.chantal//RYAN @thoughtrise Twitter profile

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.chantal//RYAN

6 months

i’ll take “what is moral obligation” for 500, alex - award-winning game designer - countercolonial cultural arsonist - lapsed poet - a little bit rowdy

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Last Seen Profiles

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 months

this is such an interesting time to be alive. we concreted the internet as our second equal and primary reality but it's full of ghosts now we try to talk to them and they pass right through it's a haunted world of dead things who look real but don't really see us

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@thoughtrise

11 months

this is a really interesting post+thread that perfectly reflects my lifelong experiences being a woman in gaming spaces many women chiming in in the comments /r/GirlGamers is a really interesting and thoughtful subreddit, I really like it (thread link below)

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@thoughtrise

4 months

CEOs were paid, on average, about 21 times as much as a typical worker in 1965 today, they’re compensated over 344 times as much - over 1000% more than they used to be they take over 1000% more than was formerly normal and acceptable to the average worker sit with that

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@thoughtrise

3 months

i'm vaguely perturbed by it but more interested than bothered the death of individualised sites had already nailed the coffin shut on the Dream of the internet, so i observe this as merely an advanced stage of rot i believe we'll make a new, better place. these are death throes

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@thoughtrise

6 months

i was vaguetweeting weeks ago about a huge media org that fucked us over bad gave me exclusive content requests + deadlines, set up meetings then ghosted me & cost us 1000s of dollars i was going to keep quiet but you know what @PCGamer don't treat women like shit challenge

PC Gamer

@pcgamer

6 months

Celebrate 30 years of PC Gamer magazine with us in our latest magazine issue. Look back on three glorious decades of being your trusted source for all things PC gaming. ✨ OUT TODAY ✨

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

9 months

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@thoughtrise

3 months

im not saying thisll go away. our psychic dimension is haunted now. we've fragmented bits of ourselves, our humanity, into the digital ether. the shards echo but the internet has always been a fundamentally supernatural place. we simply opened a new gate. we'll learn to live new

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

i can't tell you how many times me being my friendly&playful self has resulted in a sense of entitlement people catching feelings is not a big deal, it happens it's the anger & lashing out that follows, the diminishing of worth when sex is off the table, that is a huge problem

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

1 year

now THIS is a person

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

7 months

currently living two lives: one paralysed in abject horror at the atrocities going on one functioning somewhat as normal as i keep needing to work, parent, maintain my mental health to keep doing those things but the horror. our language doesn’t have words. this is void.

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

2 years

excuse me this is cute as hell

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

seeing women as objects of sexual potentiality & objects of conquest by default is a failing of our society again, aint nothing wrong with burgeoning romance - i met my husband playing games - but retaliation against rejection being tolerated&normalised is fucked & happens alot

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

10 months

real talk: some of the literal worst game devs i've ever met are employed as at specialist universities teaching games they have no business doing that and institutions have no business charging students upwards of $40k per year for the instruction please be careful out there

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

8 months

david helgason, @unity founder and member of the board: "We, a platform service provider, failed to account to account for corner cases that would literally BANKRUPT OUR CLIENTS." i've literally never seen something so wildly incompetent and unprofessional on such a grand scale

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 months

if you're interested in interactive explorations of the internet as a supernatural and horror space, i'm making a whole ass game where you can do just that - @darkwebSTREAMER check it out 🙏

darkwebSTREAMER on Steam

Become an occult streamer on a 90s dark internet in this horror RPG sim. Experience a fully procedurally generated world and endless sinister stories as you grow your stream, surf the web, perform...

store.steampowered.com

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

2 months

so, so guys, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FOUND

$

@folmerkelly

2 months

this is your king?

