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Chris Cantrill Profile
Chris Cantrill

@CallMeCantrill

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Comedian. 50% of Ed Fest double-nommed @MmmSausage . 🎥 @AdultFilmClub_ . 🎟 @A_Lovely_Time . Co-creator of Icklewick FM. Pod: @ruralconcerns 🐏

North East/London
Joined June 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 months
🐏NEW PODCAST🐏 Rural Concerns is a brand new podcast from born again country gent Chris Cantrill and city slicking crypto magnate @SunilDPatel . Drops Mon 8th April 📓 Spotify Apple Podcasts
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Absolutely blown away to have been nominated for the main award AGAIN! Immensely proud of Nowt But Sea and our talented team of misfits. Couldn't be happier for DOUBLE nominated powerhouse, @ThatGledhill . I am incredibly... Proud?! God. Delete. Delete tweet. Hot Nigel Farage pics
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
My wife cut my hair real bad but we're going to stay together because of the kid.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
U wot?! A bloody ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from Chortle! Absolutely delightful treat for the day orf! Back again 2morra x
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
Excited to be working on a brand new @MmmSausage show for BBC Radio 4. I know we're about 18 months off AI being able to do all this stuff, so I'm just going to enjoy it.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Look at this slide. Proper 1970s health and safety doesn't exist fucker of a slide. I stood at the top and felt fear.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
Back in my day we didn't even have 'exams'. We didn't even have 'jobs'. No 'houses', no 'lino'. Weren't even any matter. All we had was a sorta membrane made of antimatter. Beneath that? Graft, lad. Nowt but graft.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Insanely chuffed with this news and still can't quite believe it isn't a prank. Can't wait to put our filth in yer ears.
@chortle
Chortle Comedy
3 years
Radio 2 show for The Delightful Sausage | Broadcaster announces comedy pilots
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
It’s that time of year where you have to write a blurb for a show which definitely doesn’t exist yet: ‘Want to know how to make a UFO? Okay, now I’ve got your attention; Yorkshire’s biggest toddler is BACK with a true story about stolen pirate gold and having too many feelings.’
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Holiday aready off to a rip-roaring start. So many memories.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Absolutely proud to bursting to watch Alma's Not Normal on BBC 2 tonight. It's so, so funny and you can catch the whole series on iPlayer!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
6am collab with my son.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Fucking Christ.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
My son just screamed, "I play to win!" to close off what will be our first and last game of Scrabble.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Episode 2 of #AlmasNotNormal is on BBC 2 tonight at 10pm! Expect #GregIsFit to be trending by half past! 😍
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Manchester peeps! Adult Film Club is a new night of Comedy Short Films hosted by me and @mrSamOLeary . Ft. Jamie Demetriou, @alanresnicks , @mmmsausage & more! Curated worldwide oddities and homegrown talent at @GRUBMCR . Only 3 bloody quids! 🎟️
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 months
Another terrible ad from Business Mentor, Dave L'Shay ✨
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Found guilty of being a sexy dad!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
My son called me a "big fat pig" (as a laugh!) And then my 3 year old niece started copying him (adorable) and now they're both chasing me around screaming it and it's totally fine and I'm probably laughing more than they are tbh! 😆🤣🥲😪😭
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
"A load of shite on there" - my dad's review of The Internet
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 months
Learn chess with a pro ♟️ 📹 @NicRedmanVoice #funny #comedy #Chess
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
9 months
Had a brilliant time at the @LondonPodFest titting about with an amazing cast in @beefanddairy Live! Huge honour to be invited by @benpartridge who wrote such a funny show and I will never, ever, ever forget the taste of Glando 🙆‍♀️🍎🙆‍♂️
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
7 months
Had a wild night doing LIVE TELLY (🤯) on @Channel4 for @StandUp2C with HRH @ThatGledhill . Great fun for a great cause! #SU2CUK
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Oh wow! Well as my last post got 100k likes (ty ty 🙏) - here's the picture as promised.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
A wild delight to return to @beefanddairy as a randy darts player. Merry Beefmas to all!
