Paying my respects at the savita memorial on Friday.
A man walked by clutching his girlfriend and loudly sneered "it's a bit over the top".
His girlfriend looked back at me and I realised I was staring in to eyes of someone who's been faking orgasms for a couple of months
Wait wait wait
#WildMountainThyme
is based on a play called outside Mullingar? Mountains? The Flipping Sea? Ridey Men? How far outside Mullingar is this place?
Needs to be a massive documentary on the financial abuse of pop stars from the 90s.
Something is going on there.
Also on the treatment of X factor contestants. It's fucked up.
The Prime Minister
@BorisJohnson
arriving with wife Carrie at St Paul’s Cathedral for the Platinum Thanksgiving Service is booed by some in the crowd
@BBCNews
I've been pressured for years and years.
Don't DM me today unless you're a woman in comedy.
I'm spent, I can't hold your hand anymore.
I'm not responsible for any of this don't involve me, I'm opting out, I felt I didn't have that choice because of my gender but I do.
Tara Flynn deserves every penny of that fundraiser and fuck anyone that begrudges her that.
I know the woman and she has sacrificed more then you'll ever know.
She was this country's punching bag for 3 years. I don't know how anyone could take what she took and remain unbroken.
So I made a thread of a disastrous DM slide from a fella called Olly
Fair warning, he gets a bit nasty but it's a long saga.
Instastories give you the chance to soundtrack the pictures. So just imagine limp bizkit as the soundtrack. Enjoy xxx
Huli in Mullingar are serving Christmas dinner to people free of charge on Christmas Day from 1pm -3pm.
It's for anyone that needs a meal and company that day.
I'm helping out and they're looking for someone to do a bit of music for the patrons.
Anyone know anyone?
Hi, I see you've made a complaint about our company on Twitter. Could you DM us your reference number and a novella on your terrible experience with us. So we can copy and paste apologies to you while maintaining we hold no responsibility.
Thanks,
First Name
I'm on the cover of Life magazine being honest about the scourge of English sausages.... Only messing it's sexism in comedy. Xxxx
Thanks
@liadanhynes
for a lovely interview.
I tweeted a joke implying wankers have cheese boards.
It was a comment I said in jest, one that I don't truly believe.
However the mob has spoken and I'm packing my bags for cancel island.
Comedy is dead, look out for my Patreon.
I'm very angry over the mother and baby homes.
Everything I want to say feels redundant yet I want people to know I'm angry because they relied on people being silent.
It's weird feeling.
Just landed in Dublin. The whiff of Lizzo sadness hits me when I step on the runway.
It's intense and I know my country is in pain right now.
Sending prayers.
I've just done a gig with the guilty feminist in the palladium in London and I've no joy. I'm surrounded by fantastic people but I can't wait to get back to Ireland. My head is stuck in my phone watching my country fight for women. I'm overwhelmed. Repeal this thing.
Some children were vaping on the top deck of the bus, the bus driver came upstairs and said "were you smoking?" The head child said "yeah, now bounce, bossman".
The bus is now parked and waiting for the police.
The child remains unbothered vaping.
I need to harness this energy
You won’t drag me into your weird, obsessive little culture war, mate. I wrote a message in solidarity of a group who’s life expectancy ranges in the 30’s solely due to murder and suicide (is it any wonder). Is your back not *aching* from bending to punch so fucking low.
Right Paddy's Day is a big one
We're doing a massive
#CovideoParty
with
@ExtraOrdFilm
@NetflixUK
premiere. 9pm GMT with a live seance on Instagram after.
The dress code is Irish or ghosty. Prize for best dressed and a monster poll (16 choices) for Wednesday's movie. 🇮🇪👻RT x
Where were ye when Diana died?
I was 8 in Mullingar, saw the newsreader crying on GMTV. Woke my dad up like a royal announcer "Princess Diana is dead" first time I saw him cry "not her, not now" I was like what did my dad know about her?
#CovideoParty
Dorothy Perkins looks like it's going. Debenhams gone.
Marks are the only lads that stock sizes for fat women on the Irish high street?
We'll be cavorting in bin bags, weaving multi packs of knickers from ivy, foraging for bras in the undergrowth.
I'm watching house of Gucci in a posh cinema on my own.
I brought my own flask of tea and microwaved popcorn. I feel like I've broken into someone's mansion to watch a film.
Which chain restaurant/hotel/shop do you feel a strangely strong reaction to?
I love premier inns. I love the room design, the pink strip light on the headboard, the plug location, HDMI port, the bed, the bar stool bedside table, the big stuffed cylinder. It's wonderful.
Look at these heroes, passers-by and
@RadQueersResist
. They spent the afternoon outside the rotunda hospital blocking those prolife lads banners from view. They are champs!
We're watching Legally Blonde on netflixuk tonight at 9pm GMT.
Get snacks and get tweeting on
#CovideoParty
let's watch it together alone. Gonna do an instalive after and we'll have a big chat with comedian guests…
Loads of pro-pirate-actor-man twitter accounts stopped tweeting June 2022.
It looks like someone paid for that woman to get destroyed on the internet.
That sounds illegal, it should be.
I love Melissa McCarthy so much that even when it's a shit film, I'm just happy to zone out, think of her improvising, enjoying herself and getting her money.
I'm going to sleep on this good feeling and not look at the news. Night night x