🐏NEW PODCAST🐏
Rural Concerns is a brand new podcast from born again country gent Chris Cantrill and city slicking crypto magnate
@SunilDPatel
.
Drops Mon 8th April 📓
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Absolutely blown away to have been nominated for the main award AGAIN! Immensely proud of Nowt But Sea and our talented team of misfits. Couldn't be happier for DOUBLE nominated powerhouse,
@ThatGledhill
. I am incredibly... Proud?! God. Delete. Delete tweet. Hot Nigel Farage pics
Excited to be working on a brand new
@MmmSausage
show for BBC Radio 4. I know we're about 18 months off AI being able to do all this stuff, so I'm just going to enjoy it.
Back in my day we didn't even have 'exams'. We didn't even have 'jobs'. No 'houses', no 'lino'. Weren't even any matter. All we had was a sorta membrane made of antimatter. Beneath that? Graft, lad. Nowt but graft.
It’s that time of year where you have to write a blurb for a show which definitely doesn’t exist yet:
‘Want to know how to make a UFO? Okay, now I’ve got your attention; Yorkshire’s biggest toddler is BACK with a true story about stolen pirate gold and having too many feelings.’
Manchester peeps! Adult Film Club is a new night of Comedy Short Films hosted by me and
@mrSamOLeary
. Ft. Jamie Demetriou,
@alanresnicks
,
@mmmsausage
& more! Curated worldwide oddities and homegrown talent at
@GRUBMCR
. Only 3 bloody quids!
🎟️
My son called me a "big fat pig" (as a laugh!) And then my 3 year old niece started copying him (adorable) and now they're both chasing me around screaming it and it's totally fine and I'm probably laughing more than they are tbh! 😆🤣🥲😪😭
Had a brilliant time at the
@LondonPodFest
titting about with an amazing cast in
@beefanddairy
Live!
Huge honour to be invited by
@benpartridge
who wrote such a funny show and I will never, ever, ever forget the taste of Glando
🙆♀️🍎🙆♂️
Merry Beefhead! 🐮 New episode out today!
Featuring darts legend Kenny Baritone (
@CallMeCantrill
) and Yvonne Sampson, mother to Britain's biggest baby (
@ThatGledhill
)
Also a new Beefhead carol from stage legend Roger Westcott LeMaigrelay (
@atomcrowley
)
This pic says: You can't tame a tornado. Just strap in and enjoy the ride 😎
(If anyone was planning to see my show today would be lovely and helpful. 4.20pm,
@BarrelComedy
)
York seems dead nice but I didn't realise its populace were living in terror knowing that Prince Andrew could just come into their houses at any time 🗝
I bet working in the golden syrup factory is absolutely banging. A state of pure delirium. Every now and again someone leaps into the vat and the others just watch gleefully as they get folded into the heavenly nectar. A very long way of saying I enjoyed a flapjack.
Holy piss! We've been included in the Guardian's 10 Comedians to Watch in 2021. 🏋️🌭
They must've found out about our plan to steal the crown jewels.
Still gonna do it. Still gonna do it.
Thanks to everyone who watched us on
#pointlesscelebrities
on Saturday. Except my uncles, dad and father in law who have teased me mercilessly. P.S. it's on Iplaya now!
Had a really great couple of weeks in London. Had some of the best shows of our lives and done a lot of cool stuff.
Currently on the train home, exhausted and watching
@ThatGledhill
flirt outrageously with the Free Gin man.
Heading to
#Manchester
unfeasibly early to prep for tomorrow night's
@MmmSausage
recording (available for your consideration soon!)
Starting this beast of a day with my trademark 'coffee so big I'm gonna shit myself and have to spend the day wearing my PE kit' 🥲💩
I dunno if anyone else has done a comedy on this but sometimes when you buy a medium coffee in a shop its really big. Much bigger than anything you'd have at home.
2 characters I'm doing for my son at the minute are:
1. Man who sells carpets (but is allergic to carpets)
2. The Curdled Knight: wears a suit of armour filled to the neck with rancid milk.
I love her so much and she's constantly impressing me with her talents and perseverance; but good God damn, do my wife be shit at keeping succulents alive 🪴🚱😪
Had a lot of fun making this serious advert for
#Yorkshire
with some very talented lil piglets.
Big love to
@DaddySuperYacht
🥰 (espesh for not snipping the tortoise line!)
