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@614clinton

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Former LEO, New Mexico swat operator. Don't worry, if you heard the shot you were not the target.

United States
Joined January 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@614clinton
Clinton
2 days
A fireman was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fireman's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog…
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@614clinton
Clinton
3 months
I heard a story once about a teacher who took a fish out of its bowl and left a classroom of children as it flopped around. He told them that if anyone left their seat, they would be expelled. All of the children sat and watched as the fish flopped around gasping for air. No…
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@614clinton
Clinton
10 months
On The 14th of June 1946 a baby boy was born In the Jamaica district of Queens, New York. In 1995 his car had a flat tire. A black man walking by noticed the owner was wearing a suit, so he stepped in and fixed the flat. "How can I repay you?" asked the gentleman. "My wife…
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@614clinton
Clinton
1 year
I stopped a vehicle for a minor traffic violation. When I made contact with the driver I learned he did not have a valid driver's license and was in the United States illegally from Mexico. I placed him under arrest and called ice to see if they wanted to deport him. I called…
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@614clinton
Clinton
11 months
Listen up gun owners!! If the IRS or police come to your house..... Know your rights!! 1) Never answer any questions. Example: Hello, I'm IRS agent Smith. We would like to verify a handgun purchase that you made at ABC gun store. Your Response - I don't answer questions.…
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@614clinton
Clinton
7 months
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does…
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@614clinton
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7 months
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man. "Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!" "Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have…
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@614clinton
Clinton
8 months
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him. IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them." BOAT OWNER: "Well, there's Clarence, my deck hand, he's been with me for 3 years. I…
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@614clinton
Clinton
11 months
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man. "Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!" "Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have…
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@614clinton
Clinton
8 months
The donkey told the tiger, “The grass is blue.” The tiger replied, “No, the grass is green.” The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, so they approached the lion. As they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started…
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@614clinton
Clinton
9 months
Oh this is getting good.... #614clinton #RichMenNorthOfRichmond
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@614clinton
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11 months
The year was 1956. A five year old girl was on her way home from school. She was dropped off in front of her house by the school bus. She had about a hundred yards to walk to her rural farmhouse in Mesa, Arizona but she never made it. Her parents and the police searched…
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@614clinton
Clinton
11 months
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him. IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them." BOAT OWNER: "Well, there's Clarence, my deck hand, he's been with me for 3 years. I…
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@614clinton
Clinton
4 months
I live in constant fear that if Donald Trump is re-elected he will deport my mother-in-law who works at 2763 E. Windshire Blvd. She gets off at 6:00 pm and drives a green chevy. #614clinton
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@614clinton
Clinton
10 months
joe looked at jill, chuckled and said "You know I could throw $1,000 dollar bill out the window right now and make someone very happy." jill shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people very happy." Hearing their…
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@614clinton
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6 months
Mike Johnson destroys Mayorkas "We've concluded you are doing this intentionally." #614clinton
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@614clinton
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8 months
Hilarious 🤣 Trump and Son #614clinton
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@614clinton
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1 year
After getting burned out working the night shift I switched to days. My first day shift- I was dispatched to a local convenience store for possible narcotics activity in the parking lot. When I arrived I noticed a male subject matching the description talking to another male…
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@614clinton
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2 months
A marine wearing a Trump hat boarded a train on his way home from deployment. The train was quite crowded, and the marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed middle-aged African American woman, but when he got there he saw…
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@614clinton
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2 months
Remember during the height of COVID, when they told us all the hospitals were full? My daughter was an EMT in Arizona during that time period and was inside many different hospitals across Arizona. She said every hospital she went to was empty. She also said all of them had…
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@614clinton
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5 months
A muslim, a transvestite, a rapist and a serial killer all walk into a church. #614clinton
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@614clinton
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10 months
For the past 27 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. Last anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy. For a week, I was diligent always capping the toothpaste. I was expecting my wife to thank me,…
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@614clinton
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8 months
Years ago I lived in the mountains in New Mexico. The elevation there was around 7,200 feet, and In the winter it would get as cold as -20°. My only source of heat was a wood burning stove. I worked the night shift, and so I wouldn't get home until around 10:00 am in the…
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@614clinton
Clinton
9 months
Jim Mooney had been retired for a few years when suddenly he received a summons one day from the IRS. He’s been selected randomly for a tax audit, so he decides it might be wise if he takes his attorney with him. Unsurprised by the attorney’s presence, the IRS auditor explains…
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@614clinton
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10 months
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter,…
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@614clinton
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9 months
