Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things @uppityhobbit Twitter profile

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

7 months

My Etsy shop is . I sell mugs, shirts, handwoven wearables, painted purses and more. I can put just about anything on a shirt/mug and often do custom orders. Feel free to message me!

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

1 year

Me: I think I’m pregnant Doctor: you’re not pregnant - you just wish you were. It’s an ovarian cyst. Here. Take all these drugs Me: doesn’t take the drugs The ovarian cyst is 25 now and over six feet tall (he’s the dark haired one in the pic)

Mike Drucker

@MikeDrucker

1 year

DOCTOR: “I’m sorry. You have cancer.” DORK: “No I don’t. Debate me!” DOCTOR: “I understand if you want a second opinion. In fact, I encourage it.” DORK: “Sounds like you won’t debate the issue because you know you’re wrong.” DOCTOR: “I’d love to be wrong.” DORK: “Then debate me!”

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 months

I just climbed five flights of stairs in a parking garage…that’s my car over there…in another parking garage

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

2 years

Raise your hand if you have vivid memories of teachers who didn’t like you at all.

NEA

@NEAToday

2 years

Educators love their students and know better than anyone what they need to learn and to thrive.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 years

I’d like to report a murder.

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@uppityhobbit

5 years

@BruceABaldwin2 @HenpeckedHal I’m old enough- and mom enough - to remember that at 3 it’s called being creative. And it’s a funny story. If it WORKS for him and he continues in it- THEN he’s a brat and it’s not funny anymore.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 years

I didn’t mind that she stole my son’s heart, but THAT’S MY DOG!

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@uppityhobbit

7 months

Have you seen my bookshelves?! By this logic I can buy a metric fuckton of guns and still be part of the solution.

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@uppityhobbit

5 years

My beautiful Sasha died last night and I’m falling apart

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

1 month

This is small child thinking. “You don’t like what I like- so obviously you are BAD and saying this to HURT ME”. It isn’t Toxic Masculinity to not listen to Taylor Swift, any more than it’s Toxic Femininity to not listen to Rush (or whatever. I had to pick something)

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

9 months

@WholesomeMeme My 6’2” son and his 6’10” friend who needs that card

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

2 years

@ariesisking I want so much to believe that’s fake. But it wouldn’t surprise me that such people exist

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

6 months

@SWENGDAD There is a certain subset of people - male and female- who believe “but I was ANGRY” to be a legitimate rationale for vicious behavior. They are like Ender Wiggin going for the kill, but without a true reason to do so. EVERY fight is a fight to the death. It’s extremely

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

1 year

@historybythpint Hahahahahaha!!! Oh my god. I hope they don’t see this

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

2 months

Well let’s see. When the boys were 7, 5, 3, and 1 and their father was deployed…and all this lovely instacart and bring it to your car business hadn’t begun, yeah. I was that haggard mom dragging all four through WalMart because oddly enough they needed food.

Thomas Ludwig

@talpsufan

2 months

@Provokatov And why does the entire fucking family need to go grocery shopping? I don’t think my family was ever in a grocery store together when I was growing up, except maybe when we were on vacation.

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@uppityhobbit

1 month

Ahh but do you have CAR ibuprofen??

Danwise Gamgee Ⓥ

@PrivacyLawyerD

1 month

I’m old enough to have an upstairs ibuprofen and a downstairs ibuprofen.

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

I was today years old when I learned why spaghetti westerns are called spaghetti westerns

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

@Wejolyn 😊She’s a baby doll and spoiled rotten ❤️

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

4 months

It’s easy for men to get caught up on the “silliness” of the request “you broke up with me over THAT?” without seeing what the request meant to her. It wasn’t “say good morning” it was “show me you love me” HOWEVER. It is easy for women to miss out on many good things their man

Echo 🔆

@TheEcho13

4 months

She’s right, and this information is valuable. A woman loses interest when she no longer finds you attractive and inside of a relationship that primarily happens after multiple ignored attempts at telling you what she needs from you.

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@uppityhobbit

5 years

Lady stops my kid “I like your shirt!” “Thanks, which side would you pick?” “Oh! Um. Marvel!”

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

I have to say…seeing the table of Banned Books for sale at Barnes and Noble made me very very tired. Folks, if you can easily purchase them at any major bookseller THEY ARE NOT BANNED.

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

@SuzyQL Personally, I don’t hate them. I just don’t revere them either. They are HUMANS and make mistakes just like anybody else. I do, however, think a lot of them could perhaps listen a little better.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 months

Youngest is working for a moving company right now. Sometimes he gets cash tips. Today he got a CHAIR

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

@nodoomforyou

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

5 months

My pet theory is that they replaced the OG Fetterman awhile back with this guy, not realizing he had based views, and now they can’t control him but of course they can’t admit it isn’t the real Fetterman.

Jacob N. Kornbluh

@jacobkornbluh

5 months

Fetterman at Pennsylvania Farm Show: “I would ask anyone that believes in a ceasefire.. let’s call for Hamas to surrender and put down their guns, and then that would end all of the misery and the killing and everything… “I believe to be on the right side for Israel on this.”

