Steve @thahumorguy Twitter profile

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

That pre-broke stage, where you ain’t yet broke, but you can see it coming 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

YES I’m an outfit repeater but why u an outfit rememberer??!

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Older siblings: my baby brother The baby: a 25 year old

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

me after i encourage my friends to shoot their shot but they get left on read

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

people with healthy relationships with their parents be chillin in the living room

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

actually no one see you at your WORST like your coworkers do LMAAOO

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

my wedding MUST HAVE a drunk confessional room

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Not killing myself is a personal achievement but u can’t brag about that at dinner parties

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

“my mom explaining to the doctor how i feel” me:

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

my girl angry i havent replied to her selfie yet. hold on shawty im tryna figure out how to spell georges 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

this is how i be feeling when i can’t breathe out of my nose

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

How do y’all get addicted gambling??! i just lose $20 and I'm done

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

how tf is the customer always right??Bro im the one that was trained to work here 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Why even drive 15 mins for food when I can sit here and have it brought to me for only $65 more?

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

-Are you crying? Me: No -Look at me Me:

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

YEAH I’m down to go out again tonight

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

when she tryna talk to u just after acting crazy

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

When the water bottle on the nightstand pops

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Cooking together isn’t romantic, MOVE out my fkn way 🙄

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

sometimes I be unliking tweets after I think about that tweet for a second😂😂 like actually NO, this isn’t a good take 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

My urge to ask “Why that baby ain’t in school” when I see kids during the day is unmatched 😂😂

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

When you wake up from that fire ass nap & it's dark outside

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

Me enjoying my life knowing that nothing is really going well

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

Me after someone buys the house i had saved on Zillow, that I was gonna buy in 10 years..

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I like irregular texters cuz there's a mutual understanding between us that its okay to text back 5 days later with no bad vibes.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

adult life is just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 10 other things that have a hard deadline

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

your Bestfriend deadass be that person you hang out with the least 😭😭😭 like wtf

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I set my alarms extra early so I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Not exaggerating but i feel like I’m already tired tomorrow

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

and who said 30 minutes is enough time for an ADULT to have a lunch break ??!

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

getting pushed around by the wind is so embarrassing 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

last year i was depressed. this year i have been even more depressed. thats called growth

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

on a vacation you really gotta wake up at 7am to start your day or you're wasting time 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

age gaps in siblings are so funny like why was i an uncle at just 10 years

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

if i wake up at 6:57 and my alarm was set for 7, u can bet 100% imma close my eyes and go back to sleep for those 3 mins 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

i hate when babies start acting brand new like mf it’s me, i just saw you last week & we were best friends don’t do this to me

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Cooking for 3 hours 🤝 losing your appetite by the time u done cooking.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I be out of town amazed by the simplest of things. Like “Damn they got a upstairs Walgreens” 🥲

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

i wanna scam but i feel like god might use me as an example

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

i really hate slow walkers. walk with a purpose man 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

if she laughs at her own jokes she definitely a keeper

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

my appetite is so weird.. i be starving then take just 3 bites and be full.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I be flirting way too much for someone who's gonna have a panic attack when we link

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

she’s a 10 but is on that 4am-1pm sleeping schedule..

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

This why you just hit the double tap and like the response 🤣

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

when u text someone in the same room as you and waiting for them to see the message

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I actually laugh at my own jokes cuz I’m my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there fr 😂😂😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Idc how many kids we have. I ain't buying no damn van. somebody ain’t going 😩😩😂😂😂

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I’m that multipurpose friend. Like I’m down for whatever. Club, yoga, gym, church, the dj, art show, cinema a shootout, just call me 😂😂😂

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

"Clean your room, people coming for the barbeque" Me looking for the grill in my room

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

me tryna planning my whole future out at 4:30 am

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

How I look at the Starbucks menu knowing ima order the same shit I always get

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I track my packages just soon as I hit confirm payment