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

27 days

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

"bros before hoes" is a really gross phrase in context of this (and is a common quote in gaming circles) feeling like it's okay to eject someone who rejected your sexual advances from a friendship circle -- and okay to ask others to eject them -- is egomaniacal

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

@ThatSamWinkler the actual fuck

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

people don't owe you shit. it's not a "betrayal" for someone to reject your advances. they didn't owe you anything. they didn't break rules. acting like it's a betrayal for others to continue to engage with them is sexually entitled behaviour and it SUCKS

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

2 months

my heart for this

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

1 year

guys is pink floyd going woke now

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

while im here, it also sucks when someone's partner takes issue with you existing in a friendship circle by virtue of your gender & happens a lot in gaming communities "my partner isn't comfortable with us being friends" is pretty red-flaggy, despite how common it is in society

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

9 days

daily reminder that piracy opens access to life-changing media for those who wouldnt otherwise have the means to access it piracy is anti-capitalist & primarily an egalitarian mode of distribution, no matter how much creators & industrialists hand-wring about it defend piracy🏴‍☠️

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

this tracks really good players tended to be secure & comfortable and chill the most reeeee boys/men tended to be low-middle of the pack, or hypercompetitive wannabe pros who couldn't crack the top "e-girls" came out of "girls being friends with boys who weren't misogynists"

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@thoughtrise

11 months

this is a really excellent and compassionate analysis of how men in particular can come to problematic interactions and dynamics with women who enter into their circles gaming together can be particularly intimate & those rare connections can be established more easily+quickly

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@thoughtrise

8 months

steam generated 6.6 BILLION DOLLARS in gross revenue in 2021 they can spend 5 billion dollars & have a billy & a half left over for the year they still take 30% of sales from tiny devs barely making rent keep defending them though as benevolent pillars of the games community

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

1 year

1/ i just wanna quietly say that i spent a year designing generative text systems specifically to make organic NPC dialogue i also refused a massive amount of investors+VC who tried to buy/invest in the tech partly because i was afraid of what companies might do with it

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@thoughtrise

11 months

me, the perpetually confused bi girl, being like, "well you may as well lock up all the humans then cuz apparently NO ONE IS SAFE" your gender should not have a default element of threat level & if you or your partner perceive gender as threat you've got some issues to work on

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@thoughtrise

10 months

i'm a bit tired of talking about my experiences being a woman in games lately because, people, i do way fucking cooler things. WAY cooler. but let me share a message sent to my game's email (listed on our biz card) from the show last weekend /1

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@thoughtrise

2 months

nah most gamers are lovely normal human beings who we work very hard for there is a small but very loud online subset of gamers who have main character syndrome who have convinced themselves that They Are The Many and devs are tired

Harry Samuel

@HarrySamuel

2 months

@heytred The devs actually hate their customers. Thanks for confirming it for us.

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@thoughtrise

20 days

i LOVED this about the show. the male lead in a combat role isn't some big tough guy, he's just trying to get through - but he's not a "wimp stereotype" either something i noticed in particular was his voice - frequently high-pitched and/or soft. it was so unusual to my ear.

relaxing jack

@meanunclejack

20 days

dont love everything about the Fallout show as a lore snob, but i think its worth mentioning that both leads are great, and that "constantly anxious to the point of visible nausea" isnt a personality type we tend to let young Black guys play, especially as leads

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@thoughtrise

11 months

i'll note that there are definitely women who enter groups with the knowledge of this "power" & who wield it intentionally & without regard for fallout gaming communities can be so toxic BECAUSE they can be intimate spaces for hurting people seeking connection and validation

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

9 days

i think the reason we see so comparatively little innovation in video games these days are that many devs think, "what does a video game look like?" and try to make that instead of thinking, "what could a video game be?" the way the pioneers did back in the day

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

a lot of people in these comments claiming a studio/game aint indie if it gets publisher money i don’t think people understand HOW HARD A DOGFIGHT it is to be a tiny unresourced team & convince a company to part with 100s of thousands of dollars getting funding is PART of dev

Chris Bischoff - Stasis : Bone Totem

@StasisGame

11 months

The term ‘indie game’ has become completely meaningless. I see people claiming games are indie because they have pixel graphics - but they are games published by multi billion dollar legacy studios. It used to be a badge of honour, now it’s a marketing byline.

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@thoughtrise

6 months

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@thoughtrise

2 years

@rliumd @CatDocMD I would argue sharing is not for Twitter clout but to raise awareness of what the lived experience of domestic abuse is like for some women. The more we share openly the more society is forced to comprehend the scope and reality of the problem.

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@thoughtrise

10 days

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@thoughtrise

11 months

this ego fragility is fed by our societal narratives & normalised by the regularity of such behaviours & our willingness to defend them "i was so nice to her" "bros before hoes" "she only plays for attention" "she's just there for your man" when we participate, we propagate

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

11 months

all of these issues are fundamentally ego-driven. fear of rejection. need for validation. protection against failure. insulation from competition. etc.