@beefanddairy
Beef & Dairy Network
1 year
Merry Beefhead! 🐮 New episode out today! Featuring darts legend Kenny Baritone ( @CallMeCantrill ) and Yvonne Sampson, mother to Britain's biggest baby ( @ThatGledhill ) Also a new Beefhead carol from stage legend Roger Westcott LeMaigrelay ( @atomcrowley )
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
This pic says: You can't tame a tornado. Just strap in and enjoy the ride 😎 (If anyone was planning to see my show today would be lovely and helpful. 4.20pm, @BarrelComedy )
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
On #pointlesscelebrities tonight at 19.55, BBC One. We did it for Yorkshire x
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 months
Visiting the countryside? Check out my essential tips🌳 #comedy #funnyvideos
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Done #LateNightMash (on my own feeeerkin hell) with some very good eggs tonights at 10pm on @davechannel . Check it out pls!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
York seems dead nice but I didn't realise its populace were living in terror knowing that Prince Andrew could just come into their houses at any time 🗝
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
The world needs to heal.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
I bet working in the golden syrup factory is absolutely banging. A state of pure delirium. Every now and again someone leaps into the vat and the others just watch gleefully as they get folded into the heavenly nectar. A very long way of saying I enjoyed a flapjack.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Great to be able to wear my own clothes to work.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
If anyone wanted to come to my solo show at 4.20pm on Niddry Street that would make me feel warm and lovely and grateful. I'd owe you a debt.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Well bloody nora! Chuffed doesn't cover it! This musta been what that goat meant about 'living deliciously' then?!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
3 years
Holy piss! We've been included in the Guardian's 10 Comedians to Watch in 2021. 🏋️🌭 They must've found out about our plan to steal the crown jewels. Still gonna do it. Still gonna do it.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Show me another B&B where the host loudly plays Wolfenstein 2 in the communal areas? That's what I thought.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Flip a dip! What an absolute pleasure to have Manchester’s VIP in the our silly show!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
2 years
Look who came to our late night sausage show! Only bloody @AndyBurnhamGM . Absolutely delight(ful sausag)ed to see him 🌭 #EdFringe22
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
Thanks to everyone who watched us on #pointlesscelebrities on Saturday. Except my uncles, dad and father in law who have teased me mercilessly. P.S. it's on Iplaya now!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
5 years
At a three year old's birthday party which is a bit surreal considering my hangover level.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
Had a really great couple of weeks in London. Had some of the best shows of our lives and done a lot of cool stuff. Currently on the train home, exhausted and watching @ThatGledhill flirt outrageously with the Free Gin man.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Yes, my wife is away for the week and I've left the oven on all night! So what?!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Heading to #Manchester unfeasibly early to prep for tomorrow night's @MmmSausage recording (available for your consideration soon!) Starting this beast of a day with my trademark 'coffee so big I'm gonna shit myself and have to spend the day wearing my PE kit' 🥲💩
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
I dunno if anyone else has done a comedy on this but sometimes when you buy a medium coffee in a shop its really big. Much bigger than anything you'd have at home.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
If this post gets 1000 likes I will post a picture of me with a big stick!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
An After 8 mint which is the size of a record sleeve.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
You know, I think it might be but you've made my week - and it's only Monday! 🥰
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
So you wanna mess with my family?
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
2 characters I'm doing for my son at the minute are: 1. Man who sells carpets (but is allergic to carpets) 2. The Curdled Knight: wears a suit of armour filled to the neck with rancid milk.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Want my ashes scattered in CEX.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
I love her so much and she's constantly impressing me with her talents and perseverance; but good God damn, do my wife be shit at keeping succulents alive 🪴🚱😪
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Had a lot of fun making this serious advert for #Yorkshire with some very talented lil piglets. Big love to @DaddySuperYacht 🥰 (espesh for not snipping the tortoise line!) Hope @NVIDIAGeForce don't feel like they HAVE to send us a 3090 🧐🥺🖥️
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Been sitting on this one for 12 months now 😡
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Tonight is the first rehearsal of a short satirical play I've been commissioned to put on in my village to celebrate a Roman festival. I shall be directing my father-in-law who has already suggested we can push the 12 minute piece up to "40/45".