A millennial had this to say about generation X. I don't mess around with anyone over 42, they are built different. Their families had them formally trained in something by the time they were two. They had keys to the house by age five. They could cook full meals at age…
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@614clinton
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7 months
If you were raised on bologna, drank pepsi, played in the dirt, got your butt whooped, had three TV channels with tin foil on a set of rabbit ears, school started with the pledge of allegiance, had a bedtime, rode in the back of pickup trucks, recorded songs from the radio using…
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@614clinton
Clinton
20 days
Are you privileged? Privilege is wearing $300 headphones while living on public assistance. Privilege is having a smartphone with a data plan which you receive no bill for. Privilege is wearing $200 sneakers when you've never had a job. Privilege is living in public…
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@614clinton
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11 months
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.... During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the…
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@614clinton
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2 months
A homosexual muslim, a cross dresser, a rapist and a serial killer walk into a church and sit down in the front row. #614clinton
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@614clinton
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10 months
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would…
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10 months
Biden rated 5th best president in U.S. history. From a total of 46 U.S. presidents: Biden is rated as the fifth best. The polling public relations office released this statement. "After 3 years in office, Americans have rated President Biden the fifth best president ever."…
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@614clinton
Clinton
6 months
This is what our southern border should look like. #614clinton
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11 months
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" because she…
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@614clinton
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10 months
An elderly couple was traveling by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to get a room. They only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk…
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@614clinton
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9 months
Yesterday when the Martha Vineyards story broke, the news reported that Barack Obama made the 911 from inside his home. By late afternoon they changed that to the Obama's weren't even in the country..... Then by late evening, the Obama's were on the property. Nothing to see…
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@614clinton
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5 months
This is hilarious 😂😆 #614clinton
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@614clinton
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8 months
A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza... CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE:…
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10 months
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the very first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this father?" The father,…
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@614clinton
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10 months
TikTok is on fire. 🔥 I've never seen so many black folks rally around patriotism, white people and country music. They are woke and pissed at the hate and racism being spewed by liberal democrats. If anyone is going to be able to unite us and end racism, it will be the black…
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@614clinton
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3 months
My dog bit my wife, so I had to put her down. 😭🙏 #614clinton
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10 months
A married couple never fought, not even once in 25 years of marriage. A friend of the couple asked, "How is that even possible?" Husband replied, "Well, we went to a ranch for our honeymoon. While horse riding, my wife's horse jumped and my wife fell off. She got up and…
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@614clinton
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8 months
Donald Trump sold out America! He laundered money through Ukraine, took bribes, showered with his daughter, touched little kids inappropriately and bragged about getting the prosecutor who was investigating his son fired on national television. His son, Don Jr. fraudulently…
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@614clinton
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11 months
A frantic young blonde calls out a mayday. "My pilot has had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly." She hears a voice over the radio saying, "This is air traffic control and I hear you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the…
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@614clinton
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5 months
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does…
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5 months
A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened. He said, "They crashed near my farm, so I buried all of them. One of the police officers ask with shock, "Are you sure they were all dead?" The farmer…
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7 months
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter,…
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@614clinton
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11 months
I was on my way to work in my marked unit. It was a two lane highway and I was cruising at the posted 55 mph speed limit. There were several vehicles behind me and nobody wanted to pass for obvious reasons. Then out of nowhere a small passenger vehicle went flying past me.…
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@614clinton
Clinton
7 years
This Is How Ronald Reagan Handled Protesters!! @Lrihendry #VeteransDay #TrumpRiot @realDonaldTrump
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11 months
Growing up, most of my life I was discriminated against based on looks. Not my looks, but my father's. My dad had long hair and hung out with some really rough looking dudes. They were the kind of guys that would clear out a restaurant when they walked in. Women would clutch…
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@614clinton
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29 days
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Apostle Paul at the pearly gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?" Apostle Paul answered, "Those are lie-clocks, every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said…
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@614clinton
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10 months
We watched the left riot for 5 years straight. They looted, burned buildings, burned vehicles, assaulted, bashed in skulls, robbed, maimed, shot, stabbed, blocked roads, broke windows, murdered, terrorized cities and caused trillions of dollars in property damage. Don't you ever…
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1 year
@NadaRussianBot @RuthEBrown8888 Yes, Our (SOP) or standard operating procedures says we are are to call ice immediately upon coming in contact with an illegal alien. I followed the book and the rule of law exactly as it was laid out.