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

8 months

why do i often talk about the problem with games degrees? why'd i recently pull out of talking on a panel when i found out it was hosted by a university pushing their games courses? because i DO NOT BELIEVE in going $40k+ into debt to work in a field that DOES NOT REQUIRE THEM

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@thoughtrise

5 months

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

1 year

@AChillGhost my god i hope so also, "dispensed with a prepared text on the grounds that it was boring" i am using this as a form email response whenever someone sends me bureaucracy now

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer these orgs have so much power over us when they toss us around, cost us money, make commitments they don't keep, lift us up just to break our hearts we usually don't say anything because we don't want to feel their wrath in future it's an abusive relationship & i'm tired of it

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@thoughtrise

5 months

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@thoughtrise

6 months

oh no not the office building value

CNN

@CNN

10 months

Remote work risks wiping $800 billion from the value of office buildings in major cities worldwide by 2030 as the post-pandemic trend pushes up office vacancy rates and drives down rents, according to a new report

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@thoughtrise

11 months

def forgot to post the thread link:

From the GirlGamers community on Reddit

Explore this post and more from the GirlGamers community

www.reddit.com

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@thoughtrise

2 months

@Cyael i graduated top of my field in english and this string of words simply ain't it

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 months

@ScraneGames and bonus rubber duck picture! everyone wins on the new internet!

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer ive heard dozens of similar experiences from indies & we dont say anything because we dont wanna be "the problem child" we don't want other orgs to be afraid to touch us because we spoke up about being mistreated this is our livelihoods, we work years, we rely on their support

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@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer i am not going to protect whoever is running this shit. i mean, if you miss ROBERTA WILLIAMS in a historical roundup of influence you are not qualified to be calling shit in this industry sorry, that's the facts

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@thoughtrise

2 years

@rliumd @CatDocMD Keeping mortifying stories "behind closed doors" has been so much the problem in our society for so long. It protects the victimizers more than the victims in most cases (with glaring exceptions, of course).

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

15 days

(cw) this is a huge fucking issue. huge online moderation services across the internet, both in games & social media/community spaces, normalise and permit the absolutely vile abuse of women on bigoted grounds it's not normal or "banter" to make rape or death threats. do better

GigglingGhosty

@GigglingGhosty

16 days

Calling out @Xbox @XboxSupport and @Microsoft for their lack of empathy, action and understanding towards the female portion of their gaming community

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@thoughtrise

7 months

i’ve soent over a decade closely studying human cultures across geography and time this girl is right, we were NOT meant to live this way this is not freedom or abundance or security this is insanity and destitution and constant threat 9-5 is spiritual murder

🌈 Tess T. Eccles-Brown, PhD

@TTEcclesBrown

7 months

Gen Z girl finds out what a real job is like 🔊

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@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer so yeah, i was gonna be quiet and eat shit but then i saw this org talk about being the trusted voice and going over thirty fucking years of game history AND NOT ONE WOMAN LISTED IN INFLUENTIAL VOICES???

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 days

remember the brief moment in time not long ago where industry was desperate for employees & bargaining conditions were insanely good for workers? remember how FAST they clapped back, how quickly mass layoffs were organised across the most powerful companies? not an accident 🙃

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@thoughtrise

1 year

ok ok temperature check RT this if you think we need a Hot Ones show for the game dev industry 👀

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

9 months

omfg though :)

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer but i swore to myself when i was very young i would never let anyone have any power over me no matter who they were, what influence they had, what they could give me i'd never let someone treat me badly and eat shit it's been hard in this industry to retain that but i will.

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@thoughtrise

4 months

yall still out here ready to defend steam to the death over its goodwill&right to monetise whatever it wants however much it wants or are we ready to have the conversation that its fundamentally an exploitative company that doesnt give a fuck about the industry that sustains it?

PC Gamer

@pcgamer

4 months

Valve updates its Steam policy on AI so it can 'release the vast majority of games that use it'.