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Hearing my own voice on recording makes me wanna apologize to every single person I’ve talked to like I’m really sorry 😭😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

Some of my tweets are meant to be read as if i’m saying them into a confessional camera

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

If u ride in the car wit me at night, you loyal! cuz I really can’t see shit in the dark. I just be winging it honestly.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

me watching the show my girl put me on to after pretending it was trash for 4 episodes

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

When you’re 5 shots in & realize u haven’t eaten anything all day

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

That mf bed don’t start feeling it’s best until it’s time to wake up for work or school

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

If you get outside at 7am and start moving around you will realized how long 24 hours is.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

If I ask "what's ya zodiac sign?", it's either cuz we're vibing or you're getting on my nerves.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

How do y’all manage to eat breakfast in the morning?? I jus leave my house & hope for the best 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

it's so attractive when someone can respond to your sarcasm, with sarcasm instead of getting butthurt or offended

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I enjoy riding alone so I can replay 1 song 50 times with no complaints

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times & hoping they're braver than me

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I really loved the idea of moving and redecorating until I realized one pillow is literally $30

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

me on Thanksgiving when my family starts asking me about my love life, career and future

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I choose twitter over any other social media cuz there’s always someone who knows how to express what I feel better than me

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

My toxic trait is eating the lunch I brought to work as a snack at 10:00AM

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Anyone tired of figuring out what to make for dinner? This might be the worst part of being an adult fr no one warned me about this

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

if i'm tellin you a story be prepared to have 6 mini conversations and about 10 other stories thrown into it cuz i can't stay focused 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I’ll spend $50 on a meal QUICK but a $50 shirt just don’t sit right wit me 🥴

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

One thing about parents they gonna make a "playful joke" that just absolutely ruins your entire week

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

iPhone will take the most triggering photos from the past months and throw them into a beautiful video collage and call it “fun in the sun”

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

a girl that drives fast with 1 hand and plays loud music fasho beats men

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

“you changed” bro i watched a new tv show and stole the personality of the character i liked the most

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

women got that strange habit of saying GIRLL even to men when in deep convo 😂😂😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

have u ever been so right bout something that you end up laughing cuz u saw it coming all along?.... alwaysss lmao

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

date someone that can party with your friends & have lunch with your parents

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

me when i just get paid vs 3 days later

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

when u realise the job ain’t for you in the middle of its training

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Unknown numbers ringing me like I even answer phone calls from people I Know

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

every time i go broke i get flashbacks of money i spent unnecessarily

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

first borns 🤝being besties with the last born you share a 12 year age gap with 😂😂

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

“It don’t really matter what we do, I just wanna be around you”

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

No one goes to target cuz they need something. U go to target and let target tell you what you need.

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

No more talking stages cuz honestly idc what you had for lunch

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

Coworker relationships be kinda different, like I will fight a customer for you but, Im still not taking your 5am shift next Friday

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

me staring at the ATM when I'm done just to make sure that mf go back to the home screen 👀😂

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I feel so bad whenever my friends check up on me. like bro im not good but u ain’t gotta worry bout that

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

When you made plans in a better mood and now it’s time to do the plans

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

“You wore that shirt two days ago ” yeah I have a washing machine

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I really be tryna decide if I wanna spend $20 out my pocket, or the $20 off my card like it makes a difference 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I got two biggest vacation rules, no cheap hotels & no eating at places we can eat at home

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

My toxic trait is I can go from $1000 to $7.43 in just 24 hours 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

I’m not ugly, but if u see me at work idk what to tell you 😭😭

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

@WhoTFissim Mom: “Only call me if it’s an emergency!” Me: “Mom, may we have some chips?”

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

the masculine urge to say "my fault" when in reality idgaf

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Steve

@thahumorguy

1 year

Me happily listening to the same 6 songs everyday

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Steve

@thahumorguy

2 years

My lurking game is so crazy I be on your grandma page looking at your baby pictures 😭😭

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