#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼ @wonnyjalsh Twitter profile

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

8 years

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

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@wonnyjalsh

6 years

@SonnyBeez Did this last year, the little guy loved it.

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Stranded in Glasgow. So went to see the Auld Wives’ Lifts, obviously. Gigantic boulders in the middle of a natural amphitheatre and bog, atop Craigmaddie Muir. Geological formation, I’m not so sure. A spectral atmosphere pervades the place, didnt stay long. @megportal

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

Just ordered my Steve Buscemi leotard

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@wonnyjalsh

5 years

#JacktheRipper ... it's already been solved. Read Bruce Robinson's book and realise why it'll never be covered properly on tellybox.

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Palatine Rd. Didsbury, Manchester @UrbanGoals

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Me grandad Herbert Walsh. In his army uniform here but as soon as they found out he was an engineer he was transferred to the RAF. Died in a bomber shot down over North Africa, aged 21. Buried in Basra, Iraq. Never knew his son, my dad. #VEDay Fuck Fascism & jingoist frenzy

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Excellent thread of people attempting to explain tonight’s high farce to Barry Glendenning...

Barry Glendenning

@bglendenning

5 years

Thicko at the back here. What does this mean?

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Old Moat Park, Withington, Manchester @UrbanGoals

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

6 years

For the first time ever I got through a full to do list yest: Ordered bank card. Got new SIM card/sorted phone. Bought new work boots. Few hours pricing records at Oxfam. Went to Post Office depot. Bought sardines. Nikwaxed boots. Put stuff in loft. Emailed Salman Rushdie.

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Always a double decker on Sundays. Sat up the front, pure cinema screen. The bedlam of Shudehill. #Manchester

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

First time at Crucible. Excellent crowd, friendly heads. Been to other tournaments & it’s a Barbour hell, lads dressed as farmers, etc. Not in Sheff. Thai kid can play. Good clobber too. Shame he didn’t get his 147 but we did see one as we left… #WorldSnookerChampionship2022

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Enjoying Bury Council being skint. Not enough money to send the weirdo fellas in the neonicotinoid buggies to poison everything in their way. Violas in the curbs, bombweed galore, all very Mockingbird - Walter Tevis. And loads more bees in my garden this spring-summer

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Collier St. Salford @UrbanGoals

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Went and got a pod @FloatLevel and floated in a watery, black void. Recommended. Thanks for the heads up @ra_bear

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

11 months

Chimney Pot Park (Langworthy Park), Langworthy, Salford @UrbanGoals

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

I aint much of a twitcher but, I’ve just seen a couple of goldfinch at the top of me street. A blur of colour. The vibrations of the yellow & red nearly made me spin out. #birdwatching

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

6 years

Now he's dead, yet another #TheFall night appears in Manchester. I'm glad I was one of the few to risk doing it while he was alive. The apprehension of him clattering through the door was there for the whole evening

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

6 years

Had a whirl on #AnthonyBurgess 's typewriter tonight. Hoping to imbibe some of the magic (and a Hamlet, and some gin). Olivetti Lettera 25 Portable Typewriter, c.1974. Design: Mario Bellini. Short & sweet launch of 'The Ink Trade' @anthonyburgess #Journalism

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Got an Italian tailored, cashmere mix overcoat for £2 in a chazzer cos there’s ‘whole’s in pockets’. It’s in fact a magnificent shoplifter’s coat - the stash in the lining - which I tried to explain to them, to blank stares. Gave them a tenner

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Exactly why I’m not back at work. Small firm but there’s no way on Earth I’m getting on public transport atm...

Dave Smith

@DaveBlacklist

4 years

Today the Office of National Statistics confirmed that over 200 construction workers have died, compared to 61 health professionals. When will the media finally start reporting the anger of building workers & our families? #ShutTheSites #stayalertmyarse

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Chorlton on a sunny afternoon. Completely unbearable

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

8 years

That thing with the diluted sugar works. 20 minute feed with its sucker mouth contraption & it became fully energized. #bees @SonnyBeez

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

Just played Frank De Jo Jo, Kelis, Crazy P, Alicia Keys, Beyonce. Customer: "Can we have some RnB please?" Im done.

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Poppin off in Prestwich...