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
A decent chunk of my time is spent writing 'Sausage' at the top of a blank piece of paper and I love it.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Anyone want these?
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@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
2 years
⚓️ ⚓️ THE END⚓️ ⚓️ Thanks to all that came down to @sohotheatre this week for the end of our tour. And thanks to those that came out to @standnewcastle , @thewardrobeleeds and @cphmcr ! It’s been a wild ride and we can’t wait to show you the recording when it’s ready. Stay tuned.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 months
. @21Soho - Are we getting paid today too? I'm down this week, so happy to pop in 🤗
@jlukeroberts
John-Luke Roberts
3 months
Tweets deleted due to payment received
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
We won an award and I'm having risotto for tea! Could this be the BEST WEEK EVER?!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
4 years
Throbbing with pride to announce that we've won a @chortle award! Thank you so much for the votes! Plus, it's the perfect opportunity for advertising that our tour is... CANCELLED 😭! We're currently arranging new dates (more on that shortly)
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Son got a temporary tattoo of 2 vampire bites for his costume at the caravan park and over the week they've sort of discoloured and look a bit like bumholes and now I'm too embarrassed to be seen with him. SOS send prosecco xoxo
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Any Edinburgh-bound comedians who are also into self-care: come and stay in my B&B before you go home! Breathtaking views, hot tubs and you'll be served breakfast by me; a fucking titan of the industry 👀
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
This is 60.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
My 6 year old's started doing live commentary on our marital spats: "Oof, Daddy's feisty today! What a feisty Daddy!" and "Dad's busted!" 😭
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
I’m off to the Edinburgh Fringe at Monkey Barrel to tell the true story of my incarceration! A show about ciggies, violence and tatts. Come! Tickets: Directed by @ImLeeKyle Poster design by @chhappy Photo by @edshots
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
5 years
Bleedin' Nora Batty who art in heaven. Tomorrow night, 11.05pm.
@HarryHill
Harry Hill
5 years
It’s @MmmSausage ! They will be on @HHClubnite this Friday! Join us on @channel4 at 11:05pm! #ClubNite
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 months
Saturday is the perfect day to run away, hide and listen to the first episode of Icklewick FM on BBC Sounds... 👂👂👂
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
Holy heck, we've been nommed for a Chortle award!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
4 years
SHIT AN ACTUAL PISS! Look at this 👇 What a treat.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
I'm Chris Cantrill and I believe in ghosts and I crush walnuts with my hands. Night.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Current mood:
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
8 months
We've put our grotty little special up on YourTube for free! Have a peep. I'm very proud of it! A gargantuan team effort!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
8 months
To celebrate the coronation, we're releasing our critically acclaimed show The Delightful Sausage: Ginster's Paradise on YouTube for FREE! Filmed in 4K, so you can see just how much make-up Chris is wearing (spoiler alert: bleeping loads).
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
If you'd allow this old Nu-Metaller a moment of earnestness: setting up a comedy production company in the middle of an annus horribilis has been far from straightforward, but I'm really proud of @johnwinsagain and @ThatGledhill . Here's to more exciting stuff in 2022!
@A_Lovely_Time
A Lovely Time
3 years
Thanks to all that came down for A Lovely Time last night. What a way to end the year! We’ll be back in February and you won’t want to miss it! Early bird tickets now available:
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
This was a lot of fun!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
1 year
About to say PASS on Pointless Celebrities.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
On a very busy train eating some shortbread. Still having a laugh tho you know me.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Two lil sausages prepping for the World AIDS Gala 2021. Currently on a train that's over 2 hours delayed but still smilin' 🚄🥰
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
Watching my son's karate lesson, knowing in my heart I could batter every single one of the instructors 🥋
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
If I had a time machine I'd go back to 1999, find Sum 41 and give them a big thumbs up from all of us.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Shall I pick up this phone and say "ghosts are real", for a laugh?
