with trauma

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Right everyone, ill parents means I sadly have to miss Edinburgh this year but so as not to waste my show, I’ve just put two nights in at the lovely @sohotheatre at the start of August. Please come (and tell your friends)

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Chips guy is me every day watching the culture wars unfold

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

When you think it’s coke but it’s actually ket

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Did a worm write this?

UberFacts

@UberFacts

3 years

Earthworms have been ranked as the number one most influential species in the history of the planet, even above dinosaurs and humans

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Me trying to get some dogshit off my knees

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 years

What I really like about Djokovic is his ever changing hairstyles. You just never know what he's gonna show up with next?

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

The new John Wick film should just be him getting a new dog and calming the fuck down

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Shoplifting innit

Which?

@WhichUK

2 years

How have you cut back on food shopping to save money?

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Sad to have missed the annual twat parade

Countryside Alliance

@CAupdates

2 years

Wonderful scenes from the #BoxingDay meet for the Bicester Hunt with Whaddon Chase which was held in Winslow, Buckinghamshire, earlier today. Many thanks to Sam Nash for sharing this great footage.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

I stand by my belief that the day Irish Twitter got hold of this picture and went to town with it was greatest ever day in this place

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Jokes on you mate

The Spurs Web

@thespursweb

2 years

Thomas Tuchel: "We expect the best possible Tottenham side."

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Just been kicked out of a tattoo parlour for asking if they’d tattoo my bum cheeks red so my whole arse looks like a poppy! Disgusting. They won’t be receiving my custom again. I’ll find another tattooist who isn’t a wokester, too weak and ashamed to commemorate our war dead

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Check dat hard-drive

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

True story of how I almost died because of a lemsip max strength

Have A Word

@Haveawordpod

2 years

What would you do if you turned yellow? 😂🟡

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 years

I'm starting to think Katie Hopkins has taken losing 'The Apprentice' quite badly

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

5 months

How unpopular a person do you have to be to factor this in as a possibility when buying a car?

Tesla Motors Community

@CommunityTesla

5 months

Come on break the Cybertruck 💪🏻 #Cybertruck #Tesla #Optimus

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Asos recommending shit to me as if I’m a member of Colour Me Badd

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

If they’re the two options, I think I’ll just take that signpost out of the ground and drive it straight through my temple cheers

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

Seems I picked the wrong week to treat myself to a Bugatti with the profits from my sex trafficking business

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

When I was a waiter at Pizza Hut on the Strand, James Cordon used to come in for a medium Hawaiian stuffed crust twice a day and openly do a shit just next to the salad bar. If any of the staff said anything about it to him he’d kick them and threaten to burn the place down.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 months

His name sounds like a geordie saying “Pair of shoes”

SpursOTM

@SpurOTM

9 months

#Tottenham are very keen on Perr Schuurs. [ @pokeefe1 🥇]

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

I would have run them over blud

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

3 years

James Corden, Camila Cabello, Billy Porter and Idina Menzel stopped traffic in LA for a flash mob with a cover of Jennifer Lopez’s “Let’s Get Loud” to promote #CinderellaMovie

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

10 years

Think we'd be better off if Rooney was in his natural position tonight. Balls deep in a granny in Manchester

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

This sort of Twitter exchange is what keeps me in this online psychiatric unit

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 years

Yeah you probably did overstep the mark a bit to be honest mate http://t.co/Rvz0aUwpzp

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

8 months

What the fuck have these people been using butter for up until this point??

John Delmenico

@thebigjohnnyd

8 months

America is a failed state

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Dumb little bit of audience interaction from last night’s show at @topsecretcomedy that started with a chat about furlough and ended with me asking the big questions about ocean plastics

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

This mf should come with one of those foil blankets you get at the end of a marathon

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

I’ve always been too embarrassed to tell @robbeckettcomic this story

Vittorio

@vittorioangelon

2 years

The main man @CarlDonnelly has an eye for talent 😂

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

Yeah come on guys. Let’s all stop laughing at Andrew Tate getting publicly railed and think about the harm we’re doing to the most marginalised group of all… guys with little dicks!

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

What the fuck am I about to open???

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

That chair from the heavens that lands on a blokes head 5 seconds is amazing

Fight Haven

@FightHaven

1 year

Retreat...Retreat...