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 years

@DaveSFoley @PrimeVideoCA Is Bruce gonna apologize for causing all that Covid?

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

9 months

Ladies, we can’t very well scream “No means NO” and then turn around and spew this bs. Yes I know she’s talking about Starbucks and not sex, but it’s stupid to tell men that we continually don’t know our own minds or coyly lie because we want them to be psychic.

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@uppityhobbit

3 years

I saw these in an antique mall today. AND DID NOT BUY THEM. That hurt.

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@uppityhobbit

1 month

Saw this on Instagram and sprained several neurons. Do not like.

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

@TheeDocHolliday I’m 50. I had undiagnosed ADHD/Autism. Is it overdiagnosed now and in some cases culturally induced? Absolutely But did it exist back then? Sure. We were just the “weirdos” “not working up to their potential” that it was okay for teachers and kids to bully.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

2 years

I’ve never seen Shaun of the Dead. Not much for Zombie stuff. But here we go…

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

1 month

Headcanon. Accepted.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 years

Oh man. It’s hard to pick!!

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 years

@NicoleFCarr Seriously. Because goodness knows we can’t let anyone, especially the children, forget about Covid for an eensy weensy second - they might start having some lighthearted fun and that is just not appropriate for the holiday season.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

4 years

I just described myself as “a strange woman lying in tubs distributing gifs” and I’m quite pleased with myself.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 months

If you want to marry someone… take a look at EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE and ask “if NOTHING changes, can I love and enjoy this person exactly as is?” If there is a quality that doesn’t work for you & you think “oh but surely that will improve once we are married? DO NOT COUNT ON IT.

nay🦋.

@fineassnayyyy

3 months

Women who are 30+, please give 1 piece of advice to us ladies who are 19 to 29 🫶🏾

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

@prolifejewess I had massive implantation pain - which the male doctor insisted DOES NOT EXIST. It was a bit too early for the pee test - and he refused to do a blood test because it was just my wishful thinking.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

4 years

Sooo @SarahCAndersen - how long exactly have you been psychic??

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

6 years

If you believe that people on the “other side” deserve any and all evil that befalls them and theirs, you are part of the problem. No matter what side you are on. No matter how right you think you are. Wishing evil on another is to be part of the evil.

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@uppityhobbit

3 years

I saw plant based popcorn in World Market

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@uppityhobbit

2 years

I’ve never seen Big Trouble in Little China. Tonight that changes

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@uppityhobbit

11 months

I made a pair! Like ‘em?!

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@uppityhobbit

6 years

Whoa. Seneca taking direct aim at Twitter today 😳 @dailystoic

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@uppityhobbit

10 days

@SWENGDAD Even a burka drapes over breasts. What are we supposed to wear? Michelin Man costumes?

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

So a thing happened….🥰❤️😭

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

Oh this makes me so happy

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@uppityhobbit

8 months

Youngest is watching The Court Jester. Fascinating to me that the suffragette mom from Mary Poppins was an absolute smoke show

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@uppityhobbit

6 months

Stole from @DeclanFinnBooks on Facebook

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@uppityhobbit

4 years

@BudrykZack My son: I Cannot do the vacuuming so that I can do the fun stuff because the vacuum attachment I prefer is missing and NO I CANNOT USE A DIFFERENT ATTACHMENT HOW DARE YOU

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

5 months

New Kwisatz Haderach just dropped

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@uppityhobbit

7 months

18 vs 51 Yes. I know. Age happens. But I like who I am now.

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@uppityhobbit

2 months

Not huge, if true.

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@uppityhobbit

29 days

I’ve parented one of the most stubborn kids in the known universe. There was not an incentive or consequence on the planet that would make him do something he had set his mind against doing. (You might think I’m kidding. Trust me. I’m not). Here’s the deal. Sometimes you really

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

1 year

@TheeDocHolliday My 81 year old father (a highly successful engineer) now realizes that he also is high functioning autistic. The educational system when he was young was much more orderly, making it easier for him to function in school then it is for kids now in the high stimulus chaos

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

3 months

Having a conversation about Dune and now I’m picturing a bunch of bene gesserit singing “how do you solve a problem like Alia” and I’m very amused

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

9 months

I hate these posts so so soooo much. “If it’s not yours, don’t mess with it” doesn’t change because you are sleeping with someone or married to them. And she doesn’t have a moral dilemma. She has a “I have been a monstrous high-handed bitch” dilemma. And I hope she soon has an

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

24 days

That last bit. The part I highlighted..😂😂😂

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@uppityhobbit

4 years

I have not had alcohol since August 1st. And even today when the little voice said “you’ve been crying all day...you deserve some whisky” I told the little voice to step off. I would like my gold star please. And maybe a hug.

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@uppityhobbit

2 years

She got new wheels

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@uppityhobbit

11 months

Gladys

Sarah Bellum

@tamsully12

11 months

WITHOUT GOOGLING Name a famous knight.

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@uppityhobbit

2 years

Teachers are HUMANS. Not altruistic deities. They don’t have the capacity or the time to deeply know and love all of their students, that’s ludicrous. They are humans with their own lives, friends, families, and problems - and teaching is their (rather stressful) JOB.