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

6 years

I enjoy a packet of prawn Walker's crisps at lunch time, then I spend the afternoon digging soggy bits from my teeth with my tongue, when I feel a bit peckish. Try it. #FoodTips #Foodie

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Family a bit unhinged lately. Covid-style. I’m genuinely considering microdosing tomorrow, no-one’d bat an eye. ‘Oh Jon’s in a good mood’

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

I found Earthly Powers tough going when I read it many years ago, but if you stick with it it has a beautiful payoff towards the end. A work that queries & interrogates; and one which includes an all time great opening line... #EarthlyPowers40

Anthony Burgess Foundation

@anthonyburgess

4 years

"When the novel was first published in October 1980, Burgess received a telegram from his French translator, who wrote: ‘It is your Ulysses.’" New on the blog: Earthly Powers at 40. #EarthlyPowers40

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

6 years

I saw #JeffGoldblum in London once. Crossed the street next to him. All I could think was 'you're fucking massive, Jeff'. However, this statue in London isn't realistic at all. It's too big. They've made him out to be a giant. But he's just very tall.

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@wonnyjalsh

2 years

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@wonnyjalsh

9 years

Hiya @FoxNews Ha. Don't let facts get in the way of a good headline. You utter wallies

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

George the Tortoise

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@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Transvestite outside the Mercure hotel on Piccadilly asking everyone “Do you believe in the devil?” These are the greatest times of my life. #Sunday

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Getting me mum a chippy. Prestwich chip shop’s got a disco ball. Hercules & Love Affair on. It’s going off, in fact

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Lad outside the Xmas Market with a guitar and amp murdering Oasis. Peach

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Wales. Crap

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Calor Gas man on the frozen Bridgewater Canal earlier. With the roads impassible in Salford, nothing will stop him delivering Warmth

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Repair shop guard dog #176 . 10/10 softie

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Prestwich, #Manchester @UrbanGoals

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

I always used to consider "Children should be seen & not heard," to be an awful & barbaric maxim, then I worked in Didsbury & Chorlton

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 months

Montford St. Weaste, Salford @UrbanGoals

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@wonnyjalsh

2 months

Crofton St. Moss Side, Manchester @UrbanGoals

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

Yeez, @PANCHOSBURRITO large from the Arndale Market is the size of a baby. #Food #Manchester

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 months

Mam’s gone all out for #Easter

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

In the gang. I’ve made it. Blocked with 0 interactions

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Wus out gathering sage and this guy popped out from under the new hollyhocks, really quite aggressive and fat and yellow. We made friends eventually. #Toad

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Hindle St. #Radcliffe @UrbanGoals

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

8 years

As if anyone's supporting #Selby apart from his family, and even then... #UKChampionship

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

One of the pleasures of Publishing is R&D for each project. Currently, PASSING TIME by #MichelButor @pariahpress ‘George W. Jones’ Original publisher @MarkBattyPub ... my mate’s dad, very randomly. #currentlyreading #typedesign

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

Has there ever been a worse, more deranged cricket commentator that Ian Botham? #ENGvSA

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

NYE in a satellite village on the outskirts of Glasgow. Black balloons, Tennent’s. Unparalleled

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

1st press for my new project. With expertise from @anthonyburgess , Lisa @HejNousMagazine & @ra_bear #AnthonyBurgess

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Got bitten by a dog on my way into work today, on the Fallowfield loop. Grim. But it has enhanced my solidarity with the postie worldwide

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

I live 4 miles from city centre, we now have the annually predictable farce of £35 Ubers, no local taxis, scarce and overcrowded buses. Invisible hand of the market, etc etc

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Found some timeless UK bus stop graffiti this morning. Shows some artistic merit. Balls/heart is an interesting take

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Really good start to Season 2 of @badgayspod . Alexander the Great’s deep Whitney energy....

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

6 years

Champers out, Mound Stand, Lord's. 11.30am. #ENGvPAK

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Get in the bin. #Nazis

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

I see the long puffer jacket fad isnt relenting. Everyone looking like a 53 year old widower from Perugia, regardless of age or gender

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Like a lot o people, lockdown means I’v got to know my neighbours. Been doing yer fella here’s garden, today he offered me the chance to become a groundskeeper on a country pile just outside of Keswick. 80% sure it’s make believe, but it’s the type of nonsense I like

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

11 months

Pedestrianise Tib St. for Chrissakes

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Oliver has landed. #Caturday

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Hardly any bird song today. Eerie. They know something

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

#Manchester ’s the centre of what? Property scams? Graphene for China? Mosaics of other people’s art?