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Hey Elon! I also murdered two people. Any chance of a blue tick??

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

“Nah, you wouldn’t know her. She goes to a different school”

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Rabies. I swear I thought about 10000 people a week were catching that shit

LADbible

@ladbible

3 years

What is something that you were warned about when you were younger that you now feel was exaggerated?

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Comedians role is simply to show up to a gig and be super friendly to the other acts then secretly slag them off in WhatsApp groups on the way home. Nothing more, nothing less

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

10 months

As a dad, I would 100% be taking it back and saying “Sorry mate but I asked for onions on this” to the person serving

Footy Scran

@FootyScran

10 months

Cheeseburger at the Snapdragon stadium, San Diego for Wrexham vs. Manchester United ( @SnapdragonStdm ) 💵 $13.50 (£10.50)

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

As a tax payer, I personally don’t think it’s too much to have asked the NHS to help me out on the small number of occasions (7) I’ve ended up in a spot of bother having stuffed things up my arse

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

He looks like he’s just finished a shift on the Death Star

GQ Magazine

@GQMagazine

2 years

Big belt energy.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

I’m throwing my hat into the ring to replace him. I too have grey hair and am an absolute wrong’un behind closed doors

The Guardian

@guardian

1 year

Phillip Schofield to leave This Morning ‘with immediate effect’

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

I would have stormed the cockpit and flown us all into the sea

Southwest Airlines

@SouthwestAir

2 years

We teamed up with @guitarcenter to surprise a flight full of Customers flying out of Long Beach with a ukulele and a lesson. By the time they arrived in Honolulu they were pros.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

Check it out! I popped into the lads new studio and brought a boozy gift that then got opened. Things got loose!

Have A Word

@Haveawordpod

1 year

EARLY ACCESS IS LIVE 🚨 This week we had @CarlDonnelly join us for what turned into a de-facto lock-in. What could have possibly happened to cause this reaction from everyone? Get early access here >>

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Needed a stiff drink after that first half #COYS

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

I’ll be honest, this was one of my less successful chat up lines

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

10 years

Ever noticed that if you turn Anjem Choudary's head upside down and draw on it, you get Don King? #AnjemChoudary http://t.co/nUj2YwNIet

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

11 years

Went to make a cup of tea and realised I didn't have any milk. It's what she would have wanted #Thatcher

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

If you like dumb videos (and booze) then please watch this then head over and subscribe to my Instagram page It will be fun

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

Saw someone who had put a poppy on their dog. About time too. For as long as I can remember, those selfish pieces of shit have totally ignored the memory of our war dead

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Such a blokey way of giving birth. Just aggressively pumping them out without a care!

Oceanography

@Oceanographyy

2 years

Male seahorse giving birth!😳

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

10 years

You know its not a great transfer deadline day when this the best thing I've seen today RT @SIooowMotion : http://t.co/FbqSew9wzg

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

5 months

😂 Go talk about it on your podcast mate

Sky Sports Premier League

@SkySportsPL

5 months

“It’s a lack of respect!” 👀 Callum Wilson explains his clash with Guglielmo Vicario towards the end of their 4-1 loss 😳

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

Those famous Hollywood actors better start dusting off those verses of ‘Imagine’ again

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

Thanks mate

UberFacts

@UberFacts

1 year

Your anus is just as unique as your fingerprints

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

9 months

It’s probably a controversial opinion due to it being the wrongest a person has ever been

Alan Smith

@9smudge

9 months

Controversial opinion: the Emirates creates the best atmosphere in the Premier League

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

1 year

My daughter has finally reached the ‘saying creepy shit at night time’ phase I’ve seen people share about on here. Sat at the kitchen table earlier she turned and waved at the corner of the room. I asked who she waved at and just said “The owls”.

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

3 years

This was a fortnight after the dust had settled on the Euros and I was still irked by the amount of fair weather football fans that were chatting shit!

Big Belly Bar & Club Comedy

@BigBellyComedy

3 years

Middle Class Football Fans are the worst 🤦‍♂️ @CarlDonnelly nailing it as usual

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Carl Donnelly

@CarlDonnelly

2 years

This geezer’s head looks like the back of a bellend

Sky News

@SkyNews

2 years

Tory MP Michael Fabricant says the understanding was that the alleged No 10 garden party was "not spreading the disease because these were people already working closely together". 📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube