white cat prophecy @whitecatprophcy Twitter profile

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white cat prophecy

23 days

Mormon prophets love to talk about the “seductive spirits” that lead “lazy learners” away from their faith. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of the moments in my descent into apostasy. 🧵

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 month

Did anyone else grow up playing “night games”? Where all the neighborhood kids come over and play capture the flag or something outside after dark? I’m trying to figure out if this is a culturally Mormon phenomenon or a geographic phenomenon. I grew up in SE Idaho

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

@PopBase Finally a bag of M&Ms that can pass the Bechdel test

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

“The gospel is true because the Book of Mormon testifies of it”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

3 months

Shoutout to my BYU economics professor who made a point of telling an auditorium full of 600 capitalism-worshipping business students that “immigrants don’t steal jobs, they add to the economy” and “the most important question we need to answer in economics is income inequality”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

When I was at BYU one of my friends left the church but asked BYU to stay at the school and pay nonmember tuition. They responded by kicking her out. I think of that every time a church leader goes on about religious freedom or respecting how people want to worship.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Jesus, staggering out of the tomb and blinking in the daylight:

klit klittredge

@klitklittredge

1 year

oh my god im back??

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Wondering how my life would be different if I weren’t assigned Mormon at birth

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Elon Musk buy the Mormon church challenge

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Every guy who leaves vicious misogynistic homophobic comments in my mentions has a bio that says something like “Husband. Father. Disciple of Christ. Just trying to be a little better each day. Go cougs!”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 months

BYU memes posted this and is getting murdered by the commenters, a 🧵

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Someone tell me not to change my name to Russell M Nelson and buy the blue checkmark, then repeal the Law of Chastity Please hold me back

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

In my town there’s an LDS church that’s been converted into a giant Airbnb and I have this dream of renting it out for a giant exmo party with y’all

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Wondering how my life would be different if I weren’t assigned Mormon at birth

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I will always be proud of the fact that six generations in, I was the one who realized it was was a cult and had the guts to get out.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

For the church to completely remove so many specifics from FTSOY tells me that they’re really wetting their pants about youth retention numbers

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

You either die a Mormon or you live long enough to see yourself make an anonymous Twitter account to process your religious trauma

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Oh to be a tattoo parlor in Utah this week

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

The LDS church’s next prophet is a guy who oversaw the literal torture of gay students at BYU, then lied about it.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Joseph Smith and Brigham Young once locked an underage girl in a room to force her to marry Brigham. Instead, she outmaneuvered them and raised hell. A 🧵:

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

BREAKING: The Savior has settled His lawsuit with the SEC for $5M.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

A thread of very Google-able moments from church history that you never learned about in Sunday School:

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

JK Rowling unexpectedly facing off against Mormon Twitter, choose your fighter

J.K. Rowling

@jk_rowling

2 years

It's like when Joseph Smith found the golden plates and nobody else was allowed to look at them.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

What’s crazy about Mormons being obsessed with free agency is I have never encountered a group of people with a more underdeveloped collective understanding of what free choice means

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

When you go through the LDS temple, you believe you’re going through an unchanging, inspired, celestial experience God planned for you. You’re not. A 🧵 of some of the gnarliest changes to the temple rituals over time:

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

One of the funniest things I’ve ever been told is that I would get more conservative as I get older

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Indiana Jones grew up in Utah in the early 1900s and was a Boy Scout. He also became an archaeologist at a time when turn-of-the-century Mormons were obsessed with the field. Indiana Jones is an exmormon.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

My longest and most batshit-crazy thread yet The Ultimate Thread of Stuff Mormon Leaders Have Warned Members Against, with sources :)

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 months

Let he who hath never covered up systemic child abuse for decades cast the first stone

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

10 months

All the states in red have a Senator who has been an LDS stake President that has been charged for drunk driving

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

11 months

I’m reading Ejaculate Responsibly and have stopped about 400 times to reflect on the fact that never in all my years in the Lord’s True Church (which supposedly cares intensely about the circumstances under which we bring kids into the world) nobody ever. said. any. of this

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Say something weird and controlling the church does, but say “my partner” instead of the church. I’ll go first: My partner convinced my family it would be better for me to be dead than to be with someone else.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Joining all the other anonymous accounts in doing a face reveal since Twitter is going down anyway

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I love nothing more than getting lectured about “listening to both sides” by a Mormon who only proudly refuses to read anything but church-approved sources

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Does *any* member of the church *actually* believe that an 8-year-old taught from birth to follow The Covenant Path™️ actually CHOSE their baptism or is everybody just agreeing to avoid thinking about that

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

The church looks and acts EXACTLY the way you’d expect it to if it were a manmade organization run by businessmen and attorneys.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Me six months ago leaving the church: the church isn’t true Me after six months of research uninhibited by the church: the church REALLY isn’t true

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

How old were you when you learned that the LDS church has a secret ordinance given only to high-up leaders and large donors that guarantees them entry to the Celestial Kingdom?

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

10 months

Exmormons: I’m so glad I made it out of the cult. Mormons: Hey! It’s not a cult. By the way, I noticed you stopped wearing the official underwear

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

7 months

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but “obedience” is not a virtue. It has no intrinsic value. It’s valued only by oppressors with no other way to enforce their will.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

3 months

Mormons will say “I’m fighting my demons” and the demons are just their own religion making them feel like shit for doing normal human things

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Mormons be like “I can’t believe the Catholic Church used to let people buy their way into heaven, what a great and abominable church. Anyways let me go pay my tithing so they’ll let me into the temple”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

How old were you when you learned that Joseph Smith wasn’t jailed on “trumped-up charges” but because he burned a printing press publishing articles about his polygamy? I was like 29

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

I told the stake presidency I was leaving in the church in the same conversation where they asked me to be on the high council. That was a fun time

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

@KaivanShroff WTF this was the most impressive moment from a president in my entire adult life so far

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

It’s fun to see the church slowly lose control of issues like modesty, tea/coffee, tattoos until they have to just quietly backslide on these issues or risk losing Gen Z entirely

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

7 months

One cool thing in Mormon theology is that God will literally send an angel with a sword to intervene if the prophet isn’t acting in accordance with God’s will. Here’s a list of all the known times God has done this: 1. To make sure Joseph Smith married other men’s wives 2.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

9 months

One way you know the LDS church is true is that God will literally send an angel with a sword to threaten the prophet if he’s going astray Here’s a complete list of the times God has done this: 1. To get Joseph Smith to marry other men’s wives 2.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Mormon friends/family: if you don’t believe in God, what stops you from killing people or doing whatever you want? Me: the implications of your question are terrifying

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

My mom asked me questions about my journey post-church today and just listened. My dad tried to argue at one point and she stopped him. He texted me later to apologize. “I should have just listened.” 😭😭😭

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

If I see one more person casually refer to the Ensign Peak thing as “incorrectly filing paperwork” my brain is going to explode THE CHURCH RAN AN ELABORATE, ILLEGAL OPERATION TO DECEIVE ITS DONORS FOR TWO FUCKING DECADES

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

If someone came to me this morning and said “I’ll give you a million dollars if you can guess what Twitter discourse will be about today” I wouldn’t have guessed “JK Rowling deep diving into LDS history in order to dunk on Mormons dunking on her transphobia”

J.K. Rowling

@jk_rowling

2 years

I've just gone to look it up. Eleven people claimed to have seen the plates, some of them related to Smith, but there's debate as to whether this was a metaphysical experience or they genuinely saw them. And one man was allowed to hold the box but not look inside it.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

6 months

In a matter of years, most Mormons under 40 will be drinking coffee. The typical member (of any age) will try to tell you that coffee was always a personal decision and never expressly forbid by church leadership or the word of wisdom.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I’m glad the church made the biggest humanitarian donation in its history. But it is interesting to me that it comes right after a series of PR crises. Almost as if. . .

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

This is asinine. The core issue is the question of how different generations of God’s prophets can constantly contradict each other on factual topics and still be inspired.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

I was raised in a cult. Sometimes it just helps to say that out loud.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

It never ceases to amaze me that so many Twitter Mormons look at a community of people who feel hurt, deceived, and belittled by the church and think “I think the best course of action to get them back in the church is to harass them”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

If you see missionaries, be kind to them. They’re being separated from their families, forced to spy on each other, denied basic rights, emotionally manipulated, and financially exploited. They need a little unconditional kindness more than anything.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Your exmormon support group is an echo chamber, my family tells me as they leave for testimony meeting

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Leave Twitter because it’s losing people left and right and seems to care only about squeezing whatever money it can out of people before it all implodes? Babe, I spent 30 years in the Mormon Church

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Just learned that the PM of New Zealand is an exmo, amazing

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

The LDS church loves to bash on infant baptism as being ridiculous and disgusting while they force 8-year-olds who still believe in Santa to make a lifelong binding commitment with God

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

One time a singles ward bishop told me that he could feel the Holy Ghost when he had sex with his wife and I didn’t have the heart to ask him how often his wife feels the Holy Ghost too if you get my drift

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I asked 300 other exmormons to describe why they left the church in one word only. The resulting word cloud takes a while to digest.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

It’s always funny to me that when somebody dies medically, comes back, and claims they went to heaven, it always matches whatever their idea of heaven already was You never see like a Hindu die, come back, and be like “holy shit you guys the Mormons are right”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

My parents: why do you think the LDS church is a cult Me: because it’s used as a textbook example of a cult by the guy who invented the framework to identify cults

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

A self-identified Mormon learning that his son committed a mass shooting in a gay bar and saying “I’m just glad he’s not gay” is a pretty apt way to illustrate the church’s overall outlook on homosexuality vs other “sins”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

We’re long overdue for a documentary about the cultiness of LDS missions.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Retweet if you were raised in the church and ever hoped you’d die before you turned 8 so that you’d get a free ticket to heaven

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

One time a mission companion and I were teaching someone the Law of Chastity and they something like “it’s going to be hard, I’m gay and I have feelings for other men” And my companion responded “we all do, but that doesn’t mean you’re gay!”

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

8 months

Boy math is having $150B in investments but requiring a widowed working single mother to give you ten percent of her income before she buys food

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

If the church can’t reach its full history they should at least teach some of the fun stuff

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Sure sex is great and all but have you ever tried not having sex for 25 years because a real estate company with its own Bible fanfiction told you not to?

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Turns out the best thing I could ever do for my anger at the LDS church is start an anonymous Twitter account and shit on the church relentlessly for six months

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Mormons see my tweets and assume someone this angry could never have been committed to the church. I gave my whole soul to the church. That’s why I’m so angry.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 months

One of my singles ward bishops solemnly told us over the pulpit, “you should be able to feel the Holy Ghost while you’re having sex” while his wife nodded along thoughtfully and despite my best efforts I’ve never been able to quite forget that

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

A friend at @byu left the church over the 2015 PoX. She went to the school, told them she couldn’t in good conscience stay in the church, and asked to pay nonmember tuition. They kicked her out. A few weeks later the devo was on religious freedom. I think about that a lot.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

He’d never admit it but the M in Russell M Nelson stands for Mormon

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

3 months

One of the hardest things to unpack about the LDS church is how dumb it has made my parents.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

7 months

All of Mormonism existed to bring us this, the funniest tweet in all of history.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

200 years ago a crop failed in Sharon, Vermont and now my parents are mad because I canceled my membership to an underwear company

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

One time Bednar came to my brother’s mission and did a conference with Q+A. When my [autistic] brother asked a question in a way Bednar didn’t like, he humiliated my brother in front of his entire mission. I threw away Bednar’s book the day he told me that story.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Family members: why don’t you think the Book of Mormon is true??? Me: because the events in it didn’t happen

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

LDS church: *makes tiny steps in the direction of greater inclusion* Oaks: I just want to reaffirm that we’re still as homophobic as ever

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

7 months

Mormons: by their fruits ye shall know them. Also Mormons: don’t judge the church by its culture. That doesn’t count.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I’d be less bothered by the LDS church if it encouraged its members to do more service that actually benefited society instead of things that just help propagate the church

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Was anyone else raised not to donate to charities besides LDS charities because “a lot of their money goes to paying people but with the church you know it’s being used to help people”?

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

In one Google search JK Rowling knows more about the problems with the Three Witnesses’ credibility than I knew as a believing member who studied the church for thirty years. What a difference it makes when you’re not taught to hide from outside sources.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I feel like I left the church and joined the human race.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

4 months

A lot of the things Mormons tend to look to as signs that someone is righteous are just markers of wealth

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

10 months

Holy shit, I did NOT have Matt Walsh publicly coming out as non-binary on my 2023 bingo

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

Do you consider the LDS church a cult?

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

My wife and I spent three hours last night talking to a friend who lived in our ward at BYU. It’s almost impossible to convey how healing the “I’m so glad you made it out too” conversations are.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 months

POV: you give more power to women than any other religious organization

The Salt Lake Tribune

@sltrib

2 months

LDS Church gives more power to women than any other religious organization, leader declares

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Who’s that prophet you still have a big soft spot for despite knowing that he was one of the most duplicitous and why is it Hinckley?

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Famous people you may or not know are exmos: - Kirsten Sinema (AZ Senator) - Jewel (artist) - Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Dent) - Jacinta Ardern (NZ PM) - Ryan Gosling (famous hot guy) - Christina Aguilera - Derek + Julianne Hough (dancers) Who else am I missing from this list?

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

A 🧵 of shelf-shattering moments from Mormon history you never learned about in Sunday School (sources at the end of the thread)

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

I’m trying not to make exmormonism my whole thing but I’ve been taught for 30 years to make Mormonism my whole thing, so you gotta take baby steps

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

1 year

Being exmo isn’t my whole personality but it is my anonymous exmo Twitter account’s whole personality. There’s a difference.

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

2 years

A thread of gnarly moments from church history that the Church wishes people would forget about:

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white cat prophecy

@whitecatprophcy

6 months

Re: Elder Ballard’s passing Everything else aside, he was the only apostle I’m aware of to: 1) specifically encourage members to listen to LGBT members’ experiences 2) use the acronym LGBT 3) explicitly condemn nationalism A very low bar, sure. but worth remembering.

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