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

to be aware of the situation and to still stay silent is to be complicit. i reiterate - today's culture of video games and much of the money tied up in industry are inextricably entwined with the military-industrial complex as such we have a duty to speak up for the dying

Polygon

@Polygon

6 months

The Game Awards’ Future Class members demand awards show recognize Gaza crisis

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 months

@Glamino @pookleblinky LMAO 😂🙏

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

now since i may or may not be trading our game's media livelihood for this thread it would be badass if you would go support our game @darkwebSTREAMER grassroots-style by - following us on twitter - sharing with your friends + favourite influencers - joining our discord 🙏

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 years

@GDAU_ It is a delight to see such integrity and awareness in a society gone increasingly mad from capitalism. Thank you for taking a stand.

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 years

a love letter to @DanRyanOGRE1

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@thoughtrise

1 year

@EmilyVanDuyne @clhubes i feel like it's worth saying that my mum never played with me. she did so many lovely things for me. but she never played with me & i always remember it. that deep disappointment i play with my kid a lot now. i rarely want to. but i always remember that feeling and so i say yes

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

The games industry has built much of its fortune on the glorification and normalisation of war. We have a duty to speak up. Those who would prevent it are not just complacent. They are complicit.

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

3 months

@tyschalter

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer so yeah, as a woman who just got wrecked by PC Gamer to the tune of losing out on $1000s + mental health chasing their dumbass deadlines, getting ghosted after they invited us to the biggest thing we've ever been invited to (PC Gamer Show Top 25 Most Wanted Games showcase?!)

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@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer i have the privilege of not being owned by anyone, not being beholden to anyone theres no publisher here who can tell me to shut up (& maybe i should be afraid of them becoming afraid of us but fuck it, our game is gonna wreck shit with or without em & i believe that to my core)

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@thoughtrise

6 months

update on the situation: PCGamer reached out & we had a long convo. i heard & empathised with their reasons while remaining concerned about process we had a long talk about duty of care. i have hope this won't happen again. @darkwebSTREAMER will be in the upcoming showcase 🙏

.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

i was vaguetweeting weeks ago about a huge media org that fucked us over bad gave me exclusive content requests + deadlines, set up meetings then ghosted me & cost us 1000s of dollars i was going to keep quiet but you know what @PCGamer don't treat women like shit challenge

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@thoughtrise

10 months

this was a panel on "being a woman in games", by the way i cannot explain to you the layers of irony it is wild that every time i give a panel on what it's like to be a woman in games I COME AWAY WITH A BRAND NEW ANECDOTE. EVERY TIME. FREEBIES

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@thoughtrise

5 months

we don’t have to be the way everyone else is we don’t have to run our businesses the way everyone else does we can be the example, we can be the change. we can lead. (found on facebook, uncredited)

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@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer so yeah, i wasn't going to say anything because i didn't want to hurt my team i didn't wanna not have a PC Gamer article on darkwebSTREAMER i didnt want other orgs to be afraid but you know what

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

@pcgamer as a woman trying to change the industry, influence the industry as a woman who is exquisitely aware of all the hard work & suffering & labour of women who came before me in this industry as a woman aware of all the shit-eating we've had to do fuck it, i'm not protecting this

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@thoughtrise

6 months

did i ever tell you about that time i snuck my video game and a full occult ritual setup onto national primetime tv 😎

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@thoughtrise

1 month

really didn't think i'd see a full Nazi-scale holocaust in my lifetime... but here we are i studied Nazi Germany and the Holocaust for over six straight years. this is it, folks. who will you be in history? did you turn a blind eye?

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@thoughtrise

1 year

*nods severely*

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@thoughtrise

6 months

we're afraid of them? fuck it. be afraid of us. it's not hard to be decent. it's not hard to be kind. if you're in the position to promise an indie the world, you best be prepared to back that shit up. anything else is straight cruel.