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
8 months
Just left Euston an hour later than planned cos our country can't do infrastructure. The only thing that will make me happy is for everyone to watch this special I guess x
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
8 months
To celebrate the coronation, we're releasing our critically acclaimed show The Delightful Sausage: Ginster's Paradise on YouTube for FREE! Filmed in 4K, so you can see just how much make-up Chris is wearing (spoiler alert: bleeping loads).
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
How can a parent be this neglectful yet still so hot?!?
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 months
Rural Concerns is out TODAY! We've had a laugh making it and you can listen to the first 3 eps. 💥💥💥
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
Really made up to have written some sketches for this brilliant new show on CBBC. It's from the amazingly talented @joseph_elliott and @RichardDCaine . You might also have noticed that it also stars Nana @ThatGledhill (in her true form). Kicks off Saturday morning at 8.45am!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
7 months
Had a really brilliant evening supporting @LucyABeaumont at Lancaster's @grandcomedy last night. It was so much fun it almost made up for the fact I absolutely minced a hare driving to the gig 🐇🚙☠️
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Brilliant time at the @jainedwardsshow last night. This is my favourite pic of @jacklewisevans ever 🥰🔨
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
"Can you mute yourself?" Is gonna burn so much harder when we return to the age of face-to-face meetings.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
**Advert pitch** Kids smashing up a phone box. Man with a belly from Yorkshire jumps off his skateboard: "Why don't you go to the fucking cinema, man?" Titles: cinema is back. Why don't you go?
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Absolute belter of a week, plus I've just found a tree that looks like it has two balls! #blessed
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
2 years
Lovely week for us naughty little muck tubs. Thanks everyone for coming! We're filling up and having to turn people away everyday so book in advance if you want a peep at our filth. Thank you thank you thank you. Tickets:
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
They say you don't want to fill up on bread, but I really do.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
9 months
A big 9V battery of an honour to open for @johnsfurcoat at @The_Lowry last night!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 months
Ep 3 of Icklewick FM is on @BBCSounds NOW! A personal favourite of mine, it's got absolutely WILD sound design (🎶 @jacklewisevans ) + a cameo that's us showing fealty to the King of Meaty podcasting 👑 + AMAZING turns from @marksilcox & @colinhoult 🍖
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
On the train again on my way to summat very cool!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
The worst bit of parenting atm is having to endure the coven of rude mums at my kid's swimming lessons. They sneer at everyone and talk too loudly about their boring lives. No, having a theatrical stage light from Next Home in your living room doth not make you quirky.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
A gig so good it affronted God who punished the whole world with a plague.
@jain_edwards
jain edwards
4 years
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
@MisterABK First thing you've put out that actually makes any sense.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Wish I'd left her on that step tbh
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
3 years
Happy Father's Day to me dad Chris. Not many daughters get to gig with their dad but here we are! Amy x
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
My wife left me a voicemail today and I'm absolutely livid.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
Lovely few days supporting @johnsfurcoat on the Northern leg of his tour in Newcastle, Barnard Castle and Northallerton. Onto York tonight!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
2 years
Walking is a glorious!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
1 year
Had a brilliant time doing my first ever weekend at @StandNewcastle . Amazing line-up and all the staff were great craic!!!
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
5 years
This is going to be so much fun! We're saying all these MAD ideas and nobody is saying no to us! SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG!
@MmmSausage
The Delightful Sausage
5 years
One of the demons we've recently conjured has managed to blag us a spot on Harry Hill's new telly show! If you want to come to the record on Sunday 3rd Nov (AKA Amy's bidet) you can use the code SAUSAGE and get priority. The line up is 🔥 and we'd love you to be there. #Demon
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
3 years
Got a tin of rice pudding because while the cat's away, her husband will eat rice pudding. A whole fucking tin of it.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
4 years
When my dad turned 60 I said "here's to the next 60" and he called me a nob head.
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@CallMeCantrill
Chris Cantrill
9 months
The rumours are true* - I’m starting a monthly new gear gig called GRUBBY COMEDY! We kick off on Thur 28th Sept with @Thephilellis and @mollmcguinness . First show’s nearly sold out but you can get tickets for upcoming eps here… *NOT the one about bats
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