Hope
@NVIDIAGeForce
don't feel like they HAVE to send us a 3090 🧐🥺🖥️
Tonight is the first rehearsal of a short satirical play I've been commissioned to put on in my village to celebrate a Roman festival. I shall be directing my father-in-law who has already suggested we can push the 12 minute piece up to "40/45".
⚓️ ⚓️ THE END⚓️ ⚓️
Thanks to all that came down to
@sohotheatre
this week for the end of our tour. And thanks to those that came out to
@standnewcastle
,
@thewardrobeleeds
and
@cphmcr
! It’s been a wild ride and we can’t wait to show you the recording when it’s ready. Stay tuned.
Throbbing with pride to announce that we've won a
@chortle
award! Thank you so much for the votes!
Plus, it's the perfect opportunity for advertising that our tour is... CANCELLED 😭!
We're currently arranging new dates (more on that shortly)
Son got a temporary tattoo of 2 vampire bites for his costume at the caravan park and over the week they've sort of discoloured and look a bit like bumholes and now I'm too embarrassed to be seen with him. SOS send prosecco xoxo
Any Edinburgh-bound comedians who are also into self-care: come and stay in my B&B before you go home! Breathtaking views, hot tubs and you'll be served breakfast by me; a fucking titan of the industry 👀
I’m off to the Edinburgh Fringe at Monkey Barrel to tell the true story of my incarceration! A show about ciggies, violence and tatts. Come!
Tickets:
Directed by
@ImLeeKyle
Poster design by
@chhappy
Photo by
@edshots
To celebrate the coronation, we're releasing our critically acclaimed show The Delightful Sausage: Ginster's Paradise on YouTube for FREE!
Filmed in 4K, so you can see just how much make-up Chris is wearing (spoiler alert: bleeping loads).
If you'd allow this old Nu-Metaller a moment of earnestness: setting up a comedy production company in the middle of an annus horribilis has been far from straightforward, but I'm really proud of
@johnwinsagain
and
@ThatGledhill
. Here's to more exciting stuff in 2022!
Thanks to all that came down for A Lovely Time last night. What a way to end the year! We’ll be back in February and you won’t want to miss it! Early bird tickets now available:
Just left Euston an hour later than planned cos our country can't do infrastructure. The only thing that will make me happy is for everyone to watch this special I guess x
To celebrate the coronation, we're releasing our critically acclaimed show The Delightful Sausage: Ginster's Paradise on YouTube for FREE!
Filmed in 4K, so you can see just how much make-up Chris is wearing (spoiler alert: bleeping loads).
Really made up to have written some sketches for this brilliant new show on CBBC. It's from the amazingly talented
@joseph_elliott
and
@RichardDCaine
. You might also have noticed that it also stars Nana
@ThatGledhill
(in her true form). Kicks off Saturday morning at 8.45am!
Had a really brilliant evening supporting
@LucyABeaumont
at Lancaster's
@grandcomedy
last night. It was so much fun it almost made up for the fact I absolutely minced a hare driving to the gig 🐇🚙☠️
**Advert pitch**
Kids smashing up a phone box. Man with a belly from Yorkshire jumps off his skateboard:
"Why don't you go to the fucking cinema, man?"
Titles: cinema is back. Why don't you go?
Lovely week for us naughty little muck tubs. Thanks everyone for coming! We're filling up and having to turn people away everyday so book in advance if you want a peep at our filth. Thank you thank you thank you.
Tickets:
Ep 3 of Icklewick FM is on
@BBCSounds
NOW! A personal favourite of mine, it's got absolutely WILD sound design (🎶
@jacklewisevans
) + a cameo that's us showing fealty to the King of Meaty podcasting 👑
+ AMAZING turns from
@marksilcox
&
@colinhoult
🍖
The worst bit of parenting atm is having to endure the coven of rude mums at my kid's swimming lessons. They sneer at everyone and talk too loudly about their boring lives. No, having a theatrical stage light from Next Home in your living room doth not make you quirky.
One of the demons we've recently conjured has managed to blag us a spot on Harry Hill's new telly show! If you want to come to the record on Sunday 3rd Nov (AKA Amy's bidet) you can use the code SAUSAGE and get priority. The line up is 🔥 and we'd love you to be there.
#Demon
The rumours are true* - I’m starting a monthly new gear gig called GRUBBY COMEDY! We kick off on Thur 28th Sept with
@Thephilellis
and
@mollmcguinness
. First show’s nearly sold out but you can get tickets for upcoming eps here…
*NOT the one about bats