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@thoughtrise

6 months

i want to clarify: we DID NOT pay PC Gamer any money. they explicitly told us we were invited, it was curated, we didn't need to spend money but i had to grapple with trailer rush fees & foregoing the merch we were going to sell at PAX and SXSW as Indie Showcase Award winners

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@thoughtrise

3 months

something interesting happens when you begin to succeed a lot a lot of people in your life stop celebrating victories with you the first couple, people tend to get really excited. but when it happens too much, people start to brush it off, leaving you feeling quite isolated 1/

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@thoughtrise

6 months

🌹 roberta williams 🌹 jane jensen 🌹 lori ann cole the sierra 3 who truly made me fall in love with video games. who showed me what kind of stories games could tell, how they could make you feel, how they could expand your understanding of the world and the people in it ♥️

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@thoughtrise

10 months

i cannot express to you how creepy feeling it is to realise that someone you briefly spoke to at your game booth is sitting in your audience while you're giving a panel and thinks you're exchanging meaningful looks between each other during this is how people get murdered

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@thoughtrise

2 months

@wdavis81x some millionaire dude i went to an event dinner with once looked me in the eyes and asked if i'd considered letting men into the Women Leaders In Games network then later came up & started talking about how men could provide "fresh perspectives" i literally laughed in his face

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@thoughtrise

1 year

in the first pitch meeting i walked into - with a large public company interested in acquiring mine - i was talking about the possibilities for emergent narrative & gameplay with the tech they started talking about how many of their writers the tech could replace i'm a writer.

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@thoughtrise

1 year

@OnFireSemmler Oh hey, forensic anthropologist here - you really need to study up on your science! "Male bodies" and "female bodies" are largely a myth There are common features, sure. But even looking at bones it's impossible to tell m/f with certainty Don't justify your bigotry with science

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@thoughtrise

1 year

i was horrified. i had never considered that as a possible use case beyond "boy this helps me, a lone writer, get a lot more done!" but not REPLACING people. it was about pursuing higher-level writing applications instead of getting stuck wasting time on "content padding".

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@thoughtrise

8 months

i need you to understand that successful indie devs are gods

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@thoughtrise

10 months

i would immediately assume i was being attacked by pirates

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@thoughtrise

10 months

the dangerous part happens when people think there is a relationship that isn't there, when there is intimacy that isn't there, when there is some sort of formal connection that isn't there people begin feeling entitled to that (fictional) connection lonely people can get angry

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@thoughtrise

6 months

at the end of the day, i hope my talking about this publicly makes organisations reflect on their interactions with small teams like ours and prevents this kind of thing happening to someone else not at all of us will take being treated like trash lightly and you never know who

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@thoughtrise

1 year

when i was a little girl i loved games but i wanted the games to LOVE ME. i wanted the characters i interacted with to learn who i was, what i cared about, acknowledge it the way a friend would. (it's why i got into games & procgen & emergent narrative - to manifest that future)

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@thoughtrise

10 months

are you guys really attempting to flee the sinking ship by jumping onto one captained by ZUCKERBERG? can we like, move forwards, not backwards, for once? anyway you won’t see me over there

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@thoughtrise

8 months

i just had a conversation about event safety and the times i feel most vulnerable at events. people often ask what they can do to help women and other targeted groups be safe at events there's something you can do that almost no one ever does - let's change that 1/

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@thoughtrise

6 months

FREE PALESTINE ✊

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@thoughtrise

3 months

i’d heard blizzard was evil, but i never understood quite what that meant until now i now understand that evil has made its bed there

Chris Sayers (He/Him)

@NotSoLittleC

3 months

so, enough time has passed now for me to talk about why i decided to leave Blizzard. a mixed year with great teammates, but a management that mistreated, lied to me, gaslit me, gave me a fake promotion, and HR that refused to help. buckle up friendos. 💪

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@thoughtrise

8 months

i've talked about this a bunch lately it can be legitimately frightening to put job ads out there when you're from a country whose exchange rate or relative COL makes your pay offers look significantly below average in USD please remember this is a global industry <3

Work With Indies ❤️🖤🤍💚

@WorkWithIndies

8 months

Thread incoming about how we as a community need to do better 🧵 Recently, we listed a job posting on our website from a company that was offering a rate of $5.20/hr. Our community members alerted us to this and we reached out to the company to verify. After a conversation...

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

6 months

be me be with your husband for 18 years have a child with him be sitting there minding your own business when your visiting stepfather says, “be honest, you just got with <husband> because he was famous right” what the actual fuck 🙃😂

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

10 months

so the idea that someone i didn't even know was in the audience was making up a story of how we were 'connecting' across the room as i spoke on the panel is, frankly, a lil bit terrifying :) i know they might even be reading this tweet right now they're in my city so uh, scary?

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.chantal//RYAN

@thoughtrise

2 months

@PedroTFilosofia @Cyael "foolish woman"

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