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11 months
I had a blind date last night, but I was worried what to do if she was really unattractive. My friend told me not to worry as there's an app for just that situation. It's called 'Mom are you okay' and it schedules your phone to ring just after you meet your date. If you like…
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11 months
Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color-coded." The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside is in alphabetical order." The third surgeon…
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1 year
@WolfHouseAK @FSUInSC Yes I got sent to internal affairs for being a racist.
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10 months
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened?" You look terrible." What do you mean? said the pirate, 'I feel fine.' The bartender said, "What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." The pirate said, "Well…
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@614clinton
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8 months
joe looked at jill, chuckled and said "You know I could throw $1,000 dollar bill out the window right now and make someone very happy." jill shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people very happy." Hearing their…
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@614clinton
Clinton
10 months
'Try That In A Small Town' Awesome song and video !! Hey patriot friends, let's show some love for!! @Jason_Aldean 🇺🇲 #614clinton
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7 years
Let's Make This Go Viral 🌏 Retweet If You Stand With Ivanka Trump!! #Trump @IvankaTrump 🇺🇸
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10 months
Stop letting mentally ill democrats control you!! - Light that wood burning fireplace. - Buy a gasoline powered vehicle. - Install a gas stove. - Plant grass, trees and shrubs and water the heck out of them. - Plant those garden. - Buy some chickens. - Take showers as…
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11 days
In September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a History teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building…
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6 months
A burglar broken into a home. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again, "Jesus is watching you." He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the…
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10 months
Husband: I'd like to report a missing wife. She went shopping and has not come back. Police: What is her height? Husband: I'm not sure. Police: Skinny or fat? Husband: Not skinny. Police: Color of eyes? Husband: Never noticed. Police: Color of hair? Husband: It kind of…
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6 months
An old farmer wrote a letter to his son in prison. "Dear Son, this year I won't be able to plant potatoes because I can't dig the field by myself. I know if you were here, you would have helped me." His son wrote back: “Dad, don't even think of digging the field because that's…
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6 months
So a guy walks into a bank in Manhattan and asks for the loan officer. The loan officer comes over immediately. “How can I help you, sir?” he asks. “I’m going out of town on business for two weeks and need to borrow $5,000,” the man answers. The loan officer tells him that…
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6 months
My wife and I went grocery shopping earlier. They had 18 packs of beer on sale for $10 dollars, so I put one in the cart. My wife said, "Take it out." I said, "Why?" She said, "We can't afford that." A little while later my wife put a $20 dollar bottle of face cream in the…
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7 years
Let's Make This Go Viral 🌏 Retweet To Show Your Love And Support For President Trump!! Are You One Of The 63 Million? @POTUS #Trump 🇺🇸
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7 months
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I make all the money in the family, so let's call me the bank. Your mother, she's the manager of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here…
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10 months
Today I met a nice old man. He was a double amputee with two prosthetic legs and walked with a cane. I asked him if he was okay because It didn't look like he was walking very good. He said, yes but one of his prosthetic legs was slipping out of place, so I helped him the best…
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2 months
One day a farmer went to a barber for a haircut. When he was finished he asked the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “I cannot accept any money from you, I'm doing community service this week,” said the barber. The farmer was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to…
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10 months
The driver, a young man in a Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a Calf?" The farmer looks at the man, obviously a city…
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9 months
An old Farmer writes to his Son who was in prison: "Dear Son, this year I won't be able to plant Potatoes because I can't dig the field by myself. I know if you were here, you would have helped me". The Son writes back: "Dad don't even think of digging the field because that's…
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16 days
A cowboy walked into a bar and there was a robot bartender. The robot asked, "What will you have?" The cowboy said, "A beer." The robot handed the cowboy the coldest beer he's ever had and asked, "What's your IQ?" The cowboy said, "168." The robot then proceeded to talk…
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8 months
On The 14th of June 1946 a baby boy was born In the Jamaica district of Queens, New York. In 1995 his car had a flat tire. A black man walking by noticed the owner was wearing a suit, so he stepped in and fixed the flat. "How can I repay you?" asked the gentleman. "My wife…
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Clinton
10 months
@tgunn2001 Can you actually show me a mean tweet from Donald Trump. The only mean tweets I see are from the hateful left.