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Today, I found a twenty and then a cricket ball, within minutes of each other. Grasping for meaning

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Working in Clitheroe for the forseeable. Foggy today but I can feel Pendle Hill watching. Out there looming, inscrutable, ancient. #Lancs #Horror

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

10 months

A wasp is on the bus. We’re not a calm nation are we? Constantly on the verge of hysteria

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

I became a Dementia Friend a couple of years ago, just to get clued up and find out if there was any help I could give. We’re an aging society & we all know people who’ve suffered, or are suffering, from dementia. Now more than ever it’s an essential organisation for many...

Dementia Friends

@DementiaFriends

4 years

People living with dementia face so many additional challenges as a result of coronavirus. It's never been more important for us to understand what it is like to have dementia & to find out what we can do to help in our community. Become a Dementia Friend:

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

A mate & former colleague hanged himself just before NYE. Mid-40s, 2 kids. Sensitive & talented bloke, often a pain in the arse to work with. Few realised he’d been struggling to that extent Mental health provision in England is pitiful. Talk to each other might be all we’ve got

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Defund the Trafford Centre

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@wonnyjalsh

7 years

Just seen someone walking a cat, in a pram, in #Chorlton

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@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Hoping y’all have a merry psychedelic #Christmas

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@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Too hot in Mcr, can’t breath

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Langley Rd, #Salford @UrbanGoals

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@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Leigh #Leigh

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Been enjoying these. Short and hazy. Literary mogadon

MoLI – Museum of Literature Ireland

@MoLI_Museum

4 years

The fourth episode of Ulysses | Film is about to begin. 🎥 🍿 Follow Leopold Bloom in the search for the perfect kidney from 8pm at

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

People who ding the bell on the bus, then get up and say, "Next stop driver..." Psychopaths

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Went Prestwich Tesco for the first time in years. Baffling. If you’re gona spend that money why not just go organic? Literally insane prices. Always an eeriness in there, like you can feel the old asylum rising up beneath the shiny floor, somewhere beyond the too bright lights

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Oh god no

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Let’s ditch the idea that test & trace is going to be brought in in any functioning way nationally. It is a method of slushing money around to friends & family. The point from the start has been to let the virus go. Lockdown is disaster capitalism. Political class are untouchable

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Proper day out

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

#Oktoberfestival underway on the 45s @Alberthallmcr @AlbertsSchloss @paulaner_uk

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Day off, Ainsdale Beach

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

The Irwell’s not totally recommended, with a magnestium plant and sewage works still in use on its banks. But, happy days of quarantine nonetheless

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

7 years

If I'm at a house party, or gathering, or whathaveyou & someone pops Tune-Yards on, I'm out of there. No goodbyes, gone

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Mate’s just phoned. He’s sat in a pub in my suburb - Prestwich, waiting for Tommy Robinson to arrive, so he can give him what for. If he turns up in Prestwich he’ll either be ignored or laughed out of there, guaranteed. “Haha, nice one Ste, sort yer life out.” That typa thing

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Wrong-uns I associate with

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@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Prestwich Village

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@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Lancs vs Hampshire Southport The team of Mason Crane and Felix Organ, proper cricket names. Scorchio and packed out on a Monday, no less

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@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Proper #albumart

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@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Scatter my ashes on Glyder Fawr. Cheers

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@wonnyjalsh

2 years

Had a moment of clarity earlier and remembered I still had this all-time smash classic stashed at Picc Recs, for so long in fact that the price is from another era

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@wonnyjalsh

5 years

Bumpkin central in town today. People taking videos of me “DJing with vinyls!”

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@wonnyjalsh

10 months

This city is death

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@wonnyjalsh

1 year

On the day job today: chopped a starling’s head off, accidentally exposed a blackbird’s nest, saved two frogs and then found this. The augury, the omens… are not good

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@wonnyjalsh

1 year

Squash racket worked. Threw the room, just enough. Slightly off ambience

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@wonnyjalsh

7 years

I prefer the Megabus to Paris over the 42 from East Didsbury to Manchester. Endlessly long & horrific

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

3 years

Dam’s Head Lodge misty morning

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@wonnyjalsh

4 years

So far... Exhaust fumes, gas leaking from disused mines, microwaves, cosmic rays, too much sun, alcohol, phone masts, power lines, charcoal, coal tar, brown sauce, BBQs, fast food, processed meat, laptops on start up/shut down, mobile phones next to head... any more you can add?

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#J-Wo (Official) OBE ❼

@wonnyjalsh

4 years

Big year for blossom. Not the band, not the band.

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