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@uppityhobbit

2 months

Treasures from the used bookstore

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@uppityhobbit

2 years

@BuckAngel I climbed trees, played with matchbox cars and Star Wars figures. Had short hair and wore my brother’s clothes. Got covered in dirt so often my mom was gonna spank me over it. Had to be shamed into wearing a bra. And yet I never doubted I was a girl. And I still love overalls😉

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@uppityhobbit

6 years

@JanaHisham Good god woman. Switch to decaf.

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@uppityhobbit

2 months

Because the gym is one place where you can’t whine or litigate your way to a share of someone else’s hard earned gains.

Panda

@VivaLaPanda_

2 months

Serious question: why is being swole right-coded?

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

My boy got a video of himself dancing last night ☺️☘️

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@uppityhobbit

8 months

Forget the Roman Empire. How often do you think about Harrison Bergeron?

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@uppityhobbit

6 months

Oh. My. God. 😳

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

I got to use my weird power at WalMart. No lie- I’m a Finder. This lady was anxiously scanning… “whatcha looking for?” “My cross charm. My necklace just broke” “no problem” I squat down. Scan for a second. Come up with a teeny tiny cross in my hand. It’s just a thing I do.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

2 years

@Slapmyassandcal @TheodorAwhoreno I think that’s what she is hiring, basically

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

@EndeavoursWake @Sidney65606346 Seriously. That bitch loves evvvvverybody

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@uppityhobbit

5 years

men. before you tell a joke/give advice/pay a compliment, I NEED YOU ask yourself THREE QUESTIONS: 1) What is your name? 2) What is your quest? 3) What is the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

7 months

“I’m telling you women do not have orgasms! No one I have slept with enjoyed it - women just don’t like sex!”

Polybius Champion🐂💨

@PolybiusChamp

7 months

Look mister I specifically said soy milk!

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

12 days

@fliceverett I have a Kit Marlowe too!! Here’s how she looked when we found her

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@uppityhobbit

4 years

You Absolute TOFFEE!

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@uppityhobbit

2 months

Hope Street ☺️

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@uppityhobbit

7 months

Made even better because I can hear the voices 😂

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@uppityhobbit

7 months

I just purged 20 pairs of shoes from my closet. Please clap.

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@uppityhobbit

9 months

So a young man at BasedCon was a HUGE fan of the Starship Grifters audiobooks. I talked with him for awhile. Did some of the voices. Later at the bar he was heard to say “I don’t care how old she is, if she does the voices I will do WHATEVER SHE WANTS”.

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Uppity Hobbit: Maker of Things

@uppityhobbit

1 month

I just got a bunch of Hatch Green Chile powder up my nose and now I’m seeing visions of myself leading New Mexico on an intergalactic jihad. Kull wahad!

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@uppityhobbit

2 months

Gotta say. Depression was kicking my ass for a few weeks there. But I felt it start to recede over the last day or two and I feel my sparkle coming back 😋

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@uppityhobbit

3 months

@SWENGDAD One of my autistic sons used to draw me pictures of me sobbing at his grave every time he was mad at me. That or write me death threats based on Yzma’s speech in Emperor’s New Groove

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

My god. Nooooooo 😭

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@uppityhobbit

4 months

@comfysarah And ironic that the same men will often be the ones saying “men cant read minds. You have to TELL us what you want”

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@uppityhobbit

10 months

I’m reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. Well. Um. Okay then.

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@uppityhobbit

4 years

Two years ago today I heard the strangest beeping sound outside my window...and look who it was! 😍

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@uppityhobbit

9 months

Youngest bought the bride a blade. She carried it in her pocket and used it I. The cake 😊

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@uppityhobbit

1 month

@hollowearthterf And then when she finally did have sex with him, she left instead of sponging off him and went to get her life straightened out. She didn’t demand his support for her pregnancy with his child. She only told him when she knew she was dying. and he was THRILLED to have his son.

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@uppityhobbit

3 years

FIRSTBORN GOT HIS FIRST POSTGRAD JOB IN HIS FIELD!!!

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

I just want you all to know I’m on the level

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@uppityhobbit

3 years

TODAY IS THE DAY! My amazing, bright, kind, talented, funny, handsome Firstborn graduates college today!! Hurricane Florence saturated his first year there. Covid bolloxed up his last. But he endured. And he held down one or more jobs the entire time. Couldn’t be more proud❤️😭😊

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

If you know, you know

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@uppityhobbit

4 months

Yeah so I sent this to someone. He loved it. 20 MINUTES LATER I noticed the bottom frame of the picture. 😱

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@uppityhobbit

8 months

So that’s 20, 23, 21, and 25. My spawn, ladies and gentlemen.

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@uppityhobbit

2 years

What do you call a completely unexpected piece of flatbread? A Naan Sequitur

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@uppityhobbit

3 months

I found a STICK

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@uppityhobbit

1 year

Saying goodbye to old lady Sadie today. This pic was four years ago when she was still healthy and strong. She was our first family dog, a sweet, shy girl who put up with our shenanigans with quiet grace. 💔