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7 months
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened?" You look terrible." What do you mean? said the pirate, "I feel fine." The bartender said, "What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." The pirate said, "Well…
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Clinton
4 months
Last night I went to my company Christmas party. I had 10 beers and several whiskey's on the rocks. However, I knew I was over the legal limit so I did the responsible thing and took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a DUI checkpoint on my way home but since it was a cab,…
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7 years
We're 20 Trillion Dollars In Debt Thanks To Obama. We don't Have A Dime To Spend On Any Refugees As long As We Have Homeless Veterans 😡
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7 years
Absolutely Zero Evidence Of Trump Russian Colluding. Yet Here We Have Proof Of Obama Russian Colluding And Not One Libtard Gave A F*ck.
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4 months
This morning I woke up with a hangover and a black eye. The first thing I saw were two aspirins next to a glass of water on the nightstand and a note from my wife saying, “I made you breakfast and coffee. I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I…
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2 months
I heard this story about a professor who entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin. The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all…
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5 months
I'm ashamed to say, maybe it's pride maybe I just don't like asking anyone for anything I don't know. But, I was wondering if anyone would pray for my brother. He is 57 years old and has stage 6 dementia. He is a single father and his two boys take care of him and they both…
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3 months
@DuckDan57 Donald Trump has zero convictions of sexual assaults. Facts over feelings
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5 months
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff…
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1 year
I was on patrol one evening when I received a phone call from a female officer in another district. She said, "Why am I receiving a call in your district from dispatch on my cell phone?" I said, "I have no idea." After a couple of hours went by my phone rang again. It was the…
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5 months
I got kicked out of Home Depot this morning. The manager asked me what I was doing in the break room. I said, "I'm on break." He said, "You don't even work here." I said, "I just finished using the self checkout, so clearly I do. #614clinton
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8 years
[WATCH] Black Guy Destroys #BLM White Police Officers Aren't Murdering Blacks In Cold Blood. Stop Being Stupid!!
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6 months
I was on patrol one evening when I was dispatched to assist officers at a domestic dispute. When I arrived there was a male subject inside the home laying on the floor face down already handcuffed. As I tried to walk around him to assist officers fighting with another suspect,…
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Clinton
5 months
For those of you who don’t understand exactly what is happening in the Middle East and what’s taking place here on American soil, I’m going to break it down as simply as I possibly can.  God found favor with Abraham. God even called Abraham His friend. Abraham's wife was named…
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8 months
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would…
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@614clinton
Clinton
4 months
Enough jokes for the day. Let's talk about Jesus. How many people believe that Jesus died for your sins, he was buried and rose again on the third day? 1 Corinthians 15 1-4 KJV If so, I'm looking forward to meeting you in heaven one day! #614clinton
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10 months
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary…
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Clinton
3 months
Today was my first day working for Walmart as a greeter. It started out great but then a very mean, nasty, loud-mouthed woman walked into the store with her two kids. She was yelling obscenities at them through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual, I said very…
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2 months
Breaking- A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocked on his window. The driver rolled down the window and asked, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped the entire U.S. Congress arriving for…
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@614clinton
Clinton
5 months
My wife and I were at a married couples counseling meeting today. The speaker was asking the audience random questions. Then he called on me and said, "Sir do you know what your wife's favorite flower is?" Feeling kind of singled out, I turned to my wife and said, "It's self…
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@614clinton
Clinton
8 years
Ice Cube Accuses Hillary Clinton Of Waging War On Black People ⤵
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@614clinton
Clinton
7 years
Let's Make This Go Viral 🌍 Retweet If You Would Like To See Hillary And Obama Behind Bars For Violating The Espionage Act. 10YS🙏 #Trump 🇺🇸
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@614clinton
Clinton
11 months
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories. In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking…
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@614clinton
Clinton
10 months
A married couple was in a terrible accident. The woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told her husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin that the…
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